Internet relationship--wanting to marry
Mar 18th 2007, 3:19 pm
#76
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: NW Chicago suburbs
Posts: 11,253
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
Now a local one would scare me...
You think you know someone well by chatting to them for a long time...he was a bit pompus...always right you know the sort.. but I never thought he was that odd ...others saw it before me...but I was kind and found it hard to drop him until I found out he was so called' in love 'with me....then I just left the group for a few years...and had to read all the crap he was writing about me on public boards for the next 2 years...went back kicked his ass online....and he stopped....I still keep an eye on him....and just say hi to keep him happy every few months if my name comes up....but I think its near enough over now....
You think you know someone well by chatting to them for a long time...he was a bit pompus...always right you know the sort.. but I never thought he was that odd ...others saw it before me...but I was kind and found it hard to drop him until I found out he was so called' in love 'with me....then I just left the group for a few years...and had to read all the crap he was writing about me on public boards for the next 2 years...went back kicked his ass online....and he stopped....I still keep an eye on him....and just say hi to keep him happy every few months if my name comes up....but I think its near enough over now....
Mar 18th 2007, 3:21 pm
#77
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 43
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
Now a local one would scare me...
You think you know someone well by chatting to them for a long time...he was a bit pompus...always right you know the sort.. but I never thought he was that odd ...others saw it before me...but I was kind and found it hard to drop him until I found out he was so called' in love 'with me....then I just left the group for a few years...and had to read all the crap he was writing about me on public boards for the next 2 years...went back kicked his ass online....and he stopped....I still keep an eye on him....and just say hi to keep him happy every few months if my name comes up....but I think its near enough over now....
You think you know someone well by chatting to them for a long time...he was a bit pompus...always right you know the sort.. but I never thought he was that odd ...others saw it before me...but I was kind and found it hard to drop him until I found out he was so called' in love 'with me....then I just left the group for a few years...and had to read all the crap he was writing about me on public boards for the next 2 years...went back kicked his ass online....and he stopped....I still keep an eye on him....and just say hi to keep him happy every few months if my name comes up....but I think its near enough over now....
Mar 18th 2007, 3:23 pm
#78
MODERATOR
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 58,679
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
I must say, the majority of people on here have been very helpful and informative. I would welcome any stories of personal experiences....especially from guys attempting to come to Kentucky from the UK, however, i'd still enjoy hearing any story, especially positive ones...
I guess you've already looked at the Affidavit of Support (form I-864), since you knew that you meet the 125% income level. But read more about it on the www.uscis.gov website. You've only known this guy on line for several months, never met in person, never spent time together in real life. Do you really want to commit to being his financial sponsor without knowing him better? If you get married and things don't work out, you could end up being his financial sponsor for a very long time. Divorce does not end your obligations to him as his sponsor.
Rene
Mar 18th 2007, 3:26 pm
#79
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 43
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
Kiss,
I guess you've already looked at the Affidavit of Support (form I-864), since you knew that you meet the 125% income level. But read more about it on the www.uscis.gov website. You've only known this guy on line for several months, never met in person, never spent time together in real life. Do you really want to commit to being his financial sponsor without knowing him better? If you get married and things don't work out, you could end up being his financial sponsor for a very long time. Divorce does not end your obligations to him as his sponsor.
Rene
I guess you've already looked at the Affidavit of Support (form I-864), since you knew that you meet the 125% income level. But read more about it on the www.uscis.gov website. You've only known this guy on line for several months, never met in person, never spent time together in real life. Do you really want to commit to being his financial sponsor without knowing him better? If you get married and things don't work out, you could end up being his financial sponsor for a very long time. Divorce does not end your obligations to him as his sponsor.
Rene
Mar 18th 2007, 3:27 pm
#80
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: NW Chicago suburbs
Posts: 11,253
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
Well, i know that each and every situation is different, however, i still believe that there are SOME good people left in the world today, no matter where they are from. Just so happens that the man i want is halfway across the world at the moment..lol. But at this point, it's a bit late to turn back the clock now..what's done has been done. Fact: he did quit his job, Fact: he did give notice on his flat, Fact: He did buy a plane ticket for a 90 day stay and will be here (god, please!) in less than three weeks now...so all i can do now is hope and pray!
