kiwi_child

Life will present us with obstacles/challenges that affect how we feel, think about and perceive things etc. And it can come straight out of the blue, no prior warning! I think that how we choose to respond depends on the weight we give to the circumstance and our skills, resources, opportunities at the time. Inaction is easier than action but sometimes we don't gain anything by reacting. Infact we may at times gain more by simply 'letting go'

TiddlyPom

No it's not the same thing Sue.

I think you should go with how you feel when you feel it. There's putting a bright face on for something... but you know, if people don't know how you're feeling, how can they support you through it?

TiddlyPom

That's a very interesting through KC. I like that.... perhaps like the earlier post about people coming to Aus, for the big house and the pool and tv or whatever and then leaving months later....

That is so very true.

Good post.

kiwi_child

Difficult if we are talking about adult children, but even then, as a parent you have the right to bring up your concerns while still respecting they own their lives. We can't make decisions for our adult kids, can't really guide them anymore, but we can let them know why we have a particular concern and let them know we love them and will be there for them (within reasonable limits). As adults they have to learn to take responsibility for their own lives, actions and consequences of those actions.

If you focus too much on the bad choices you feel they make, you could well end up missing internalising the good times with them, that would add to your happiness and theirs.

TiddlyPom

Because striving for it doesn't work K. It's something you need to find in there again. It's still there, just waiting to be discovered again. It's not gone permanently.

petensue

That is very true.Sue.

petensue

I agree about what you say about adult children.

My daughter was 15 when she left home and has just turned 16.She has been gone for 6 weeks.Anyway there is good news as she is meant to meet us tomorrow,I only hope she turns up this time.Sue.

TiddlyPom

Good luck with it Sue. It's a hard time of year and 16 is very young.

petensue

Thank youSue.

rabsody

Personally, I aspire to contentment not happiness or perfection. An acceptance of life with all its ups and downs, good bits and bad bits, warts and all.

I think being true and authentic to yourself is a key part of this.

kiwi_child

The teenage years can be hard on both the kids and the parents. And thesedays parents seem to have very little rights, while the kids are savvy with the legal speak.

I've been watching that 'family brat camp' on ABC and they had one obnoxious girl who lied to parents, camp counsellors etc on camera, that she had been assaulted and that this had traumatised her and led to her bad behaviour and now she felt if she had to stay longer at the camp it was like being punished for being a victim. Parents bought it..hugs all around and promises of better things. They got back to UK and she admitted it was a load of bollocks designed to get her back home and with her friends. I fair felt like kicking her right up the arse!

Sally Simpson

It's a good series isn't it?
Has made me apprciate that my two really are not too bad at all! Sometimes you need some perspective when you feel like you are in the midst of a constant battle.

Hope the meeting went well today Sue!

livinginreality

Be happy in the now time because realistically,thats all we ever have!Why wait for the future?Why dwell on the past!Look for the positives and keep focussed on them!

petensue

Thank you it did go well and she is back homeI know it's early days but she does seem sorry for what happened and really pleased to be back home.

I would have sent you karma Sallyclaire but not allowed to!

I am happy now.Sue.

Sally Simpson

That is fab Sue & I will keep my fingerscrossed for you.
Very best wishes to all of you