Candy001

Not often enough - unfortunately
Moved to Canada in 1980
Went back to UK 1982 - wedding
1986 moved back to UK - 1yr
1988 - traveled back and forth to UK regularly - due to airline work for 2 yrs
then the gaps became less frequent -
1995/1998/2002/2007...........

Can I ask why?

audreyrose23

..there's a whole generation of people over the last 10 years that were sucked in to buying their first homes at ridiculously inflated prices.

I am not sure I agree with this statement as no one is forced to buy property at a time when the prices are massively inflated. You do so at your own risk. We all have choice when taking on a debt/loan as housing markets can go up as well as down, it's just that the upswing lasted a hell of a long time and a whole generation of people grew tired of waiting. But there is always an individual choice involved. Also, lets not forget how extremely pleased many people were during the housing boom, and they sure liked to shout about it. We've probably had about 10 years of depressing property shows out of it! For those of us on the outside looking in, these years were not particularly joyous, unless you like being made to feel like a pariah for not owning your own home, buying properties overseas, or simply buying property to renovate and maximise your profit. Some of us, would have been content just to own an old wreck just to live in, ie. housing as a necessity rather than an investment. Greed and self-entitlement are the major factors involved. We must all take responsibility for our own actions.

audreyrose23

http://www.rhs.org.uk/growyourown/events.asp

For anyone interested in growing their own...

dunroving

Well ... I was wondering the extent to which you have experience of recent living in the UK, really. Mostly on here you will get "You go, girl!" responses, which is great (because most people posting here need/want support). But there is a significant number of people who returned to the UK and found they weren't happy living here (myself included). In some cases, they later admitted/realised there was an element of rose-tinted's etc., or a lack of proper research into some of the harsh realities prior to returning. It's easy to get caught up in the idea of returning "home", especially if people are egging you on at every turn, and then you can hit the ground with a huge thump when you actually go ahead and do it.

A post like this on MBTTUK is often rubbished for being unsupportive, or criticizing Britain. I'm not criticizing Britain at all, just pointing out that, depending on one's circumstances, returning to the UK is not always the best decision. The reluctance of your family to move with you is a cause for concern. Can you be happy in the UK, withouth them (what if they don't come round to your way of thinking?). I'm sure it's on your mind, but what will you do if they decide to stay ... will you go anyway. What will you do if they decide to go for your sake, and then don't like living in the UK, and feel that you are responsible?

These are hard questions to ask, but IMO they don't get asked enough in these situations. If you don't want to hear it, tell me to shut up, I can take it (but it's your prerogative, I'm sure you are a big girl and don't need anyone else to fight your battles for you).

Candy001

Thank you - I appreciate everything you have mentioned -
I have been going through the same questions myself - it has taken me years to come to the conclusion that I need my family and need to be close to them (parents/siblings etc)they have all been here - and would never think of moving - I have been doing research and will continue to do so -
Finances are the big issue here - would I move by myself - I don't know - I couldn't leave my kids - its a really tough situation - one that will require a lot of time/research and patience.
I have always felt like a part of me is missing - left behind - or whatever you want to call it - it's that missing part that is getting more and more crucial to me.
I need to hear the negatives - all of them -

the only positive for me is family - and that weighs more than anything at this time! (and that goes for my family here and over in UK) Totally torn

dunroving

I esperienced the same thing (I left in 1983). I didn't have a lot of family left behind in the UK, and my family upbringing was far from what you'd call "normal", therefore I didn't have so much of the family pull that many exapts cite as being the main reason for returning.

But I did keep getting this yearning for a place where people would understand certain aspects of my humour, or my references to Blue Peter ("Get down Shep!"), or why I gave the Carol Smillie Award to the smiliest student every year, etc., etc. So, as you said, I felt like I had left part of me behind that could never exist in the US. I would have the BBC news on while working at the computer, watch BBCAmerica, etc., to "fill the need" I perceived. Don't get me wrong; I was quite happy in the US (I recently rediscovered this ironically titled BE article taken from a thread of mine in 2006: http://britishexpats.com/articles/mo...d/not-all-bad/) , but I just felt that I didn't belong there long-term.

