OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
Mar 2nd 2010, 5:36 pm
#1831
The Kwisatz Haderach
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: North Wales
Posts: 8,080
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
Well, I found out something interesting yesterday which may be of interest to British expats who live in the USA.
There is an organisation called the "Daughters of the British Empire" (what an awful name lol!). They are in different States (have lunches, coffee mornings etc.) but it seems that in four places (Chicago, Los Angeles, Houston and Ossining, NY) they have (subsidised) retirement homes for British expats and/or their spouses.
I have no idea if they have 'care' facilities, but here is a link:
http://www.dbesociety.org/
http://www.dbesocal.org/HomesWeSupport.htm
There is an organisation called the "Daughters of the British Empire" (what an awful name lol!). They are in different States (have lunches, coffee mornings etc.) but it seems that in four places (Chicago, Los Angeles, Houston and Ossining, NY) they have (subsidised) retirement homes for British expats and/or their spouses.
I have no idea if they have 'care' facilities, but here is a link:
http://www.dbesociety.org/
http://www.dbesocal.org/HomesWeSupport.htm
Worst waste of an afternoon ever.
One of the facilities is a proper nursing home with medical care according to the site.
Last edited by Mummy in the foothills; Mar 2nd 2010 at 5:43 pm.
Mar 2nd 2010, 5:42 pm
#1832
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,610
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
Fish n Chips.....your parents would be proud of you and your wife. Your Mum may not have been able to speak but she knew you where there. I have worked in nursing homes in both the US and the UK and there is not much difference in either one. Both take your money and both give very little back. I stand a bigger chance of ending up in one in the US than in the UK because of distances from my children and I saw how many older people ended up in homes mostly because they could not get out and do their own shopping. Lets hope your two homes sell. Waiting to hear how the housing market is going to be this coming Spring. Will probably drop the price of the house but I was reading that homes in the Uk are not going up. I am waiting to hear what is happening with the Greece. I read that it could have an impact on the UK.
Englishmum... When we lived in Calfornia a couple of years after moving to the US my husband thought it would be nice if I joined the local chapter of 'Daughters of the British Empire". When I walked into the first meeting it was like I had been taken back in time to a different era. Most of the ladies where well over 70. They where the elite, they had tea parties and most where very wealthy. I only went a couple of times.
Relocate... Congratulations on the house completion now you can really get going. So much to do. My husband is a great one for making lists.
Taffy Duck.... I think your posting said it all in one small sentence. When you mentioned being home and your brother driving the bus and then meeting for a pint later. Thats what its all about the familiar. If you have that in the country you are living in then you are lucky but I think most of us have that missing being part of something bigger not apart from it.
Once again thank you all for your good wishes. I think of myself as one of those blow up punch bags that stand on the ground. You punch it and it goes down put it keeps coming back up for more
Englishmum... When we lived in Calfornia a couple of years after moving to the US my husband thought it would be nice if I joined the local chapter of 'Daughters of the British Empire". When I walked into the first meeting it was like I had been taken back in time to a different era. Most of the ladies where well over 70. They where the elite, they had tea parties and most where very wealthy. I only went a couple of times.
Relocate... Congratulations on the house completion now you can really get going. So much to do. My husband is a great one for making lists.
Taffy Duck.... I think your posting said it all in one small sentence. When you mentioned being home and your brother driving the bus and then meeting for a pint later. Thats what its all about the familiar. If you have that in the country you are living in then you are lucky but I think most of us have that missing being part of something bigger not apart from it.
Once again thank you all for your good wishes. I think of myself as one of those blow up punch bags that stand on the ground. You punch it and it goes down put it keeps coming back up for more
Mar 2nd 2010, 7:22 pm
#1833
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 6,848
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
I was invited to one of their gatherings and tea when I had only been living here a year or so. What a bunch of snobby old biddies. I forget the rules but you can be so many generation removed as still be one of the daughters of the British empire. The tea was luke warm weak rubbish thats always served here and it came with the obligatory lemons they then tried to convince me and my MIL (born in UK too) that this was the proper way to drink tea, not the way 99% of the UK drink it, but they go on about how "British" they are
Worst waste of an afternoon ever.
One of the facilities is a proper nursing home with medical care according to the site.
Worst waste of an afternoon ever.
One of the facilities is a proper nursing home with medical care according to the site.
I guess they like to pretend they're WASPS (white anglo-saxon protestant) ie. like to give the impression that they are descendants of the pilgrims who came over on the on Mayflower 
which I think supposedly carries some 'cachet' with some Americans. You and your mum should have turned up looking like Hilda Ogden and Ena Sharples/Norah Batty (or possibly Barbara Windsor), that would've shown the old bats ...
