Difficult to make friends in America?
Nov 19th 2012, 8:48 am
#631
Banned
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 329
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
And that, good sir, is the most pertinent point of all 42 pages.
I like to pop into this forum occasionally to see if there's anything of interest or anything I can help a poster with.
And day in day out the usual suspects are moaning about how bad their lives are/no one loves me/my job is crap/Americans are horrible people/I can't make any friends etc etc.
Walk away from the keyboard, because it is not your best friend, and go and interact with life instead.You'll be amazed at the results.
Nov 19th 2012, 1:30 pm
#632
Banned
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,065
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
And that, good sir, is the most pertinent point of all 42 pages.
I like to pop into this forum occasionally to see if there's anything of interest or anything I can help a poster with.
And day in day out the usual suspects are moaning about how bad their lives are/no one loves me/my job is crap/Americans are horrible people/I can't make any friends etc etc.
Walk away from the keyboard, because it is not your best friend, and go and interact with life instead.You'll be amazed at the results.
I like to pop into this forum occasionally to see if there's anything of interest or anything I can help a poster with.
And day in day out the usual suspects are moaning about how bad their lives are/no one loves me/my job is crap/Americans are horrible people/I can't make any friends etc etc.
Walk away from the keyboard, because it is not your best friend, and go and interact with life instead.You'll be amazed at the results.
Nov 19th 2012, 1:42 pm
#633
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Posts: 6,498
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
I would disagree with your statement that "most Americans travel", unless you are referring to domestic travel. Out of my group of friends, I believe only 2 of us have passports: myself and one of my other female friends. Most people I know a)don't have the money for overseas travel (esp if the currency is not in USD favor) and b)don't have the vacation time to travel c)they usually don't go anywhere even when they do take a few days off because of lack of money or d)have no desire to travel overseas at all.
This obviously doesn't apply to every American though. I'm sure many Americans would love to travel more, if they had the vacation time and the money to do so. And just as an FYI, I am one of the native born Americans that hang out on here, so I'm not saying these things from an outsider's perspective.
This obviously doesn't apply to every American though. I'm sure many Americans would love to travel more, if they had the vacation time and the money to do so. And just as an FYI, I am one of the native born Americans that hang out on here, so I'm not saying these things from an outsider's perspective.
That is a very important observation. There is a certain amount of built-in advantage you gain from living in a hemisphere where several countries share boarders together and especially if those countries have different cultures and traditions. Usually in those type of societies the people in those nations are more open to the thinking of their neighbors and can gain a knowledge base from that close proximity. Another factor is how dominant a particular country is and the influence it has on the boardering countries. One of the biggest reasons why America is more inward looking than outward looking is because we exert far more influence on our neighbors(movies,music,wealth,& military) than the other way around. And those neighbors tend to follow the lead of America.When most people are telling you how great you are, and they go so far as to model their system of government and society after yours, that too can make you listen and think in a singular fashion. Of course this is not true of all Americans.Most Americans travel and quite a few would love to holiday outside north america. But the travel distance, cost and some of the anti-Americanism is an impediment. The Americans that do travel to South America, Asia or Europe do gain knowledge that is helpful in bridging divides. I can not highlight enough the effects Anti-Americanism have on why more americans don't visit Europe. Never will forget being told how Brits might not be that happy to see Americans in the UK.And that was from a few Americans that had a bad experience while in Europe. That can scare people off and in turn limit personal knowledge about other cultures.
Nov 19th 2012, 2:36 pm
#634
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,065
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
I would disagree with your statement that "most Americans travel", unless you are referring to domestic travel. Out of my group of friends, I believe only 2 of us have passports: myself and one of my other female friends. Most people I know a)don't have the money for overseas travel (esp if the currency is not in USD favor) and b)don't have the vacation time to travel c)they usually don't go anywhere even when they do take a few days off because of lack of money or d)have no desire to travel overseas at all.
This obviously doesn't apply to every American though. I'm sure many Americans would love to travel more, if they had the vacation time and the money to do so. And just as an FYI, I am one of the native born Americans that hang out on here, so I'm not saying these things from an outsider's perspective.
This obviously doesn't apply to every American though. I'm sure many Americans would love to travel more, if they had the vacation time and the money to do so. And just as an FYI, I am one of the native born Americans that hang out on here, so I'm not saying these things from an outsider's perspective.
Nov 19th 2012, 3:12 pm
#635
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
As most of my American friends work for themselves, I am not very aware of the lifestyle of the average American worker. I was surprised, when I went for a job interview in London, that I would be allowed 6 weeks paid holiday a year. (The Japanese have 1 week/year). Since when has the average paid vacation time become 2 weeks in the States? Is this a recent development? I wonder why there is such a disparity between the States and Europe?
As for the disparity, I really don't know. I haven't spent enough time in Europe to understand how that evolved. As for the US, because you have so little in the way of worker's protection (compared to Europe), I think a lot of people are afraid to take too much vacay time for fear the company will just fire them. Or some people just don't know how to relax and have fun.
Last edited by Bluegrass Lass; Nov 19th 2012 at 3:28 pm.
Nov 19th 2012, 3:21 pm
#636
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
I wouldn't say the average vacation time in the US is 2 weeks. I know some folks that don't have any at all, some that only receive 1 week after working for a year, and some that may only 2 weeks after working for 5years. In case you didn't know, there is no federal requirement for a company to give employees any vacation time, unlike the UK.
