Centurion

Could be worse I reckon. Some of us could believe in space ships, intergalactic wars and be involved with scientific cults.....

Oh wait...never mind

arkon

LOL, I was with you right up to scientific cults. Who's one of them then? Now spaceships and intergalactic wars I can believe.

worzel

See what you did there Arkon? You assumed the 7 lives were human / that they would be taken now. They could have been taken hundreds of years later. Or maybe it was cockroaches. Maybe even one cat lost 7 so needs to be extra careful crossing the road now.

arkon

True, but that still doesn't explain who Cain shagged unless it was his mother Eve.

chris and farideh

since when has it been wrong to shag your mother? I thought everyone did it.

Also wot about this snake then? was it a he or a she? maybe it was up for a bit of porking

chris

why

oh arkon i too read my very olde worlde bible .it's great!!!! it's so completely mad..my favorite bits are: who was there when Jesus rose from the dead? the daughters of arron. mary mother , mary mag (the one he love and kissed on the lips all the time), salome marys cousin and someone else... they also had about a kg of murrrh (what the hell was that for...?) the daughters of arron were the temple priestesses and were in charge of incense...according to some he went to UK and established the true christian faith at Glastonbury.....it's very interesting....jesus made up a new commandment too at the sermon on the mount "love thine enemy as yourself" and also said you will go to hell if you even look at someone else if you are married AHHHHH I'm off to hell.......(i'd rather be there as the smokers will be there..i always hang out with the smokers)......time for bed i think before i go mad.....what about "kiss me with your mouth.. your love is better than wine....."(only good words in bible).....UM i think i'll have the wine.. oh had some already....bye.....

asher

what else can you expect in a book that has had more editors than you have had hot meals

BadgeIsBack

Have you got to the bit where he says

"Blessed are the cheesemakers"

(or makers of dairy products)

rossifumi

The done thing in Camborne, apparently.

painter man

The lord will provide how does he work that out then.
Just a few starving in the world

esperanza

I started reading the bible once, thought I should see what all the fuss is about and be able to confound god-squadders with my incredible knowledge of their holy book.... Safe to say it didn't convert me, but then I didn't finish it. I got on fine with genesis, and the floods and things - I went to CofE school so it was all quite familiar and I can see how it could be interpreted liberally rather than fundamentally....
But then I got to the bit where God gives them all a load of instructions about how to live. Or maybe it was a prophet... either way the rules came from God and they were bizarre - "If thou finds green mould on a wooden object, take it out of the village and leave it in the desert for seven days and seven nights and if when thou looks again it is still green then burn it" and things like that! But what made me really mad was the bit about women and times of the month... the bible may have had a hundred editors but they were all MEN!
Anyway I got bored of that section and stopped.

Poppett44

A Jehovahs witness once told me that dinosaurs were put on the earth by God to poo all over it and make it fertile for when he invented humans, when they had done the job he wiped them out

esperanza

Ah but the meek shall inherit the earth - tis easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to pass through the gates of heaven.
So in the LONGRUN they are actually better off, you see?

asher

and the meek shall inherit the earth........







if that's all right with the rest of you

esperanza

Has anyone seen the Ricky Gervais standup 'Animals'? We have it on DVD, we've watched it dozens of times and it is still hilarious - there is a whole section on the bible, it's very funny.

(If you didn't like the office - which i didn't - , this is still funny. Well worth a watch, especially with some mates and a few bottles of beer/wine!)