Re: Say a HARMLESS LIE about the poster above
 

Peter Andre has finally found someone to hep him over the Jordan heartache. It is T-Pot. They plan to wed in a lavish ceremony just outside Fishguard. T-Pot is rumoured to have ordered fashion designer Ben de Lisi to construct her bridal gown entirely from the wing cases of Scarab beetles and will wear a Fascinator. Peter will wear a shiny suit, natch.
Guests will be blindfolded until they reach the venue. For entertainment while they sign the Register, Madonna will sing 'Like a Virgin' and the guests will then play a version of 'pin the tail on the donkey' with a photo of his ex and some nipple tassels.
Cristal, of course. Chav chamagne.

Re: Say a HARMLESS LIE about the poster above
 

helcat12 actually writes the outlines for Ian Rankin's novels, and desperately wanted to play Detective Rebus on tv. Railing against the allegation they weren't "dour enough" to play the part, helcat12 watches two episodes of Taggert every evening, practising words such as smirr, crabbit, and greet, and exercising their chops in an effort to look more like a dour version of Harry Redknapp, with the accompanying smell of stale whiskey and damp wool attire.

Re: Say a HARMLESS LIE about the poster above
 

Rich_007 bought Isadora Duncan a beautiful silk scarf, finely patterned although, in all honesty, a little long...

Re: Say a HARMLESS LIE about the poster above
 

Joe_Sleepy is secretly a Daily Mail on the ground reporter, providing details of the new life that expats enjoy to further disgruntle the population of the UK.

This is all part of the Grand EU Master Plan to empty the UK and replace the population with zombies who will do their bidding Muhhahahahahaahaha :rofl:(crazed laugh of the creator of the Master Plan).

Re: Say a HARMLESS LIE about the poster above
 

Dave and Jules are really Jedward. The plastic surgery, though long and arduous (involving several months of skin grafts and sucking Instant Whip through a jaw brace), was competely successful, resulting in exactly the smooth-skinned, too-much-hair-for-their-own-good, gangly-limbed, vacuous brain-damaged-rabbit-in-the-headlights look they were aiming at to win over the youth of today.
Sadly, this came at a price, as they then discovered to their horror that they couldn't afford the planned subsequent voice modification procedure. They truly believed their sacrifice for fame had all been in vain.
Still, it all worked out fine in the end........:D

Re: Say a HARMLESS LIE about the poster above
 

Helcat won the Booker prize for fiction and using her immense imagination crafted a whole episode of coronation street in 1962.

Re: Say a HARMLESS LIE about the poster above
 

Dave and Jules are Gordon Ramsey's parents. They brought him up using a vocabulary consisting only of swear words. Gordon's famous forehead wrinkles are inherited from Jules, who keeps her small change wedged in them.

Re: Say a HARMLESS LIE about the poster above
 

Tuppence is stuck in the pre-decimal era and dreams of growing up to be a half-crown. But the Half-crown was withdrawn in 1970 after over 400 years in circulation. So now in Canada Tuppence hopes to be a Loonie (some say she has achieved that status)

Re: Say a HARMLESS LIE about the poster above
 

Dave, of Dave+Jules fame, wears tightly fitting paisley patterned boxer shorts which he changes weekly, proudly shuffling himself into a freshly iron size small every Monday morning and prepared by his small Peruvian manservant, Omigo Hector Chinchilla. Dave announces his pending appearance in the bedroom by loudly shouting at the top of the stairs "eeh missus look at the pattern on that one, eet's rising like a Yorkshire pudding". He proudly calls that move "foreplay". Regardless of the success of the foreplay move, the undershorts never come off until Sunday evening at 11.15pm.

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Rich, in his former life of a UK resident, was in fact a gentleman in the city.... Eton educated. He often looks longingly at his pinstripe suit which still hangs in his closet and dusts off his bowler frequently, while reminiscing and wishing his that he once more had an evening with matron to look forward to...................

Re: Say a HARMLESS LIE about the poster above
 

Mistress Miggins is the next Hogwarts Master of the Dark Arts.

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The Captain dreams of being mustachioed biker, unfortunately the Fat Boy he so wistfully admires is beyond his means.
Ever resourceful he manages his cravings by obsessively polishing his helmet...

Re: Say a HARMLESS LIE about the poster above
 

Joe_Sleepy also likes polishing his helmet:lol:

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Dollface lost her left ear as a result of a horrible miscalculation during a rehearsal of the famous "Bullet Catch" trick.. She now wears a very convincing wax prosthetic..

Re: Say a HARMLESS LIE about the poster above
 

Joe_Sleepy enjoys baiting strangers by snorting loudly and letting snot dribble down his face as he nods violently, while trying to keep them talking for as long as possible. His record so far is 5 minutes 27 seconds for an elderly Chinese couple who kept asking "you are Mr Shake hands, yes?".