OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Feb 7th 2012, 11:59 am
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
I am, Gab but even if I stay, I want to sell my home and downsize so the process of getting rid of stuff will be needed anyway.
I've never really talked about "my story" on here before but I have a son on Vancouver Island who has drug and alcohol addiction issues and I think I have always been waiting for him to be on stable footing but I have spent about the last 30+ years of my life dealing with his father's alcoholism and my son's problems that I now think I need to enjoy the twilight years of my life how I see fit. It's been a nightmare. Time for me to rebuild my life and have some fun and that is looking like England I think.
When I read of people who are worried about leaving children behind, I always think to myself that they have nothing to worry about, at least their children can visit them in the UK but it will be a while before my son can get a passport. I have just reached a point where I have had enough.
So I shall go though the motions and see how I feel as I go along. I know I'm very back and forth on this.
I've never really talked about "my story" on here before but I have a son on Vancouver Island who has drug and alcohol addiction issues and I think I have always been waiting for him to be on stable footing but I have spent about the last 30+ years of my life dealing with his father's alcoholism and my son's problems that I now think I need to enjoy the twilight years of my life how I see fit. It's been a nightmare. Time for me to rebuild my life and have some fun and that is looking like England I think.
When I read of people who are worried about leaving children behind, I always think to myself that they have nothing to worry about, at least their children can visit them in the UK but it will be a while before my son can get a passport. I have just reached a point where I have had enough.
So I shall go though the motions and see how I feel as I go along. I know I'm very back and forth on this.
What sadness and difficulty you must have endured.
All the very best on the next phase, whichever direction works out to be the best for you...
Tina
Feb 7th 2012, 4:13 pm
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Hi everyone, just a quick check in, back here in NH, it is as if I was never away, been back almost a week and feel like a celeb! been out every night and my friends are all so happy. My girls are happy (and well behaved) too I think my 6 months away helped them to mature a lot.
The house was in a good way but needed a mums touch, but my girls have done well. my ex is away on a trip so i am staying at the home for this week, feels weird and almost like I am still married and living here.
I have emailed trotty and hoping for a reply as I would like to go see her.
Rodney I also have nothing but good to say about my experience so far with NHS.. I am in need of some surgery and it is all going along nicely. Just waiting to see how long the apt takes.
Was sent a colon screening test in the mail two days after i turned 60. and had an apt for a mammogram. had a root canal done too, one i have been needing for months but could not afford here.
bandrui with out going in to too much I know exactly what you are going through....exactly, been there done it.
Big hugs xx
The house was in a good way but needed a mums touch, but my girls have done well. my ex is away on a trip so i am staying at the home for this week, feels weird and almost like I am still married and living here.
I have emailed trotty and hoping for a reply as I would like to go see her.
Rodney I also have nothing but good to say about my experience so far with NHS.. I am in need of some surgery and it is all going along nicely. Just waiting to see how long the apt takes.
Was sent a colon screening test in the mail two days after i turned 60. and had an apt for a mammogram. had a root canal done too, one i have been needing for months but could not afford here.
bandrui with out going in to too much I know exactly what you are going through....exactly, been there done it.
Big hugs xx
Feb 7th 2012, 4:47 pm
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Jasper, you called me daft! Do you know how long I`ve waited for that lovely British word? Thank you!
Feb 7th 2012, 9:34 pm
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Tina and Charleygirl 
, thank you so much for your kind words. I can't explain how much that meant to me... really warmed my heart. Feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment. Trying to get myself to a place where I can deal with the mountain of things that need taking care of. Definitely in the mood to get rid of stuff.
, thank you so much for your kind words. I can't explain how much that meant to me... really warmed my heart. Feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment. Trying to get myself to a place where I can deal with the mountain of things that need taking care of. Definitely in the mood to get rid of stuff.
Feb 7th 2012, 10:04 pm
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
bandrui thanks for telling us this bit of background which, first of all, reminds us that we can never know the issues others are grappling with--many have wondered if or when you're going back, why the hesitation etc--here we see yet again that things are often more complex than they seem.
What sadness and difficulty you must have endured.
All the very best on the next phase, whichever direction works out to be the best for you...
Tina
What sadness and difficulty you must have endured.
All the very best on the next phase, whichever direction works out to be the best for you...
Tina
I hope you find peace.
