Internet relationship--wanting to marry
Mar 17th 2007, 5:40 pm
#31
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Location: Richmond, VA, USA
Posts: 4,316
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
People usually say this because they know that they ARE being dishonest, or are about to be, no matter how they try to spin it.
Under that logic, then people don't need to bother with auto insurance, even if it's required by law. There are lots of people who drive cars that aren't covered by insurance and nothing ever happens to them, so you might as well save your money since everything will probably be ok for you, too, right?
Only it would really suck if you happened to get pulled over for some reason and the cop asks for your proof of insurance. Or worse, if you were in an accident and really needed that insurance coverage. But hey, at least you saved yourself a few bucks, right?
Immigration is not the time to be frugal. This is a life-changing event that you don't want to screw up by being cheap. Especially when you apparently make "more than above the 125% poverty line."
Your story and ours is nearly identical. US/UK couple, met online, did the online thing for 7 months before being able to meet. Mark (UK) had never been to the States before; it was only his second time outside of England (he went to France for a two-day school trip once). He quit his job two weeks before coming to the States on the VWP to finally meet and visit me. We were so convinced we would end up getting married that we researched US immigration prior to Mark arriving, etc. We were even around your age (early 30s -- I'm assuming you're 31 or 32 based on your username).
However, unlike you I did NOT make over the 125% minimum income required to sponsor the K1 visa. I only got one week of paid vacation annually, which I used during his month-long visit to the States. Given this and the fact that he had no job to return to, no house to sell, etc, it would have been extremely easy for him just to stay, get married, and apply for permanent residency. But we didn't do that. That's because even though we were dying to be together, doing things legally was more important to us almost anything else. The last thing we wanted to do was risk jeopardizing his immigration efforts.
So he went back to the UK and we started the K1 process. I quit my low-paying (but well-liked) job and got a much higher-paying (but hated) job to meet the financial requirements. Five months later he had his K1 visa in hand. That was 4 years ago next week; we are now just about to send in his naturalization application. To date, we have had (knock wood!) no problems immigration-wise, and have handled the stresses it can present extremely well. I feel that's due in large part to the fact that we learned from the very get-go how to be patient and thorough with the process, starting with the I-129F petition.
~ Jenney
...i just think the money would be better spent paying for all the filing fees and such, i'm not trying to be difficult, just frugal, i suppose (call it what you will..lol). But as i've read on here countless times, whether legal in the eyes of immigration or not, the fact is that it would appear that people do it everday and seem to have no issues with doing so.
Only it would really suck if you happened to get pulled over for some reason and the cop asks for your proof of insurance. Or worse, if you were in an accident and really needed that insurance coverage. But hey, at least you saved yourself a few bucks, right?
Immigration is not the time to be frugal. This is a life-changing event that you don't want to screw up by being cheap. Especially when you apparently make "more than above the 125% poverty line."
lol i mean, perhaps other have and endless supply of money, not to mention vacation time to forge these long distance relationships, however, i do not..lol.
However, unlike you I did NOT make over the 125% minimum income required to sponsor the K1 visa. I only got one week of paid vacation annually, which I used during his month-long visit to the States. Given this and the fact that he had no job to return to, no house to sell, etc, it would have been extremely easy for him just to stay, get married, and apply for permanent residency. But we didn't do that. That's because even though we were dying to be together, doing things legally was more important to us almost anything else. The last thing we wanted to do was risk jeopardizing his immigration efforts.
So he went back to the UK and we started the K1 process. I quit my low-paying (but well-liked) job and got a much higher-paying (but hated) job to meet the financial requirements. Five months later he had his K1 visa in hand. That was 4 years ago next week; we are now just about to send in his naturalization application. To date, we have had (knock wood!) no problems immigration-wise, and have handled the stresses it can present extremely well. I feel that's due in large part to the fact that we learned from the very get-go how to be patient and thorough with the process, starting with the I-129F petition.
~ Jenney
Last edited by Just Jenney; Mar 17th 2007 at 5:43 pm. Reason: Correct a typo
Mar 17th 2007, 5:40 pm
#32
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Mother Land.
Posts: 14,858
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
Yes, it will be his first trip to the USA, or for anywhere outside of England for that matter. But if he said he was coming for holiday, to see NY, Disneyworld, etc, and that he has a friend that lives in Kentucky, why couldn't someone do that, especially a guy, just because he wants to?
marry in 2000 in England, moved over here June 02 and now moving back this October.
Mar 17th 2007, 5:44 pm
#33
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 43
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
That is exactly what my husband did he came to visit me. I think the issue people are having is that you are saying in advance that you plan on getting married and then having him stay. I did get married this way and my husband did stay in the USA but we did not plan on doing things that way it just happened. I was never questioned by the INS or anything but I can only speak for myself.
