When are doubts more than that?!
Sep 30th 2013, 10:02 pm
#61
Muskoka, Ontario
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 3,045
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
you are whinging & you know you cannot change the system because the system is bigger than you. You know what you have to do - so do it, otherwise live with it & stop whinging about all that is wrong that your husband cannot change it working as a GP in the UK ... or can he?
Stop the whinging & get on with it - make the life change ...'an adventure' I think you called it up thread
Stop the whinging & get on with it - make the life change ...'an adventure' I think you called it up thread
Me whinging, meh. I'm allowed. I appreciate you're trying to decipher my reasoning though
Sep 30th 2013, 10:05 pm
#62
Dichotomus tinker
Joined: Aug 2013
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 6,678
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
normal reaction prior to emigrating
do let us all know after you get here & you've settled it
Good luck with your new adventure
do let us all know after you get here & you've settled it
Good luck with your new adventure
It won't be a low paid crappy job 
. Husband is a GP. Off to Bracebridge approx 15, 000, although we're used to a city and it's amenities. My husband wants to move for a perceived better work life balance, better pay etc. It's true that he has to work very hard in the uk to maintain a very modest lifestyle, and the children complain that he works so hard. Trouble is when he's off working doing his extra stuff, I have friends to rely on. Once we get there, he is going to have do a lot of extra work, two exams to revise and pass, supervision to write up etc. It's not going to be plain sailing once we get there.
I feel really I could stay so easily, but he really wants to go and it would be unfair to stamp on his dreams. No sleeplessness, bad dreams about being late though! Maybe for Canada-perhaps it's a sign.
. Husband is a GP. Off to Bracebridge approx 15, 000, although we're used to a city and it's amenities. My husband wants to move for a perceived better work life balance, better pay etc. It's true that he has to work very hard in the uk to maintain a very modest lifestyle, and the children complain that he works so hard. Trouble is when he's off working doing his extra stuff, I have friends to rely on. Once we get there, he is going to have do a lot of extra work, two exams to revise and pass, supervision to write up etc. It's not going to be plain sailing once we get there. I feel really I could stay so easily, but he really wants to go and it would be unfair to stamp on his dreams. No sleeplessness, bad dreams about being late though! Maybe for Canada-perhaps it's a sign.
House is sort of sold, not exchanged yet but nearly done it. Will arrive in January, and will definitely get someone else to do the packing!!! Mostly everyone know, and notices going in this week.
I wasn't really asking if we should go, I know that we should go, more that, is it ok to feel like this or if I ignore these misgivings will it end badly. I will throw myself into it so that it has all my effort to help it succeed.
I wasn't really asking if we should go, I know that we should go, more that, is it ok to feel like this or if I ignore these misgivings will it end badly. I will throw myself into it so that it has all my effort to help it succeed.
Sep 30th 2013, 10:16 pm
#64
Muskoka, Ontario
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 3,045
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
Sep 30th 2013, 10:17 pm
#65
Born again atheist
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Europe (to be specified).
Posts: 30,259
Sep 30th 2013, 10:33 pm
#66
Dichotomus tinker
Joined: Aug 2013
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 6,678
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
As folks on here that live in Ontario will tell you Bracebridge has only 2.5 seasons. Its all about scale. Bracebridge & Wales no comparison in weather, people or open spaces
Sep 30th 2013, 10:34 pm
#67
Dichotomus tinker
Joined: Aug 2013
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 6,678
Sep 30th 2013, 10:42 pm
#68
Weegie in Calgary
Joined: Dec 2012
Location: Calgary
Posts: 810
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
Where are you moving to? Rugby is very much alive in parts of Canada
Sep 30th 2013, 10:50 pm
#69
Yo
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 24,474
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
Sep 30th 2013, 10:56 pm
#70
limey party pooper
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 9,982
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
Song reference was sort of a joke..
We're fed up of the government changes, which have particularly impacted on both of our jobs and careers. The NHS is a wonderful thing but it is failing, and while my job exists in a sort of a bubble due to the type of department it is, it is a really hard place to work. My husband in particular comes home demoralised from work ever day, and has to work a lot of OOH. He's miserable there at the moment and his pay is decreasing almost monthly, so money is sort of an incentive.
Work life balance. He will able to work less and still maintain a decent income.