TBH - When I'm in Singapore I've avoided the 'British Association' as they're mostly mature, snobby women who classify you depending on which 'private school' you went to in England (I went to a State school) or/and what your spouse does (I've heard it's terrible in the tiny backwater of Brunei, part of what used to be Borneo, where a lot of expats with the Shell oil company are based....there is a 'pecking order' depending on which level your husband is with his employment in the company and if he is in the wrong 'job' then you are persona non-grata...
). In Singapore the BA activities are 'sedate' and boring, (Bridge is not my cup of tea) so I prefer to join the Aussies and Kiwis in their expat association which is very lively and a lot of fun.I did try to join in some of the British Association activities, but it was a miserable experience; I went out with them on one of their walking groups and was pretty much ignored, tried a coffee morning - same again, and had one final try (thank goodness was with some other expats) for afternoon tea at an hotel and what a cliquey group the BA women were/are.
We are members of the British Club, but it's mostly younger people and their children, the snobs (long term expats mostly or v. v. senior managers and CEO's) join the Tanglin Club.
http://www.britishassociation.org.sg/index.htm (boring!)
http://www.britishclub.org.sg/Public...?id=2005000021 (nice!)
I'm amused by the "Irish Americans" around here in New Jersey, they love to fly the Irish flag although they've never been across the Atlantic.
When they tell me they're 'Irish' I always say to them "Oh, you've lost your accent, which part of Ireland were you born in?" you should see their faces lol!
We have a friend from Dublin who lives in the US and she calls them "Plastic Paddies"
Mar 2nd 2010, 7:39 pm
#1834
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 766
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
Woh! ....Welcome Tanto, Jayde and anyone else I missed...our thread is really taking off hey? just wait till AES1 gets back from her hols and sees this lot!! ho ho
ED two jobs wow..spoiled for choice now sister?...your doing the right thing at the seaside though I think..much more variety and some free shows to boot!
Oh and dancing Ed..there's bound to be dancing, cant recall the last dance I went to. Remember when we used to get dressed up to the nines to go out on a Saturday night? ha all the guys wore the suits and ties and asked nicely if you wanted to dance/ Maybe some of it is still going on..Maybe at our expat relocation centre hey?
I have been on a roller-coaster myself at the weekend with my stuff.. I can tell you. I sold loads of small things on Friday evening and then the ppl who were to buy the big stuff (arranged since last November) came over Sunday after the game with only half the cash...... thats all they had,. they said! What the....!
I told them that was not the deal. They said they heard I had to leave by end March... (Oh I get it)
To cut it short I gave them their deposit back and sold it all on Sun and Mon to friends who said they always liked the furniture
I think I learned a lesson....first come...first served only..no layaways
Here's some of the good questions:
will you sell the chair and ottoman separately and how much would you charge,
...can you deliver it,. its too far for me...
how long have you had the couch...
So now its me, the tv, the laptop, a twin mattress and one small saucepan to make tea in...for a week and a half. Its alright actually! I am nice and warm and its like camping in one's own house
Got through most of the food in the cabinets and the rest I am taking to my friends house in the City when I leave my village
Got new pics from England today of the house I am going to stay in
I have total use of the greenhouse...Rock On!!!
The garden is green with foliage and some of the flowers are starting to come through..Oh to tread on soft ground again. Its been 6 months now on the ice and snow
This morning I found a song on Youtube that I haven't heard since I was sixteen by a Brum group called the Rockin' Berries.."I'm a Poor Man's Son" it bought tears to my eyes..the instant I heard it I recalled every person who was connected with me at the time of that song
Music certainly is a trigger for the soul. I was back. I was there, in that Place. I wonder if the bands who played then are aware of how great a part they p layed in our lives when we were young?
I added it to my playlist list of 60's music that I dance to every morning after my toast ( or sometimes with toast in hand) life is great and its getting exciting now!!
ED two jobs wow..spoiled for choice now sister?...your doing the right thing at the seaside though I think..much more variety and some free shows to boot!
Oh and dancing Ed..there's bound to be dancing, cant recall the last dance I went to. Remember when we used to get dressed up to the nines to go out on a Saturday night? ha all the guys wore the suits and ties and asked nicely if you wanted to dance/ Maybe some of it is still going on..Maybe at our expat relocation centre hey?
I have been on a roller-coaster myself at the weekend with my stuff.. I can tell you. I sold loads of small things on Friday evening and then the ppl who were to buy the big stuff (arranged since last November) came over Sunday after the game with only half the cash...... thats all they had,. they said! What the....!
