This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
Nov 4th 2011, 4:38 am
#76
Banned
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 22,348
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
Nov 4th 2011, 5:07 am
#77
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
It's very easy to work out if people are going to stay here or move back. You can work it out in the first 6 months of them arriving.
Unrealistic expectations is one of the first things you pick up on. "Why can't I live in a giant mansion by the harbour with views of the bridge having just sold my 3 bedroom semi in an inner city location in the UK?" "Why is fuel not free?". "Despite the fact that this chicken breast as 4 times the size of a Tescos chicken breast I fail to understand why it is 4 times the cost!".
Second is not having committed emotionally to the move before arriving. This becomes really obvious in the way that expats start talking about family, friends and Tescos. Yes you WILL miss them that much and did you really think that because they speak English here they are the same as you? This is a foreign country after all!
Thirdly is lack of integration skills. You need to make enough close friends to provide emotional support. If you do not have a track record of being able to find and keep very good friendships then it will be a struggle. Add to that the complex and deep cultural differences and it is totally understandable why people struggle.
There is a fourth, more complex indicator as well. Often I find people who come here talk about the move as if they thought moving here would change them. Somehow make them a more relaxed, easy going, happier person. You cannot migrate away from yourself!
The fact is that Australia offers a great deal. In my view more than the UK and so we chose to start our family here. But the debate is ultimately pointless because we all feel the need to justify the decisions we make. Nobody will ever convince me that the North of England (where I am from) is a better place for my children than Melbourne, nor would I expect to convince someone over there otherwise.
And yes, I am very close to my UK based family. My parents are still alive, I am the eldest of 4 children, I have two of my own children who wish they could see their grandparents, and count at least one UK based couple as some of my best friends. But I still believe Melbourne is the right place for us to live.
Unrealistic expectations is one of the first things you pick up on. "Why can't I live in a giant mansion by the harbour with views of the bridge having just sold my 3 bedroom semi in an inner city location in the UK?" "Why is fuel not free?". "Despite the fact that this chicken breast as 4 times the size of a Tescos chicken breast I fail to understand why it is 4 times the cost!".
Second is not having committed emotionally to the move before arriving. This becomes really obvious in the way that expats start talking about family, friends and Tescos. Yes you WILL miss them that much and did you really think that because they speak English here they are the same as you? This is a foreign country after all!
Thirdly is lack of integration skills. You need to make enough close friends to provide emotional support. If you do not have a track record of being able to find and keep very good friendships then it will be a struggle. Add to that the complex and deep cultural differences and it is totally understandable why people struggle.
There is a fourth, more complex indicator as well. Often I find people who come here talk about the move as if they thought moving here would change them. Somehow make them a more relaxed, easy going, happier person. You cannot migrate away from yourself!
The fact is that Australia offers a great deal. In my view more than the UK and so we chose to start our family here. But the debate is ultimately pointless because we all feel the need to justify the decisions we make. Nobody will ever convince me that the North of England (where I am from) is a better place for my children than Melbourne, nor would I expect to convince someone over there otherwise.
And yes, I am very close to my UK based family. My parents are still alive, I am the eldest of 4 children, I have two of my own children who wish they could see their grandparents, and count at least one UK based couple as some of my best friends. But I still believe Melbourne is the right place for us to live.
Nov 4th 2011, 5:13 am
#78
Officially Bewildered
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Blue Mountains, NSW
Posts: 5,523
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
Thirdly is lack of integration skills. You need to make enough close friends to provide emotional support. If you do not have a track record of being able to find and keep very good friendships then it will be a struggle. Add to that the complex and deep cultural differences and it is totally understandable why people struggle.
+1 for the rest of your post though
Nov 4th 2011, 5:52 am
#79
Victorian Evangelist
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Melbourne, by the beach, living the dream.
Posts: 7,704
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
That actually gave me a lot of reassurance in the final days before leaving England for ever.
BB
Nov 4th 2011, 5:59 am
#80
da Bonehead
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Lion in da jungle
Posts: 22,767
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
Although I agree with the vast majority of your post, I strongly disagree with that. I've always been crap at making and maintaining friendships (particularly 'good' friends) but I don't really need friends to provide emotional support.
+1 for the rest of your post though
+1 for the rest of your post though
Similar for us. We only had what I would call one close friend in the UK and that was a German girl.
Nov 4th 2011, 6:04 am
#81
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 6,600
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
Although I agree with the vast majority of your post, I strongly disagree with that. I've always been crap at making and maintaining friendships (particularly 'good' friends) but I don't really need friends to provide emotional support.
+1 for the rest of your post though
+1 for the rest of your post though
Nov 4th 2011, 6:16 am
#82
da Bonehead
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Lion in da jungle
Posts: 22,767
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
Arrange 2 events per month........no-one turns up.....but everyones really happy.
Nov 4th 2011, 6:17 am
#83
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 6,600
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
Edit: Please do not reply to this post. I don't want to give everyone the impression we're getting 'chummy'.
Nov 4th 2011, 7:27 am
#86
Officially Bewildered
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Blue Mountains, NSW
Posts: 5,523
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
Nov 4th 2011, 7:28 am
#87
Officially Bewildered
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Blue Mountains, NSW
Posts: 5,523
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
Nov 4th 2011, 9:22 am
#88
da Bonehead
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Lion in da jungle
Posts: 22,767
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
There were two lions walking along the Great Western Highway and one said to the other "not many people about are there"?
Nov 4th 2011, 9:32 am
#90
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 14,284
Re: This article should be compulsory reading for anyone planning to emigrate
Me too. I get all my emotional support from Mr BS, my very best friend from the day we met. With a couple of exceptions, I am reasonably transient when it comes to other friends. Not everyone needs a tight friend network to make immigration (or life in general) work.