Weather. God it rains a lot where we live. We like to cycle, winter sports etc, and ideally would like to have some proper seasons.
You only live once. The adventure.ki
Hopefully the children will have a better future in Canada than they will on our small island.
We're fed up of the government changes, which have particularly impacted on both of our jobs and careers. The NHS is a wonderful thing but it is failing, and while my job exists in a sort of a bubble due to the type of department it is, it is a really hard place to work. My husband in particular comes home demoralised from work ever day, and has to work a lot of OOH. He's miserable there at the moment and his pay is decreasing almost monthly, so money is sort of an incentive.
Work life balance. He will able to work less and still maintain a decent income.
Weather. God it rains a lot where we live. We like to cycle, winter sports etc, and ideally would like to have some proper seasons.
You only live once. The adventure.ki
Hopefully the children will have a better future in Canada than they will on our small island.
Come to the Kawarthas, or Northmberland. We can sink a gin together.
Sep 30th 2013, 11:07 pm
#72
Yo
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 24,474
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
Oct 1st 2013, 12:18 am
#73
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Maple Ridge BC
Posts: 309
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
If you don't do it you will never know. Don't expect it to be easy because it very often isn't. It has been the hardest thing that I have ever done, although husband and daughter feel differently. I now feel more settled but it has taken a good 2 years. Could you perhaps both put in for a career break so your jobs at home will be kept available? This means you are not severing all ties. I worked for the NHS and had a 5 year career break.
Give it a go, you can always go back if it doesn't work.
Give it a go, you can always go back if it doesn't work.
Oct 1st 2013, 1:30 am
#75
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: Cochrane, Alberta
Posts: 7,861
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
My tuppence....
Part 1 - My very good friend here (see, I did make one ) is a UK trained GP. She has had to jump through a phenomenal amount of hoops in order to fully embrace her job. (You have to remember you are "foreign trained" and therefore the same as anyone coming in from any other country in the world - where, it must be said, standards vary hugely). She has moved through four different practices to find a good fit and finally, is very happy in her current post. There have been some insurmountable personality issues with lazy leadership, and money-grabbing-see-as-many-patients-as possible-while-offering-bugger-all-in-the-way of patient-care colleagues....
She works 3 and a half days a week, and earns a fortune. It took about 4 years to be fully "let loose". She bemoans some things, loves others, now teaches and trains the young 'uns coming out on practicums, and is authorized by the University of Calgary to lecture. She has been here 7 years and has a good life.
Work for yourself is likely to be a long drawn out and frustrating process.
Part 2 - my husband had grave reservations about coming here in the first place, and some years down the line admitted he wished he had said "no". We are lucky to have a very strong relationship, and somehow, 6 years later, we are still here, quite happy, and have a good life. We've had our moments though!
From the outline details, and reading between your lines, you need to have that one more "proper and honest" conversation with your husband. Spell out your reservations.
I think you will give it a leap of faith, and I suspect you will muddle by just fine. But if I was you, I think I'd stay put.
Glad to have been so much help. 
Part 1 - My very good friend here (see, I did make one
) is a UK trained GP. She has had to jump through a phenomenal amount of hoops in order to fully embrace her job. (You have to remember you are "foreign trained" and therefore the same as anyone coming in from any other country in the world - where, it must be said, standards vary hugely). She has moved through four different practices to find a good fit and finally, is very happy in her current post. There have been some insurmountable personality issues with lazy leadership, and money-grabbing-see-as-many-patients-as possible-while-offering-bugger-all-in-the-way of patient-care colleagues....She works 3 and a half days a week, and earns a fortune. It took about 4 years to be fully "let loose". She bemoans some things, loves others, now teaches and trains the young 'uns coming out on practicums, and is authorized by the University of Calgary to lecture. She has been here 7 years and has a good life.
Work for yourself is likely to be a long drawn out and frustrating process.
Part 2 - my husband had grave reservations about coming here in the first place, and some years down the line admitted he wished he had said "no". We are lucky to have a very strong relationship, and somehow, 6 years later, we are still here, quite happy, and have a good life. We've had our moments though!
From the outline details, and reading between your lines, you need to have that one more "proper and honest" conversation with your husband. Spell out your reservations.
I think you will give it a leap of faith, and I suspect you will muddle by just fine. But if I was you, I think I'd stay put.
Glad to have been so much help.