Horrible maternity leave
Jan 26th 2007, 5:34 am
#331
Member
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Garden State
Posts: 280
Re: Horrible maternity leave
You may want to check out your state's policy regarding time off to breastfeed and/or pump milk. For example, in Minnesota, employers are supposed to let their employees take some time out to do this. I had 2 breaks, one in the morning and one in the afternoon in addition to lunch and was able to continue breastfeeding for 7 months. I would have continued, but health issues prevented me from doing so. The company I worked for was very supportive, but I'll be honest, it wasn't easy. Although I was supposed to be provided with a place to pump milk, it was a big supply closet and I lost count of the number of times someone would knock on the door and try to come in (even with a note posted on the door "do not disturb") 
Jan 26th 2007, 6:35 am
#332
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 6,848
Re: Horrible maternity leave
Actually Shalax you've made a good point re; part-time work.
Not only is maternity leave provision poor in most parts of the US, from what I've observed very few women indeed seem to be able to work part-time unless mainly doing retail-type work. I just don't think it is being offered by many employers (perhaps because of health insurance costs?).
Back in the UK I knew quite a few women who did a job-share with another colleague who wants to work part-time (my sister-in-law did this for some years).
I was amazingly fortunate in being able to work from 9.30am - 2.30pm and even that was on flexitime so if I was able to get to the office a few minutes early (after dropping one child at infant school in the village and one child off at nursery school in the town where I worked) all the time accrued....at the end of the month I was very often able to get a half-day or a day off. With the 5 weeks annual leave plus bank hols it was the best working conditions I've ever had and I will never be able to get anything similar here....
And may I add.....a happy worker is a loyal and productive worker. I certainly was.
Not only is maternity leave provision poor in most parts of the US, from what I've observed very few women indeed seem to be able to work part-time unless mainly doing retail-type work. I just don't think it is being offered by many employers (perhaps because of health insurance costs?).
Back in the UK I knew quite a few women who did a job-share with another colleague who wants to work part-time (my sister-in-law did this for some years).
I was amazingly fortunate in being able to work from 9.30am - 2.30pm and even that was on flexitime so if I was able to get to the office a few minutes early (after dropping one child at infant school in the village and one child off at nursery school in the town where I worked) all the time accrued....at the end of the month I was very often able to get a half-day or a day off. With the 5 weeks annual leave plus bank hols it was the best working conditions I've ever had and I will never be able to get anything similar here....
And may I add.....a happy worker is a loyal and productive worker. I certainly was.
Jan 26th 2007, 7:12 am
#333
Member
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Garden State
Posts: 280
Re: Horrible maternity leave
Actually Shalax you've made a good point re; part-time work.
Not only is maternity leave provision poor in most parts of the US, from what I've observed very few women indeed seem to be able to work part-time unless mainly doing retail-type work. I just don't think it is being offered by many employers (perhaps because of health insurance costs?).
Back in the UK I knew quite a few women who did a job-share with another colleague who wants to work part-time (my sister-in-law did this for some years).
I was amazingly fortunate in being able to work from 9.30am - 2.30pm and even that was on flexitime so if I was able to get to the office a few minutes early (after dropping one child at infant school in the village and one child off at nursery school in the town where I worked) all the time accrued....at the end of the month I was very often able to get a half-day or a day off. With the 5 weeks annual leave plus bank hols it was the best working conditions I've ever had and I will never be able to get anything similar here....
And may I add.....a happy worker is a loyal and productive worker. I certainly was.
Not only is maternity leave provision poor in most parts of the US, from what I've observed very few women indeed seem to be able to work part-time unless mainly doing retail-type work. I just don't think it is being offered by many employers (perhaps because of health insurance costs?).
Back in the UK I knew quite a few women who did a job-share with another colleague who wants to work part-time (my sister-in-law did this for some years).
I was amazingly fortunate in being able to work from 9.30am - 2.30pm and even that was on flexitime so if I was able to get to the office a few minutes early (after dropping one child at infant school in the village and one child off at nursery school in the town where I worked) all the time accrued....at the end of the month I was very often able to get a half-day or a day off. With the 5 weeks annual leave plus bank hols it was the best working conditions I've ever had and I will never be able to get anything similar here....
