TrishP

I know nothing about your field of employment, but I got a magazine sent from my old uni last week and in it they were talking about the new software/gaming degree - why not get into teaching? At least the holidays'll be better!!

kt.2006

I imagine when you go back to the UK on holiday you feel at home with your friends and family and they make you feel welcome and care about you. This is what is missing in your life in Silicon Valley. American companies can make you feel overworked and undervalued. It could well be the right thing for you to move back to the UK. However, you were 6 years' younger when you lived there and everyone's lives will have changed a lot since then. You probably have a great time when you visit for 2 weeks, but if you returned to live in the UK your friends may have less time for you than you think. On the plus side you already know what it is like to work for a games company in the UK, so it will probably be less pay but at least you will get far more holiday.
Good luck in your decision.

DarrenP

Not a bad idea TrishB thanks. I actually gave a talk to the kids at the school my Dad works at in the UK in January, and found it very rewarding. Don't you need a teaching degree though?

kt.2006: thanks for the thoughts. I totally understand that slotting back into my old life in the UK six years ago is an impossibility. People have moved on, and a lot can change in six years. But re-creating my old social circle isn't really my primary motivation for contemplating going back I don't think. Another thing I've realised lately, is that I don't tend to go away much at weekends here. Apart from a couple of friends down south in Santa Monica, I don't know anybody in the US beyond this city, so I think that's why I feel isolated. But in Britain my family are *very* widespread. My mother lives in Devon, my brother in Cambridge, my Dad in London, my old friends in London, my sister in Scotland. I see myself having a more fulfilling and varied life travelling around and visiting folks and doing stuff at weekends. That and working far less hours are I think are main reasons I'm getting itchy feet here.

As an update, I just had a telephone interview wth a well known computer graphics film effects house in London. They really liked my work (linky to my page on my profile If anyone is curious what I do) and it seemed to go really well. They said they would be in touch soon.

Ironically, the thought of getting a tube into the west end to work everyday suddenly horrifies me, hahah! doh! Oh well, it doesn't have to be forever. I'd like to start a business eventually.

kt.2006

That's great news. I have just moved to Australia 4 months' ago and it feels very isolated from the rest of the world. Suddenly the UK's position so close to Europe makes it a far more interesting country than I ever appreciated it to be! One good thing since you have been gone is the extremely cheap air fares from Ryanair and Easyjet. My friend recently went to Dublin for free (only paid for airport taxes) and we had a weekend in Edinburgh for £10 each way plus taxes.

TrishP

I saw the info re the degree course in the alumnus magazine for the Universtiy of Ulster - maybe see if there's any info on the website and, hey, knowledge counts for so much more than a piece of paper when it comes to teaching - I think they'll take anyone on as a tutor as long as they make a commitment to gaining a higher degree.

Caligirl4ever

Hi Darren,

Come move down to Morgan Hill and commute north to SV. It's really pretty here with mountains & lakes, open pastures, very laid back - no pressure, yummy fresh CA fruits & veggies from the local farmers market and lots of friendly people. There's no hurry up and wait... here! And you don't feel that claustrophobic feeling like you do in SW England, SF, San Jose & LA! Just a thought :-).

I can totally sympathize with you. I immigrated to England but missed Southern CA so much that we moved back and now my English hubby has immigrated here to Northern CA due to his job location. You'll always miss where you grew up. I'm from the beach cities of Southern California and that is home, you never get rid of that special feeling in your heart of home. After living here in Northern CA I wouldn't want to move back to Southern CA eventhough family and friends do live there. But hey you make the most of where ever you end up.

Feel free to pm me.

Warmly,
Cali

DarrenP

Thanks Caligirl. I was actually not *that* far from you today in Los Gatos having a job interview. (didn't really want to go but a friend has been bugging me to come and work with him for a while). It's pretty nice around there and laid back, and all very pleasent. But when they started talking about the project taking 2 years it just filled me with dread. It comes back to what you were saying about that intangible feeling of 'home' yes, but I think it's a little more than that for me. I don't have family here. Recently at Easter on the friday afternoon at work, everybody was talking about what they had planned for the Easter weekend, and it was all 'bbq's with the folks etc etc'. I just sat there and felt incredibly far away from anyone I really care about. I know blokes are meant to be tough and all that but I honestly felt like shedding a tear. Really pathetic. Isolation I suppose. I didn't feel it 6 years ago when I moved here, I didn't even feel it 4 years ago, but I sure as hell do now. And I don't want to feel this way in another 5 years. I'm in my mid thirties and I want to settle down. I see the torment that people with foreign partners go through on this board (not everybody I stress. But for obvious reasons it isn't easy and can be the cause of much heartache), and I just think having a British wife and making the decision to go back now and seek that out is something worth considering. Sort of cutting my losses and running now before I get too stuck here! (and I don't mean that in a derogatory way. There is plenty to like about here). Ack, I dunno! maybe I'm crazy?!

