Difficult to make friends in America?
Nov 20th 2012, 5:28 am
#766
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2011
Location: Was Virginia, now Yorkshire.
Posts: 2,333
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
That is very true, however enough people have confirmed its happened them to know its appears to be a real phenomena. If nothing else, hopefully this thread will help others who experience it know it's not necessarily something wrong with them! I've learnt that I can't take it too personally and that I just have to persevere.
Nov 20th 2012, 5:29 am
#767
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2011
Location: West Sussex - did 3 years in the US...
Posts: 577
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Good on yer 
- saw people were doing that on the news.
That is the theme of the thread but it's probable that there's a selection bias at play - namely that the people who don't experience those types of issues aren't contributing (aside from the odd heckle from the sidelines).
- saw people were doing that on the news.That is the theme of the thread but it's probable that there's a selection bias at play - namely that the people who don't experience those types of issues aren't contributing (aside from the odd heckle from the sidelines).
I WANT to know, like, yes, be-friend Americans; not live in a ex-pat G&T enclave.
We have lived in other countless and made friends VERY easily and quickly. We ended up flying to Germany a few weeks back for a baby naming ceremony for someone we met donkey's years ago (German). We have friends, real phone-up-and-chat, drinks-and-dinner type friends, all over Euorope.
Truly, after 2 years here, we feel that we know no-one.
Nov 20th 2012, 5:34 am
#768
Joined: Apr 2012
Location: CT
Posts: 33,667
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
There are acquaintances I have made through work, but in 16 years, the only real friend I have here is Mrs Nutek.
(which is actually ok)
(which is actually ok)
Nov 20th 2012, 5:40 am
#769
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: East Seaxe
Posts: 73,210
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Yup. It can be a really difficult culture to break into if you didn't grow up here. People underestimate how different the culture is because we all speak more or less the same language.
Nov 20th 2012, 6:05 am
#770
Banned
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,065
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
You need to get down Millwall of a Saturday afternoon mate
No- one likes us - WE DONT CARE ha ha ha ha
Dont get me wrong- I do have some sympathy- but on the other hand
'Ooh ooh no- one wanted to come to my birthday party' ha ha ha ffs - really ? are you kidding me ? - grow a back bone eh ffs
Thanx for the giggles though - excellent
No- one likes us - WE DONT CARE ha ha ha ha
Dont get me wrong- I do have some sympathy- but on the other hand
'Ooh ooh no- one wanted to come to my birthday party' ha ha ha ffs - really ? are you kidding me ? - grow a back bone eh ffs
Thanx for the giggles though - excellent
Have you seen the film with Matt Damon, where he is a poor kid in Harvard, who is forced to quit, and goes to England to visit his sister, who is married to a UKC who works in the City and whose brother is a Millwall supporter??
Excellent social critique!
Nov 20th 2012, 6:15 am
#771
Banned
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,065
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
funny how you and JRG turn up together on threads to post the same crap. Apparently dlake is simultaneously unfriendly and not making enough of an effort, yet at the same time trying too hard?
Sod off. Three common themes in this thread:
It's clear that it isn't one geographical area in the US where you can experience this, but like most things YMMV and you may be lucky striking up friendships, you may not. And those of us who have not been lucky would be grateful of those of you who have would not put all the blame on us!!
Sod off. Three common themes in this thread:
- Apparent initial friendliness of people we meet rarely follows through to forming acquaintances and even "proper" friends.
- Complete mismatch in terms of what we think an RSVP means and your obligations thereof.
- Openness of locals to new people, things, experiences making it harder.
It's clear that it isn't one geographical area in the US where you can experience this, but like most things YMMV and you may be lucky striking up friendships, you may not. And those of us who have not been lucky would be grateful of those of you who have would not put all the blame on us!!
Dlake is NOT being unfriendly.
I have never suggested that.
I am merely making the point that as everyone in his area knows he is not in the US for the long-haul, perhaps the locals are unwilling to put the same emotional investment that they would for fellow Americans.
Perhaps dlake and his family arouse feelings of jealousy amongst the locals, as they are only there temporarily, and will be moving on to more exotic locations in the future.
Maybe they don't want their daughters to be heartbroken, when the son moves abroad.
Who knows?
Nov 20th 2012, 6:17 am
#772
Banned
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,065
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Maybe, but I hear it SO much from the ex-pats at work that I think it is more than that.
I WANT to know, like, yes, be-friend Americans; not live in a ex-pat G&T enclave.
We have lived in other countless and made friends VERY easily and quickly. We ended up flying to Germany a few weeks back for a baby naming ceremony for someone we met donkey's years ago (German). We have friends, real phone-up-and-chat, drinks-and-dinner type friends, all over Euorope.
Truly, after 2 years here, we feel that we know no-one.
I WANT to know, like, yes, be-friend Americans; not live in a ex-pat G&T enclave.
We have lived in other countless and made friends VERY easily and quickly. We ended up flying to Germany a few weeks back for a baby naming ceremony for someone we met donkey's years ago (German). We have friends, real phone-up-and-chat, drinks-and-dinner type friends, all over Euorope.
