sallysimmons

Judes thanks for answering my question. What an interesting story!

It's obvious you will be happy back home - you are meant to be there, and everyone you love is there. No brainer!

Fish n Chips 56

Hello Jackie...

By now you are probably up and on your way to Manchester, even so I wish you well and hope everything pans out for you, the last year has been a roller coaster for you, I sure hope it smooth's out...

I also echo Rodney thoughts, your input is very important here, in fact I'm sure its given many of us a reality check.

Life is Journey, and your Journey isn't over yet...

Take Care and Happy Travels. Fish

between two worlds

Thanks for your story--very interesting.

Especially when you say you knew deep in your heart you didn't want to go, but didn't want to crush DH's dream....happens to many people, I suspect (I hasten to add it may, sometimes, be the husband not wanting to crush the wife's dream...).

CORNWALL!! I love it so much.....how wonderful, and good luck!

Tina.

jasper123

Judes very good post, really interesting, we love to hear peoples stories, Congrats on getting your ticket booked, good luck on the sorting and packing, it certainly is a chore and very hard work but in the end a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders cause you have sold or given to charity or just thrown out most of your worldly posesions, and from then on you start a fresh, its a great feeling,
By the way did you read my info on the S.S. and bank thing? and what do you think of it?
I will be tuning in to the next episode of your story, take care,
Rodney.

dgjamison

what part of S. Ireland?

sallysimmons

Bee and Rodney, I was thinking of you last night and thinking about my own prior international moves, and I just wanted to say hang in there.

I think you are both going through the post-move slump - that's when the initial excitement is over and the reality of building a new life sets in. It's when you start noticing all the things that annoy you about your new home, and thinking back to the things you loved about your old life. It's also when you start to feel like a fish out of water because people are making cultural references you don't understand. It can be a very depressing time - like the sadness that follows a big event you've been looking forward to forever.

Some people get depressed. Some, like me, get anxiety attacks. And some just give up and return to their old lives. Sometimes - like in Jackie's case hopefully - that ends up being the right thing to do. But sometimes it's not. I think this is why people talk about the two-year rule ... we really do need that long after making a big change to know if it has worked for us.

I hope you guys are able to stick it out for a year or two, because that's when I think you really know whether your decision was the right one. In the meantime, are there groups you could join or volunteer with as a way to meet new people? I often think that volunteering is a good way to get "out of your own head."

I hope this doesn't sound like preaching - I was just alone in the house last night for a change and had some time to think. Dangerous when I do that

charleygirl

Good Morning my friends, gonna be a hot one here today Yuck!
Judes lovely to "meet" you and read your story. Well done on booking the flights, what date do you leave?
Jackie, welcome back to your home!
Denise2 thank you for the kind words, I got an new email address and i will send it in a PM to you.
Trotty I will call you today! Sorry for dashing of the other day.
Aries, you will be okay, be strong!
hope I didnt forget anyone too many posts to catch up on, sorry.
38 days Gosh I can remember Rodney typing the same thing...........I am so behind with my plans but only next week of work and then 4 weeks to get my S@#t together aaaaaaaaaaargh.

Mallory

I agree with Sally, it's like buyer's remorse when you buy a house. You are all excited to buy it, you love it, and when you have signed the papers and moved in you start to question yourself. You start seeing things wrong with the house. You finally get over that, and realise it is the house that you want, and then you start seeing the good things about it. I agree that it will take time to properly evaluate how you feel.

jasper123

Thanks Sally,
I hope I didn't give you or anyone the impression that I was giving up on U.K. ----- not at all, I know this is where I want to be, I knew that when I made my decision to come back home after almost four decades in America,
I posted on here before I left Vegas and said that there is no doubt in my mind that the U.K. is where I want to be from now on, and I meant it, and I still feel the same way,

My main reason in coming home was to spend sometime getting to know my Mum again, and I love being here with her, and she seems to love me being here too,

Its just that I do get depressed a lot, but then I also got those feelings in the U.S. too, especially the last 2 years before I left, I was very unhappy for that last two years there, but most of my life there I (was) happy
America has its problems, but what country doesn't? but the U.S. has one heck of a lot going for it too,

And when I came home almost 8 months ago I must admit I was indeed scared, I was scared of everything, the compleat change of lifestyle is the big thing that we have to adjust to, of course its natural that we are all going to miss the country that we called home for so long, and although I feel comfortable here in U.K. it does not feel like home yet, but it will one day, we are all different and it takes some of us a lot longer to settle in to this NEW life,

And a couple of other reasons that I came home was my age, I felt that I would never be able to retire in the U.S. everyone I knew who were getting there S.S. benefits were still working well into there 70,s and I have personally worked with many in there 80,s and I know a lot of times people do keep working past retirement age just cause they feel that if they stopped work they would just waste away, ---- but most were still working cause they just had to, a lot of people are on very low S.S. payments and in a lot of cases not enough to pay there rent, especially when one is a single person and there is just one income coming in,

And another big reason is that I felt really scared to grow old in America, mostly the health care situation,
In the U.K. people here do tend to complain a lot, but as far as health care is concerned well Ive never had it so good, and in general the U.K does really look after there elderly people in a big way!!!! they really take it seriously here, there are soooooo many benefits that older people here get,

So the question for me is --- would I have come over here to live when I was in my 40,s or 50,s well to be honest probably not, I was not ready then,
I had a good career and earning a good salary plus I had great health care with the various companies that I worked for, not too many friends but I was happy and not missing England at all in those days, I used to come home and visit Mum and family every 3 or 4 years for three weeks, and always phoned Mum once a week the rest of the time.
Take care,
Rodney.

J.J

Sally, your advice is very wise. We also get the lows now we are back.

jasper123

Hello Mallory,
I have never heard it put that way before, absolutely Brilliant, thank you,
It really is like buying a house isn't it

Mummy in the foothills

I agree theres also a list somewhere of all the stages you go through when moving countries. I'll see if I can find it.

judes

Can i reply to all the nice people who responded to me, on this thread,mainly because I am so pushed for time these days and I do want to thank you Rodney on the SS and bank, Very helpful, and i do thank you.
We went into work today and told my boss I'd booked the flights, she was not impressed ! Apparrently she had a party organised for us. to be honest I won't be sorry to miss that, I hate goodbyes . I do hope she is in a friendlier mood tomorrow, I hate bad feeling, though Im sure its due to disappointment on her part. We have worked at the same place for the whole ten years and we think of them as our American family, hate to think I disappointed them.
On a brighter note, My son messaged me to choose the bathroom tiles ! Holy crap, how do I do that when I havent even seen the house Also asking should he get some second hand furniture in to see us thru ? Well I dont know, he sure is being helpful but Its a bit overwhelming. Anyway got to fly, off to do some internet shopping for tiles

aries

You are very brave to buy a house unseen, even though investors do it frequently, and I have to laugh at your son wanting you to choose the bathroom tiles! As for buying furniture, it is all a very personal experience.

I hope your boss can rearrange the party, I'm sure she will understand that your plans are more important.

judes

as we are arriving and pretty much going straight to the new house I guess we do need some furniture, I told him to keep it minimal and to buy stuff we could easily resell ! sure hope he is lisitening !! the most important thing is we get home, but I do think we may have lost our minds a bit, we work right up until the Monday,( Sept 4th no less ) got 2 days to empty the house and hand keys to new owners and then straight to the airport ! craziness