Horrible maternity leave
Jan 24th 2007, 2:09 pm
#271
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 15,455
Re: Horrible maternity leave
Good post SB.
Jan 24th 2007, 2:13 pm
#272
Homebody
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: HOME
Posts: 23,182
Re: Horrible maternity leave
OMFG.
BGT -- there's no way you and your wife will both find employers willing to let you work four-day weeks. To find one that will allow one of you to do it will be miraculous enough.
Paid maternity leave is budgeted for in the same way as other sick leave and vacation. If someone decides to forgo having kids, does that mean no one should take paid maternity leave? By that reasoning, those who take their full vacation entitlement are greedy bastards compared to those who don't feel the need to take a vacation.
Being pregnant, delivering, and recovering from the birth of my kids is the hardest thing I have ever done. No other illness or injury comes close. A charting error led to the nurses insisting that I hadn't lost blood.... until a routine test showed that I was in critical condition and needed an immediate blood transfusion. I had a hematocrit of 4.0 and couldn't walk. I didn't sue, despite having to stay in bed and rest for two more months past birth due to these complications. And I wasn't working then, so those two months weren't on anyone's else's tab.
I have been a part-time worker, a full-time worker, a stay-at-home mom, married, separated/divorced, remarried. Raising kids is far harder than working. Staying at home without an adult to talk to can drive you mad. Oh, and all the places at "mother's day out" were full while I was a stay-at-home. Currently I share custody with my ex-husband and work full-time while my husband stays home to study to get into a career that pays above poverty level wages. I work in a field that demands long hours and is male-dominated. I fought for four years to get back into my career after staying at home. My ex-husband sailed through since he'd been the one to keep the job. He makes twice as much as I do, for doing the same job, as a result.
To the OP: take as much time as you want to take. You'll never get this time back. You may be denied pay rises and promotions because you did it (I worked part-time for six months and was denied a pay rise/promotion for three years in retaliation and was explicitly told so long after the fact by a repentant ex-boss). In that case, get another job down the line. Plenty of guys get into car wrecks, or injure themselves at sports, or have massive coronaries, and have to take time away from work, and surprisingly, they aren't coerced into returning early. I wonder why?
If your marriage is so bad that you begrudge your spouse spending "your" money and the two of you can't agree on finances, then you don't have a marriage, you have a roommate. If you would be jealous if your wife didn't work and you had to, what are you going to think when 99.999% of her time energy and attention go to the baby and not you?
I knew chivalry had died out but I thought that Neanderthals had gone extinct as well.
BGT -- there's no way you and your wife will both find employers willing to let you work four-day weeks. To find one that will allow one of you to do it will be miraculous enough.
Paid maternity leave is budgeted for in the same way as other sick leave and vacation. If someone decides to forgo having kids, does that mean no one should take paid maternity leave? By that reasoning, those who take their full vacation entitlement are greedy bastards compared to those who don't feel the need to take a vacation.
Being pregnant, delivering, and recovering from the birth of my kids is the hardest thing I have ever done. No other illness or injury comes close. A charting error led to the nurses insisting that I hadn't lost blood.... until a routine test showed that I was in critical condition and needed an immediate blood transfusion. I had a hematocrit of 4.0 and couldn't walk. I didn't sue, despite having to stay in bed and rest for two more months past birth due to these complications. And I wasn't working then, so those two months weren't on anyone's else's tab.
I have been a part-time worker, a full-time worker, a stay-at-home mom, married, separated/divorced, remarried. Raising kids is far harder than working. Staying at home without an adult to talk to can drive you mad. Oh, and all the places at "mother's day out" were full while I was a stay-at-home. Currently I share custody with my ex-husband and work full-time while my husband stays home to study to get into a career that pays above poverty level wages. I work in a field that demands long hours and is male-dominated. I fought for four years to get back into my career after staying at home. My ex-husband sailed through since he'd been the one to keep the job. He makes twice as much as I do, for doing the same job, as a result.
