Horrible maternity leave
Jan 24th 2007, 1:08 pm
#256
who turned out the light?
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: WA
Posts: 7,997
Re: Horrible maternity leave
maybe she got what you were like from this earlier post - (*post 164)
I'm sorry I am with her and I am not normally rude but if thats how you feel about your wife telling her what she is 'allowed' to do etc then I really feel sorry for your wife
My wife knows she has no choice but to work - if she wants river property and I want a new porsche and I earn all the money - guess what gets bought - the porsche.
When we first met she did talk about being a stay at home mom but I quickly informed her that this was not acceptable to me - why should the stress be all on me. The fact she had a stay at home mom and her older brother died during an unsupervised activity and her younger brother is an unemployable drug addict loser does not promote the concept for me....
Last edited by Irn-bru; Jan 24th 2007 at 1:12 pm.
Jan 24th 2007, 1:09 pm
#257
Account Closed
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 8,266
Re: Horrible maternity leave
I don't recall saying anything to the contrary.
However I don't think people should expect any favours from anyone, especially when taking such an important step.
You can call me all the names of the day if you want, but its the people who expect their employers, their colleagues, the government to pick up the slack for them - they're the real ponces.
However I don't think people should expect any favours from anyone, especially when taking such an important step.
You can call me all the names of the day if you want, but its the people who expect their employers, their colleagues, the government to pick up the slack for them - they're the real ponces.
Jan 24th 2007, 1:09 pm
#258
Homebody
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: HOME
Posts: 23,182
Re: Horrible maternity leave
Jan 24th 2007, 1:14 pm
#259
Mr. Grumpy
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 3,100
Re: Horrible maternity leave
to be fair this was at an early stage of our relationship, a long time before I moved over here for her - keeping everything up front was I thought a pretty good way of setting expectations - at that stage its a lot easier for either partner to go a different route.
I can assure you, the only thing I've EVER told me wife to do is forbidding her to drink (alchohol) and drive - anything else and I would get a slap
(or more likely just laughed at)
Jan 24th 2007, 1:22 pm
#262
Account Closed
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 8,266
Re: Horrible maternity leave
Jan 24th 2007, 1:24 pm
#263
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 15,455
Re: Horrible maternity leave
I must say I think it is you who have shown unreasonble anger bordering on hysteria throught the course of this thread. Do you plan to have kids yourself?
Jan 24th 2007, 1:30 pm
#264
Thinking about it
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Mid-West
Posts: 9,435
Re: Horrible maternity leave
Jan 24th 2007, 1:40 pm
#266
Thinking about it
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Mid-West
Posts: 9,435
Re: Horrible maternity leave
I haven't called anyone a Nazi - so not sure where your getting the hysteria from.
This is what makes me wonder about you - you can go from taking part in a sensible debate to making really stupid and baseless statements when your 'mates' show up - its not a great quality to be honest, but I'll just leave it there.
This is becoming a bit of a waste of time which is a shame, but hardly unexpected.
Jan 24th 2007, 1:52 pm
#269
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 15,455
Re: Horrible maternity leave
OMG
I haven't called anyone a Nazi - so not sure where your getting the hysteria from.
This is what makes me wonder about you - you can go from taking part in a sensible debate to making really stupid and baseless statements when your 'mates' show up - its not a great quality to be honest, but I'll just leave it there.
This is becoming a bit of a waste of time which is a shame, but hardly unexpected.
I haven't called anyone a Nazi - so not sure where your getting the hysteria from.
This is what makes me wonder about you - you can go from taking part in a sensible debate to making really stupid and baseless statements when your 'mates' show up - its not a great quality to be honest, but I'll just leave it there.
This is becoming a bit of a waste of time which is a shame, but hardly unexpected.
No-one called you a nazi.
Jan 24th 2007, 2:06 pm
#270
Lapine Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Austin, Texas in my own little world
Posts: 21,691
Re: Horrible maternity leave
OMFG.
BGT -- there's no way you and your wife will both find employers willing to let you work four-day weeks. To find one that will allow one of you to do it will be miraculous enough.