DarrenP

Cool, thanks TrishB!

ladylisa

I know where your coming from, my hubby is shortly to go on two business trips each lasting about 9 days, (both of them to the UK!!) it suddenly hit me today that when he's gone I'm all alone. Not that I'm feeling sorry for myself but it really highlighted how much I have become a sort of recluse. In the UK I have loads of friends and family but here I feel like I haven't got that kind of life that I once had. Its my own fault, I dont truly connect with people like I want, so I dont. I know there are people here that will say that if I move back my Uk friends will have moved on and to be honest they may be right but I know that because I feel more centered there I will make more of an effort anyway. Home makes me feel more like myself.

SCOTTISH MARK 2

Different perceptions at different times in your life.

I went back a few years ago from Oz and noticed everything
and everyone was grey and thought "no one does anything
here"... 2 years later I just noticed how friendly everyone was,
all busy getting on with their lives.

Some of the Uk can be a bit bleak but once you get out into the
countryside it's beautiful and there's plenty to do if you make
the effort. Think of all those lovely cheap flights and the pubs

Maybe you have to accept there's a timeframe for being
overseas and then it's time to go home.

Nothing to say you can't go and live somewhere else in a
few years if you fancy

simongb

I can relate to you. I am alone, on the east coast, and at holiday times I feel the same. Everyone at work goes places with their partners, kids, parents etc and I don't. I realised the other day, and this was big for me, that I haven't met anyone because I don't want to be trapped here. When I really thought about it, I couldn't see myself meeting someone and settling down here. I have been in a kind of limbo for so long, but now I see my reasons behind it. I am 38 and really want to settle down. I have some good friends here, great friends actually, but they all have their own lives and their own families and their lives are moving on. I have a good career and great prospects here. I am nervous about giving that up, I have worked so hard to pull myself up the ladder. For me, to return to England, will be a big step backwards (I think). I do plan to return to the UK in 2007 (next summer). I have started to work on my house and do it up in preparation for selling it next year. It feels weird, sad and exciting at the same time. I want to move soon because I can't see me getting old here and I don't want to move when I'm 50! I think it gets harder to move as you get older.

Always21

Don't worry, you're not crazy! I moved to the US at 20 and thought it was absolute paradise. I had trouble adjusting to everything (remember in my first week before I had a car or cellphone, being stranded at the side of a bleak, fast road, in 100 degree heat, trying to figure out how to make a collect call on a payphone to get somebody to come and pick me up) and was unemployed for months which left me depressed, but like you I never really felt homesickness for the first three years. Feelings change. For me it was my in-laws' separation and having kids that did it. MIL has abandoned us for a boyfriend in Arkansas, so I HAVE to get my boys to the UK where they will have grandparents AND cousins around all the time.

Fortunately, my wonderful wife is prepared to leave her homeland and come with us. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones in that regard.

Always21

Me too! Not that I stay in the house all the time (I'm loving all the spring events downtown at the moment) but apart from people at work and my wife's family every now and then, the only people I interact with are my wife and the boys. I have nobody else here. Nobody to visit or meet up with. IIRC, I sort of enjoyed that to begin with. I remember my mum's family being quite frustrating, being vocal about what they didn't like at my various cousins' weddings, etc, and I was quite happy that I was over here away from it all and that they wouldn't be at my wedding. However, five years later it really doesn't feel that good any more. I'd love to be around all the family again, especially when I'm missing things like my grandmother's 80th birthday when she had all but two (our two) of her 13 or 14 great grandchildren around her at the same time.

I just hope my wife doesn't end up feeling like this in the UK. My family will try to take care of her but I know that's not the same. She's better than me at making friends though so hopefully she can establish a new circle, unlike me here!

Lizzi

Hand up for recluse here too! I sometimes feel like I'm doing time in solitary, although I have loads of friends (but not friends in the Uk sense) I feel quite isolated, and dare I say, have come to enjoy it like that.

Hutch

Another possibilty. I note from your profile that you were freelance before working for EA - would you consider returning to do the same? If not purely in illustration/3D design/modelling etc, perhaps in jouranlism? Someone with your experience would have no trouble whatsoever lining up work with the specialist 3D and graphic design magazines here, such as 3D World and Computer Arts.