Truly, after 2 years here, we feel that we know no-one.
Nov 20th 2012, 6:26 am
#773
Banned
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 329
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Maybe it's a man thing or maybe it's just me but I don't feel the overwhelming urge to have a bestest friend and my life isn't unpleasant because of it.
I have a good mate I've known for decades.We email,SKYPE and occasionally go for boy's holidays which generally involved sunny places with lots of beer.
But other than that my wife and kids are all I need as close friends - although I have a wide range of chums,acquaintances and drinking buddies who I chew the fat with but not that I'd 100% rely on if there was a crisis.
That's life,as far as I'm concerned,especially if you've moved away from the area where you grew up .
But jaysus, it ain't the end of the world.
I have a good mate I've known for decades.We email,SKYPE and occasionally go for boy's holidays which generally involved sunny places with lots of beer.
But other than that my wife and kids are all I need as close friends - although I have a wide range of chums,acquaintances and drinking buddies who I chew the fat with but not that I'd 100% rely on if there was a crisis.
That's life,as far as I'm concerned,especially if you've moved away from the area where you grew up .
But jaysus, it ain't the end of the world.
Nov 20th 2012, 6:27 am
#774
In the pink
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 3,324
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
On BE you will regularly see posts in the Aussie forum, the NZ forum, the Canada forum, the USA forum, all whining on about why they can't they make any true friends. I haven't looked at UK Yankee for a long time, but that is the same way. Americans in Britain claiming that no one will be their friend, no one comes to my parties, everyone has cliques. I guess it's the same way the world over, some people just can't make friends! Poor things.
Nov 20th 2012, 6:29 am
#775
Banned
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,065
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Maybe it's a man thing or maybe it's just me but I don't feel the overwhelming urge to have a bestest friend and my life isn't unpleasant because of it.
I have a good mate I've known for decades.We email,SKYPE and occasionally go for boy's holidays which generally involved sunny places with lots of beer.
But other than that my wife and kids are all I need as close friends - although I have a wide range of chums,acquaintances and drinking buddies who I chew the fat with but not that I'd 100% rely on if there was a crisis.
That's life,as far as I'm concerned,especially if you've moved away from the area where you grew up .
But jaysus, it ain't the end of the world.
I have a good mate I've known for decades.We email,SKYPE and occasionally go for boy's holidays which generally involved sunny places with lots of beer.
But other than that my wife and kids are all I need as close friends - although I have a wide range of chums,acquaintances and drinking buddies who I chew the fat with but not that I'd 100% rely on if there was a crisis.
That's life,as far as I'm concerned,especially if you've moved away from the area where you grew up .
But jaysus, it ain't the end of the world.
Nov 20th 2012, 6:29 am
#776
Banned
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 329
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
On BE you will regularly see posts in the Aussie forum, the NZ forum, the Canada forum, the USA forum, all whining on about why they can't they make any true friends. I haven't looked at UK Yankee for a long time, but that is the same way. Americans in Britain claiming that no one will be their friend, no one comes to my parties, everyone has cliques. I guess it's the same way the world over, some people just can't make friends! Poor things.
Nov 20th 2012, 6:31 am
#777
Banned
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,065
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
On BE you will regularly see posts in the Aussie forum, the NZ forum, the Canada forum, the USA forum, all whining on about why they can't they make any true friends. I haven't looked at UK Yankee for a long time, but that is the same way. Americans in Britain claiming that no one will be their friend, no one comes to my parties, everyone has cliques. I guess it's the same way the world over, some people just can't make friends! Poor things.
Reality sucks
Nov 20th 2012, 6:33 am
#778
Banned
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 329
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Nah, that's common as muck.
Fact is having a bit on the side would only get in the way of having fun.
The last trip was a week spent touring Belgian breweries, before that it was a weekend in Vegas,before that some fishing in Barbados.
At the moment we're both putting £250 a month away into a bank account we've set up ( along with another couple of buddies ) to do the next World Cup in Brazil in style.
And then there's the Ashes in Oz next winter.
Game on !
Fact is having a bit on the side would only get in the way of having fun.
The last trip was a week spent touring Belgian breweries, before that it was a weekend in Vegas,before that some fishing in Barbados.
At the moment we're both putting £250 a month away into a bank account we've set up ( along with another couple of buddies ) to do the next World Cup in Brazil in style.
And then there's the Ashes in Oz next winter.
Game on !
Nov 20th 2012, 6:38 am
#779
Banned
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,065
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Your a Millwal supporter? Cool
Have you seen the film with Matt Damon, where he is a poor kid in Harvard, who is forced to quit, and goes to England to visit his sister, who is married to a UKC who works in the City and whose brother is a Millwall supporter?? Excellent social critique!
Have you seen the film with Matt Damon, where he is a poor kid in Harvard, who is forced to quit, and goes to England to visit his sister, who is married to a UKC who works in the City and whose brother is a Millwall supporter??
Excellent social critique!Elijah Wood in Green Street