Paid maternity leave is budgeted for in the same way as other sick leave and vacation. If someone decides to forgo having kids, does that mean no one should take paid maternity leave? By that reasoning, those who take their full vacation entitlement are greedy bastards compared to those who don't feel the need to take a vacation.
Being pregnant, delivering, and recovering from the birth of my kids is the hardest thing I have ever done. No other illness or injury comes close. A charting error led to the nurses insisting that I hadn't lost blood.... until a routine test showed that I was in critical condition and needed an immediate blood transfusion. I had a hematocrit of 4.0 and couldn't walk. I didn't sue, despite having to stay in bed and rest for two more months past birth due to these complications. And I wasn't working then, so those two months weren't on anyone's else's tab.
I have been a part-time worker, a full-time worker, a stay-at-home mom, married, separated/divorced, remarried. Raising kids is far harder than working. Staying at home without an adult to talk to can drive you mad. Oh, and all the places at "mother's day out" were full while I was a stay-at-home. Currently I share custody with my ex-husband and work full-time while my husband stays home to study to get into a career that pays above poverty level wages. I work in a field that demands long hours and is male-dominated. I fought for four years to get back into my career after staying at home. My ex-husband sailed through since he'd been the one to keep the job. He makes twice as much as I do, for doing the same job, as a result.
To the OP: take as much time as you want to take. You'll never get this time back. You may be denied pay rises and promotions because you did it (I worked part-time for six months and was denied a pay rise/promotion for three years in retaliation and was explicitly told so long after the fact by a repentant ex-boss). In that case, get another job down the line. Plenty of guys get into car wrecks, or injure themselves at sports, or have massive coronaries, and have to take time away from work, and surprisingly, they aren't coerced into returning early. I wonder why?
If your marriage is so bad that you begrudge your spouse spending "your" money and the two of you can't agree on finances, then you don't have a marriage, you have a roommate. If you would be jealous if your wife didn't work and you had to, what are you going to think when 99.999% of her time energy and attention go to the baby and not you?
I knew chivalry had died out but I thought that Neanderthals had gone extinct as well.
BGT -- there's no way you and your wife will both find employers willing to let you work four-day weeks. To find one that will allow one of you to do it will be miraculous enough.
Paid maternity leave is budgeted for in the same way as other sick leave and vacation. If someone decides to forgo having kids, does that mean no one should take paid maternity leave? By that reasoning, those who take their full vacation entitlement are greedy bastards compared to those who don't feel the need to take a vacation.
Being pregnant, delivering, and recovering from the birth of my kids is the hardest thing I have ever done. No other illness or injury comes close. A charting error led to the nurses insisting that I hadn't lost blood.... until a routine test showed that I was in critical condition and needed an immediate blood transfusion. I had a hematocrit of 4.0 and couldn't walk. I didn't sue, despite having to stay in bed and rest for two more months past birth due to these complications. And I wasn't working then, so those two months weren't on anyone's else's tab.
I have been a part-time worker, a full-time worker, a stay-at-home mom, married, separated/divorced, remarried. Raising kids is far harder than working. Staying at home without an adult to talk to can drive you mad. Oh, and all the places at "mother's day out" were full while I was a stay-at-home. Currently I share custody with my ex-husband and work full-time while my husband stays home to study to get into a career that pays above poverty level wages. I work in a field that demands long hours and is male-dominated. I fought for four years to get back into my career after staying at home. My ex-husband sailed through since he'd been the one to keep the job. He makes twice as much as I do, for doing the same job, as a result.
To the OP: take as much time as you want to take. You'll never get this time back. You may be denied pay rises and promotions because you did it (I worked part-time for six months and was denied a pay rise/promotion for three years in retaliation and was explicitly told so long after the fact by a repentant ex-boss). In that case, get another job down the line. Plenty of guys get into car wrecks, or injure themselves at sports, or have massive coronaries, and have to take time away from work, and surprisingly, they aren't coerced into returning early. I wonder why?
If your marriage is so bad that you begrudge your spouse spending "your" money and the two of you can't agree on finances, then you don't have a marriage, you have a roommate. If you would be jealous if your wife didn't work and you had to, what are you going to think when 99.999% of her time energy and attention go to the baby and not you?
I knew chivalry had died out but I thought that Neanderthals had gone extinct as well.