Of course, you cannot change the past. I hope he is able to clear immigration ok and you do meet. He just should have whatever proof he can of ties to the UK, and say things (hopefully true) to convince them that he will return at the end of his stay.
Let us know how it goes, and I hope he does turn out to be just what you want. And you for him.
Best of luck
Mar 18th 2007, 3:32 pm
#81
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Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 43
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
Oh we're not saying everyone is bad, just happened to remind us of some experiences. I met someone essentially the way you did, and I think he's terrific, and just what I thought he'd be like and more! Just, one does have to be careful, having had the opposite experience also.
Of course, you cannot change the past. I hope he is able to clear immigration ok and you do meet. He just should have whatever proof he can of ties to the UK, and say things (hopefully true) to convince them that he will return at the end of his stay.
Let us know how it goes, and I hope he does turn out to be just what you want. And you for him.
Best of luck
Of course, you cannot change the past. I hope he is able to clear immigration ok and you do meet. He just should have whatever proof he can of ties to the UK, and say things (hopefully true) to convince them that he will return at the end of his stay.
Let us know how it goes, and I hope he does turn out to be just what you want. And you for him.
Best of luck
Mar 18th 2007, 3:40 pm
#82
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: NW Chicago suburbs
Posts: 11,253
Mar 18th 2007, 3:42 pm
#83
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Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 43
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
lol yes, that's very true....i've been reading over 300 pages...only 1800+ to go..lol. Which is why i was confused about a lot of things...lots of mixed experiences...
Mar 18th 2007, 4:05 pm
#84
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
On Sun, 18 Mar 2007 14:45:28 +0000, Noorah101
<[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Well yes, they could marry while he was over here. They weren't
>> initially planning on him returning home though.
>>
>> Our lawyer told us K-1 was the better choice, they sometimes found it
>> presumtous for couples to go ahead and marry. Not that it doesn't
>> work of course.
>
>Kiss,
>
>You might want to read this link which describes the stipulations of
>using the VWP:
>http://www.cbp.gov/xp/cgov/travel/id...us/vwp/vwp.xml
And besides the basic illegality of the whole thing, another thing to
consider is that he will NOT be able to work (legally, of course)
while he is waiting for AOS, and that's going to be probably an
absolute minimum of six months, based on our recent experience (and
probably longer, since the whole thing is going to look fishy). Since
money is evidently an issue, how is it going to be, supporting someone
for six months, when he cannot contribute in any substantive way to
the household, and is going to have far too much time on his hands.
If he's working in the UK, then he's going to have to quit his job to
do this, and if he's not, he'll lose any UK benefits that he's
receiving now. It's not a great idea to begin a marriage with
financial stress, along with all of the other things that are
difficult about adjusting to a new country.
If he comes here, it all looks good, and then he applies for the K-1,
he will probably be able to file to work when he enters the U.S. on
the visa (I've forgotten the form now), and that will speed up that
whole process.
<[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Well yes, they could marry while he was over here. They weren't
>> initially planning on him returning home though.
>>
>> Our lawyer told us K-1 was the better choice, they sometimes found it
>> presumtous for couples to go ahead and marry. Not that it doesn't
>> work of course.
>
>Kiss,
>
>You might want to read this link which describes the stipulations of
>using the VWP:
>http://www.cbp.gov/xp/cgov/travel/id...us/vwp/vwp.xml
And besides the basic illegality of the whole thing, another thing to
consider is that he will NOT be able to work (legally, of course)
while he is waiting for AOS, and that's going to be probably an
absolute minimum of six months, based on our recent experience (and
probably longer, since the whole thing is going to look fishy). Since
money is evidently an issue, how is it going to be, supporting someone
for six months, when he cannot contribute in any substantive way to
the household, and is going to have far too much time on his hands.