In reality, when I did return to the UK, I found that (a) I was actually very out of tune with the UK (I had missed over 20 years of British news, culture, sport, etc., after all), and felt more of a stranger here than I did in the US (where in fact, being a foreigner was "normal"); (b) I was bowled over by how many things were so different from what I expected; and (c) I realised that despite many visits back over the years, I had not carefully enough weighed up the US vs UK thing, and had underresearched (ironic as I am a researcher) the realities of many aspects of being back (most notably my economic status, and the nature of my professional life here).

This is my experience. Yours may differ, but my biggest piece of advice would be not to give up what you have unless you are absolutely sure. Also, I'd recommend you try to find a "suck it and see" option (move back for a temporary - say, 12-month - stay, and then decide). If I'd done that (I had the chance of taking a 12-month sabbatical, and stupidly turned it down), I know for sure I'd have been running back to the States as fast as my little legs could carry me on day 365 ... now I'm still here after almost 3 years and just heard that a job in the US that I was shortlisted for has been frozen due to the economic crisis ...

Tricia

That's why I chose the word 'sucked' as opposed to forced. You're right, a lot of people grew tired of waiting and at the end of the day, that's why I'm so cross, why should people have to put their lives on hold because of the greed of government. Yes, many could have (and lots have) rented by choice or necessity but they were still force fed the notion that they had to get on the ladder quick. To be honest, even cynical old me was actually starting to doubt that the 'correction' I felt sure must happen wasn't going to occur.

At the end of the day, as Dunroving (I think) said, govt and banks have a responsibility to the people and like it or not they do influence decision making at a personal level for many.

Mind you, how nausiating is it to take responsibility for your own financial situation only to watch our leaders bail out the irresponsible bankers with our hard earned dosh and don't get me started on the bonus thing, the FSA (fat lot of good they've been during the banking crisis) are also going to enjoy some ridiculous bonus share (something like 20 odd million I think):curse:

audreyrose23

The onus on becoming a 'homeowner' (and thus gaining social status) began in the 1980s by the Conservative government, when they enabled Council tenants to buy their properties for cheap (without building replacement social housing). At this point the machine was changed forever.

Remember Thatcher's belief was that a professional man using public transport was a 'failure'...and so the fun began.

Tricia

I don't think it was an 'onus', it was a 'choice' but true indeed, more social housing needed to be built. The current lot of loonies however, have removed that choice a) council house please - ok, how about a 10 yr wait sir or b) I think I'll buy, I earn the 'average' £25k salary - oh dear, houses in London suburbs are at least £250k sir, never mind, have a loan of 10 times your salary...you'll be right

cricket1again

While I sympathise, I also disagree. I grew up in a poor family but we had standards and one of those standards was if you couldn't afford it, you couldn't have it. Boy did i learn the hard way as a child when it came to who had what in the school playground.
Anyway, it gave me such an edge to work hard that my only focus for years was to own my own house. By the age of 25 and with 2 young children I owned 2 cottages outright. I had 2 pairs of jeans, 2 T shirts and a dress for weddings and funerals. I never got on a political soapbox and waited to get caught up in debates about the government because no matter who was voted in, shit happened anyway.

I am so sick of hearing people moan on about how they perceive things as being 'tough' when not happy with finally buying their own home, they go out and take out loans for brand new cars, furniture, appliances and holidays abroad. Then they take out store cards and continue to shop like it's going out of fashion. Then there's the credit cards and keeping up with the Jones.
So yes, it's tough right now but what did they honestly expect and where does the fault really lie? Not with the government or banks, but with the person who didn't know when to stop and be just grateful.

As for it being tough? I'll tell you what tough is. Tough is when the only meal you get each day as a child is the free school dinner. Tough is also when your elderly aunt is found dead in her home of hypothermia because she couldn't afford heating.

