Shahlax

I am due in 7 weeks and had a meeting with my boss to discuss maternity leave. Told him I would be out on disabilty 4 weeks before birth and 6 weeks afterward (which is covered under the federal family leave law and by a note from my doctor). Then I would take another 12 weeks to care for newborn under the NJ family law thing. I know I am entitled to all this as I checked with HR first.

I got the most unexpected reaction. He gave me a lecture about how the dept has had 13 pregnancies in the past and no one has ever taken so much leave, how I have to get used to life in the US compared to the UK, how times have changed and women used to give up work in the past and now women work until due date and come back after 6 weeks. I was shocked. All this because I am asking for a pathetic 4 and half months of leave after the birth and most of it is unpaid! Even the first part is being paid by the state, not by my company! Told him that and he said it doesn't matter as they are losing money when I am not at work. He is now trying to bribe me by saying he will pay me full for 2 months as long as I work as close to due date as possible and phase back in part-time after 6-8 weeks!

Spoke to HR and they said I have the right to all of this leave but they still didn't seem that supportive and said I should reach a compromise with my boss!

Has anyone else had a tough time trying to get their legal maternity leave?

The US is so behind on rights in the workplace. It doesn't help that most americans don't even use all the time they are allowed to take under the law and when someone like me asks for it, I get bullied and made to feel like I am not doing my part for the company.

I thought I had it good with NJ's generous (compared to other states, not the rest of the world) family leave policy but what's the point if you have to fight to get it?

TouristTrap

Sorry to hear this. It sucks.

Bob

Aye, there was talk about maternity leave in the past here, and basically, it sucks...people just don't take it because they either don't have it or can't afford to take the unpaid time off.

If your entitled to it though, take it, they can't sack you as that'll open them up for a litigation nightmare

TruBrit

sorry about that the miserable sods

it's not just maternity leave though here is it...my hubs has 6 weeks annual leave however it's frowned upon if he were to take it.

hope you get to take the time off you're entitled to, it's such an exciting time for you with the little 'un on the way, don't let them get you down.

Shahlax

They have got me down. Feel like you have to decide between family and work here as a woman or try and do both miserably. At least in the UK, you get a year's maternity lave, by which time the baby is a decent size and most women have stopped breastfeeding. Women don't seem to come back part-time here either do they, maybe because they don't get all the benefits?

It's just all a big nightmare.

Still I am reassured that they cannot sack me if I decide to take all of it but looks like my conversation with the boss may get ugly when I hand him the paperwork.

Celsius

Is your employer a small company? Maybe it's the industry you work in.

I've heard of lots of people at my workplace who've taken the whole 12 weeks maternity leave. On the other hand, I know of a self-employed lady who only took four weeks.

TruBrit

if you can afford it then take your entitled time off after all you are doing nothing wrong according to HR, just be sure and keep everything well and truly documented as like Bob says they may make trouble ahead.

good luck

Shahlax

It's a very large company but the department I work for is small so that is why my boss is panicking I think.

dan_alford

Like TruBrit said get everything documented and dated. If you know a notary public get that as well. Not sure if NJ has the "at will" policy to employment or not. Even if they do and tell you that they are letting you go under the "at will" policy you will have a good case under equal pay laws ( which provide the basis of US equal pay and sexual discrimination laws).

Oh and before I forget, I'm not a lawyer so this doesn't constitute legal advise

iwantone

Sorry to hear of your situation. I am due in 5 weeks, also living in NJ and didn't realise that the maternity situation was so horrible. I just know as a general rule my husbands company doesn't give paternity leave (which I thought was bad enough)but he has negotiated 2 weeks off for when the baby is born as we don' t have family out here & they won't be visiting until about a month. Good luck.

Shahlax

I take it you don't work? Enjoy your time with your baby! I told my boss that my family is in the UK and in-laws are on the west coast and have no help etc. Actually my mum is coming over for 6 weeks but after that I am on my own.

iwantone

No I don't work as of last June. I had been planning to quit, it just so happened my last day was the day after we found out I was pg!! I think you should stick to your guns and not miss out on your baby while s/he is so young.

Muswell Hill

On my annual review if i take more than 3 days off sick I will get a reduced merit raise. Some US HR practices are just wrong and immoral.

Neathborn

Sorry you are having such a difficult time on the maternity leave. I have to ask though, is 7 weeks prior to your due date the first time that you have discussed maternity leave with your boss? I only ask because perhaps he/she is feeling like they didn't have enough time to prepare for your absence. That still doesn't excuse your boss's behaviour -- I think it's unforgiveable to put such pressure on you at this time and unreasonable.

As others have said, it's best to document everything. It sounds like your boss was venting his/her frustration on you for all those other employees who took time off to have children, which isn't fair.

Sorry I can't be of much help, but I wish you all the best.

anotherlimey

How dare you get pregnant!; why on Earth any company would put up with a thing such as procreation is beyond me.

<- this mangled smiley is supposed to be winking.

Is every company this bad?