This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
Nov 4th 2011, 9:36 am
#91
da Bonehead
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Lion in da jungle
Posts: 22,767
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
Me too. I get all my emotional support from Mr BS, my very best friend from the day we met. With a couple of exceptions, I am reasonably transient when it comes to other friends. Not everyone needs a tight friend network to make immigration (or life in general) work.
Nov 4th 2011, 10:19 am
#92
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Western burbs, Melbourne
Posts: 2,260
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
sorry to interupt the bonding of social misfits....but back on track- good to see the DM had a slow news day and managed to drag the article into a major 'news event' this week
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ning-home.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ning-home.html
Nov 4th 2011, 10:25 am
#93
da Bonehead
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Lion in da jungle
Posts: 22,767
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
sorry to interupt the bonding of social misfits....but back on track- good to see the DM had a slow news day and managed to drag the article into a major 'news event' this week
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ning-home.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ning-home.html
Nov 4th 2011, 11:06 am
#94
Take it easy
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 10,182
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
Why worry whether people will stay or move back? There is no black and white, no right or wrong and no one really knows how it go for them until they give it a go.
Nov 4th 2011, 11:07 am
#95
Take it easy
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 10,182
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
Nov 4th 2011, 11:50 am
#96
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Western burbs, Melbourne
Posts: 2,260
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
Because we are here in UK for a finite period, we are doing lots of cultural things- castles, houses, National Trust. English Heritage etc (definitely getting castle fatigue).
I am finding it hugely amusing that my English dwelling friends and family are enjoying our tours virtually as they have never been to half the places we have visited.
....it's all because they can go anytime, that they never go!
I am finding it hugely amusing that my English dwelling friends and family are enjoying our tours virtually as they have never been to half the places we have visited.
....it's all because they can go anytime, that they never go!
Nov 4th 2011, 11:53 am
#97
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,130
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
Because we are here in UK for a finite period, we are doing lots of cultural things- castles, houses, National Trust. English Heritage etc (definitely getting castle fatigue).
I am finding it hugely amusing that my English dwelling friends and family are enjoying our tours virtually as they have never been to half the places we have visited.
....it's all because they can go anytime, that they never go!
I am finding it hugely amusing that my English dwelling friends and family are enjoying our tours virtually as they have never been to half the places we have visited.
....it's all because they can go anytime, that they never go!
Nov 4th 2011, 9:14 pm
#99
Officially Bewildered
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Blue Mountains, NSW
Posts: 5,523
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
1) As you say, you can do them any time and
2) they were always full of flipping tourists
We had a long weekend in York last month and I'd planned that we'd walk the city walls, do the Railway Museum and Yorvik, perhaps fit in the Castle Museum and the York Dungeons (although we have done the last one before, when we had a German exchange student)... when we got there, YoungestChild moaned that he'd had to do all that with school, did he really have to do it again.. so we went to the seaside, cinema and bowling instead
Nov 5th 2011, 10:43 am
#100
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Western burbs, Melbourne
Posts: 2,260
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
We had a long weekend in York last month and I'd planned that we'd walk the city walls, do the Railway Museum and Yorvik, perhaps fit in the Castle Museum and the York Dungeons (although we have done the last one before, when we had a German exchange student)... when we got there, YoungestChild moaned that he'd had to do all that with school, did he really have to do it again.. so we went to the seaside, cinema and bowling instead
Few more touristy spots on our itinerary and we will be ready to return..
Nov 5th 2011, 2:14 pm
#101
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Somewhere South... Not Telling YOU
Posts: 10,959
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
I understand the need for family/friends and needing to belong being a big pull for those who do decide to go back...
I'm really lucky because the only two real reasons I would consider EVER moving back to the UK for are coming out here... For good... My parents...
Wouldnt even think once about moving back for anyone else....
I married my best friend, and our "family" are here now.... The four "kids" 2 dogs, 3 cats and monty the python....
Beginning to make local connections... It might be easier being a nurse and working in your own local community to make those.... I have good friends here now... And can stay in touch with old friends via tinternet/phone/snail mail.....
A lot of my friends that I HAVe stayed in touch with are expats all around the world anyway... Not back there....
Until I loose my husband and my best friend i have no reason to be anywhere but here with him... And it wouldnt matter where i was i the world I'd still be alone without him.....
I suppose the thought of a swheppstones pork pie would encourage me to visit the uk at some stage in the future... But my life is here now and I just get on with it...
The thought of the turmoil and upheaval of going back would not fill me with joy... I wouldnt voluntarily do it....We're here, we're happy, we're settled...