I don't see anyone managing off one meal a day, I especially haven't many people getting slimmer, and I haven't heard of anyone freezing to death in their home so my perception of tough is probably very different to most people's. End of rant.:curse:

cricket1again

PS that was me just sounding off, it wasn't aimed at Tricia or anyone else in particular.

Tricia

Being ladies of a 'certain age' (I mean you & me) was there really any choice in that, credit wasn't something that was easy to obtain and of course that was a brilliant lesson for those of us that 'learned' from it.

We can only comment on what we find out about but I wouldn't be at all surprised to find out that some of our frugal pensioners will be surviving on one meal a day or not having their heating on because their savings interest has been decimated. The feckless are, on the other hand, are probably having a party with the 'gift' of even lower interest rates

cricket1again

I'm sure you're right but hopefully today there are organisations like Age Concern that will flag up any injustice on the elderly. I believe one problem though for the elderly is actually asking for help, which is sad, if it means they could die.
Compared to years ago, I believe things have improved. The electricity companies can no longer cut off power, (they did all the time to us in winter as children), and standards have improved.
I don't believe many people will be doing that much better with lower interest rates. They need a deposit for a start and if it's a choice between a nice new car or a home, what's it going to be?

dunroving

I'm not going to trade tough life stories with you but single parent family, disability, welfare, cruddy council flat, etc., all come into it. Oh, yes, free school meals too. I was the only kid at school who didn't have a bike, blahdy blah. Paid my own way my whole life, never overspent, etc., etc., I think you and I share similar values and experiences when it comes to a lot of this stuff.

But I don't think that has ANY relevance to the current discussion. Sure, there are people who are in a mess because they got caught up in what was essentially a greedy society. USA was the same. Back in the late 90's when I told my friend Joannie I couldn't understand why everyone seemed to be able to afford a brand new truck, etc., etc., and how the heck did they do it, she looked at me and said one word: Credit (I'm pretty smart, but I'm pretty dumb, too, because up until then, it hadn't struck me). Since then, I have followed this upward spiral of house prices, stock prices, remortgaging, spending, etc., remembering Joannie's words and thinking "surely at some point this is all going to end in tears". Nope, year after year, house prices kept going up, stock market still going up, ad infinitum.

After years of working like a dog (overtime, extra consultancy work, etc.), saving like a dog, no spending on luxuries, I was within spitting distance of paying off my mortgage in rural eastern NC after just 6 years (meanwhile, house prices in that part of the world had remained flat as a pancake for the 6 years I'd been there).

I came home, and UK prices were barely within reach, and still climbing, and I bite the bullet and plonk myself with a mortgage double the size of the one I had in the US (of course, the pound by then was over $2.10, so my US savings were severely shrink-wrapped). Spring 2007. Ho-hum, you can guess what river I'm up now, and I forgot the paddle. Meanwhile, my defined contribution US pension fund I dutifully paid into every month for 10 years is worth LESS than my total contributions over that time. So, NEGATIVE yield after saving since 1996 ... what kind of cr*p retirement is that going to buy me?

So, no, being sensible and toughing it out doesn't mean you are immune to the sheistering that's been going on the past 10 years. If I had a crystal ball back in Spring, 2007, I wouldn't have bought a house - but then even the smartest financial minds didn't see this coming, apparently, so what chance do we lesser mortals have?

Sorry, but the broad generalization that people only have themselves and their greedy lifestyles to blame for the mess they are in is horsesh*t. For some people, maybe, but there's a lot of hardworking people who have caight the sharp end of this situation through no real fault of their own. And whining about it doesn't mean they don't know what tough means. It means they are currently in deep trouble and don't see a way out.

Tricia

Isn't that ironic though, the elderly don't ask for help because they believe in saving for a rainy day. Glad to hear electricity companies don't cut off supplies but I just realised my Mum has been having constant rows with my Dad recently because he keeps switching the heating off saying it's too expensive and they can afford their bills, bless 'em.

I was referring to those that already have re mortgaged to fund excessive spending as benefitting from the reduced interest rates.