Feb 7th 2012, 11:10 pm
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Am I finally starting to feel that I belong hear? well shucks I think its happened, it feels good to be home, and good to be with Me Mum and family, absolutely SMASHING, never felt so happy in my life as I feel now Im home, retired, stress free, and just loving every minute of every day, Im even starting to laugh much easier now, I feel relaxed, and a real sense of actually belonging somewhere, my sense of humor is starting to come back too, that had been missing for quite a while,
If anyone thinks that this is the time in there life to make the move back home AND circumstances dont stop you ----- then I recommend so strongly just make the decision and do it, I really didn't have a clue what I was missing all these years, you really never can you know ---- not just coming back for little holidays every so often, ---- its not until you actually have lived here for at least 6 months that you even start to get it!!! and then this brand new world that you have made for yourself just starts to open up and shine like the sun on a beautiful day, its really hard to explain but then as the months pass into your first year you just feel different, better, happy, relaxed, you feel yourself actually starting to fit in and you love it!!!! to sum it up you start to (feel yourself) you know like before you left home all those decades ago to live in your adopted country, or perhaps say you were within your first few years of living in that country, like wherever you lived like Oz, Canada or the U.S. or somewhere else, do you remember in the first few years that feeling you had, that wonderful excitement of being young and full of life in a new land not knowing what your future has in store for you, ----- well that feeling comes back when we come back home, but dont expect to feel that way right away cause you wont, a little time has to pass first,
everyone follow your dream and just keep it alive no matter what,
Good luck,
and take care,
Rodney.
Feb 7th 2012, 11:20 pm
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Hi everyone, just a quick check in, back here in NH, it is as if I was never away, been back almost a week and feel like a celeb! been out every night and my friends are all so happy. My girls are happy (and well behaved) too I think my 6 months away helped them to mature a lot.
The house was in a good way but needed a mums touch, but my girls have done well. my ex is away on a trip so i am staying at the home for this week, feels weird and almost like I am still married and living here.
I have emailed trotty and hoping for a reply as I would like to go see her.
Rodney I also have nothing but good to say about my experience so far with NHS.. I am in need of some surgery and it is all going along nicely. Just waiting to see how long the apt takes.
Was sent a colon screening test in the mail two days after i turned 60. and had an apt for a mammogram. had a root canal done too, one i have been needing for months but could not afford here.
bandrui with out going in to too much I know exactly what you are going through....exactly, been there done it.
Big hugs xx
The house was in a good way but needed a mums touch, but my girls have done well. my ex is away on a trip so i am staying at the home for this week, feels weird and almost like I am still married and living here.
I have emailed trotty and hoping for a reply as I would like to go see her.
Rodney I also have nothing but good to say about my experience so far with NHS.. I am in need of some surgery and it is all going along nicely. Just waiting to see how long the apt takes.
Was sent a colon screening test in the mail two days after i turned 60. and had an apt for a mammogram. had a root canal done too, one i have been needing for months but could not afford here.
bandrui with out going in to too much I know exactly what you are going through....exactly, been there done it.
Big hugs xx
Denise great to know you arrived there safely and that you are enjoying your time with your kids, when are you coming home again, dont forget we have to get together in Chichester, you can get there on the train easy, half hour from Portsmouth, I will show you the best pastie shop in all of England, they are monsters and sooooo tasty
it will be my treat, and I will even buy you a nice cup of tea to go with it 
Rodney.
Feb 8th 2012, 12:18 am
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Yes it is a nice word isn't it, and no kidding its the first time Ive used it since Ive been home, it just came out as natural as running water, Hmmmm
Am I finally starting to feel that I belong hear? well shucks I think its happened, it feels good to be home, and good to be with Me Mum and family, absolutely SMASHING, never felt so happy in my life as I feel now Im home, retired, stress free, and just loving every minute of every day, Im even starting to laugh much easier now, I feel relaxed, and a real sense of actually belonging somewhere, my sense of humor is starting to come back too, that had been missing for quite a while,
If anyone thinks that this is the time in there life to make the move back home AND circumstances dont stop you ----- then I recommend so strongly just make the decision and do it, I really didn't have a clue what I was missing all these years, you really never can you know ---- not just coming back for little holidays every so often, ---- its not until you actually have lived here for at least 6 months that you even start to get it!!! and then this brand new world that you have made for yourself just starts to open up and shine like the sun on a beautiful day, its really hard to explain but then as the months pass into your first year you just feel different, better, happy, relaxed, you feel yourself actually starting to fit in and you love it!!!! to sum it up you start to (feel yourself) you know like before you left home all those decades ago to live in your adopted country, or perhaps say you were within your first few years of living in that country, like wherever you lived like Oz, Canada or the U.S. or somewhere else, do you remember in the first few years that feeling you had, that wonderful excitement of being young and full of life in a new land not knowing what your future has in store for you, ----- well that feeling comes back when we come back home, but dont expect to feel that way right away cause you wont, a little time has to pass first,
everyone follow your dream and just keep it alive no matter what,
Good luck,
and take care,
Rodney.