I told them that was not the deal. They said they heard I had to leave by end March... (Oh I get it)
To cut it short I gave them their deposit back and sold it all on Sun and Mon to friends who said they always liked the furniture
I think I learned a lesson....first come...first served only..no layaways
Here's some of the good questions:
will you sell the chair and ottoman separately and how much would you charge,
...can you deliver it,. its too far for me...
how long have you had the couch...
So now its me, the tv, the laptop, a twin mattress and one small saucepan to make tea in...for a week and a half. Its alright actually! I am nice and warm and its like camping in one's own house
Got through most of the food in the cabinets and the rest I am taking to my friends house in the City when I leave my village
Got new pics from England today of the house I am going to stay in
I have total use of the greenhouse...Rock On!!!
The garden is green with foliage and some of the flowers are starting to come through..Oh to tread on soft ground again. Its been 6 months now on the ice and snow
This morning I found a song on Youtube that I haven't heard since I was sixteen by a Brum group called the Rockin' Berries.."I'm a Poor Man's Son" it bought tears to my eyes..the instant I heard it I recalled every person who was connected with me at the time of that song
Music certainly is a trigger for the soul. I was back. I was there, in that Place. I wonder if the bands who played then are aware of how great a part they p layed in our lives when we were young?
I added it to my playlist list of 60's music that I dance to every morning after my toast ( or sometimes with toast in hand) life is great and its getting exciting now!!
Denise
Mar 2nd 2010, 8:02 pm
#1835
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,606
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
Relocateme.
"Never fit in", its not like people here treat me badly, they don't, most are extremely nice, I'm not religious which seems to be a big part of American life, I thought I was until I came to live here and saw all the religious back stabbing, it drove me away from Religion.
I've met new neighbors recently and we've been invited around for a get together, for some reason it always turns to religion and or politics and that just turns me off as I think most but not all here seem to be brainwashed, I think politics is a game between two parties and people get so involved and mislead, I think we are the pawns in their game.
I just relate to the British way of life better even though it has changed, when I go back I know will miss lots about this place as I have lived here longer than in the UK, still I want to live a life without the constant worry of medical costs, and to be surrounded by friends and good humor.
I'm sure care homes are the same the world over, You really have to ask questions, nobody volunteers information, nobody wants to be responsible or get in trouble, The turn over of help is unreal at Mums care home, people got fired all the time.
Food would be a major issue for me in a care home, it was difficult for my Mum who was proper British, her food choices were limited, The Tea, well we all know about tea, I'm still a PG Tipps fan myself.
Congrats on your home sale, The dream is becoming a reality for you, I hope the UK doesn't disappoint you, lets face it no where is perfect and things do change. I know Id love to be settling down over there right now.
Taffy Duck.
British accent, I still have my accent too, I think its an advantage in some cases. Many Americans like it and think I'm a Brit, when I go back home Brits think I'm a Yank, I had real Yorkshire twang when I got here, I had to change and slow down as people didn't understand me.
The Words, we all relate to that one, what about Aluminum, I take it all in my stride, what I do dislike is going back to the UK and find my relatives have replaced an English word with an American word, Trash instead of dustbin for instance.
trottytrue.
Thank you, seeing my Mum in a care home was an awful experience at times, My Dad thanked us constantly, he knew we were there to help no matter what, In essence we put our life here on hold here, I'm self employed so I concentrated on my parents sooner than my business, It cost me in $$$$ but Id not change a thing. "People First".
My parents home is for sale, Mine is not, Mine is filled with many of my parents possessions, I had to de clutter and make theirs more saleable, it all takes time, I just want a buyer for their home, I look after that home too, its just more work.
pcmaccallum.
Yes Mansfield is very close to Nottingham, that's the place.
We did all we could do for my parents and have no regrets, I sleep well at nights.
"Never fit in", its not like people here treat me badly, they don't, most are extremely nice, I'm not religious which seems to be a big part of American life, I thought I was until I came to live here and saw all the religious back stabbing, it drove me away from Religion.
I've met new neighbors recently and we've been invited around for a get together, for some reason it always turns to religion and or politics and that just turns me off as I think most but not all here seem to be brainwashed, I think politics is a game between two parties and people get so involved and mislead, I think we are the pawns in their game.
I just relate to the British way of life better even though it has changed, when I go back I know will miss lots about this place as I have lived here longer than in the UK, still I want to live a life without the constant worry of medical costs, and to be surrounded by friends and good humor.
I'm sure care homes are the same the world over, You really have to ask questions, nobody volunteers information, nobody wants to be responsible or get in trouble, The turn over of help is unreal at Mums care home, people got fired all the time.
Food would be a major issue for me in a care home, it was difficult for my Mum who was proper British, her food choices were limited, The Tea, well we all know about tea, I'm still a PG Tipps fan myself.
