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Old Dec 20th 2009, 1:53 pm
  #91  
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Default Re: Happiness

Originally Posted by kiwi_child
I think what most of us think of as happiness is a set of romantised notions, mr/miss right, the dream home, dream career, perfect family, etc Infact i think happiness is the WRONG word for most of us and CONTENTMENT or SATISFACTION would be more apt.
Yes, you cold have a point there with the difference between happiness and contentment

Originally Posted by kiwi_child
I think to answer your question, we each have an inner longing to connect to others in a meaningful way and to just appreciate life and to find our real (inner) path in life. I think that is really what all this happiness malarky is about.
May we all find that state of being
And that meaningful connection with others is the way we hope to find what we view is happiness - for ourselves and for the other person.
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Old Dec 20th 2009, 1:55 pm
  #92  
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Default Re: Happiness

HAPPINESS = DRUGS AND LOTS OF THEM
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Old Dec 20th 2009, 1:58 pm
  #93  
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Default Re: Happiness

Originally Posted by soapy©
HAPPINESS = DRUGS AND LOTS OF THEM
Alcohol and Nurofen are quite a good mix
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Old Dec 20th 2009, 4:10 pm
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Default Re: Happiness

Originally Posted by asprilla
But the happy child that you describe above, is only happy because it has food, shelter and companionship. These are the keys to being happy, for adults and children alike.
No, I don't think that is the child I describe above. I mention family conditioning as a negative, but children in the worst of situations can still be happy when they are on the edge of starving, or having lost a parent, or having little companionship. I do not believe the three things you mention are the basis for happiness.
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Old Dec 20th 2009, 4:36 pm
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Default Re: Happiness

Originally Posted by Pollyana
No, I don't feel that I have the right just because I'm human. I feel that I need to earn good fortune/happiness/whatever you call it - like karma, as I said before - as if you get what you deserve from life.
Well that's interesting for sure. I believe if you put crap out into the world it will come back and bite you on the arse at some point... But this doesn't make me think about 'earning' good fortune. Good fortune is freely available without having to earn it I think. Wouldn't want to go to bed worrying I hadn't done enough good stuff in a day to bank my karma.



I've met them too. I can't subscribe to that way of thinking. If someone can get as far as realising they are damaged by their circumstances then surely they are capable of reaching out for help? Although you can't force them to take the help though, and I think there are some people in the world who actually don't want rescuing from that damaged state.
Oh I actually think some people enjoy the status it gives them. They cry about 'poor me' and it gets them reward in the form of sympathy. Then people become quite manipulatable if there's sympathy and it's a win win situation, except in the long run, it restricts growth.

I wouldn't suggest its something that happens all the time - of course I don't spend my whole life wondering how to make people happy, but its like doing a good turn that backfires. Most people will recognise that from some point in their lives I'm sure, doing something or saying something, behaving in a certain way which you think is the right thing and ending up causing pain instead of pleasure to the other person.

Maybe its not an experience you've had?
No, I can honestly say I've never done a good turn that went bad. Perhaps that is down to the receptive nature of the person who is on the receiving end? I can't speak for 'most people' though... I'm not sure either of us can. Is it something that's happened to you a lot and therefore you assume most people experience it too?



Actually I do really feel quite content at present. The reason for starting the discussion was just cos I was mulling over something that happened that night and just got to wondering about other people's thoughts on the subject. Reckoned it would be interesting to hear what other people thought about that elusive state of "happiness".......
Well I think it's not so elusive.

As for recognizing family stuff, your original post would indicate you're still well and truly reading off that script. It's good to recognize it for what it is, but then there's the deviation from the script too. That's a different step.


No, I don't agree with that, I think it is quite possible to be reasonably content, and that is the way I feel. Not 100% content with my life, but certainly OK at the moment
I have been just OK and come through that. I can't imagine being there again but I might be some day. Perhaps our descriptions of OK differ.

Honestly, that is why I started it - a train of thought as to why people - me included at times - strive for more out of life, and keep thinking there must be a better life there for them somewhere.
But I think it's a natural process for humans to look for more. That's maybe how we evolved... And perhaps there is something better out there for you? How do you know there isn't?


Those who do know my skills well enough to offer career guidance aren't suggesting a move at all because they are well aware that I have found my professional niche.
Well that's different to what you originally said. But how do you know you've found it if you don't leap out and try something new?
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Old Dec 20th 2009, 4:57 pm
  #96  
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Default Re: Happiness

Originally Posted by TiddlyPom
No, I don't think that is the child I describe above. I mention family conditioning as a negative, but children in the worst of situations can still be happy when they are on the edge of starving, or having lost a parent, or having little companionship. I do not believe the three things you mention are the basis for happiness.

I think that you might have a romanticized view on happiness. In reality, young children who are starving, homeless and/or alone, are extremely unhappy. It is true that they might have fleeting moments of happiness but in general they are not happy. The happy newborn baby you describe lives in a warm environment, is well fed and is loved/looked after/has a sense of companionship.