To the OP: take as much time as you want to take. You'll never get this time back. You may be denied pay rises and promotions because you did it (I worked part-time for six months and was denied a pay rise/promotion for three years in retaliation and was explicitly told so long after the fact by a repentant ex-boss). In that case, get another job down the line. Plenty of guys get into car wrecks, or injure themselves at sports, or have massive coronaries, and have to take time away from work, and surprisingly, they aren't coerced into returning early. I wonder why?
If your marriage is so bad that you begrudge your spouse spending "your" money and the two of you can't agree on finances, then you don't have a marriage, you have a roommate. If you would be jealous if your wife didn't work and you had to, what are you going to think when 99.999% of her time energy and attention go to the baby and not you?
I knew chivalry had died out but I thought that Neanderthals had gone extinct as well.
Jan 24th 2007, 2:25 pm
#273
Bugger Off!
Joined: Sep 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,858
Re: Horrible maternity leave
Secondly - you really wouldn't claim child benefit in the UK if you had kids? Despite the fact that it is not charity or unearned, but rather a benefit that everyone, regardless of social position or income is entitled to because you would only be taking back some of what you may have paid in? (I find this hard to believe. Not having kids though you can't be sure. I rather think your attitude would become that of - why should everyone else get it and not me!!?!??)
Finally (yes, this is three points, one more than a couple) do you really relish the idea of living in a society that does not care for others and therefore itself? Hope these wild philosophical musings are not too existential for you mate. Does the term 'caring society' make you shiver inside? Because guess what, societies that care only for the individual are not viable. A society is like a living thing, like the human body that must take care of itself, even the unimportant parts that don't seem to do much. I believe, and this is just me, silly naive little me, that it is the duty of the strong to take care of the weak. My grandfather thought the same when he lost a leg fighting in WW2.
Margaret Thatcher famously said 'there is no such thing a society' and look what happened there; British Steel, British Coal, and the British shipbuilding industry all pretty much died out, cutting our industrial base to the bone (so not too great for business after all). But that was okay so long as a small group of billionaires made good. There is such a thing as society and we are all dependant on each other as our children depend on us. I think your attitude sucks to be honest but, and I am sorry if I have bored you with this, at least I had the decency to dignify your comment with a reply. Hope this helps.
Jan 24th 2007, 2:36 pm
#274
WTF?
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Homeostasis
Posts: 79,430
Re: Horrible maternity leave
wow, speaking as someone who left home at 17 with nothing, one thing I can't be accused of is living in a fantasy world - I want to be able to give (in moderation) my children the opportunities I never had the chance of.
what would your opinion be if I told me wife I wanted to be the stay at home dad and she would be the one getting home after kids have gone to bed etc...
what would your opinion be if I told me wife I wanted to be the stay at home dad and she would be the one getting home after kids have gone to bed etc...
but never as the father of my child. The only situation I could refer to with any honesty was when my sister had graduated with her literary degree and her husband went on with his advanced degree (law degree from Cornell University). Effectively what happened was for the 4 years he pursued higher education he didn't work or bring any significant income into the household. She worked for a publishing house and he studied ... as a graduate he made his own (basically unpaid - I believe he was a TA which went toward payment of his exorbitant tuition) schedule and was able to bring their young son with him to work for 10-15 hours per week. He took the role of primary care-giver of their child for the most part - while she earned their living. She did most of the cooking and cleaning - he studied - and they shared in Matt's care. I remember during those years that she sometimes felt that she had to "apologize" for the fact that her husband didn't work. They lived in a tiny basement apartment yet gave my nephew a fantastic beginning to his life. For some reason my family always loved Mark (her husband) and had no doubt that he was doing more than his part - it never occurred to us to emasculate or degrade him for the choices he/they made. He was (and still is ) a fantastic father to their blind from birth son. We were so impressed by their drive and willingness to sacrifice everything for their future and the future of their child. Mark is now a high-powered corporate attorney, sister is still in publishing and Matt is at the top of his class at Vassar. 