Congrats on your home sale, The dream is becoming a reality for you, I hope the UK doesn't disappoint you, lets face it no where is perfect and things do change. I know Id love to be settling down over there right now.
Taffy Duck.
British accent, I still have my accent too, I think its an advantage in some cases. Many Americans like it and think I'm a Brit, when I go back home Brits think I'm a Yank, I had real Yorkshire twang when I got here, I had to change and slow down as people didn't understand me.
The Words, we all relate to that one, what about Aluminum, I take it all in my stride, what I do dislike is going back to the UK and find my relatives have replaced an English word with an American word, Trash instead of dustbin for instance.
trottytrue.
Thank you, seeing my Mum in a care home was an awful experience at times, My Dad thanked us constantly, he knew we were there to help no matter what, In essence we put our life here on hold here, I'm self employed so I concentrated on my parents sooner than my business, It cost me in $$$$ but Id not change a thing. "People First".
My parents home is for sale, Mine is not, Mine is filled with many of my parents possessions, I had to de clutter and make theirs more saleable, it all takes time, I just want a buyer for their home, I look after that home too, its just more work.
pcmaccallum.
Yes Mansfield is very close to Nottingham, that's the place.
We did all we could do for my parents and have no regrets, I sleep well at nights.
Mar 2nd 2010, 8:21 pm
#1836
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario moving back to Wales 2011
Posts: 115
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
Just sat down with a hot mug of tetley tea and a chocolate pims..ooohhh...yummy...back in Wales I always drink yorkshire tea it's just wonderful......
cheers...Taffy
cheers...Taffy
Mar 2nd 2010, 8:36 pm
#1837
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario moving back to Wales 2011
Posts: 115
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
Talking about different use of words two years ago I was travelling through the city of Liverpool around Smith Down road and my brother called out and said look at all the purple wheelie bins...well I sure did have a laugh they were everywhere and then there was a sign on a shop...closed for refurbishment...it's hard to believe over the years how many words I've stopped using..can you imagine telling the mechanic at Canadian Tire the wheel lock is in the boot or can you take a look under the bonnet for me...lol
Maybe are friends here could come up with some more expressions so we can have a giggle .....
cheers...Taffy
Maybe are friends here could come up with some more expressions so we can have a giggle .....
cheers...Taffy
Mar 2nd 2010, 8:41 pm
#1838
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 132
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
Hello to all new posters, Its wonderful to see new faces with passion to follow their dreams.
Tanto, My Auntie returned to the UK many years ago, she was treated awful by her in laws of 30 years, It makes you wonder how people can be so cruel.
I think some Brits are just jealous, some dont have the guts to try it for themselves, I think some expect us to return wealthy handing out money to them, they have little knowledge of how difficult it is in a new world, many of us struggle to have a decent life.
I always say follow your gut feeling, it wont let you down, you could always move back to another part of Britain if you have no need to be close to relatives.
Tanto, My Auntie returned to the UK many years ago, she was treated awful by her in laws of 30 years, It makes you wonder how people can be so cruel.
I think some Brits are just jealous, some dont have the guts to try it for themselves, I think some expect us to return wealthy handing out money to them, they have little knowledge of how difficult it is in a new world, many of us struggle to have a decent life.
I always say follow your gut feeling, it wont let you down, you could always move back to another part of Britain if you have no need to be close to relatives.
to repeat some of it - I think people/relatives can't understand the expat situation as they have nothing in their experiences that gives them any incite. I was naive to think I could re-connect with them.
I was staying in the south east but I'm open to 'another part of Britain' - any suggestions? Have been watching 'Kingdom' on PBS - north Norfolk looks lovely!
I'm glad you have a 'nutty family' to go to - sounds perfect! And happy you were there for your parents - they will always be with you (you are them) and they were lucky to have you!
Hope I can send this........thank you again for your words.
Tanto
Mar 2nd 2010, 8:52 pm
#1839
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Back home now in my home town in England U.K. after 36 years in U.S. now retired and loving it,
Posts: 3,208
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
Hello Everyone,
Have been lurking here for months and following all the exciting adventures with smiles, tears and admiration! What a joy it has been to read these remarkable, courageous stories!
Ed, congratulations - you kept opening the doors!!! Rodney - loved your words of encouragement. Relocateme - inspiring.
Have not posted before as I didn't know where to start. Thought I'd better join you all before another 3 months went by......I know it will help to just to get some words and thoughts on 'paper'.