When the young child becomes older, the final ingredient to being happy becomes apparent - a person not only needs food&shelter and friends/partners, they also need freedom.

These are the three things that we as humans need to be happy. Unfortunately most people cannot see this simple fact.
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Old Dec 20th 2009, 5:04 pm
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Default Re: Happiness

Originally Posted by asprilla
I think that you might have a romanticized view on happiness. In reality, young children who are starving, homeless and/or alone, are extremely unhappy. It is true that they might have fleeting moments of happiness but in general they are not happy. The happy newborn baby you describe lives in a warm environment, is well fed and is loved/looked after/has a sense of companionship.

When the young child becomes older, the final ingredient to being happy becomes apparent - a person not only needs food&shelter and friends/partners, they also need freedom.

These are the three things that we as humans need to be happy. Unfortunately most people cannot see this simple fact.
I don't think I have a romanticised view of happiness at all, but thanks for the assessment. I merely have a different view to you.
Children play in the worst of circumstances. It's natural. This is what I'm referring to. As you say, they have moments of happiness.
I don't think anyone is happy all of the time. It's not possible, but I do believe that in the worst places children find their moments of happiness.
That's not romantic but scientifically accepted wisdom.

I'm talking with specific regard to Polly, who as much as I know about her, had a well cared for childhood with people who loved her. She wasn't chucked into a Romanian orphanage and left to rock herself alone in a cot. Therefore, I would have said that at a point, she was a naturally happy child and can access that feeling again.

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Old Dec 20th 2009, 11:22 pm
  #98  
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Default Re: Happiness

Originally Posted by TiddlyPom

I'm talking with specific regard to Polly, who as much as I know about her, had a well cared for childhood with people who loved her. She wasn't chucked into a Romanian orphanage and left to rock herself alone in a cot. Therefore, I would have said that at a point, she was a naturally happy child and can access that feeling again.
Hmmm, not going to comment on that, its way beyond the scope of this thread.

Also, this was never meant to be a "let's psycho-analyse Polly" thread, as I'm actually really interested in other views, however diverse they are - such as those about children in orphanages and living in poor conditions, as well as people such as PP, with an "ordinary life" in Australia, and her own ideas of what makes her "happy". Thats really why I started it, more than searching for an insight to my own soul.
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Old Dec 20th 2009, 11:30 pm
  #99  
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Default Re: Happiness

Originally Posted by Bernieboy
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To my Wingman, if he ever logs back in to read it - we both now know I owe you an apology in regard to that post, mon ami, and I think it needs to be a public one. Wrong time, wrong place, wrong wording, whatever, a blip in life's rich tapestry. Sorry

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Old Dec 20th 2009, 11:39 pm
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Default Re: Happiness

Happiness is the only sanction of life; where happiness fails, existence remains a mad and lamentable experiment.

George Santayana
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Old Dec 20th 2009, 11:42 pm
  #101  
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Default Re: Happiness

Originally Posted by kporte
Happiness is the only sanction of life; where happiness fails, existence remains a mad and lamentable experiment.

George Santayana
Hell, that's deep

Trouble is it's easier to be aware of being unhappy than it is of being happy. Happy is kind of automatic and you take it for granted. Become unhappy and it fills your world to the extent it can be hard to find a way out.

Disclaimer: General you not specific
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Old Dec 20th 2009, 11:43 pm
  #102  
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Default Re: Happiness

Originally Posted by Pollyana
To my Wingman, if he ever logs back in to read it - we both now know I owe you an apology in regard to that post, mon ami, and I think it needs to be a public one. Wrong time, wrong place, wrong wording, whatever, a blip in life's rich tapestry. Sorry
& maybe you need to be sure about what you are apologising for!
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Old Dec 20th 2009, 11:45 pm
  #103  
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Default Re: Happiness

For my granda happiness was hiding in his shed sitting on an old box lighting up his woodbines. As my gran hated smoking and used to give him a hard time lol.

I was speaking to an old lady recently who at 90 has the startings of demantia, and for her happiness is remembering her childhood and young life when she was able to do as she pleased. Now she is happy to hear of 'young people' having an adventure.

I asked my 7 year old what makes him happy and he simply said, having a mam and dad who love him despite him not being perfect.
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Old Dec 20th 2009, 11:46 pm
  #104  
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Default Re: Happiness

Originally Posted by moneypenny20
Hell, that's deep

Trouble is it's easier to be aware of being unhappy than it is of being happy. Happy is kind of automatic and you take it for granted. Become unhappy and it fills your world to the extent it can be hard to find a way out.

Disclaimer: General you not specific
It fits me just now
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Old Dec 20th 2009, 11:47 pm
  #105  
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Default Re: Happiness

Originally Posted by sallyclaire
& maybe you need to be sure about what you are apologising for!
A true friend wouldn't need an apology, they would understand what caused the comments in the first place. However I guess if you are a true friend you would feel you have to apologise
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