Mar 17th 2007, 5:50 pm
#34
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 25
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
He had just graduated from college he lived with his parents so no he did not have any loose ends well apart from student loans he still has not paid back. He came about 2 weeks after he graduated and he did not have a job yet. Oh and yes he did stay.
Mar 17th 2007, 5:53 pm
#35
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Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
How long did he intend to stay for and how long did you wait until you got married?
Mar 17th 2007, 5:57 pm
#37
Septicity
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 23,762
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
You didn't invent the crazy system but you have to endure it. IMO, everyone should find their best route for their circumstances. Some routes are more clearcut than others.
Mar 17th 2007, 5:59 pm
#38
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Posts: 25
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
He only came at first for 2 weeks he then called the airline and changed his ticket to give him another six weeks we ended up getting married after he had been in the USA for a month. I meet my husband from when I did a semester of college in England we never thought we would get married at that time it just happened I will also say it caused a lot of issues in with our families being hurt betrayed the whole thing because we eloped. We got married in 2000 so I don't know if things have changed.
Last edited by Macieo; Mar 17th 2007 at 6:02 pm.
Mar 17th 2007, 6:01 pm
#40
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Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
He only came at first for 2 weeks he then called the airline and changed his ticket changed to give him another six weeks we ended up getting married after he had been in the USA for a month. I meet my husband from when I did a semester of college in England we never thought we would get married at that time it just happened I will also say it caused a lot of issues in are families being hurt betrayed the whole thing because we eloped. We got married in 2000 so I don't know if things have changed.
Mar 17th 2007, 6:06 pm
#41
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Posts: 43
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
because.... because its america.
americans get one week holiday off a year. mr uk comes over for 3. first red flag.
second red flag. never been here before and comes first time for 3 months
third red flag. three months is the max that anyone can spend on a vwp.
fourth red flag. he is unemployed.
fifth red flag. he lives with relatives does not have his own place.
six red flag. he has a friend that lives in kentucky, a brit? or someone else he has never met before?
need i go on.???
seventh red flag. there are over 12 million illegals, including out of status in the USA. is he 12 million and 1?
eighth red flag. GC on marriage is easier than most other ways to get into this country and fastest.
ninth red flag. They turn away people every day at the airport because of red flags like i just said and i dont think u want him to be on the list that gets turned away do u?
i sent u a Pm.
something worries me tho, u have never met him. he might be lousy in bed? he might be a slob, he might have lots of "friends" he has never met. He might be aggressive. He might stink. he might be a looser. These things u cant see on the internet or over the phone.
I hope ur not paying for his plane ticket.
americans get one week holiday off a year. mr uk comes over for 3. first red flag.
second red flag. never been here before and comes first time for 3 months
third red flag. three months is the max that anyone can spend on a vwp.
fourth red flag. he is unemployed.
fifth red flag. he lives with relatives does not have his own place.
six red flag. he has a friend that lives in kentucky, a brit? or someone else he has never met before?
need i go on.???
seventh red flag. there are over 12 million illegals, including out of status in the USA. is he 12 million and 1?
eighth red flag. GC on marriage is easier than most other ways to get into this country and fastest.
ninth red flag. They turn away people every day at the airport because of red flags like i just said and i dont think u want him to be on the list that gets turned away do u?
i sent u a Pm.
something worries me tho, u have never met him. he might be lousy in bed? he might be a slob, he might have lots of "friends" he has never met. He might be aggressive. He might stink. he might be a looser. These things u cant see on the internet or over the phone.
I hope ur not paying for his plane ticket.
Mar 17th 2007, 6:17 pm
#42
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Posts: 535
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
I got married on the VWP & was not required to return to UK to await my visa. I was allowed to stay here on a "pending" status. I had been here before, visiting my husband, and on one long visit we visited INS to find out about applications etc. It was then I was told to go ahead, get married before my 90 days ran out etc. We got an immigration attorney, got married, bought a house etc & went from there.
I had been made redundant from my job shortly before all of this & had a nice payoff so didn't need to rush into work or anything & I already had my house on the market, so all I had to do was call my lawyer & estate agent in England and have them take care of everything.
The INS is also so used to people meeting on the internet now, at my marriage interview, the interviewer says she sees it daily. It didn't phase her that people only meet a few times before getting married but she did want to know that we'd met "at least once" (her words) BEFORE my 3 month visit.
That seemed quite important.
Of course, every case is different. My advice would be to meet & see how you both feel. I do understand how much you can know about someone in a long distance- heck, I talked to my husband for 4-5 hours a day on the phone for months & I knew a lot more about him than if we'd dated for a few months & met a few times a week for dinner etc - but I have heard many people say that meeting in person was different.