So, in answer to your question, if it were the man staying home and the woman working .... my opinion wouldn't change.
Your posts made very pointed and cruel remarks with regard to women ... you seem to think that women think that squeezing out a baby is their free-ride ticket to bon-bons and soap operas - do you have any idea how bleeding boring it is to stay at home all day with screaming children? Did it ever occur to you that many women love to work? They get their identity and socialization from being in the work force? This is how they make friends and keep up with what is going on in the world? For many women staying at home is not the "gravy train" you would have us believe .... but rather a sacrifice. Many women love their jobs and their careers.... they just love their children more.
Jan 24th 2007, 2:42 pm
#275
WTF?
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Homeostasis
Posts: 79,430
Re: Horrible maternity leave
OMFG.
BGT -- there's no way you and your wife will both find employers willing to let you work four-day weeks. To find one that will allow one of you to do it will be miraculous enough.
Paid maternity leave is budgeted for in the same way as other sick leave and vacation. If someone decides to forgo having kids, does that mean no one should take paid maternity leave? By that reasoning, those who take their full vacation entitlement are greedy bastards compared to those who don't feel the need to take a vacation.
Being pregnant, delivering, and recovering from the birth of my kids is the hardest thing I have ever done. No other illness or injury comes close. A charting error led to the nurses insisting that I hadn't lost blood.... until a routine test showed that I was in critical condition and needed an immediate blood transfusion. I had a hematocrit of 4.0 and couldn't walk. I didn't sue, despite having to stay in bed and rest for two more months past birth due to these complications. And I wasn't working then, so those two months weren't on anyone's else's tab.
I have been a part-time worker, a full-time worker, a stay-at-home mom, married, separated/divorced, remarried. Raising kids is far harder than working. Staying at home without an adult to talk to can drive you mad. Oh, and all the places at "mother's day out" were full while I was a stay-at-home. Currently I share custody with my ex-husband and work full-time while my husband stays home to study to get into a career that pays above poverty level wages. I work in a field that demands long hours and is male-dominated. I fought for four years to get back into my career after staying at home. My ex-husband sailed through since he'd been the one to keep the job. He makes twice as much as I do, for doing the same job, as a result.
To the OP: take as much time as you want to take. You'll never get this time back. You may be denied pay rises and promotions because you did it (I worked part-time for six months and was denied a pay rise/promotion for three years in retaliation and was explicitly told so long after the fact by a repentant ex-boss). In that case, get another job down the line. Plenty of guys get into car wrecks, or injure themselves at sports, or have massive coronaries, and have to take time away from work, and surprisingly, they aren't coerced into returning early. I wonder why?
If your marriage is so bad that you begrudge your spouse spending "your" money and the two of you can't agree on finances, then you don't have a marriage, you have a roommate. If you would be jealous if your wife didn't work and you had to, what are you going to think when 99.999% of her time energy and attention go to the baby and not you?
I knew chivalry had died out but I thought that Neanderthals had gone extinct as well.
BGT -- there's no way you and your wife will both find employers willing to let you work four-day weeks. To find one that will allow one of you to do it will be miraculous enough.
Paid maternity leave is budgeted for in the same way as other sick leave and vacation. If someone decides to forgo having kids, does that mean no one should take paid maternity leave? By that reasoning, those who take their full vacation entitlement are greedy bastards compared to those who don't feel the need to take a vacation.
Being pregnant, delivering, and recovering from the birth of my kids is the hardest thing I have ever done. No other illness or injury comes close. A charting error led to the nurses insisting that I hadn't lost blood.... until a routine test showed that I was in critical condition and needed an immediate blood transfusion. I had a hematocrit of 4.0 and couldn't walk. I didn't sue, despite having to stay in bed and rest for two more months past birth due to these complications. And I wasn't working then, so those two months weren't on anyone's else's tab.