If he's working in the UK, then he's going to have to quit his job to
do this, and if he's not, he'll lose any UK benefits that he's
receiving now. It's not a great idea to begin a marriage with
financial stress, along with all of the other things that are
difficult about adjusting to a new country.
If he comes here, it all looks good, and then he applies for the K-1,
he will probably be able to file to work when he enters the U.S. on
the visa (I've forgotten the form now), and that will speed up that
whole process.
Mar 18th 2007, 4:09 pm
#85
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 43
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
On Sun, 18 Mar 2007 14:45:28 +0000, Noorah101
<[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Well yes, they could marry while he was over here. They weren't
>> initially planning on him returning home though.
>>
>> Our lawyer told us K-1 was the better choice, they sometimes found it
>> presumtous for couples to go ahead and marry. Not that it doesn't
>> work of course.
>
>Kiss,
>
>You might want to read this link which describes the stipulations of
>using the VWP:
>http://www.cbp.gov/xp/cgov/travel/id...us/vwp/vwp.xml
And besides the basic illegality of the whole thing, another thing to
consider is that he will NOT be able to work (legally, of course)
while he is waiting for AOS, and that's going to be probably an
absolute minimum of six months, based on our recent experience (and
probably longer, since the whole thing is going to look fishy). Since
money is evidently an issue, how is it going to be, supporting someone
for six months, when he cannot contribute in any substantive way to
the household, and is going to have far too much time on his hands.
If he's working in the UK, then he's going to have to quit his job to
do this, and if he's not, he'll lose any UK benefits that he's
receiving now. It's not a great idea to begin a marriage with
financial stress, along with all of the other things that are
difficult about adjusting to a new country.
If he comes here, it all looks good, and then he applies for the K-1,
he will probably be able to file to work when he enters the U.S. on
the visa (I've forgotten the form now), and that will speed up that
whole process.
<[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Well yes, they could marry while he was over here. They weren't
>> initially planning on him returning home though.
>>
>> Our lawyer told us K-1 was the better choice, they sometimes found it
>> presumtous for couples to go ahead and marry. Not that it doesn't
>> work of course.
>
>Kiss,
>
>You might want to read this link which describes the stipulations of
>using the VWP:
>http://www.cbp.gov/xp/cgov/travel/id...us/vwp/vwp.xml
And besides the basic illegality of the whole thing, another thing to
consider is that he will NOT be able to work (legally, of course)
while he is waiting for AOS, and that's going to be probably an
absolute minimum of six months, based on our recent experience (and
probably longer, since the whole thing is going to look fishy). Since
money is evidently an issue, how is it going to be, supporting someone
for six months, when he cannot contribute in any substantive way to
the household, and is going to have far too much time on his hands.
If he's working in the UK, then he's going to have to quit his job to
do this, and if he's not, he'll lose any UK benefits that he's
receiving now. It's not a great idea to begin a marriage with
financial stress, along with all of the other things that are
difficult about adjusting to a new country.
If he comes here, it all looks good, and then he applies for the K-1,
he will probably be able to file to work when he enters the U.S. on
the visa (I've forgotten the form now), and that will speed up that
whole process.
Mar 18th 2007, 4:11 pm
#86
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 2,212
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
On Sun, 18 Mar 2007 14:45:28 +0000, Noorah101
<[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Well yes, they could marry while he was over here. They weren't
>> initially planning on him returning home though.
>>
>> Our lawyer told us K-1 was the better choice, they sometimes found it
>> presumtous for couples to go ahead and marry. Not that it doesn't
>> work of course.
>
>Kiss,
>
>You might want to read this link which describes the stipulations of
>using the VWP:
>http://www.cbp.gov/xp/cgov/travel/id...us/vwp/vwp.xml
And besides the basic illegality of the whole thing, another thing to
consider is that he will NOT be able to work (legally, of course)
while he is waiting for AOS, and that's going to be probably an
absolute minimum of six months, based on our recent experience (and
probably longer, since the whole thing is going to look fishy). Since
money is evidently an issue, how is it going to be, supporting someone
for six months, when he cannot contribute in any substantive way to
the household, and is going to have far too much time on his hands.
If he's working in the UK, then he's going to have to quit his job to
do this, and if he's not, he'll lose any UK benefits that he's
receiving now. It's not a great idea to begin a marriage with
financial stress, along with all of the other things that are
difficult about adjusting to a new country.
If he comes here, it all looks good, and then he applies for the K-1,
he will probably be able to file to work when he enters the U.S. on
the visa (I've forgotten the form now), and that will speed up that
whole process.
<[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Well yes, they could marry while he was over here. They weren't
>> initially planning on him returning home though.
>>
>> Our lawyer told us K-1 was the better choice, they sometimes found it
>> presumtous for couples to go ahead and marry. Not that it doesn't
>> work of course.
>
>Kiss,
>
>You might want to read this link which describes the stipulations of
>using the VWP:
>http://www.cbp.gov/xp/cgov/travel/id...us/vwp/vwp.xml
And besides the basic illegality of the whole thing, another thing to
consider is that he will NOT be able to work (legally, of course)
while he is waiting for AOS, and that's going to be probably an
absolute minimum of six months, based on our recent experience (and
probably longer, since the whole thing is going to look fishy). Since
money is evidently an issue, how is it going to be, supporting someone
for six months, when he cannot contribute in any substantive way to
the household, and is going to have far too much time on his hands.
If he's working in the UK, then he's going to have to quit his job to
do this, and if he's not, he'll lose any UK benefits that he's
receiving now. It's not a great idea to begin a marriage with
financial stress, along with all of the other things that are
difficult about adjusting to a new country.
If he comes here, it all looks good, and then he applies for the K-1,
he will probably be able to file to work when he enters the U.S. on
the visa (I've forgotten the form now), and that will speed up that
whole process.
ALthough not advisable even to work under the table whilst the visa is being processed.
Mar 18th 2007, 4:13 pm
#87
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: NW Chicago suburbs
Posts: 11,253
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
On Sun, 18 Mar 2007 14:45:28 +0000, Noorah101
<[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Well yes, they could marry while he was over here. They weren't
>> initially planning on him returning home though.
>>
>> Our lawyer told us K-1 was the better choice, they sometimes found it
>> presumtous for couples to go ahead and marry. Not that it doesn't
>> work of course.
>
>Kiss,
>
>You might want to read this link which describes the stipulations of
>using the VWP:
>http://www.cbp.gov/xp/cgov/travel/id...us/vwp/vwp.xml
And besides the basic illegality of the whole thing, another thing to
consider is that he will NOT be able to work (legally, of course)
while he is waiting for AOS, and that's going to be probably an
absolute minimum of six months, based on our recent experience (and
probably longer, since the whole thing is going to look fishy). Since
money is evidently an issue, how is it going to be, supporting someone
for six months, when he cannot contribute in any substantive way to
the household, and is going to have far too much time on his hands.
If he's working in the UK, then he's going to have to quit his job to
do this, and if he's not, he'll lose any UK benefits that he's
receiving now. It's not a great idea to begin a marriage with
financial stress, along with all of the other things that are
difficult about adjusting to a new country.
If he comes here, it all looks good, and then he applies for the K-1,
he will probably be able to file to work when he enters the U.S. on
the visa (I've forgotten the form now), and that will speed up that
whole process.
<[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Well yes, they could marry while he was over here. They weren't
>> initially planning on him returning home though.
>>
>> Our lawyer told us K-1 was the better choice, they sometimes found it
>> presumtous for couples to go ahead and marry. Not that it doesn't
>> work of course.