Have been in the USA for over 30 years (how is that possible?) and currently living in LalaLand! Over 3 years ago I started to get terribly homesick and decided I needed to go back to the UK. Made a couple of trips back over during that time and then a 3 month stint last September - not a good experience! My cousins (who had agreed to let me have a base with them) turned nasty and I ended up scrounging places to stay with anyone who would have me!! Finally went to Berlin for a month to stay with old friends.
Am back now and confused - don't know where I fit in or where to go. Ed and TT (I think) suggested early on to start a centre for returning ex-pats - what a brilliant idea, I thought (still do).
I feel better already getting these words out and 'talking' to you all in the future - must get over my shyness! What a terrific bunch of people you are - thank you!
Tanto
Have been lurking here for months and following all the exciting adventures with smiles, tears and admiration! What a joy it has been to read these remarkable, courageous stories!
Ed, congratulations - you kept opening the doors!!! Rodney - loved your words of encouragement. Relocateme - inspiring.
Have not posted before as I didn't know where to start. Thought I'd better join you all before another 3 months went by......I know it will help to just to get some words and thoughts on 'paper'.
Have been in the USA for over 30 years (how is that possible?) and currently living in LalaLand! Over 3 years ago I started to get terribly homesick and decided I needed to go back to the UK. Made a couple of trips back over during that time and then a 3 month stint last September - not a good experience! My cousins (who had agreed to let me have a base with them) turned nasty and I ended up scrounging places to stay with anyone who would have me!! Finally went to Berlin for a month to stay with old friends.
Am back now and confused - don't know where I fit in or where to go. Ed and TT (I think) suggested early on to start a centre for returning ex-pats - what a brilliant idea, I thought (still do).
I feel better already getting these words out and 'talking' to you all in the future - must get over my shyness! What a terrific bunch of people you are - thank you!
Tanto
Welcome to this thread, so you have been lurking for three months now Huh, so glad that you decided to post, yes you really do need to get over your shyness, we are a very nice group of people, you have nothing to be at all hesitant in anything you say we all welcome your input, you say you are currently living in la la land ------ where is that? forgive my ignorance,
Rodney.
Mar 2nd 2010, 9:14 pm
#1840
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 132
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
I have been trying to get appointment with MP for our area, but because of the election coming seems to be a difficult thing to do. Financially it would be difficult to do without help from the government although I would prefer to have this done without government input.
Welcome to all the new people, I think this thread should win some kind of award!!!!
Welcome to all the new people, I think this thread should win some kind of award!!!!
As far as the expat centre goes - what other thoughts have you had? Where would it be located (Scotland, north and south England, Wales and of course the Malta venue!!)? Would an established guest house have to be purchased and how large? Trying to get my head around it all.......have no idea what government involvement would entail (grants?). Would love some feed-back but realize that you are very busy at the moment!!
Any thoughts anyone?
Tanto
Last edited by Tanto; Mar 2nd 2010 at 9:22 pm. Reason: mis-spelled name.
Mar 2nd 2010, 9:15 pm
#1841
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 766
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
My Situation.
Before moving to the USA I lived on the borders of Notts, Derbyshire and South Yorkshire.
I want to return to the old country too, its something I've wanted to do ever since I came here in 1976, Let me be perfectly honest, I've always felt like a fish out of water, I came here at age 19 with my family, (Parents and two sisters) its not something I wanted to do, I was at that age where I was working but couldn't support myself on an apprentice wage.
Going back, its all I think about, my wife and I tried it back in 89-90 and failed after work promises fell apart over a 7 month period, My wife got a job, I was unsuccessful, My wife and I returned to the USA and our old jobs, as I flew back on that airliner disappointed in my failure I knew I wasn't quitting and would try it again, that was 20 years ago, a lot has happened since then.
We had the chance to go back to the UK in 94 when I was fired for blowing the whistle on a thieving boss, we had only been back 4 years and instead followed my parents to Oregon.
We had planned on moving back to the UK again in 2002, in 2001 we could see my Mother was not herself and decided to stay, we tried to get to the bottom of her problems but her Doctor was of little help, Mum had a stroke and other problems, they were poorly addressed by her trusty Doctor, I took her to hospital in pain the day after thanksgiving 03, I was told she had galls stones and dementia/alzheimers, Her regular Doctor had missed this but a hospital Doctor figured it out straight away, Mum had to have two Gall bladder surgeries at that time, the effect of anaesthetic on a person with Alzihmiers is drastic.
Mum left the hospital and was sent to a care facility on Christmas Eve 2003, Very Upsetting for us all, We were told she would be there for 3 - 6 weeks, after three weeks the Medical Insurance company dropped Mum saying she wasn't improving, My Wife and I weren't ready to give up and we worked hard to get Mum off a feeding tube, eating normal and walking again, it was a slow road but Mum was improving until September, soon after that Mum started to decline.