I have been a part-time worker, a full-time worker, a stay-at-home mom, married, separated/divorced, remarried. Raising kids is far harder than working. Staying at home without an adult to talk to can drive you mad. Oh, and all the places at "mother's day out" were full while I was a stay-at-home. Currently I share custody with my ex-husband and work full-time while my husband stays home to study to get into a career that pays above poverty level wages. I work in a field that demands long hours and is male-dominated. I fought for four years to get back into my career after staying at home. My ex-husband sailed through since he'd been the one to keep the job. He makes twice as much as I do, for doing the same job, as a result.
To the OP: take as much time as you want to take. You'll never get this time back. You may be denied pay rises and promotions because you did it (I worked part-time for six months and was denied a pay rise/promotion for three years in retaliation and was explicitly told so long after the fact by a repentant ex-boss). In that case, get another job down the line. Plenty of guys get into car wrecks, or injure themselves at sports, or have massive coronaries, and have to take time away from work, and surprisingly, they aren't coerced into returning early. I wonder why?
If your marriage is so bad that you begrudge your spouse spending "your" money and the two of you can't agree on finances, then you don't have a marriage, you have a roommate. If you would be jealous if your wife didn't work and you had to, what are you going to think when 99.999% of her time energy and attention go to the baby and not you?
I knew chivalry had died out but I thought that Neanderthals had gone extinct as well.
Jan 24th 2007, 3:06 pm
#276
WTF?
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Homeostasis
Posts: 79,430
Re: Horrible maternity leave
This thread has definitely shifted from the OP's original intent and for that I am sorry. 
I was chatting with a friend of mine earlier and he made a great point - why moralize about it all? Everybody's situation is different and we all do the best we can. Why on earth do we tear each other down?
I was chatting with a friend of mine earlier and he made a great point - why moralize about it all? Everybody's situation is different and we all do the best we can. Why on earth do we tear each other down?
Jan 24th 2007, 3:43 pm
#277
BE Site Lead
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: MA, USA
Posts: 92,174
Re: Horrible maternity leave
Wise words there Les...
Anyway....enough of the name calling, it's safe to say people are just going to have to disagree...but not having kids, you just can't imagine the difficulties involved, just like someone who hasn't lost anyone close can truly imagine the feeling of grief, they might have an inkling and think they might know from seeing a snippet of someone's life or tv, but they don't, you have to walk in their shoes.
Anyway....enough of the name calling, it's safe to say people are just going to have to disagree...but not having kids, you just can't imagine the difficulties involved, just like someone who hasn't lost anyone close can truly imagine the feeling of grief, they might have an inkling and think they might know from seeing a snippet of someone's life or tv, but they don't, you have to walk in their shoes.
Jan 24th 2007, 5:31 pm
#278
Maño-Americano
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: In the heart of the Ozarks
Posts: 10,216
Re: Horrible maternity leave
Jesus... another dilema. I grew up in IN pre-colts move from Baltimore, as a Beas fan. Since the Colts move, have rotted for both (as the Bears have sucked so bad for 20 yearsm it was easier to root for the Colts). So Now WTF do I do?
GO BEARS!
GO BEARS!
Jan 25th 2007, 2:04 am
#279
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 46,462
Re: Horrible maternity leave
That's a different nut to crack, Sally. The job does NOT have to be kept open but the returning mother must have a position to return to that is equal in status and money.
Jan 25th 2007, 2:04 am
#280
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 22,105
Re: Horrible maternity leave
OMFG.
BGT -- there's no way you and your wife will both find employers willing to let you work four-day weeks. To find one that will allow one of you to do it will be miraculous enough.
Paid maternity leave is budgeted for in the same way as other sick leave and vacation. If someone decides to forgo having kids, does that mean no one should take paid maternity leave? By that reasoning, those who take their full vacation entitlement are greedy bastards compared to those who don't feel the need to take a vacation.
Being pregnant, delivering, and recovering from the birth of my kids is the hardest thing I have ever done. No other illness or injury comes close. A charting error led to the nurses insisting that I hadn't lost blood.... until a routine test showed that I was in critical condition and needed an immediate blood transfusion. I had a hematocrit of 4.0 and couldn't walk. I didn't sue, despite having to stay in bed and rest for two more months past birth due to these complications. And I wasn't working then, so those two months weren't on anyone's else's tab.