Dont honestly believe that reading that article would have changed our plans to immigrate... We had thought long and hard about those exact issues before we came
I'm really lucky because the only two real reasons I would consider EVER moving back to the UK for are coming out here... For good... My parents...
Wouldnt even think once about moving back for anyone else....
I married my best friend, and our "family" are here now.... The four "kids" 2 dogs, 3 cats and monty the python....
Beginning to make local connections... It might be easier being a nurse and working in your own local community to make those.... I have good friends here now... And can stay in touch with old friends via tinternet/phone/snail mail.....
A lot of my friends that I HAVe stayed in touch with are expats all around the world anyway... Not back there....
Until I loose my husband and my best friend i have no reason to be anywhere but here with him... And it wouldnt matter where i was i the world I'd still be alone without him.....
I suppose the thought of a swheppstones pork pie would encourage me to visit the uk at some stage in the future... But my life is here now and I just get on with it...
The thought of the turmoil and upheaval of going back would not fill me with joy... I wouldnt voluntarily do it....We're here, we're happy, we're settled...
Dont honestly believe that reading that article would have changed our plans to immigrate... We had thought long and hard about those exact issues before we came
Nov 12th 2011, 1:30 am
#102
Account Closed
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 14,188
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
It's very easy to work out if people are going to stay here or move back. You can work it out in the first 6 months of them arriving.
Unrealistic expectations is one of the first things you pick up on. "Why can't I live in a giant mansion by the harbour with views of the bridge having just sold my 3 bedroom semi in an inner city location in the UK?" "Why is fuel not free?". "Despite the fact that this chicken breast as 4 times the size of a Tescos chicken breast I fail to understand why it is 4 times the cost!".
Second is not having committed emotionally to the move before arriving. This becomes really obvious in the way that expats start talking about family, friends and Tescos. Yes you WILL miss them that much and did you really think that because they speak English here they are the same as you? This is a foreign country after all!
Thirdly is lack of integration skills. You need to make enough close friends to provide emotional support. If you do not have a track record of being able to find and keep very good friendships then it will be a struggle. Add to that the complex and deep cultural differences and it is totally understandable why people struggle.
There is a fourth, more complex indicator as well. Often I find people who come here talk about the move as if they thought moving here would change them. Somehow make them a more relaxed, easy going, happier person. You cannot migrate away from yourself!
The fact is that Australia offers a great deal. In my view more than the UK and so we chose to start our family here. But the debate is ultimately pointless because we all feel the need to justify the decisions we make. Nobody will ever convince me that the North of England (where I am from) is a better place for my children than Melbourne, nor would I expect to convince someone over there otherwise.
And yes, I am very close to my UK based family. My parents are still alive, I am the eldest of 4 children, I have two of my own children who wish they could see their grandparents, and count at least one UK based couple as some of my best friends. But I still believe Melbourne is the right place for us to live.
Unrealistic expectations is one of the first things you pick up on. "Why can't I live in a giant mansion by the harbour with views of the bridge having just sold my 3 bedroom semi in an inner city location in the UK?" "Why is fuel not free?". "Despite the fact that this chicken breast as 4 times the size of a Tescos chicken breast I fail to understand why it is 4 times the cost!".
Second is not having committed emotionally to the move before arriving. This becomes really obvious in the way that expats start talking about family, friends and Tescos. Yes you WILL miss them that much and did you really think that because they speak English here they are the same as you? This is a foreign country after all!
Thirdly is lack of integration skills. You need to make enough close friends to provide emotional support. If you do not have a track record of being able to find and keep very good friendships then it will be a struggle. Add to that the complex and deep cultural differences and it is totally understandable why people struggle.
There is a fourth, more complex indicator as well. Often I find people who come here talk about the move as if they thought moving here would change them. Somehow make them a more relaxed, easy going, happier person. You cannot migrate away from yourself!
The fact is that Australia offers a great deal. In my view more than the UK and so we chose to start our family here. But the debate is ultimately pointless because we all feel the need to justify the decisions we make. Nobody will ever convince me that the North of England (where I am from) is a better place for my children than Melbourne, nor would I expect to convince someone over there otherwise.
And yes, I am very close to my UK based family. My parents are still alive, I am the eldest of 4 children, I have two of my own children who wish they could see their grandparents, and count at least one UK based couple as some of my best friends. But I still believe Melbourne is the right place for us to live.
"complex" "deep" really?I can also think of plenty of places in the North of England where I would rather live than Melbourne... and I quite like Melbourne.