And may I add.....a happy worker is a loyal and productive worker. I certainly was.
All the companies I worked for in the UK had part-time women and job share roles, even in high management positions. We also had part-timers who worked flex hours (e.g school hours) like you mention. Over here, most women seem to come back fulltime (and I think it is because then you get all the benefits) and have to work 9-5. Part-time jobs over here do tend to be in the service industry, and practically non-existent anywhere else. I think it's rather sad.
I had 6 weeks annual leave in my last job. I miss those days! One of my former collegues in the UK is getting paid maternity leave for one whole year. I should have had a baby when I was working there, but alas, that was 5-6 years ago and I was young, free and single then!
Jan 26th 2007, 7:37 am
#334
Bugger Off!
Joined: Sep 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,858
Re: Horrible maternity leave
16 pages later and has anyone figured out whether things are right or wrong with relationships, parenting and working? 
Jan 26th 2007, 7:49 am
#335
Bugger Off!
Joined: Sep 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,858
Re: Horrible maternity leave
You asked one question about me claiming child benefit if I was in the UK - the rest of your post was a series of points some of which you suffixed with a question mark.
All I have done on this thread (apart from being short with idiots like you) is advocate some sense of personal responsibility, but if you insist on getting personal you come across as someone content to live hand to mouth, relying on the charity of others, blaming some old woman for your woes and shortcomings.
Fair play to you - personally I have some pride and self-respect which prevents me from behaving like that and so I will have to plan and save for my future.
What is it that worries you so much for taking responsibility for your own actions - are you afraid that if your life goes down the pan that you will have no-one to blame but yourself. Maybe you're better off having the government, employers, in fact just somebody, anybody else to blame. Maybe if I were you I'd behave the same way too. Thankfully I'm not.
All I have done on this thread (apart from being short with idiots like you) is advocate some sense of personal responsibility, but if you insist on getting personal you come across as someone content to live hand to mouth, relying on the charity of others, blaming some old woman for your woes and shortcomings.
Fair play to you - personally I have some pride and self-respect which prevents me from behaving like that and so I will have to plan and save for my future.
What is it that worries you so much for taking responsibility for your own actions - are you afraid that if your life goes down the pan that you will have no-one to blame but yourself. Maybe you're better off having the government, employers, in fact just somebody, anybody else to blame. Maybe if I were you I'd behave the same way too. Thankfully I'm not.
I guess though, at the end of the day, your personal opinions don't seem to matter one tiny bit in reality, as evidenced by the maternity leave laws that exist in most western countries. But, if that is how you feel you have every right to feel that way. But please, please don't run for office. All of us pathetic scroungers would have to abandon our kids on the pavement. Ahh yes, I can see it now, back to the good old days of Victorian values. Brings a tear to your eye dunnit guvnor.
Jan 26th 2007, 8:03 am
#336
Thinking about it
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Mid-West
Posts: 9,435
Re: Horrible maternity leave
At the end of the day no-one is forced to have kids and no-one is forced to work for any given employer. If you can't afford kids maybe don't have them.
If your employer has poor maternity benefits work elsewhere. If that makes me a 'corporate drone' then so be it - though I suspect that you apply that moniker to anyone who is remotely successful or has no time for your pathetic Marxist drivel.
I have no time for big corporations either, but this is clearly something that each and every individual can do something about.
Just seems some want to have their cake and not only eat it, but expect others to pay for it too - that to me seems to be the ultimate definition of a selfish person.
Good luck in life - I reckon you'll need it.
Jan 26th 2007, 11:27 am
#337
Bugger Off!
Joined: Sep 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,858
Re: Horrible maternity leave
Of course - advocating personal responsibility makes me a 'selfish money orientated corporate drone'......keep the red flag flying son.
At the end of the day no-one is forced to have kids and no-one is forced to work for any given employer. If you can't afford kids maybe don't have them.
If your employer has poor maternity benefits work elsewhere. If that makes me a 'corporate drone' then so be it - though I suspect that you apply that moniker to anyone who is remotely successful or has no time for your pathetic Marxist drivel.
I have no time for big corporations either, but this is clearly something that each and every individual can do something about.
Just seems some want to have their cake and not only eat it, but expect others to pay for it too - that to me seems to be the ultimate definition of a selfish person.
Good luck in life - I reckon you'll need it.
At the end of the day no-one is forced to have kids and no-one is forced to work for any given employer. If you can't afford kids maybe don't have them.
If your employer has poor maternity benefits work elsewhere. If that makes me a 'corporate drone' then so be it - though I suspect that you apply that moniker to anyone who is remotely successful or has no time for your pathetic Marxist drivel.
I have no time for big corporations either, but this is clearly something that each and every individual can do something about.
Just seems some want to have their cake and not only eat it, but expect others to pay for it too - that to me seems to be the ultimate definition of a selfish person.
Good luck in life - I reckon you'll need it.
I agree with you to a certain degree but you won't like what I am about to say.
The only way there would be no need for maternity benefits would be if every employer paid a wage which was enough for everybody to be able to afford to have kids if they wanted. If the girl sweating it out in Maccy's earned anything like what her hours of work are worth there would be no need for further assistance. But of course the billionaires would then only be multi millionaires and that would never do.
But really, how much money can one actually spend? How much money does one person actually need? After a certain point it is simply a case if money for the sake of money. How many lear jets can one guy fly in, how many suits can one guy wear? My dad drove busess for 40 years, he never complained and he did his job well but, if you ask me, he was never paid anything like what he was worth. Society is upside down when 'PR' men and 'Punblicists" and other people who actually do **** all and produce nothing earn a mint, while those that do the crap, mind bofflingly boring and stressfull yet essential jobs earn peanuts.
So sod Marxism. I want some kind of fair capitalism, i.e. a bit more capital for everyone. So, on that note, apologies for personal remaks made, I shall bow out of this thread and leave it to better men and women than myself to hammer something out. Good luck, goodbye and god bless.
Jan 26th 2007, 12:59 pm
#338
SUPER MODERATOR
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 88,086
Re: Horrible maternity leave
Ok Davey. Truce. This thread has got everybody all het up. No more insults. It demeans all of us mate. It is only a discussion after all and I am as guilty as anybody. I am not a marxist. We have seen that that system didn't work. As soon as you put humans into the equation greed always takes over. My final thought on this though, seriously, would be to say that nobody, apart from rather rich people can ever really afford to have kids. It is alwyays a struggle that maternity benefits and leave do little to alleviate really. You have kids and kids problems until th e day you die. They don't just grow up, move out, and then start looking after you out of gratitude for bringing them up. They are always there and you are always worrying about them.
I agree with you to a certain degree but you won't like what I am about to say.
The only way there would be no need for maternity benefits would be if every employer paid a wage which was enough for everybody to be able to afford to have kids if they wanted. If the girl sweating it out in Maccy's earned anything like what her hours of work are worth there would be no need for further assistance. But of course the billionaires would then only be multi millionaires and that would never do.
But really, how much money can one actually spend? How much money does one person actually need? After a certain point it is simply a case if money for the sake of money. How many lear jets can one guy fly in, how many suits can one guy wear? My dad drove busess for 40 years, he never complained and he did his job well but, if you ask me, he was never paid anything like what he was worth. Society is upside down when 'PR' men and 'Punblicists" and other people who actually do **** all and produce nothing earn a mint, while those that do the crap, mind bofflingly boring and stressfull yet essential jobs earn peanuts.
So sod Marxism. I want some kind of fair capitalism, i.e. a bit more capital for everyone. So, on that note, apologies for personal remaks made, I shall bow out of this thread and leave it to better men and women than myself to hammer something out. Good luck, goodbye and god bless.
I agree with you to a certain degree but you won't like what I am about to say.
The only way there would be no need for maternity benefits would be if every employer paid a wage which was enough for everybody to be able to afford to have kids if they wanted. If the girl sweating it out in Maccy's earned anything like what her hours of work are worth there would be no need for further assistance. But of course the billionaires would then only be multi millionaires and that would never do.
But really, how much money can one actually spend? How much money does one person actually need? After a certain point it is simply a case if money for the sake of money. How many lear jets can one guy fly in, how many suits can one guy wear? My dad drove busess for 40 years, he never complained and he did his job well but, if you ask me, he was never paid anything like what he was worth. Society is upside down when 'PR' men and 'Punblicists" and other people who actually do **** all and produce nothing earn a mint, while those that do the crap, mind bofflingly boring and stressfull yet essential jobs earn peanuts.
