Friends
May 25th 2007, 3:07 am
#31
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Mother Land.
Posts: 14,858
Re: Friends
Complete rubbish. Although the U.S. sucks, don't even try blaming Christianity for your lack of friends.
Of course, you've watched the BBC documentaries on "America." Try thinking for yourself. If you haven't made friends in the U.S. that you can enjoy a tea with, that's your fault, not thousands, if not millions of people.
Try harder.
Of course, you've watched the BBC documentaries on "America." Try thinking for yourself. If you haven't made friends in the U.S. that you can enjoy a tea with, that's your fault, not thousands, if not millions of people.
Try harder.
May 25th 2007, 3:09 am
#32
Who?
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Stepford
Posts: 3,098
Re: Friends
I have made lots of "nearly friends" and a few who have become good friends.
I joined the Newcomers club and am now on the board of the club. I have met a lot of people through that.
I have made dog walking friends and I know about 5 other Brits.
My rule on moving somewhere new is to accept every invitation and join everything...hard at times but it has paid off.
Because my children are older I don't have the "school gate" friends I made in the UK when my eldest started school 14 years ago
Lots of people my age are back at work or they socialise with the women they met when their kids went to elementary school.
I became our street rep in the neighbourhood, joined the PTA etc.
That was hard because all the PTA mums here are very cliquey and initially I was just ignored but I persevered.
I miss the casual contact with people that I used to see on the High street.
It is more structured here but I think for me thats because I used to walk everywhere and I would bump into friends and we'd end up having coffee in someone's house. Here I drive everywhere so the casual invites are few and far between.
We are planning my daughters graduation party and that made us realise just how many people we know and more importantly ...like
I joined the Newcomers club and am now on the board of the club. I have met a lot of people through that.
I have made dog walking friends and I know about 5 other Brits.
My rule on moving somewhere new is to accept every invitation and join everything...hard at times but it has paid off.
Because my children are older I don't have the "school gate" friends I made in the UK when my eldest started school 14 years ago
Lots of people my age are back at work or they socialise with the women they met when their kids went to elementary school.I became our street rep in the neighbourhood, joined the PTA etc.
That was hard because all the PTA mums here are very cliquey and initially I was just ignored but I persevered.
I miss the casual contact with people that I used to see on the High street.
It is more structured here but I think for me thats because I used to walk everywhere and I would bump into friends and we'd end up having coffee in someone's house. Here I drive everywhere so the casual invites are few and far between.
We are planning my daughters graduation party and that made us realise just how many people we know and more importantly ...like
May 25th 2007, 3:10 am
#33
I approved this message
Joined: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago
Posts: 2,425
Re: Friends
quite a few threads on this, the one about US people having issues making close friends is a good one to read because of the news article that started it.
I've got a few friends here, but I wouldn't say any are as close as my mates from blighty, the true close ones from school and uni, where if anything happens, they'll drop whatever to help you out or give you a place to sleep, around here I get the feeling they wouldn't even know me if I needed a hand in a pinch.
I've got a few friends here, but I wouldn't say any are as close as my mates from blighty, the true close ones from school and uni, where if anything happens, they'll drop whatever to help you out or give you a place to sleep, around here I get the feeling they wouldn't even know me if I needed a hand in a pinch.
May 25th 2007, 3:17 am
#34
Homebody
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: HOME
Posts: 23,182
Re: Friends
I miss the casual contact with people that I used to see on the High street.
It is more structured here but I think for me thats because I used to walk everywhere and I would bump into friends and we'd end up having coffee in someone's house. Here I drive everywhere so the casual invites are few and far between....
It is more structured here but I think for me thats because I used to walk everywhere and I would bump into friends and we'd end up having coffee in someone's house. Here I drive everywhere so the casual invites are few and far between....
Here it just seems such a carfuffle to arrange anything...
May 25th 2007, 3:25 am
#35
BE Site Lead
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: MA, USA
Posts: 92,175
Re: Friends
I don't think Americans have an especially tough time making friends, I think it probably has more to do with the fact that y'all (sic) are immigrants. I have lots of close friends. That's probably because I grew up here and probably have a common frame of reference with more people than an immigrant might. I imagine that if I moved to the UK, it would be more difficult for me to make close friends.
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...making+friends
May 25th 2007, 3:47 am
#36
Just Joined
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 16
Re: Friends
I have a pretty good circle of friends here in the northwest, many of them are the spouses/girlfriends of my husband's friends. We all really made the effort to plan girls nights out, leaving the boys behind. We also plan lots of camping trips (everyone has kids now). I have found that my friendships here aren't quite as spontaneous as the friendships at home (i.e. calling up best friend to go out for a drink that kind of thing), and I do have to work at getting stuff onto my "social calendar." Have you tried posting something on meetup.com? I bet there are like-minded people out there. Good luck.
Naomi.
Naomi.
May 25th 2007, 4:20 am
#37
Homebody
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: HOME
Posts: 23,182
Re: Friends
It usually involves......... coffee !!!
May 25th 2007, 4:36 am
#38
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: NW Chicago suburbs
Posts: 11,253
Re: Friends
May 25th 2007, 4:49 am
#40
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: NW Chicago suburbs
Posts: 11,253
May 25th 2007, 5:07 am
#42
Account Closed
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 8,266
Re: Friends
I have a great circle as I've mentioned countless times before, but it has taken a long time. There is only one septic that I find comfortable dropping in on. It is considered rude to drop in without phoning ahead first (the house has to be spotlessly dusted/polished, etc of course *wink*) whereas back home, you wouldn't blink twice if you arrived at your mates' and the b/fast dishes were sitting in the sink.
My SIL was over here the other day and was shocked that I didn't have a cake on the cake stand for when people dropped in for coffee. I had a great laugh at that. I told her I seldom make cakes. Over in Africa and Europe, you always had a nibble to offer whoever dropped in for tea or coffee. Even if it was a biccie.
The reason why US folk don't have the social lives that the rest of the world have is due to the work situation - the pressure and hours that they're required to put in and also the attitude of 'having my kid do everything that they can, cram as much into the day as possible' that they have. Kids can't be left alone to get bored. They have to have this and that and that activity throughout the day or the parents feel they're failing them. That leaves precious little time for outsiders.
My SIL was over here the other day and was shocked that I didn't have a cake on the cake stand for when people dropped in for coffee. I had a great laugh at that. I told her I seldom make cakes. Over in Africa and Europe, you always had a nibble to offer whoever dropped in for tea or coffee. Even if it was a biccie.
The reason why US folk don't have the social lives that the rest of the world have is due to the work situation - the pressure and hours that they're required to put in and also the attitude of 'having my kid do everything that they can, cram as much into the day as possible' that they have. Kids can't be left alone to get bored. They have to have this and that and that activity throughout the day or the parents feel they're failing them. That leaves precious little time for outsiders.
May 25th 2007, 5:10 am
#43
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: NW Chicago suburbs
Posts: 11,253
May 25th 2007, 5:16 am
#44
Re: Friends
May 25th 2007, 5:19 am
#45
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: NW Chicago suburbs
Posts: 11,253