I have been a part-time worker, a full-time worker, a stay-at-home mom, married, separated/divorced, remarried. Raising kids is far harder than working. Staying at home without an adult to talk to can drive you mad. Oh, and all the places at "mother's day out" were full while I was a stay-at-home. Currently I share custody with my ex-husband and work full-time while my husband stays home to study to get into a career that pays above poverty level wages. I work in a field that demands long hours and is male-dominated. I fought for four years to get back into my career after staying at home. My ex-husband sailed through since he'd been the one to keep the job. He makes twice as much as I do, for doing the same job, as a result.
To the OP: take as much time as you want to take. You'll never get this time back. You may be denied pay rises and promotions because you did it (I worked part-time for six months and was denied a pay rise/promotion for three years in retaliation and was explicitly told so long after the fact by a repentant ex-boss). In that case, get another job down the line. Plenty of guys get into car wrecks, or injure themselves at sports, or have massive coronaries, and have to take time away from work, and surprisingly, they aren't coerced into returning early. I wonder why?
If your marriage is so bad that you begrudge your spouse spending "your" money and the two of you can't agree on finances, then you don't have a marriage, you have a roommate. If you would be jealous if your wife didn't work and you had to, what are you going to think when 99.999% of her time energy and attention go to the baby and not you?
I knew chivalry had died out but I thought that Neanderthals had gone extinct as well.
BGT -- there's no way you and your wife will both find employers willing to let you work four-day weeks. To find one that will allow one of you to do it will be miraculous enough.
Paid maternity leave is budgeted for in the same way as other sick leave and vacation. If someone decides to forgo having kids, does that mean no one should take paid maternity leave? By that reasoning, those who take their full vacation entitlement are greedy bastards compared to those who don't feel the need to take a vacation.
Being pregnant, delivering, and recovering from the birth of my kids is the hardest thing I have ever done. No other illness or injury comes close. A charting error led to the nurses insisting that I hadn't lost blood.... until a routine test showed that I was in critical condition and needed an immediate blood transfusion. I had a hematocrit of 4.0 and couldn't walk. I didn't sue, despite having to stay in bed and rest for two more months past birth due to these complications. And I wasn't working then, so those two months weren't on anyone's else's tab.
I have been a part-time worker, a full-time worker, a stay-at-home mom, married, separated/divorced, remarried. Raising kids is far harder than working. Staying at home without an adult to talk to can drive you mad. Oh, and all the places at "mother's day out" were full while I was a stay-at-home. Currently I share custody with my ex-husband and work full-time while my husband stays home to study to get into a career that pays above poverty level wages. I work in a field that demands long hours and is male-dominated. I fought for four years to get back into my career after staying at home. My ex-husband sailed through since he'd been the one to keep the job. He makes twice as much as I do, for doing the same job, as a result.
To the OP: take as much time as you want to take. You'll never get this time back. You may be denied pay rises and promotions because you did it (I worked part-time for six months and was denied a pay rise/promotion for three years in retaliation and was explicitly told so long after the fact by a repentant ex-boss). In that case, get another job down the line. Plenty of guys get into car wrecks, or injure themselves at sports, or have massive coronaries, and have to take time away from work, and surprisingly, they aren't coerced into returning early. I wonder why?
If your marriage is so bad that you begrudge your spouse spending "your" money and the two of you can't agree on finances, then you don't have a marriage, you have a roommate. If you would be jealous if your wife didn't work and you had to, what are you going to think when 99.999% of her time energy and attention go to the baby and not you?
I knew chivalry had died out but I thought that Neanderthals had gone extinct as well.
Jan 25th 2007, 4:32 am
#281
Mr. Grumpy
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 3,100
Re: Horrible maternity leave
OMFG.
