Perhaps that's why he suggests she reconsider.

At some point in the near future, he will change his mind and beg you to return. Don't fall into the trap.

Ian

I wish you all the best for the future you will need the support of family and friends and I'm sure you will have that back in the UK in abundance.

This lady has no connection to the US other than her (soon to be ex-) husband.

She has a life back in the UK which she will be able to pick up again more or less where she left it just a few months ago.

From what she has posted I cannot glean any desire to live in the US if it weren't for her marriage.

So why on earth would she want to hang around to qualify for a re-entry permit

Sometimes bridges just cry out to be burnt!

And sometimes we just kick ourselves for having burnt them, especially when it would have been so easy to leave one standing that would be difficult to re-build.

Regards, JEff

yes i may want to return to the usa at some point who knows, but my husband stated as part of the divorce agreement, which i have not signed to give up my married name which of course would effect my green card and i have no desire to change it right now.

You do NOT have to change your name as part of a divorce agreement. It is offered as a courtesy sometimes to allow the woman to "take back" her maiden name without a separate name change proceeding - but you do not have to do so. For example, I have not taken my estranged husband's last name, but if tomorrow I wanted to - I could through the proper court procedure. YOU are in control of your surname!

This kind of tactic from your husband makes me really want you to stay in the US and see the divorce through.

If you even think you might wish to retain your PR status, then let us know and we'll give you guidance on how to try to do that.

thank you

Conditional, right now he's still on the hook to support you I believe.

Your husband seems to be stating a lots of things. If you say yes to all of them, he'll get his way. But it's quite okay for you (or preferably your lawyer) to say no to them.

A name change won't affect your green card -- your husband might believe it will but then I doubt he understands much about immigration anyway. However, leaving the US is much more likely to affect your green card. Some folks believe that because their green card is valid for X years, then they're good as a permenant resident for that length of time. This is simply not true.

m,

So what? Don't let him push you around. Let me repeat, "You should make the choice that's right for you, not him" If you're going to return to using your previous name, do so because it's what you want to do.

Change your green card when you are ready to. You can use two different names for different purposes, if you wish, as long as it's not for illegal purposes. Many people do. My wife does.

Regards, JEff

You know all this because... ?
She's been here nearly a year, and ironically posts after you that she might like to come back in the future.

We've certainly read enough posts from people who change their minds after the shock of their immediate situation wears off. I know you don't like it here, but you don't have to push her out the door too.

muni, I'm sorry for talking 'about' you vs 'to' you. As I said in my first post, you don't have to make any permanent decisions right this minute, and you don't have to justify it to any of us here.

Also, changing your surname won't invalidate your green card, and you can use whichever name you choose. He can certainly opt to make that a condition of the divorce request but it really speaks further to his state of mind.
You posted about selling your house before you left the UK; I'd be very concerned about squaring your finances, in your position.

My first wife kept my last name... even to this day - and we've been divorced for nearly 20 years. My current wife kept her first husband's last name... and they've been divorced for 18 years. As long as your intent is not to defraud, you can call yourself whatever you want.

Your husband is playing mind games with you... don't fall into the trap.

Repeat the mantra... don't fall into the trap.

Ian

This last request - that you ditch your surname - and the fact that your husband left the house - makes me very suspicious that another woman is involved.

If this is true you would need to check Oregon law. Adultery is a prejudicial factor in division of assets in TEXAS - in your favour in this case.

This is simply my read of things based upon experience and I feel compelled to tell you things you may not know and may wish to consider.

I believe she is in Alaska.

I used my first husband's last name for 27 years after our divorce. It is clearly stated in my divorce decree that I can revert to my maiden name if I chose. I chose not to.