Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
Jan 26th 2008, 10:39 pm
#706
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Joined: May 2007
Location: northamptonshire
Posts: 108
Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
My jugs aren't as juicy...
You are right, that's exactly the reason.
I envy you so much. I have this feeling of impending doom that I just can't shake off. I thought this would be the year we would be making plans to go home for good as it's our sons last at uni (I hope), but the goalposts keep being moved and now my OH is saying we should definitely go back in August for a visit. I don't want that, I want to go home and not have the upset of having to leave my family again. Heavens, I have waited for 11 years, how much longer I can wait is anyones guess. Aaaagh!
I wish you the very best of luck in Northants. and a safe journey home too. Please let us know how things are going when you are settled. Where in Northants. is home for you?
You are right, that's exactly the reason.
I envy you so much. I have this feeling of impending doom that I just can't shake off. I thought this would be the year we would be making plans to go home for good as it's our sons last at uni (I hope), but the goalposts keep being moved and now my OH is saying we should definitely go back in August for a visit. I don't want that, I want to go home and not have the upset of having to leave my family again. Heavens, I have waited for 11 years, how much longer I can wait is anyones guess. Aaaagh!
I wish you the very best of luck in Northants. and a safe journey home too. Please let us know how things are going when you are settled. Where in Northants. is home for you?
First it was my 17 year old who said mum I could not bare the thought of staying here another 6 months, and I felt the same but felt we needed to stay 12 months. Everyone said my 17 was old enough to go home, he could stay with my mum etc... you have to let go sometimes etc.... I agreed he could go home in Feb if he still felt the same!! But I realised I miss my family so much from UK can you imagine waving your son off too.. NO life too short we came as a family and will return as a family to sunny old Higham Ferrers!!!!! Good luck on booking your return, where are you planning to go back to?
Jan 27th 2008, 1:58 am
#707
'In limboland'
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,880
Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
Ohh I really feel for you!! I am glad we all came but most of all I am glad we all want to go home!!! My 13 year old was the one who wanted to stay but he is already searching the argos and woolworths sites and had a letter from his friends which help him look forward to going home.
First it was my 17 year old who said mum I could not bare the thought of staying here another 6 months, and I felt the same but felt we needed to stay 12 months. Everyone said my 17 was old enough to go home, he could stay with my mum etc... you have to let go sometimes etc.... I agreed he could go home in Feb if he still felt the same!! But I realised I miss my family so much from UK can you imagine waving your son off too.. NO life too short we came as a family and will return as a family to sunny old Higham Ferrers!!!!! Good luck on booking your return, where are you planning to go back to?
First it was my 17 year old who said mum I could not bare the thought of staying here another 6 months, and I felt the same but felt we needed to stay 12 months. Everyone said my 17 was old enough to go home, he could stay with my mum etc... you have to let go sometimes etc.... I agreed he could go home in Feb if he still felt the same!! But I realised I miss my family so much from UK can you imagine waving your son off too.. NO life too short we came as a family and will return as a family to sunny old Higham Ferrers!!!!! Good luck on booking your return, where are you planning to go back to?
Home for us is Hertfordshire, around the St.Albans/Potters Bar area, but I'm not sure where we'd end up as my family has started to spread out abit. I suppose it depends on the work situation. The way my OH is going, he'll be due for retirement before we get home for good!
Jan 27th 2008, 9:21 am
#708
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Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
I understand you wanting to go home as a family. One of the reasons I have stuck it out much longer than intended is to see our son through uni. We made him a promise that if he went to uni here and not back home, that we'd support him all the way. It would have cost us a small fortune for uni fees back home as he didn't qualify for any grants or student loans, having been out of the education system for more than 3 years. So here we are, final year about to start and OH is still holding out on me.
You told me never to end up like you, and I won't. You need to start thinking about yourself and what you need, that way at least the rest of your life can be in a place where you belong and not here feeling trapped and tricked and fed promises that don't materialise.
Jan 27th 2008, 9:42 am
#709
'In limboland'
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,880
Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
I bet you, if you turned round and said to him "I am going home this year, our son is coming with me, I would like you to come too" he'd come with you. Put your foot down with a firm hand. You've spent enough time being unhappy, start putting yourself first.
You told me never to end up like you, and I won't. You need to start thinking about yourself and what you need, that way at least the rest of your life can be in a place where you belong and not here feeling trapped and tricked and fed promises that don't materialise.
You told me never to end up like you, and I won't. You need to start thinking about yourself and what you need, that way at least the rest of your life can be in a place where you belong and not here feeling trapped and tricked and fed promises that don't materialise.
Last edited by St.Georges Girl; Jan 27th 2008 at 10:45 am.