Mar 17th 2007, 6:35 pm
#43
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
On Sat, 17 Mar 2007 16:42:46 +0000, Noorah101
<[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Well, it's just that i've been reading over a lot of the posts on here
>> the past couple of days and i've heard both sides of the fence. I
>> hear others saying, "We got married while under the VWP and everything
>> is fine". I'm not some horrible law breaking person, not even so much
>> as a speeding ticket...i just want to know how things are likely to be
>> handled at the POE with the information i have provided, be it
>> ethically or legally to other's liking...i would just appreciate some
>> kind words of advice.
>
>Work out a Plan B in case he can't get into the USA. If he can't,
>then you go to the UK and visit him in person. If you still feel
>he's the one for you, come back to the USA and start a fiance visa
>petition for him.
>
>I think you will need a particular type of visa if you want to get
>married in the UK.
That's right; you do need a particular type of visa to get married in
the UK; I checked this out at one point, but I've forgotten the
details.
<[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Well, it's just that i've been reading over a lot of the posts on here
>> the past couple of days and i've heard both sides of the fence. I
>> hear others saying, "We got married while under the VWP and everything
>> is fine". I'm not some horrible law breaking person, not even so much
>> as a speeding ticket...i just want to know how things are likely to be
>> handled at the POE with the information i have provided, be it
>> ethically or legally to other's liking...i would just appreciate some
>> kind words of advice.
>
>Work out a Plan B in case he can't get into the USA. If he can't,
>then you go to the UK and visit him in person. If you still feel
>he's the one for you, come back to the USA and start a fiance visa
>petition for him.
>
>I think you will need a particular type of visa if you want to get
>married in the UK.
That's right; you do need a particular type of visa to get married in
the UK; I checked this out at one point, but I've forgotten the
details.
Mar 17th 2007, 7:05 pm
#44
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
On Sat, 17 Mar 2007 17:31:02 +0000, kissalicious1975
<[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Is this his first trip to the USA, and he is going to book his return
>> flight for 3 months down the road on his first trip. I think this
>> alone is going to put up some red flags when he enters.
>
>Yes, it will be his first trip to the USA, or for anywhere outside of
>England for that matter. But if he said he was coming for holiday, to
>see NY, Disneyworld, etc, and that he has a friend that lives in
>Kentucky, why couldn't someone do that, especially a guy, just because
>he wants to?
He can do that just because he wants to.
I seriously doubt that he will have any trouble at all entering the
US, unless there's something strange in his background that puts him
on a no-fly list or he does something truly weird when entering.
It may or may not be true that he will have trouble adjusting status
if you get married while he is here, and he just stays. It's a dice
roll, and it may also depend on your guy's background, as well.
If he visits and then goes back, it will take *maybe* 4-5 months or so
for the fiance visa paperwork, which is not a terribly long time, and
it *may* be less expensive to do it that way, if there are likely to
be any problems at all.
But just a piece of unsolicited but friendly advice based on
experience. You can spend months and months talking to people on the
phone, and the reality of being with them can be totally, completely
different. I know you think that you know what you want, and you may
well be completely right, and it will all work out wonderfully for
you. But on the other hand, it's also possible that after the first
flush of excitement wears off, the bloom may also be off the rose...
and people also misrepresent themselves in various ways over the
phone, both intentionally and unintentionally. Give yourselves some
time, and if you do get married while he's here, do it at the last
possible moment.
<[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Is this his first trip to the USA, and he is going to book his return
>> flight for 3 months down the road on his first trip. I think this
>> alone is going to put up some red flags when he enters.
>
>Yes, it will be his first trip to the USA, or for anywhere outside of
>England for that matter. But if he said he was coming for holiday, to
>see NY, Disneyworld, etc, and that he has a friend that lives in
>Kentucky, why couldn't someone do that, especially a guy, just because
>he wants to?
He can do that just because he wants to.
I seriously doubt that he will have any trouble at all entering the
US, unless there's something strange in his background that puts him
on a no-fly list or he does something truly weird when entering.
It may or may not be true that he will have trouble adjusting status
if you get married while he is here, and he just stays. It's a dice
roll, and it may also depend on your guy's background, as well.
If he visits and then goes back, it will take *maybe* 4-5 months or so
for the fiance visa paperwork, which is not a terribly long time, and
it *may* be less expensive to do it that way, if there are likely to
be any problems at all.
But just a piece of unsolicited but friendly advice based on
experience. You can spend months and months talking to people on the
phone, and the reality of being with them can be totally, completely
different. I know you think that you know what you want, and you may
well be completely right, and it will all work out wonderfully for
you. But on the other hand, it's also possible that after the first
flush of excitement wears off, the bloom may also be off the rose...
and people also misrepresent themselves in various ways over the
phone, both intentionally and unintentionally. Give yourselves some
time, and if you do get married while he's here, do it at the last
possible moment.
Mar 17th 2007, 7:06 pm
#45
SUPER MODERATOR
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 88,023
Re: Internet relationship--wanting to marry
Is Haggerwood paying off his student loans?