So sod Marxism. I want some kind of fair capitalism, i.e. a bit more capital for everyone. So, on that note, apologies for personal remaks made, I shall bow out of this thread and leave it to better men and women than myself to hammer something out. Good luck, goodbye and god bless.
Jan 26th 2007, 7:00 pm
#340
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Maryland
Posts: 485
Re: Horrible maternity leave
Have been reading this thread with considerable interest.
Never realized that maternity leave was so short in the US, not to mention all the other issues surrounding merely taking what you are ENTITLED to!
While I thought the 9 months paid maternity leave (plus annual leave of two months) was generous in my job, I had no idea of how incredibly good it is compared to the States!
I do wonder though what the long term social implications is of a mother spending a mere month with a baby before passing it over to a child minder
I remember what a wrench it was to leave my son a SIX months to go back to work, cannot imagine how it would feel leaving a month old baby.
I am curious how long all the people who think 6 months is too long feel is appropriate? And how they arrived at that conclusion?
Never realized that maternity leave was so short in the US, not to mention all the other issues surrounding merely taking what you are ENTITLED to!
While I thought the 9 months paid maternity leave (plus annual leave of two months) was generous in my job, I had no idea of how incredibly good it is compared to the States!
I do wonder though what the long term social implications is of a mother spending a mere month with a baby before passing it over to a child minder
I remember what a wrench it was to leave my son a SIX months to go back to work, cannot imagine how it would feel leaving a month old baby.
I am curious how long all the people who think 6 months is too long feel is appropriate? And how they arrived at that conclusion?
Jan 26th 2007, 7:14 pm
#341
Mr. Grumpy
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 3,100
Re: Horrible maternity leave
I appreciate your response and I apologize for calling you a loser. 
The people you've known have colored your view and that is only natural. I've known all sorts of people and the older I get the less I tend to generalize.
Honestly, I've only known a very few stay-at-home Mom's in my life and they were nothing like you describe. Most of them go stir crazy and lose their identity in the shadow of their husband - and that is very hard on them. On the other hand, staying at home is simply not an option for many American women - for the obvious financial reasons. The women that I've known to stay at home usually wore the same clothes for years (and their husbands did as well) so that their kids could have more. Another thing to think about is - some men really want their wives to stay at home because they know that they will not have to worry about the quality of care their child receives.
Again, I apologize for jumping on your post. There is really nothing wrong with your plans or hopes. It was the accusatory way you seemed to blame women that rubbed me the wrong way. If you'd have said something like ..... "Due to our goals - my wife and I have decided it's better for both of us to work." I wouldn't have blinked an eye.
The people you've known have colored your view and that is only natural. I've known all sorts of people and the older I get the less I tend to generalize.
Honestly, I've only known a very few stay-at-home Mom's in my life and they were nothing like you describe. Most of them go stir crazy and lose their identity in the shadow of their husband - and that is very hard on them. On the other hand, staying at home is simply not an option for many American women - for the obvious financial reasons. The women that I've known to stay at home usually wore the same clothes for years (and their husbands did as well) so that their kids could have more. Another thing to think about is - some men really want their wives to stay at home because they know that they will not have to worry about the quality of care their child receives.
Again, I apologize for jumping on your post. There is really nothing wrong with your plans or hopes. It was the accusatory way you seemed to blame women that rubbed me the wrong way. If you'd have said something like ..... "Due to our goals - my wife and I have decided it's better for both of us to work." I wouldn't have blinked an eye.
Jan 26th 2007, 7:38 pm
#342
Mr. Grumpy
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 3,100
Re: Horrible maternity leave
Two points: who's going to get the health insurance cover? Tennessee doesn't offer the same kind of plans in place in Massachusetts or Hawaii. You may find you cannot afford to be self-employed and work only four days a week AND afford health insurance. And that's if both of you are insurable. God forbid you have a child with serious medical problems.