My Dad would faithfully go to see Mum twice a day everyday, My wife and I visited Mum and put her to bed every night, we did all we could do, Mum passed away January 09 aged 81, My Mum was a fighter, she really had the will to live, it was a five year struggle in the care facility, I hope I never see anything like that again, she couldn't speak to me for the last two years of her life yet she knew we were there.
My wife was a star, she did things for my Mum that she swore she could never do, when you wait for 20-30 minutes for bathroom help you finally have to be the aid, I will never be able to repay my wife for all she did, she watched over my Mum better than anyone, she's not a nurse and had never done this before but she took a real interest in my mothers care and became an aid for Mum.
Mum passed away, that left Dad, 82, he was a very capable person, an Ex Coal miner with bad knees living in his own home, totally sharp, we'd spend even more time with Dad after Mum passed, taking him out for rides to the coast on our days off, we took a trip to the UK last July to celebrate our 30th Anniversary, we took Dad along with us, In June Dad had some heath complaints, the Doctor couldn't find anything wrong, (Different Doctor to Mums) we arrived back Aug 2nd, I took him for an X-ray on the 10th, he was diagnosed with liver cancer, we admitted him to hospital soon after, the Doctor gave Dad a year to live with Chemotherapy treatment, a month without, Dad was an optimist, he started Chemotherapy and passed away on Aug 22nd, just 12 days after the cancer news, Even now it seems so hard to believe, as dumb as it sounds I thought he'd live forever, before the cancer news I was hoping to convince him to sell up and go back to live in the UK with us.
I've had my parents home for sale since October and had 5 lookers, no offers, we have a home too, so that will be two we need to sell, Dads First, Ours maybe next year???.
Why do I want to go back, I've been here 34 years and we are ok here, people treat us nice although we have no close friends like we still have in the UK, Id like to live in the UK, I still miss it, The cost of living here especially healthcare Insurance and other medical costs are outrageous, I'm scared that we wont be able to afford it much longer, Its not like we have great Insurance, High deductables and 70% coverage, I'm very scared of going bankrupt, its like rolling a dice as I see it, A Million people go medically bankrupt here every year, its just pathetic.
My wife has a mother and a BIG terrific nutty family back home, I think the world of them, it would be nice to spend some time with them, It would mean leaving my sisters behind and I really hate that, but as I said before the thought of going bankrupt scares me, That is the main issue, I do feel much safer in the UK, plus as I see it there is less religious influence, less politics, and no wall street being pushed down your throat every hour of the day, The thought of one of us ending up in a care facility here just drives me crazy.
So there it is, Thanks for reading.
Before moving to the USA I lived on the borders of Notts, Derbyshire and South Yorkshire.
I want to return to the old country too, its something I've wanted to do ever since I came here in 1976, Let me be perfectly honest, I've always felt like a fish out of water, I came here at age 19 with my family, (Parents and two sisters) its not something I wanted to do, I was at that age where I was working but couldn't support myself on an apprentice wage.
Going back, its all I think about, my wife and I tried it back in 89-90 and failed after work promises fell apart over a 7 month period, My wife got a job, I was unsuccessful, My wife and I returned to the USA and our old jobs, as I flew back on that airliner disappointed in my failure I knew I wasn't quitting and would try it again, that was 20 years ago, a lot has happened since then.
We had the chance to go back to the UK in 94 when I was fired for blowing the whistle on a thieving boss, we had only been back 4 years and instead followed my parents to Oregon.
We had planned on moving back to the UK again in 2002, in 2001 we could see my Mother was not herself and decided to stay, we tried to get to the bottom of her problems but her Doctor was of little help, Mum had a stroke and other problems, they were poorly addressed by her trusty Doctor, I took her to hospital in pain the day after thanksgiving 03, I was told she had galls stones and dementia/alzheimers, Her regular Doctor had missed this but a hospital Doctor figured it out straight away, Mum had to have two Gall bladder surgeries at that time, the effect of anaesthetic on a person with Alzihmiers is drastic.
Mum left the hospital and was sent to a care facility on Christmas Eve 2003, Very Upsetting for us all, We were told she would be there for 3 - 6 weeks, after three weeks the Medical Insurance company dropped Mum saying she wasn't improving, My Wife and I weren't ready to give up and we worked hard to get Mum off a feeding tube, eating normal and walking again, it was a slow road but Mum was improving until September, soon after that Mum started to decline.
My Dad would faithfully go to see Mum twice a day everyday, My wife and I visited Mum and put her to bed every night, we did all we could do, Mum passed away January 09 aged 81, My Mum was a fighter, she really had the will to live, it was a five year struggle in the care facility, I hope I never see anything like that again, she couldn't speak to me for the last two years of her life yet she knew we were there.