BGT -- there's no way you and your wife will both find employers willing to let you work four-day weeks. To find one that will allow one of you to do it will be miraculous enough.
If your marriage is so bad that you begrudge your spouse spending "your" money and the two of you can't agree on finances, then you don't have a marriage, you have a roommate. If you would be jealous if your wife didn't work and you had to, what are you going to think when 99.999% of her time energy and attention go to the baby and not you?.
BGT -- there's no way you and your wife will both find employers willing to let you work four-day weeks. To find one that will allow one of you to do it will be miraculous enough.
If your marriage is so bad that you begrudge your spouse spending "your" money and the two of you can't agree on finances, then you don't have a marriage, you have a roommate. If you would be jealous if your wife didn't work and you had to, what are you going to think when 99.999% of her time energy and attention go to the baby and not you?.
shes going into private practice at some point and I am working on a investment business (as well as my normal full time occupation)
our finances are great - we split the bills fairly and then we can do what we like - she can blow all her money at target and j crew if she wants (she doesn't) and I can put my money into my real estate business
i'd rather do this then be like some of our friends who hide expenditure from their spouses, like gambling/$250 designer jeans/strippers/tat from pottery barn
unfortunate fact of life is thats things cost and the money has to come from somewhere. People take different approaches to their careers - I started full time at 17 and she spent 8 years in college and law school. people gratuitously getting what they want just like that is not how my world works - things need to be worked for - the end result being that hopefully we can have a less stressful life in the long term... not just having stuff for the short term
Jan 25th 2007, 4:42 am
#282
Member
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Garden State
Posts: 280
Re: Horrible maternity leave
OMFG.
To the OP: take as much time as you want to take. You'll never get this time back. You may be denied pay rises and promotions because you did it (I worked part-time for six months and was denied a pay rise/promotion for three years in retaliation and was explicitly told so long after the fact by a repentant ex-boss). In that case, get another job down the line. Plenty of guys get into car wrecks, or injure themselves at sports, or have massive coronaries, and have to take time away from work, and surprisingly, they aren't coerced into returning early. I wonder why?
To the OP: take as much time as you want to take. You'll never get this time back. You may be denied pay rises and promotions because you did it (I worked part-time for six months and was denied a pay rise/promotion for three years in retaliation and was explicitly told so long after the fact by a repentant ex-boss). In that case, get another job down the line. Plenty of guys get into car wrecks, or injure themselves at sports, or have massive coronaries, and have to take time away from work, and surprisingly, they aren't coerced into returning early. I wonder why?
This thread has certainly ruffled some feathers!
I just wanted to have a whinge about the lack of maternity leave here. Seems that the USA is only one of 4 out of 168 nations that does not provide paid maternity leave. Shameful for the richest country in the world and a country that preaches to other countires about women's rights.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/...ty-leave_x.htm
Jan 25th 2007, 4:45 am
#283
Mr. Grumpy
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 3,100
Re: Horrible maternity leave
I also left home at 17 so that's not really a one-upmanship thing in my eyes - but that is another story. I was thinking of this conversation and one of the more poignant situations that came to mind was - what if the circumstances were reversed and the husband was to be a "stay-at-home" Dad? I've certainly supported my share of dead-beats but never as the father of my child. The only situation I could refer to with any honesty was when my sister had graduated with her literary degree and her husband went on with his advanced degree (law degree from Cornell University). Effectively what happened was for the 4 years he pursued higher education he didn't work or bring any significant income into the household. She worked for a publishing house and he studied ... as a graduate he made his own (basically unpaid - I believe he was a TA which went toward payment of his exorbitant tuition) schedule and was able to bring their young son with him to work for 10-15 hours per week. He took the role of primary care-giver of their child for the most part - while she earned their living. She did most of the cooking and cleaning - he studied - and they shared in Matt's care. I remember during those years that she sometimes felt that she had to "apologize" for the fact that her husband didn't work. They lived in a tiny basement apartment yet gave my nephew a fantastic beginning to his life. For some reason my family always loved Mark (her husband) and had no doubt that he was doing more than his part - it never occurred to us to emasculate or degrade him for the choices he/they made. He was (and still is ) a fantastic father to their blind from birth son. We were so impressed by their drive and willingness to sacrifice everything for their future and the future of their child. Mark is now a high-powered corporate attorney, sister is still in publishing and Matt is at the top of his class at Vassar.
So, in answer to your question, if it were the man staying home and the woman working .... my opinion wouldn't change.
Your posts made very pointed and cruel remarks with regard to women ... you seem to think that women think that squeezing out a baby is their free-ride ticket to bon-bons and soap operas - do you have any idea how bleeding boring it is to stay at home all day with screaming children? Did it ever occur to you that many women love to work? They get their identity and socialization from being in the work force? This is how they make friends and keep up with what is going on in the world? For many women staying at home is not the "gravy train" you would have us believe .... but rather a sacrifice. Many women love their jobs and their careers.... they just love their children more.
but never as the father of my child. The only situation I could refer to with any honesty was when my sister had graduated with her literary degree and her husband went on with his advanced degree (law degree from Cornell University). Effectively what happened was for the 4 years he pursued higher education he didn't work or bring any significant income into the household. She worked for a publishing house and he studied ... as a graduate he made his own (basically unpaid - I believe he was a TA which went toward payment of his exorbitant tuition) schedule and was able to bring their young son with him to work for 10-15 hours per week. He took the role of primary care-giver of their child for the most part - while she earned their living. She did most of the cooking and cleaning - he studied - and they shared in Matt's care. I remember during those years that she sometimes felt that she had to "apologize" for the fact that her husband didn't work. They lived in a tiny basement apartment yet gave my nephew a fantastic beginning to his life. For some reason my family always loved Mark (her husband) and had no doubt that he was doing more than his part - it never occurred to us to emasculate or degrade him for the choices he/they made. He was (and still is ) a fantastic father to their blind from birth son. We were so impressed by their drive and willingness to sacrifice everything for their future and the future of their child. Mark is now a high-powered corporate attorney, sister is still in publishing and Matt is at the top of his class at Vassar. So, in answer to your question, if it were the man staying home and the woman working .... my opinion wouldn't change.
Your posts made very pointed and cruel remarks with regard to women ... you seem to think that women think that squeezing out a baby is their free-ride ticket to bon-bons and soap operas - do you have any idea how bleeding boring it is to stay at home all day with screaming children? Did it ever occur to you that many women love to work? They get their identity and socialization from being in the work force? This is how they make friends and keep up with what is going on in the world? For many women staying at home is not the "gravy train" you would have us believe .... but rather a sacrifice. Many women love their jobs and their careers.... they just love their children more.
maybe its american culture, maybe its just the attitude of the women I know here? I would say between 50% - 65% would rather not work, a recent comment was 'thinking of going back to work makes me want to cry', this is coming from someone who by her own admission does not have a particularly challenging job, another friends goal in life is to push her husband (my friend) as hard as possible to make more money so she can stay at home - not for the kids welfare (she been trying to do it since they got married) but because she thinks it will be easier. another friend just wants oprah winfrey to pay off her mortgage 'or meet a rich man' so that she doesn't have to work, another (just got married to the son of a very wealthy man) would not date a guy if he made less than 6 figures... i'm not making this shit up
will these people get a rude awakening when they find looking after children isn't a walk in the park? maybe
Jan 25th 2007, 4:47 am
#284
Homebody
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: HOME
Posts: 23,182
Re: Horrible maternity leave
..........Seems that the USA is only one of 4 out of 168 nations that does not provide paid maternity leave. Shameful for the richest country in the world and a country that preaches to other countires about women's rights.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/...ty-leave_x.htm
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/...ty-leave_x.htm
Jan 25th 2007, 4:50 am
#285
Thinking about it
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Mid-West
Posts: 9,435
Re: Horrible maternity leave
One of the most demeaning insults posted on this thread.
