OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Jul 18th 2011, 7:32 pm
#8163
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Well said Tina and to be honest this past week has been pretty awful, maybe because it was my youngest grand-daughter's birthday on Thursday, she turned 13 and I am not there, though in reality I would probably only have seen here for an hour that night and would have had to have driven back for work anyway, and the girls were with their father this weekend so they wouldn't have been at home........still..........I had a really awful weekend and to be honest I didn't talk to a soul until this morning at work, my mum rang but I didn't answer the phone as I just didn't feel like idle chat.........
The weather was atrocious this weekend too, which didn't help.......anyway the black dog seems to be on his way back to his kennel after me doing a lot of self talk to myself.
Mrs Sully, Charliegirl, Tina and all of you with kids and/or grandkids in another country, just know that it is not going to be easy........and of course I KNEW that, but some days are just so hard, not only missing them but terrible feelings of guilt..........
The weather was atrocious this weekend too, which didn't help.......anyway the black dog seems to be on his way back to his kennel after me doing a lot of self talk to myself.
Mrs Sully, Charliegirl, Tina and all of you with kids and/or grandkids in another country, just know that it is not going to be easy........and of course I KNEW that, but some days are just so hard, not only missing them but terrible feelings of guilt..........
To recognize that indeed it will not be easy.
And that feeling of guilt must be the worst...even if in our calmer moments we know we shouldn't feel guilty for following our deepest heart's need.
If in doing that we are depriving our children/grandchildren of some of our presence in their lives, of course we can't help but feel guilty....perhaps our guilt is out of proportion to the actual amount of sorrow they feel?!!!!
Thank you for telling us....I do hope you start feeling better. And taht the weather improves, I have heard how dreadful it is at the moment.
Tina
Jul 18th 2011, 7:34 pm
#8164
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
I'm right there with you, Barb. I have really bad days sometimes, as well. And it can just creep up on me unexpectedly. The other day we were at the mall (Westfield Shopping Centre, London), in a toy shop buying a birthday present for Tony's 2-year old grandson. As we were looking at all the toys, my mind became flooded with images and thoughts of my own children and grandchildren. It was all I could do to keep from sobbing out loud.
We are still so happy to be back in England - and moments like this make me realise just how much I gave up in order to do it. I think that is part of the reason why we work so hard at ignoring the negatives and embracing the positives of being here.
Hugs to you - and everyone else going through this. x
We are still so happy to be back in England - and moments like this make me realise just how much I gave up in order to do it. I think that is part of the reason why we work so hard at ignoring the negatives and embracing the positives of being here.
Hugs to you - and everyone else going through this. x
"Embracing the positives..."...that's the spirit. Inspiring! And I'm glad you are "still so happy...." not that I am downplaying the real sorrow you feel over your children and grandchildren.
Thank you for telling us about it.
Tina
Last edited by between two worlds; Jul 18th 2011 at 7:36 pm. Reason: post was incomplete
Jul 18th 2011, 7:56 pm
#8165
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,198
Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Lovely post DDL, and it's great to see you.
"Embracing the positives..."...that's the spirit. Inspiring! And I'm glad you are "still so happy...." not that I am downplaying the real sorrow you feel over your children and grandchildren. Thank you for telling us about it.Tina
"Embracing the positives..."...that's the spirit. Inspiring! And I'm glad you are "still so happy...." not that I am downplaying the real sorrow you feel over your children and grandchildren. Thank you for telling us about it.Tina
Thanks, Tina. You're comments are always so friendly.
Honesty is always the best policy, isn't it - being honest with ourselves and being honest with others.
I really admire Jackie's honesty which hopefully will serve as a catalyst for all of us.
If we aren't honest about what it's really like once we make the move back, we're doing everyone a disservice. And this applies to all aspects of life after the move, not just emotions.
Jul 18th 2011, 8:57 pm
#8166
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
DDL...That is so true. Unless we who are moving back know about the struggles that people go through when they get home then I think it would make it much harder on us. Knowing its going to have its up's and down's makes you really think about what you are doing. Some might change their minds but there is nothing wrong with that. I think from posts by you Jackie, Barb and ED and Rodney we can see what it is really like. I have said many times dreaming about going home and making plans is nothing compared with actually doing it.
I think Jackie really makes you think twice. She was so sure it was what she wanted but once she got there and faced reality she knew it was not for her. I think it was very brave of her to come on here and tell us but her telling us about it was a great help to many.
I think Jackie really makes you think twice. She was so sure it was what she wanted but once she got there and faced reality she knew it was not for her. I think it was very brave of her to come on here and tell us but her telling us about it was a great help to many.
Jul 18th 2011, 11:03 pm
#8167
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Jul 19th 2011, 12:17 am
#8168
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Location: Now Devon
Posts: 951
Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
I can't drink soda anymore - tastes like drinking a cup of sugar! - but when we were kids, we drank Dandelion and Burdock all the time. That and lemonade - the UK kind not the American kind.
