William Shaw

This forum is full of (generally good natured) observations about the frustrations of life as an expat in the States.

I am going through the process of moving my family to Connecticut in the coming months and am evaluating pros and cons.

I would be interested to hear from you caustic veterans, if you could start again, whether you would have moved to the US at all and if so what you would have done differently.

Also, what was your greatest culture/lifestyle shock?

nethead

I don't think I would move if I had my time over, and wish I'd listened more to my gut feelings before we did, but didn't want to let people down (mainly the in-laws).

I wasn't unhappy in the UK, but was persuaded to move by the bigger cheaper house thing. My husband had a pretty good job with lots of prospects with IBM in system admin, and it took him around 9 months to find a job here, and it's in tech support, and crap wages.

I don't hate it here (usually), but I think I'd definitely be happier in the UK.

paddingtongreen

I've thought about this, having seen the complaints. I came here long ago and wasn't stuck in either place. When you reach a fork in the road, you are at a certain state of comfort, but you can't know which fork is best for maintaining that comfort. If you take one fork and be less comfortable, you assume that you took the wrong fork. This may or may not be true, and you can never be sure. There are things that I miss, and much that I don't miss. Personally, I tend to adapt to circumstances and push, gently, to improve them, instead of fighting them.

I thought that in the "great melting pot", people would be able to handle a wide range of pronunciation, but the opposite was true. Also, that their was no line drawn between doctors and surgeons or between solicitors (lawyers) and barristers (trial lawyers), a GP (family doctor) might do the surgery herself although I think liability insurance cost has cut down on this.

krizzy

We've had lots of ups and downs...but I would still move...I'm still not sure it was the best move for my kids now they are out of school...only time will tell on that one...

I've found very little difference living in the US ..work school shopping.. worries about paying bills etc all the same as in the UK...I live in a very English part of the USA a bit like Cornwall...sometime it feels like I've never left the UK...we class going over the bridges as going to the USA for the afternoon...
culture/lifestyle shock...how poor some Americans are...and losing your job with no warning.....

Angry White Pyjamas

Would I do it if I had never done it?
Absolutely...lifes too short to piss it away playing "what ifs..."


Would I do it again now I've already done it?
Maybe in the future when the kids have all left home. But then again its a big old world with too many other places to see.


Do I regret doing it?
Not in the slightest.

britvic

No I would not do it again, and I would go as far to say it's the biggest mistake I've ever made

Angry White Pyjamas

But but but...then you'd never have met me and I'd have never met you.

britvic

Well that is true my sweet

krizzy

I thought that a few times...mostly when we hit a large problem...now we've come out of most of them OK...I feel very at home here...

britvic

It's been four years now and any more time will not make me feel any different, all I can say is we gave it a go

William Shaw

It all seems a bit bleak...What are the most striking downsides? Pressure? Money? Missing family? lack of friends? Opportunities?

AdobePinon

Sure I'd do it again. I came out here originally to study and have ended up staying. I wasn't looking for the bigger cheaper house so those types of factors have never really been a part of my thoughts.

OTOH, as a family you probably have a different set of expectations which may not be so easy to meet.

William Shaw

I have a wife and three small children (4, 2 and 3 month old boys). Our initial expectations are for a three year (minimum) adventure/experience of living in a different environment. I don't think that we have romantic expections and are wary of issues such as credit history, political differences etc, but hope to see new things and find an interesting working environment. I don't expect streets paved with gold. If it doesn't work out we will just come back.

It is difficult to get real insight as to the realities of life for a new expat.

johnny nofrfolk

I have lived in several countries. and on balance I dont think there is anywhere better than England. We are in a rural part and the quality of life is fantastic. Going for a few days to London and I was able to buy the return tickets from Norwich to London for both of us for £20.

We will have 4 days of noise, shows the best choice of food & wine in the world, then return to our house and garden in rural Norfolk. bliss

krizzy

You can find it a bit lonely...
we were never in for the first few years...my son played Ice Hockey in the UK...and carried on with it over here...so we were away most weekends...saw a lot of MA...made a lot of 'friends'...but Americans are always so busy...so when my best friend on Cape had to go back to work..she was the only other stay at home mum I knew...I found for a while that I would see no-one for weeks on end....
In England my house was always full of kids and mums...so it was hard to get used to a quiet house...