My wife was a star, she did things for my Mum that she swore she could never do, when you wait for 20-30 minutes for bathroom help you finally have to be the aid, I will never be able to repay my wife for all she did, she watched over my Mum better than anyone, she's not a nurse and had never done this before but she took a real interest in my mothers care and became an aid for Mum.
Mum passed away, that left Dad, 82, he was a very capable person, an Ex Coal miner with bad knees living in his own home, totally sharp, we'd spend even more time with Dad after Mum passed, taking him out for rides to the coast on our days off, we took a trip to the UK last July to celebrate our 30th Anniversary, we took Dad along with us, In June Dad had some heath complaints, the Doctor couldn't find anything wrong, (Different Doctor to Mums) we arrived back Aug 2nd, I took him for an X-ray on the 10th, he was diagnosed with liver cancer, we admitted him to hospital soon after, the Doctor gave Dad a year to live with Chemotherapy treatment, a month without, Dad was an optimist, he started Chemotherapy and passed away on Aug 22nd, just 12 days after the cancer news, Even now it seems so hard to believe, as dumb as it sounds I thought he'd live forever, before the cancer news I was hoping to convince him to sell up and go back to live in the UK with us.
I've had my parents home for sale since October and had 5 lookers, no offers, we have a home too, so that will be two we need to sell, Dads First, Ours maybe next year???.
Why do I want to go back, I've been here 34 years and we are ok here, people treat us nice although we have no close friends like we still have in the UK, Id like to live in the UK, I still miss it, The cost of living here especially healthcare Insurance and other medical costs are outrageous, I'm scared that we wont be able to afford it much longer, Its not like we have great Insurance, High deductables and 70% coverage, I'm very scared of going bankrupt, its like rolling a dice as I see it, A Million people go medically bankrupt here every year, its just pathetic.
My wife has a mother and a BIG terrific nutty family back home, I think the world of them, it would be nice to spend some time with them, It would mean leaving my sisters behind and I really hate that, but as I said before the thought of going bankrupt scares me, That is the main issue, I do feel much safer in the UK, plus as I see it there is less religious influence, less politics, and no wall street being pushed down your throat every hour of the day, The thought of one of us ending up in a care facility here just drives me crazy.
So there it is, Thanks for reading.
Denise
Mar 2nd 2010, 9:15 pm
#1842
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Back home now in my home town in England U.K. after 36 years in U.S. now retired and loving it,
Posts: 3,208
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
Woh! ....Welcome Tanto, Jayde and anyone else I missed...our thread is really taking off hey? just wait till AES1 gets back from her hols and sees this lot!! ho ho
ED two jobs wow..spoiled for choice now sister?...your doing the right thing at the seaside though I think..much more variety and some free shows to boot!
Oh and dancing Ed..there's bound to be dancing, cant recall the last dance I went to. Remember when we used to get dressed up to the nines to go out on a Saturday night? ha all the guys wore the suits and ties and asked nicely if you wanted to dance/ Maybe some of it is still going on..Maybe at our expat relocation centre hey?
I have been on a roller-coaster myself at the weekend with my stuff.. I can tell you. I sold loads of small things on Friday evening and then the ppl who were to buy the big stuff (arranged since last November) came over Sunday after the game with only half the cash...... thats all they had,. they said! What the....!
I told them that was not the deal. They said they heard I had to leave by end March... (Oh I get it)
To cut it short I gave them their deposit back and sold it all on Sun and Mon to friends who said they always liked the furniture
I think I learned a lesson....first come...first served only..no layaways
Here's some of the good questions:
will you sell the chair and ottoman separately and how much would you charge,
...can you deliver it,. its too far for me...
how long have you had the couch...
So now its me, the tv, the laptop, a twin mattress and one small saucepan to make tea in...for a week and a half. Its alright actually! I am nice and warm and its like camping in one's own house
Got through most of the food in the cabinets and the rest I am taking to my friends house in the City when I leave my village
Got new pics from England today of the house I am going to stay in
I have total use of the greenhouse...Rock On!!!
The garden is green with foliage and some of the flowers are starting to come through..Oh to tread on soft ground again. Its been 6 months now on the ice and snow
This morning I found a song on Youtube that I haven't heard since I was sixteen by a Brum group called the Rockin' Berries.."I'm a Poor Man's Son" it bought tears to my eyes..the instant I heard it I recalled every person who was connected with me at the time of that song
Music certainly is a trigger for the soul. I was back. I was there, in that Place. I wonder if the bands who played then are aware of how great a part they p layed in our lives when we were young?