As for the disparity, I really don't know. I haven't spent enough time in Europe to understand how that evolved. As for the US, because you have so little in the way of worker's protection (compared to Europe), I think a lot of people are afraid to take too much vacay time for fear the company will just fire them. Or some people just don't know how to relax and have fun.
As for the disparity, I really don't know. I haven't spent enough time in Europe to understand how that evolved. As for the US, because you have so little in the way of worker's protection (compared to Europe), I think a lot of people are afraid to take too much vacay time for fear the company will just fire them. Or some people just don't know how to relax and have fun.
Nov 19th 2012, 3:36 pm
#637
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Joined: Jan 2008
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
I would disagree with your statement that "most Americans travel", unless you are referring to domestic travel. Out of my group of friends, I believe only 2 of us have passports: myself and one of my other female friends. Most people I know a)don't have the money for overseas travel (esp if the currency is not in USD favor) and b)don't have the vacation time to travel c)they usually don't go anywhere even when they do take a few days off because of lack of money or d)have no desire to travel overseas at all.
This obviously doesn't apply to every American though. I'm sure many Americans would love to travel more, if they had the vacation time and the money to do so. And just as an FYI, I am one of the native born Americans that hang out on here, so I'm not saying these things from an outsider's perspective.
This obviously doesn't apply to every American though. I'm sure many Americans would love to travel more, if they had the vacation time and the money to do so. And just as an FYI, I am one of the native born Americans that hang out on here, so I'm not saying these things from an outsider's perspective.
Nov 19th 2012, 4:00 pm
#638
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
So, we are lucky and we are well paid - affordability is not an issue. Even so, the majority of my US-based colleagues balk at the thought of travelling anywhere outside the US for work or pleasure. As I work in a 40/60% US/EU team, it isn't an issue, but it is far more usual to see an EU-based employee travelling to the US than it is to see a US-based employee travelling anywhere.
Yes, for many it may be price of flights, but I think it is far more to do with attitude.
Being frank, this lack-of-world perspective is a huge problem at work, and is actually part of the reason that I am here on assignment. The company is enlightened enough to believe that it needs to rotate people between geographies if the products we build are going to have global appeal.
Nov 19th 2012, 4:02 pm
#639
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Why bother travel to another country for a few days and blow your years allowance of PTO when you've got the public holidays, sick days and the odd day waiting around for the utility person kind of thing.
It's much easier to see value in travel when the expensive flight can be made worth it by a 2 week stay, knowing you've got another couple of weeks off at Christmas and then over Easter if you wanted for a short break away to the countryside or to lounge about.
Nov 19th 2012, 4:06 pm
#640
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Yes, and this again seems to be the "Birds of a Feather" problem. One of the things we LOVE about going away is that the food will be unusual, the language different, the customs different. Even driving on the "wrong side of the road" is fun ! Yes, we ARE that sad.
For Americans, they seem to want to go to somewhere where everything is the same. And usually, they seek it out so that their experience of the foreign place is essentially America Abroad.
For Americans, they seem to want to go to somewhere where everything is the same. And usually, they seek it out so that their experience of the foreign place is essentially America Abroad.
Nov 19th 2012, 4:17 pm
#641
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
At least not everyone is like that
Nov 19th 2012, 4:24 pm
#642
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Sort of, but there seems to me something particularly isolated about visiting Europe but doing so from a cruise ship.
Nov 19th 2012, 4:28 pm
#643
Banned
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 329
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Yes, and this again seems to be the "Birds of a Feather" problem. One of the things we LOVE about going away is that the food will be unusual, the language different, the customs different. Even driving on the "wrong side of the road" is fun ! Yes, we ARE that sad.
For Americans, they seem to want to go to somewhere where everything is the same. And usually, they seek it out so that their experience of the foreign place is essentially America Abroad.
For Americans, they seem to want to go to somewhere where everything is the same. And usually, they seek it out so that their experience of the foreign place is essentially America Abroad.
I think the appeal of cruising for Americans is that as few of them have the sort of paid holidays that are commonplace in the UK they have a short amount of time and don't want to waste any of it travelling unnecessarily.
And actually this thing about food on cruises being typically American doesn't hold true either - the only cruise I have been on out of America had a huge variety of food from all manner of world regions.
Far from being bland you could eat considerably better on board than in many countries I have visited where the so-called local food has really been three or four different ways of doing stuff with rice - and all the usual Western fast food options.
Have you actually been on an American cruise ship ? I was hugely impressed with the one I went on.
Nov 19th 2012, 4:30 pm
#644
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
But - that tends to be one sector of the travelling public. That is the mass tourism market. The last stats that I read was that at least two-thirds of the British public take one or more foreign holidays per year - not all will be Benidorm.
I can't remember what the figures are, but I was stunned by how few Americans actually hold a passport.
Even just the knowledge that there is a world outside helps acceptance, IMHO.
Nov 19th 2012, 4:34 pm
#645
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,065
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Yes, and this again seems to be the "Birds of a Feather" problem. One of the things we LOVE about going away is that the food will be unusual, the language different, the customs different. Even driving on the "wrong side of the road" is fun ! Yes, we ARE that sad.
For Americans, they seem to want to go to somewhere where everything is the same. And usually, they seek it out so that their experience of the foreign place is essentially America Abroad.
For Americans, they seem to want to go to somewhere where everything is the same. And usually, they seek it out so that their experience of the foreign place is essentially America Abroad.
As everyone is so tired from working, they tend to go on group tours and eat Japanese food all the time. Westerners seem aggressive and threatening so they stick to themselves.
There are of course exceptions.
With the British Empire, I think more people in Britain were exposed to different culture.