>
>Kiss,
>
>You might want to read this link which describes the stipulations of
>using the VWP:
>http://www.cbp.gov/xp/cgov/travel/id...us/vwp/vwp.xml
And besides the basic illegality of the whole thing, another thing to
consider is that he will NOT be able to work (legally, of course)
while he is waiting for AOS, and that's going to be probably an
absolute minimum of six months, based on our recent experience (and
probably longer, since the whole thing is going to look fishy). Since
money is evidently an issue, how is it going to be, supporting someone
for six months, when he cannot contribute in any substantive way to
the household, and is going to have far too much time on his hands.
If he's working in the UK, then he's going to have to quit his job to
do this, and if he's not, he'll lose any UK benefits that he's
receiving now. It's not a great idea to begin a marriage with
financial stress, along with all of the other things that are
difficult about adjusting to a new country.
If he comes here, it all looks good, and then he applies for the K-1,
he will probably be able to file to work when he enters the U.S. on
the visa (I've forgotten the form now), and that will speed up that
whole process.
He MIGHT get a stamp upon entry allowing him to work for 90 days.
After that, after marriage, he applies for permission to work. That likely will not arrive before the 90 days are up, and there will be a gap in work authorization.
Also, have you thought about health insurance? I don't know how old you two are, but it could be an issue.
Mar 18th 2007, 4:14 pm
#88
MODERATOR
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 58,679
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
And besides the basic illegality of the whole thing, another thing to
consider is that he will NOT be able to work (legally, of course)
while he is waiting for AOS, and that's going to be probably an
absolute minimum of six months, based on our recent experience (and
probably longer, since the whole thing is going to look fishy). Since
money is evidently an issue, how is it going to be, supporting someone
for six months, when he cannot contribute in any substantive way to
the household, and is going to have far too much time on his hands.
consider is that he will NOT be able to work (legally, of course)
while he is waiting for AOS, and that's going to be probably an
absolute minimum of six months, based on our recent experience (and
probably longer, since the whole thing is going to look fishy). Since
money is evidently an issue, how is it going to be, supporting someone
for six months, when he cannot contribute in any substantive way to
the household, and is going to have far too much time on his hands.
If he's working in the UK, then he's going to have to quit his job to
do this, and if he's not, he'll lose any UK benefits that he's
receiving now. It's not a great idea to begin a marriage with
financial stress, along with all of the other things that are
difficult about adjusting to a new country.
do this, and if he's not, he'll lose any UK benefits that he's
receiving now. It's not a great idea to begin a marriage with
financial stress, along with all of the other things that are
difficult about adjusting to a new country.
If he comes here, it all looks good, and then he applies for the K-1,
he will probably be able to file to work when he enters the U.S. on
the visa (I've forgotten the form now), and that will speed up that
whole process.
he will probably be able to file to work when he enters the U.S. on
the visa (I've forgotten the form now), and that will speed up that
whole process.
Rene
Mar 18th 2007, 4:20 pm
#89
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 43
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
Actually, it's not quite that simple - entering on a K-1 and working immediately. There are a bunch of threads on it - but basically..
He MIGHT get a stamp upon entry allowing him to work for 90 days.
After that, after marriage, he applies for permission to work. That likely will not arrive before the 90 days are up, and there will be a gap in work authorization.
Also, have you thought about health insurance? I don't know how old you two are, but it could be an issue.
He MIGHT get a stamp upon entry allowing him to work for 90 days.
After that, after marriage, he applies for permission to work. That likely will not arrive before the 90 days are up, and there will be a gap in work authorization.
Also, have you thought about health insurance? I don't know how old you two are, but it could be an issue.
Mar 18th 2007, 4:24 pm
#90
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 2,212
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
as he is coming over on "holiday" travel insurance would be a recommendation to cover his "initial" stay. After that if u have health insurance see if it will cover the spouse.
Do not let him work under no circumstances even for cash in hand. Gets caught he is on the next flight out.
Financial hardship is a bummer but were all wanting to win the lottery aint we?
Do not let him work under no circumstances even for cash in hand. Gets caught he is on the next flight out.
Financial hardship is a bummer but were all wanting to win the lottery aint we?