Nice

I have made lots of "nearly friends" and a few who have become good friends.
I joined the Newcomers club and am now on the board of the club. I have met a lot of people through that.
I have made dog walking friends and I know about 5 other Brits.

My rule on moving somewhere new is to accept every invitation and join everything...hard at times but it has paid off.

Because my children are older I don't have the "school gate" friends I made in the UK when my eldest started school 14 years ago Lots of people my age are back at work or they socialise with the women they met when their kids went to elementary school.

I became our street rep in the neighbourhood, joined the PTA etc.
That was hard because all the PTA mums here are very cliquey and initially I was just ignored but I persevered.

I miss the casual contact with people that I used to see on the High street.
It is more structured here but I think for me thats because I used to walk everywhere and I would bump into friends and we'd end up having coffee in someone's house. Here I drive everywhere so the casual invites are few and far between.

We are planning my daughters graduation party and that made us realise just how many people we know and more importantly ...like

I don't think Americans have an especially tough time making friends, I think it probably has more to do with the fact that y'all (sic) are immigrants. I have lots of close friends. That's probably because I grew up here and probably have a common frame of reference with more people than an immigrant might. I imagine that if I moved to the UK, it would be more difficult for me to make close friends.

These is SO true! Whenever I'm back I'm forever bumping into people and usually end up having a long natter, going for coffee or making arrangements to meet later.

Here it just seems such a carfuffle to arrange anything...

Aye, true, but not always the case, that news article wasn't made up out of thin air...a lot of it has to do with people moving around, having long commutes etc that make it hard to meet people outside of work etc to really get deep friendships over casual acquaintances.

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...making+friends

I have a pretty good circle of friends here in the northwest, many of them are the spouses/girlfriends of my husband's friends. We all really made the effort to plan girls nights out, leaving the boys behind. We also plan lots of camping trips (everyone has kids now). I have found that my friendships here aren't quite as spontaneous as the friendships at home (i.e. calling up best friend to go out for a drink that kind of thing), and I do have to work at getting stuff onto my "social calendar." Have you tried posting something on meetup.com? I bet there are like-minded people out there. Good luck.
Naomi.

I have also found that "going out for a drink" around here doesn't mean quite the same as back in Blighty...





















It usually involves......... coffee !!!

lol now my new UK friends have always asked me out for coffee - where my U.S. friends and I would mean... DRINK!

how well do they know ya...

Not well yet. Why - do you think they think I only like coffee?

Actually, it's fine with me either way - much more about the company than the beverage, I like both. And in the middle of the day - coffee's probably the better choice

Proof - if it were needed - that you have some way to go before you can apply for honoUrary Britship...

I have a great circle as I've mentioned countless times before, but it has taken a long time. There is only one septic that I find comfortable dropping in on. It is considered rude to drop in without phoning ahead first (the house has to be spotlessly dusted/polished, etc of course *wink*) whereas back home, you wouldn't blink twice if you arrived at your mates' and the b/fast dishes were sitting in the sink.

My SIL was over here the other day and was shocked that I didn't have a cake on the cake stand for when people dropped in for coffee. I had a great laugh at that. I told her I seldom make cakes. Over in Africa and Europe, you always had a nibble to offer whoever dropped in for tea or coffee. Even if it was a biccie.

The reason why US folk don't have the social lives that the rest of the world have is due to the work situation - the pressure and hours that they're required to put in and also the attitude of 'having my kid do everything that they can, cram as much into the day as possible' that they have. Kids can't be left alone to get bored. They have to have this and that and that activity throughout the day or the parents feel they're failing them. That leaves precious little time for outsiders.