Jan 27th 2008, 12:12 pm
#710
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Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
Strange you should post this today Tracey, because I said just that to OH this afternoon. He sort of just stared at me then walked away. About 15 mins' later I went looking for him and he was sitting in our ensuite looking so dejected. It was obvious he'd had afew tears, so I asked why. He said that he'd f**ked everything up and made both our son and me unhappy. Of course, that isn't entirely correct, but maybe now he might really start to take me seriously. Our son is going to England in July with his girlfriend and her parents and wants us to go back in August so he can stay longer and travel back with us. We were going to do that, but I keep thinking of how bad I was last time we had to leave and don't want to go through that again, So now I'm the one who is backing out of going home, as I only want to go if we can stay for good. There's alot more to it than that, but our son having a long term, rather possessive girlfriend is causing afew problems.
As for the girlfriend, yeah, she may be possessive but at least she wants to go back to the UK. How crappy would it be if she didn't and he sonny boy wouldn't part from her? So, get you and your family back to live at the end of this year, then deal with the possessive potential daughter in law!
Jan 27th 2008, 12:40 pm
#711
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Location: UK-France-UK-France
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Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
O.k...good thing...OH has a heart and a conscience!!
As for the girlfriend, yeah, she may be possessive but at least she wants to go back to the UK. How crappy would it be if she didn't and he sonny boy wouldn't part from her? So, get you and your family back to live at the end of this year, then deal with the possessive potential daughter in law!
As for the girlfriend, yeah, she may be possessive but at least she wants to go back to the UK. How crappy would it be if she didn't and he sonny boy wouldn't part from her? So, get you and your family back to live at the end of this year, then deal with the possessive potential daughter in law!
Jan 27th 2008, 12:43 pm
#712
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Jan 27th 2008, 9:11 pm
#713
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Location: northamptonshire
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Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
What a small world, If you blink you miss it!!!
I dont know about you guys, but I am just fed up with crying!!! You are all so brave to have stayed so long. I just want to get home. My brothers wife emailed to say they would meet us a the airport and is there anything we need when we get home. I said just a hug!!!!!!I think we will think that god thats all over with!!!!!
Jan 27th 2008, 10:32 pm
#714
'In limboland'
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,880
Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
O.k...good thing...OH has a heart and a conscience!!
As for the girlfriend, yeah, she may be possessive but at least she wants to go back to the UK. How crappy would it be if she didn't and he sonny boy wouldn't part from her? So, get you and your family back to live at the end of this year, then deal with the possessive potential daughter in law!
As for the girlfriend, yeah, she may be possessive but at least she wants to go back to the UK. How crappy would it be if she didn't and he sonny boy wouldn't part from her? So, get you and your family back to live at the end of this year, then deal with the possessive potential daughter in law!
We were hoping he would look for a job while he was there, but there's no way he's going to do that with her around. She's controlled his uni timetable and we don't want her interfering with something as important as his first real job. There is so much more to all this and I can't go into it as it's too complicated, but all my plans and his too are going out of the window because he won't say no to his girlfriend.
Jan 27th 2008, 11:34 pm
#715
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 88,040
Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
Well as I said, there's alot more to it this and heaven help us if he marries her! We suspect our son is getting a wee bit tired of having no space and cannot believe he has agreed to go to England with her for a month. When she found out we were thinking of visiting in August and that our son was going to stay there for longer, she decided that she would also stay and then come back with us.
We were hoping he would look for a job while he was there, but there's no way he's going to do that with her around. She's controlled his uni timetable and we don't want her interfering with something as important as his first real job. There is so much more to all this and I can't go into it as it's too complicated, but all my plans and his too are going out of the window because he won't say no to his girlfriend.
We were hoping he would look for a job while he was there, but there's no way he's going to do that with her around. She's controlled his uni timetable and we don't want her interfering with something as important as his first real job. There is so much more to all this and I can't go into it as it's too complicated, but all my plans and his too are going out of the window because he won't say no to his girlfriend.
Jan 27th 2008, 11:56 pm
#716
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Jan 27th 2008, 11:59 pm
#717
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Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
Don't cry anymore, it's nearly over for you now, you can almost touch the finishing line!In my case I don't think I've been brave, just totally pig-headed that I would and could make this work. However, I've given up now!
Jan 28th 2008, 12:08 am
#719
'In limboland'
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,880
Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
Oh believe me JG we have tried. It only came to light afew days ago, so yesterday when our son was 'home alone', OH tried to tactfully tell him. It didn't work, he said he'd just come back here with her and her parents. He couldn't see why we didn't think it was a good idea for his girlfriend to be there with us when her family were okay with having him go with them.
Jan 28th 2008, 12:22 am
#720
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Re: Do you worry about raising your kids in the UK?
Hope you all get home soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx