dlake02

My German co-worker who is over here for a meeting put it very nicely today using an expression I had hitherto been unaware of:

Grinf**ked

It sums up how I feel about attitudes here very nicely.

Ethelred_the_Unready

I wouldn't either. I can't even find a reply to one of my posts that I wanted to reply to. To say that this thread went off on a tangent would be somewhat of a huge understatement.

Ethelred_the_Unready

Ok the flip side and to be one of those "glass half full" type people, it at least should encourage us Brits to mend bridges with our continental friends who actually, have far more in common with us than many of us (of the Eurosceptic persuasion) like to think.

JRG67

Cool

Sally Redux

I think it's kept on track fairly well.

fakey

If it had gone on for 50 pages and stuck to the subject without any meandering about it might not be quite so interesting ?

UkWinds5353

While its true many Americans could use longer vacation breaks from work ,I don't think that explains why more aren't drawn to explore distant destinations like Europe and Asia. It's my opinion that love of country plays a large role in the travel choices of many Americans.They would prefer to see the Grand Canyon or Yosemite Park. Keep in mind that the United States is also a Microwave nation=Less patience for things that take time. So for many Americans the idea of doing a trip that is quick and convenient is preferable.Not to mention the allure of warm weather found in the caribbean, florida,california or Mexico. Not that Europe or Asia would not be appealing, but closer destinations just works better.And when you check the stats of American travel patterns this analysis seems pretty sound. I think the idea of traveling to Europe does especially appeal to Americans as they get a bit older.

yellowroom

I'll go along with the lack of curiosity thing from many US citizens for travel out of the country. I have a major work meeting planned for next spring in Germany. Many of my US colleagues are non-plussed by the destination and say the only thing they associate with Germany is Hitler!

I can't say I'm an expert in the country - my German O-level was a long time ago and I've only ever been there when driving through it on the way to Denmark. But there is absolutely no curiosity from my colleagues about the country or enthusiasm for the trip. Whereas I'm hitting up all the travel sites to see what I can see while I'm there and how easy it would be to work in a few other cities or the Black Forest or even catching a flight to Prague...

My employer is fine about this kind of thing as long as you fund your own personal travel/hotel nights, so why not make the most of the opportunity of having return flights paid for (and the time for them), so we can do a lot for not much annual leave and bit of cash.

Ok, it might not be top of your bucket list, but I can't see many of them at least taking a couple of days to have a look while they are there! Even the colleague that claims to be German and who has never visited the "home country"....

retzie

Perhaps it's as simple as people who are likely to be most approachable are the least solid when it comes to actual planning? I'm usually pretty reticent to actually invest time in new people. It's not even that I'm shy/introverted, more so that I cringe at the idea of being false. If it gets to a point where I actually make suggestions/plans, I will damn well follow through with them. I think the words come overly easily to some people and the 'investment' isn't actually behind them.

To me, a lot of this issue is due to lack of existing networks. At home, I almost entirely meet new people through people I already know. This usually bypasses a lot of natural filtering mechanisms. Here, I almost entirely meet people at random, so you get the 'public' face: super friendly fronting lack of conviction; or, possibly cold/distant before they have gotten to know you. I guess here I'm more stuck with superficial evidence.

Of course, I've never lived abroad in any other country, so maybe it is an American thing. The best friends I've made since I've been here are British, Czech and Canadian. There are a few Americans on the list, but they have certainly taken more time to cultivate. (They have been 'tentative, getting to know you, only making plans when you really mean it' affairs. These are definitely people in the 'think before you act' school of friendship.)

A report from the other direction: a (USC) co-worker has mentioned that living in Berlin, it took a good couple of years to make even basic friendships, but those that they made are heartfelt and completely solid. He and his wife are struggling with the nicey-nicey now they're back in the US in a new city. No doubt different nationalities have broad inclinations toward one manner of being than the other.

UkWinds5353

All 300 million are private and closed? I'm sensing a over generalization. America for sure is a extroverted society if there ever was one.

Yorkieabroad

After catching up 40 odd pages of the thread over a bottle of red, I can't be ar$ed to trawl back and find the posts to quote but to reply to the bits I remember......

I'm married to a USC, have USC inlaws, 3 USC sisters in law and 3 USC brothers in law, regularly meet up with 2 USC cousins and their spouses and have a few (not many) USC friends and a whole bunch of USC aquaintances, but (with the exception of my wife) I haven't a clue what any of their salaries are, so whoever said that was among the first thing Americans talk about was talking blx. Err, imho. But I do know how much their houses/cars/tv's cost......

The only time I've discussed salary was when I got engaged to my wife-to-be
and my FILtobe grilled me on how well I could look after his daughter. He found out things about my finances my own parents didn't know. Hell, he found out things I didn't know! But he's Chinese and that water thing really does work.

Agree totally with the comments that the Americans that are easiest to get on with are the ones that have travelled significantly and/or lived abroad. Having been an expat for almost 18 years, I think I get on better with expats of any nationality, rather than homebodies. And that includes homebodies from my home country.

I don't buy the idea that Americans don't travel overseas because there is so much to see at home. I travel a lot with the kids over the summer - roadtrips with a caravan/travel trailer. My wife doesn't come for the whole trip as she is a contractor so gets 0 paid vacation - she flies out and joins us for a weekend at various points. The comments we get from locals are interesting - lots of them would love to go see the Grand Canyon/Smokey Mountains/Vegas/New Orleans/ wherever. But they don't. They come up with all sorts of excuses, but at the end of the day, if they wanted to, they could. They just haven't got enough get-up-and-go, but....read the next one...

I also don't buy the premise that Americans don't travel internationally because they are too impatient....I know plenty who think nothing of a roadtrip from Texas to California or New York, so time isn't the issue. Cost may be, but not time.

I can relate to the black man in China comment not long ago....I have a BIL who hadn't left his home state (Michigan) until he flew down to Texas to get married. That was a culture shock for him. A year later, he had an even bigger one. We all went to Taiwan to see the "old" family. He is about 6'4", blonde, 300+lbs. OK, not black, but lets just say he didn't "blend" in Taiwan. To be fair, he did really well - took all the poking, touching, talking and pointing in good spirit. Even ate everything that was put in front of him, with a smile too, as long as no-one told him what it was.... We got to Day 5 though, and when the seacucumber and jellyfish starter arrived, he just picked me up and carried me out of the restaurant muttering "I need some proper effing food - find me some wings!". We discovered that there is a Hooters in Taipei. The wings are identical. The waitresses are kinda...not. But he was happy. When we got back on US soil, he shredded his passport - "won't need that again - I've done abroad!" And to this day, the only places he's been are Michigan, Texas and Taiwan. But he loves America, and see's no reason to go overseas cos this country is so big and has so much to see...........

UkWinds5353

I'm curious to how much of the challenge in making American friends is down to Brits being "naturally reserve"?

Also, do Brits feel awkward when meeting Americans if the "usual" response they experience during conversation with a Brit, is misunderstood and lacks familarity when conversing with Americans? Is that off putting enough to discourage Brits from making more of an effort in befriending Americans?

I ask those questions because I wonder how much of this potential problem is due to communication errors. I wonder if Americans also are left scratching their head trying to figure out "some" of the Brits they met. I've seen a situation when Brits and Canadians were speaking to one another and the Brit made a joke and it was taken completely the wrong way by the guy from Canada and mostly because the sense of humor between them were culturally different.

Sally Redux

Brits are not used to meeting someone who says, "Oh wow, I just love you, you're so great, we must go for lunch!!" and then either not turning up or calling with a lame excuse 5 minutes before they're due to meet.

JRG67

Hilarious V witty

Please drink some more red wine and join us more often!!:thumbsup

JRG67

Lots of those types in the (British) world of theatre


Americans might not be used to their male friends calling them a "bastard" (but in a friendly way) or if female, a "slag".