Second point: who decides on expenditures for the kid(s)? They are hideously expensive little creatures even if you scrimp. Diapers/nappies alone are at least $50 per month. If you scrimp and use cloth, who's going to do that extra laundry? You will not be able to find daycare that will take a child for three days a week and charge you less than if you were there five days -- not a decent daycare anyway. So for an infant that's at least $700 per month, more if you hire a private caregiver. And we haven't even started on furniture, clothing, toys, carseats....
Seriously, I'd love to hear how you are doing post-kid to see if you've managed to pull this off.... if you have done it, I can learn something from your methods. If not.... I don't need to know, because I've seen many, many families struggling with these issues, including my brother and sister-in-law whose daughter will be a year old soon.
Second point: who decides on expenditures for the kid(s)? They are hideously expensive little creatures even if you scrimp. Diapers/nappies alone are at least $50 per month. If you scrimp and use cloth, who's going to do that extra laundry? You will not be able to find daycare that will take a child for three days a week and charge you less than if you were there five days -- not a decent daycare anyway. So for an infant that's at least $700 per month, more if you hire a private caregiver. And we haven't even started on furniture, clothing, toys, carseats....
Seriously, I'd love to hear how you are doing post-kid to see if you've managed to pull this off.... if you have done it, I can learn something from your methods. If not.... I don't need to know, because I've seen many, many families struggling with these issues, including my brother and sister-in-law whose daughter will be a year old soon.
decisions on stuff for the kids will be joint, unless one of us goes mental and decides on something like swiss finishing school
at that point hopefully sanity will rein. For example my wifes attitude on kids going to college is that we'll fund them to the value of the state college and they can get in debt or supplement it themselves if they want to go out of state...We are really pushing things to get ahead as much as we can - as of yesterday, my wife was offered a job sometime in the future (not guaranteed obviously) that would be strictly 9-5 hours less than 5 mins away that would give a good salary and great benefits
Last edited by BritGuyTN; Jan 26th 2007 at 7:41 pm.
Jan 26th 2007, 7:56 pm
#343
Mr. Grumpy
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 3,100
Re: Horrible maternity leave
right now - nope, although I am getting grief about getting siding on the garage..... (J/K)
...I hope you come to realise soon that not everything in life is "cut and dry" and we should all make certain sacrifices in our own lives to make life easier for others. Good luck to you and your wife when you do start a family and it would be good to hear your comments then..........
I make sacrifices every day to make things easier for others, its just frustrating that it never get reciprocated
Jan 27th 2007, 12:14 am
#344
Account Closed
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,196
Re: Horrible maternity leave
Have been reading this thread with considerable interest.
Never realized that maternity leave was so short in the US, not to mention all the other issues surrounding merely taking what you are ENTITLED to!While I thought the 9 months paid maternity leave (plus annual leave of two months) was generous in my job, I had no idea of how incredibly good it is compared to the States!
I do wonder though what the long term social implications is of a mother spending a mere month with a baby before passing it over to a child minder
I remember what a wrench it was to leave my son a SIX months to go back to work, cannot imagine how it would feel leaving a month old baby.
I am curious how long all the people who think 6 months is too long feel is appropriate? And how they arrived at that conclusion?
Never realized that maternity leave was so short in the US, not to mention all the other issues surrounding merely taking what you are ENTITLED to!While I thought the 9 months paid maternity leave (plus annual leave of two months) was generous in my job, I had no idea of how incredibly good it is compared to the States!
I do wonder though what the long term social implications is of a mother spending a mere month with a baby before passing it over to a child minder
I remember what a wrench it was to leave my son a SIX months to go back to work, cannot imagine how it would feel leaving a month old baby.
I am curious how long all the people who think 6 months is too long feel is appropriate? And how they arrived at that conclusion?
This stuff should really be posted at the airport.......
*Attention all immigrants seeking to start a family in the US: Read the following carefully, your plane has not taken off on the return flight yet.............*
Jan 27th 2007, 12:19 am
#345
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Maryland
Posts: 485
Re: Horrible maternity leave
Lol luckily I'm pregnant now, medical will be covered on my SO's insurance, and I will be getting a total of 11 months full pay from the UK....Even stuff like being able to take as much sick leave as I want to like I can here while pregnant doesn't seem an option there...