I added it to my playlist list of 60's music that I dance to every morning after my toast ( or sometimes with toast in hand) life is great and its getting exciting now!!
ED two jobs wow..spoiled for choice now sister?...your doing the right thing at the seaside though I think..much more variety and some free shows to boot!
Oh and dancing Ed..there's bound to be dancing, cant recall the last dance I went to. Remember when we used to get dressed up to the nines to go out on a Saturday night? ha all the guys wore the suits and ties and asked nicely if you wanted to dance/ Maybe some of it is still going on..Maybe at our expat relocation centre hey?
I have been on a roller-coaster myself at the weekend with my stuff.. I can tell you. I sold loads of small things on Friday evening and then the ppl who were to buy the big stuff (arranged since last November) came over Sunday after the game with only half the cash...... thats all they had,. they said! What the....!
I told them that was not the deal. They said they heard I had to leave by end March... (Oh I get it)
To cut it short I gave them their deposit back and sold it all on Sun and Mon to friends who said they always liked the furniture
I think I learned a lesson....first come...first served only..no layaways
Here's some of the good questions:
will you sell the chair and ottoman separately and how much would you charge,
...can you deliver it,. its too far for me...
how long have you had the couch...
So now its me, the tv, the laptop, a twin mattress and one small saucepan to make tea in...for a week and a half. Its alright actually! I am nice and warm and its like camping in one's own house
Got through most of the food in the cabinets and the rest I am taking to my friends house in the City when I leave my village
Got new pics from England today of the house I am going to stay in
I have total use of the greenhouse...Rock On!!!
The garden is green with foliage and some of the flowers are starting to come through..Oh to tread on soft ground again. Its been 6 months now on the ice and snow
This morning I found a song on Youtube that I haven't heard since I was sixteen by a Brum group called the Rockin' Berries.."I'm a Poor Man's Son" it bought tears to my eyes..the instant I heard it I recalled every person who was connected with me at the time of that song
Music certainly is a trigger for the soul. I was back. I was there, in that Place. I wonder if the bands who played then are aware of how great a part they p layed in our lives when we were young?
I added it to my playlist list of 60's music that I dance to every morning after my toast ( or sometimes with toast in hand) life is great and its getting exciting now!!
I had to laugh when you said about those people showing up with just half of the money to buy your furniture
what a nerve some people have, taking advantage of the fact that you have to sell your stuff fast,Rodney.
Mar 2nd 2010, 9:17 pm
#1843
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: West Sussex.UK
Posts: 71
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
Hello Nolimits. Thank you for your welcome! Yes, thank goodness for friends!
I am in Los Angeles (previously NYC/Dallas) at present and have a few friends here - most are scattered around the country and world...
So sorry to hear your relative (what is it with relatives?!) changed their mind about sponsorship - how disappointing for you. Long holidays might do the trick - how long can you stay in the US on a visitor's visa?
Grateful for your words of support.
Tanto
I am in Los Angeles (previously NYC/Dallas) at present and have a few friends here - most are scattered around the country and world...
So sorry to hear your relative (what is it with relatives?!) changed their mind about sponsorship - how disappointing for you. Long holidays might do the trick - how long can you stay in the US on a visitor's visa?
Grateful for your words of support.
Tanto
Fish and Chips What a time you had such a worry for you. I do wish you all the best and hope the homes sell.
Mar 2nd 2010, 9:19 pm
#1844
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 132
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
Tanto,
Welcome to this thread, so you have been lurking for three months now Huh, so glad that you decided to post, yes you really do need to get over your shyness, we are a very nice group of people, you have nothing to be at all hesitant in anything you say we all welcome your input, you say you are currently living in la la land ------ where is that? forgive my ignorance,
Rodney.
Welcome to this thread, so you have been lurking for three months now Huh, so glad that you decided to post, yes you really do need to get over your shyness, we are a very nice group of people, you have nothing to be at all hesitant in anything you say we all welcome your input, you say you are currently living in la la land ------ where is that? forgive my ignorance,
Rodney.
Am working on the shyness - it's getting easier the more I post.....
Lalaland is Los Angeles - need I say more?
Tanto
Mar 2nd 2010, 9:19 pm
#1845
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Back home now in my home town in England U.K. after 36 years in U.S. now retired and loving it,
Posts: 3,208
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
You can watch all kinds on youtube or if you want the actual videos you can find them on Amazon UK and Amazon USA not too much on Amazon Canada....if you want to capture the youtube there is a way of doing that ...you can download all kinds of free programs that capture the "flv" file and then converts them to any format you wish, you just have to do some searching to find the best one...
Cheers...Taffy
Cheers...Taffy
Rodney.