Am I finally starting to feel that I belong hear? well shucks I think its happened, it feels good to be home, and good to be with Me Mum and family, absolutely SMASHING, never felt so happy in my life as I feel now Im home, retired, stress free, and just loving every minute of every day, Im even starting to laugh much easier now, I feel relaxed, and a real sense of actually belonging somewhere, my sense of humor is starting to come back too, that had been missing for quite a while,
If anyone thinks that this is the time in there life to make the move back home AND circumstances dont stop you ----- then I recommend so strongly just make the decision and do it, I really didn't have a clue what I was missing all these years, you really never can you know ---- not just coming back for little holidays every so often, ---- its not until you actually have lived here for at least 6 months that you even start to get it!!! and then this brand new world that you have made for yourself just starts to open up and shine like the sun on a beautiful day, its really hard to explain but then as the months pass into your first year you just feel different, better, happy, relaxed, you feel yourself actually starting to fit in and you love it!!!! to sum it up you start to (feel yourself) you know like before you left home all those decades ago to live in your adopted country, or perhaps say you were within your first few years of living in that country, like wherever you lived like Oz, Canada or the U.S. or somewhere else, do you remember in the first few years that feeling you had, that wonderful excitement of being young and full of life in a new land not knowing what your future has in store for you, ----- well that feeling comes back when we come back home, but dont expect to feel that way right away cause you wont, a little time has to pass first,
everyone follow your dream and just keep it alive no matter what,
Good luck,
and take care,
Rodney.
Living in the US is scary but you get use to it.
All people need is a big TV and a car and the McDonalds and they are sedated.
Seriously Rodney I'm glad you are settling in. You thought you were settled in months ago but the more time passes the more you appreciate being home 'in that sweet and precious land of England'.
Feb 8th 2012, 12:35 am
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
https://mail-attachment.googleuserco..._asIk_mLoPRfYI
I'm not saying Obama is bad but he sure spends the peoples borrowed money like every other previous American president.
I'm not saying Obama is bad but he sure spends the peoples borrowed money like every other previous American president.
Feb 8th 2012, 1:26 am
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
If anyone thinks that this is the time in there life to make the move back home AND circumstances dont stop you ----- then I recommend so strongly just make the decision and do it, I really didn't have a clue what I was missing all these years, you really never can you know ---- not just coming back for little holidays every so often, ---- its not until you actually have lived here for at least 6 months that you even start to get it!!! and then this brand new world that you have made for yourself just starts to open up and shine like the sun on a beautiful day, its really hard to explain but then as the months pass into your first year you just feel different, better, happy, relaxed, you feel yourself actually starting to fit in and you love it!!!! to sum it up you start to (feel yourself) you know like before you left home all those decades ago to live in your adopted country, or perhaps say you were within your first few years of living in that country, like wherever you lived like Oz, Canada or the U.S. or somewhere else, do you remember in the first few years that feeling you had, that wonderful excitement of being young and full of life in a new land not knowing what your future has in store for you, ----- well that feeling comes back when we come back home, but dont expect to feel that way right away cause you wont, a little time has to pass first,
everyone follow your dream and just keep it alive no matter what,
One thing you said really rung true for me just now, which is recapturing that feeling of being young and full of hope. Even though we're not there yet, my husband and I definitely have felt that this last few weeks. We're making plans for our new life, and looking forward to day trips and family visits and parties. And every time I post something on Facebook about going home, another old friend or cousin comes out of the woodwork and asks to get together for coffee or lunch, so that I'm starting to see how much is waiting for us back home. The end result is this bubbling feeling of anticipation and excitement, and I haven't had that for such a long time.
Today on Skype, my mum and I were planning a weekend in York this summer at a family history conference. It was so nice to say to her 'you can come over and stay with us for a few days.'
Honestly, I'm happy and excited now, so I can't even imagine what it feels like when you're there and things start falling into place. Good for you!
How's your mum doing with her recovery?
Feb 8th 2012, 1:35 am
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
I am, Gab but even if I stay, I want to sell my home and downsize so the process of getting rid of stuff will be needed anyway.
I've never really talked about "my story" on here before but I have a son on Vancouver Island who has drug and alcohol addiction issues and I think I have always been waiting for him to be on stable footing but I have spent about the last 30+ years of my life dealing with his father's alcoholism and my son's problems that I now think I need to enjoy the twilight years of my life how I see fit. It's been a nightmare. Time for me to rebuild my life and have some fun and that is looking like England I think.
When I read of people who are worried about leaving children behind, I always think to myself that they have nothing to worry about, at least their children can visit them in the UK but it will be a while before my son can get a passport. I have just reached a point where I have had enough.
So I shall go though the motions and see how I feel as I go along. I know I'm very back and forth on this.
I've never really talked about "my story" on here before but I have a son on Vancouver Island who has drug and alcohol addiction issues and I think I have always been waiting for him to be on stable footing but I have spent about the last 30+ years of my life dealing with his father's alcoholism and my son's problems that I now think I need to enjoy the twilight years of my life how I see fit. It's been a nightmare. Time for me to rebuild my life and have some fun and that is looking like England I think.
When I read of people who are worried about leaving children behind, I always think to myself that they have nothing to worry about, at least their children can visit them in the UK but it will be a while before my son can get a passport. I have just reached a point where I have had enough.
So I shall go though the motions and see how I feel as I go along. I know I'm very back and forth on this.
It nice of you to open up and tell us whats been going on in your life, most of us have some kind of struggle, Life is too short and we all deserve to be happy, I think youve given enough, its time to move on an enjoy yourself...
Feb 8th 2012, 1:43 am
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Dont mention doctors visits! I`m so out of pocket with doctors who insist on being paid upfront and then the insurance company reimburses them, thus they get paid twice and I have to fight to get the money back!
I hate the US healthcare system
And yes, I`m well aware I`m one of the lucky ones!!!!!!!!
I hate the US healthcare system
And yes, I`m well aware I`m one of the lucky ones!!!!!!!!
Feb 8th 2012, 5:55 am
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
.Rodney, what a great post. I am going to remember these words:
"do you remember in the first few years that feeling you had, that wonderful excitement of being young and full of life in a new land not knowing what your future has in store for you, ----- well that feeling comes back when we come back home".
So glad to hear your happiness. It inspires us all.
p.s. I have always felt that we British folk are made of resilient stuff and have what it takes to come through hard times as we have throughout history. Don't you think ?
Last edited by bandrui; Feb 8th 2012 at 5:59 am.
Feb 8th 2012, 7:49 am
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Hi everyone, just a quick check in, back here in NH, it is as if I was never away, been back almost a week and feel like a celeb! been out every night and my friends are all so happy. My girls are happy (and well behaved) too I think my 6 months away helped them to mature a lot.
The house was in a good way but needed a mums touch, but my girls have done well. my ex is away on a trip so i am staying at the home for this week, feels weird and almost like I am still married and living here.
I have emailed trotty and hoping for a reply as I would like to go see her.
Rodney I also have nothing but good to say about my experience so far with NHS.. I am in need of some surgery and it is all going along nicely. Just waiting to see how long the apt takes.
Was sent a colon screening test in the mail two days after i turned 60. and had an apt for a mammogram. had a root canal done too, one i have been needing for months but could not afford here.
bandrui with out going in to too much I know exactly what you are going through....exactly, been there done it.
Big hugs xx
The house was in a good way but needed a mums touch, but my girls have done well. my ex is away on a trip so i am staying at the home for this week, feels weird and almost like I am still married and living here.
I have emailed trotty and hoping for a reply as I would like to go see her.
Rodney I also have nothing but good to say about my experience so far with NHS.. I am in need of some surgery and it is all going along nicely. Just waiting to see how long the apt takes.
Was sent a colon screening test in the mail two days after i turned 60. and had an apt for a mammogram. had a root canal done too, one i have been needing for months but could not afford here.
bandrui with out going in to too much I know exactly what you are going through....exactly, been there done it.
Big hugs xx
Great to hear you're enjoying your visit...but also that even if other things in the UK were difficult, the NHS side of things was good.
I wonder if, at the end of this visit, you'll feel torn about going back again? Well, you will feel torn, all of us with children to leave behind do, but will you still feel the UK is the right place for you to be? However, I know you have a job and a flat and a whole life waiting there....
It does sound as if your being away helped everyone to appreciate you more, in your absence!
I do hope you manage to get in touch with Trotty. Her silence is worrying us all.
Tina.
Feb 8th 2012, 9:34 am
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
I think that's fantastic Gab. How very exciting. I too am going through "stuff" and there won't be a lot I want to keep. Even things I thought I wanted to keep, I now feel that I shall let go of. Even my Grandmothers oak dining table and mahogany china cabinet. I do have a few pieces of original art that I shall keep though, my cedar chest and a fair number of books, studio supplies, etc.
It will be a long process for me. Some things will be trucked to the dump, some taken to the thrift shop but I would like to try and sell some things too.
I am looking forward to buying some carefully chosen pieces at the other end and starting a new life... at my age!
I am looking forward to your posts about life in Dorset. All the best!
It will be a long process for me. Some things will be trucked to the dump, some taken to the thrift shop but I would like to try and sell some things too.
I am looking forward to buying some carefully chosen pieces at the other end and starting a new life... at my age!
I am looking forward to your posts about life in Dorset. All the best!
exciting when I can finally move into my new flat in Torquay and buy new
furniture etc. A new life, new surroundings, and a totally new home. A little daunting perhaps, but better to be doing this than vegetating in South Australia and wondering what could have been.