I don't even remember seeing Coca Cola until I was in my teens but maybe that's just because my mum didn't buy it.
I don't even remember seeing Coca Cola until I was in my teens but maybe that's just because my mum didn't buy it.
Interestingly some years ago when I suffered double pneumonia and couldn't keep anything down, not even water, my GP suggested Coca Cola, and amazingly it worked.
However, any of these fizzy drinks would have worked. So why wasn't I in hospital on a drip? I was my mum's carer and she also became unwell, plus with two little dogs to care for, I couldn't leave the house. Our two doctors visited us 18 times in 3 weeks, and we were provided with Meals on Wheels.
Last edited by aries; Jul 19th 2011 at 12:19 am.
Jul 19th 2011, 3:07 am
#8170
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Beeduya...I had another case of the wobbles today. My daughter called and we got chatting and I said that she was the main reason I would ever think of staying in the US. She told me that she would be content knowing that I was able to take care of myself. She would not be available all the time as she works and she said I would be stuck in on my own and no better off than I am now. I suggested that if I did not go back to the UK I could always buy a house next door to her. Her answer was "No you XXXXXX couldnt I would end up killing you"
Jul 19th 2011, 3:41 am
#8171
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
I have had some really nice emails from people who dont post but who love to read our 'goings on". I had one email from "So There". If any of you remember her she is in Ohio and wanting to move to Wales. If I understand it she must have been born in the US from a British Mother so she applied for her citizenship and just got it and will be taking her oath soon. I think she said it took 4 months. I do hope she posts as she could add alot to the forum.
She asked me to say hello to you all so I am
She asked me to say hello to you all so I am
Jul 19th 2011, 9:46 am
#8172
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Posts: 1,197
Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Thanks, Tina. You're comments are always so friendly.
Honesty is always the best policy, isn't it - being honest with ourselves and being honest with others.
I really admire Jackie's honesty which hopefully will serve as a catalyst for all of us.
If we aren't honest about what it's really like once we make the move back, we're doing everyone a disservice. And this applies to all aspects of life after the move, not just emotions.
Honesty is always the best policy, isn't it - being honest with ourselves and being honest with others.
I really admire Jackie's honesty which hopefully will serve as a catalyst for all of us.
If we aren't honest about what it's really like once we make the move back, we're doing everyone a disservice. And this applies to all aspects of life after the move, not just emotions.
Tina
Jul 19th 2011, 9:53 am
#8173
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Beeduya...I had another case of the wobbles today. My daughter called and we got chatting and I said that she was the main reason I would ever think of staying in the US. She told me that she would be content knowing that I was able to take care of myself. She would not be available all the time as she works and she said I would be stuck in on my own and no better off than I am now. I suggested that if I did not go back to the UK I could always buy a house next door to her. Her answer was "No you XXXXXX couldnt I would end up killing you"
well, there's honesty for you!!!!! Seriously, it's great that you and she can talk like this--and remember, you can always talk even across Atlantic with phones and skype. Here's an illustration of the way we, perhaps, burden our children when we move to be closer to them!
I think sometimes that planning our futures around them--moving to be nearer them and so on--is a weight on them, means then they can't feel free to,eg, move elsewhere, etc...
If they move to be nearer to US, though, then that is lovely! My dream...that we would end up in England and all kids would too, or at least in Europe!!! Impossible though, I am pretty sure.
Tina
(In other cases, for example when the older parents live an hour or so away and become ill or needy, and the adult child has to keep going back and forth, it's easier for the child if parents move closer.)
Jul 19th 2011, 12:06 pm
#8174
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Hello friends in the Over 50's thread.
We have been back in UK for over 1 year, and have now eventualy settled. I have submitted a report to the Back Home Thread.
Thanks for all your support during our transition.
I visit here very rarely now so if you have questions feel free to email me.
We have been back in UK for over 1 year, and have now eventualy settled. I have submitted a report to the Back Home Thread.
Thanks for all your support during our transition.
I visit here very rarely now so if you have questions feel free to email me.
Jul 19th 2011, 7:46 pm
#8175
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,198
Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Hello friends in the Over 50's thread. We have been back in UK for over 1 year, and have now eventualy settled. I have submitted a report to the Back Home Thread. Thanks for all your support during our transition. I visit here very rarely now so if you have questions feel free to email me.
J.J. as soon as I saw your name, I had to have a read. It's great to hear from you again. Your update on the Back Home Thread was brilliant - thank you so much for your insights.
We are currently just about at the 11-month mark, so not far behind you. We are thoroughly enjoying England for all the reasons we returned for. I would say that our standard of living isn't quite what it was in the States, but it doesn't matter: we're having Afternoon Tea this Saturday beneath a Rubens ceiling at Banqueting House in London.
May I take this opportunity to publicly thank you both for all the advice/suggestions you so openly shared during the months we were planning our own return.
Take care!