How long is your husband contractually obliged to stay at the practice in the near north?

It may be better in the medium term for him to move to a practice somewhere in Canada where you can get your career back on track, then everyone is relatively happy. The longer he waits to do that though the more attached to his collegues he is likely to become, which AFAIK is why he is now set on returning to the UK based on his window of opportunity to resume his old job.

Obviously getting your career in Canada started will require some effort to get your qualifications and experience recognized here, which is a PITA, but its something you surely knew about before deciding to relocate here.

I have gone as far as I can go with it at present, until the CNO do their bit I'm pretty stuck... A change in area would have been better, closer to a University and a big teaching hospital. Those are the things I can't change because of the above husbands job. Thank you for something constructive I can answer. I did know what a royal pain it would be to get registered here, I underestimated how not working would make me feel.

No real advice from me.

When I was a kid my parents took us (two brothers, one sister) all the way to Australia. Once we started enjoying life after 18 months there they pulled us out and dragged us back to Blighty.

Similar situation as we moved to a town 10 miles from the old town so it was starting again again. Nothing was the same except the cold nights and naff TV.

It's alright for parents as they have built their relationships over years and have the means to maintain them.

I have to say as a 9 and 10 year old it's horrible being a newby/outsider for a good six months to a year so to do it twice kind of sucked for me.

That aside I think having met you that you would probably be happier back in Wales it will just be another adoption process.

I feel for you, for sure. Sometimes getting 'stuck' like that can be really overwhelming and affects you in ways you didn't think it would.

My husband just had his one year of living in Canada last week (coincidentally, while we were in the UK!). The first three months of that, we were doing long distance, as I was tying up the last of things in the UK, including my citizenship. Then it was another month after I moved to get my job sorted, and then it was house hunting. We moved in with my parents initially (so that was my husband living on his own with my parents for 3 months!! )... we close on our house at the end of November, which will be a total of 14 months of living with my parents for my husband. He has certainly at times found that tough - not because he doesn't get along with my parents, more just not having a house to call his own, and feeling a bit "homeless" for that time. He certainly has gotten homesick in the past, and I'm sure he will more in the future. But he's also recognized that part of his frustration has been because of the house... once we are in the house, things will really start to feel properly like "home". To get by we have instead poured BUCKETS of research into things for the house... DIY renovations, paint colours, mattress types, couches, chairs, fridges, dishwashers, televisions, and so on and so forth. But really, walking in the door when it becomes OUR house is going to be a big game changer.

It feels a bit like you're in a similar boat, just with a job instead of the house. You're doing everything you can do on your end to sort out the career aspect of your life, but in the meantime, you just feel ... stuck. And that's making you pine for going back to the life you did have.

I think what you need to do is find something else to get stuck into in the meantime. A friend of mine volunteered for Meals on Wheels when she was between jobs. It gave her something to do, and even though she's now been employed for 4 years, she still does stuff with them on weekends. Maybe you pick a project in your home to get really into... whatever interests you.

I don't want to sound condescending in case you are already doing this, and I'm sure you've probably been told it before... but I think once you are actually working and things become less grey and unknown, throwing in the towel and moving back I think is a premature move.

Not sure if that helps or not...

Congratulations on the baby! How exciting. Homesickness can be almost a physical emotion. I hope you can stick it out here and make a go of it. Time is a great healer and I'm sure things will improve for you.

Are you the poster who posted last week and have been here less than 2 years? sorry I can't remember.

Most people say it takes around 2 years to feel like Canada is "home". I'd agree with that. I've been here 2.5 years and sometimes it still feels totally alien. I feel for you because homesickness is awful when it hits (for me it's not often but when it does it's *awful*).

I am presuming you sold your house prior to moving over? If so can't you move into the same village and get your kids into the same schools they left? If they are full don't they have to make space if you are in the catchment? Maybe a call to the school secretaries would help you with this decision.

How will you handle working split hours and not on your husbands days off? Will you be ok with that?

It just seems to me from your posts that you are stuck between a rock and a hard place and going back has it's disadvantages too?

Not an easy decision. I feel for you.

what does your children want?

i would like to speak from a child's point of view as i have had personal experience when it comes to big moves. i know how hard it is to move away from your best buddies to a totally different country where you dont know anyone. i was born in Sweden and grew up there, however when i was 15, mum and dad decided to move to Northern Ireland - as you can imagine this sucked BIG time!! Considering that i went to a school (in Sweden) where i actually liked (i know, sounds weird) and things couldnt get any better as far as teenage years goes...

soo, it was a complete reboot of my life (and my parents for the matter) and it took a long time for me to adjust to rural life in NI, it was very hard and at times very dark. I really hated everything back then, i could go as far as saying i even hated my parents for being so inconsiderate!! but as soon as i started college things got better, probably due to the fact i was able to go out and socialise etc. and it got even better once i started uni, however that is a different story altogether...!

i am 25 years old for the 8th year running now, and I can honestly say home for me now would be N.I (i currently live in england) where my folk still reside, and it is also where my best friends are from for the matter!! and i can also honestly say i am glad i stuck it out with my parents.

however, just so that you know, whichever path you end up taking please know that there is a light at the end of that tunnel!! it may be a long time before you see this light but it is there... whether you decide to return back to the uk or stay, there no right or wrong choice here. this is what i believe in anyway, life has a funny way of working itself out...

Jesus, dont let the kids decide what to do. Parents are the adults and get to make the decisions for a reason.

Different with late teenagers perhaps as they have more invested and its a difficult age in general, but little kids just have to go along for the ride Im afraid. Kids will be alright in the end anyway as long as the parents are there for them. Happy parents make for happy kids for the most part.

So three years left, or only 2 now? Is he likely to consider a move to a better location (from your perspective) in Canada? You say that hes now totally for returning to his old practice. You know him, is he likely to change his mind / have it changed for him if on balance you decide to give canada more time?

TBH I think you need to decide whether the hassles of new UK schools and work patterns are better or worse than the hassles of a new way of life in Canada and the prospect of another move and jumping through hoops for you to work in your old job function somewhere here.

Kids will likely adapt one way or another, although they will pick up on your stress for sure if you make a big deal of it.

You just have to decide on a plan, and then stick with it for a while come hell or highwater. Its never all going to be plain sailing whichever you choose.

Thank you!

That's what my jumble of emotion posts boil down to! Thanks Iaink, you make it sound so simple!

Thank you too. All posts help me feel like I'm not too crazy and self obsessed

Lots going on here!

Firstly, congrats on the baby I've had 3 here now and they seem to be doing ok so far, no extra heads or anything. I like that they have dual nationality as it gives them more options for the future.

Regarding moving back. I know of 2 families who moved back, in my opinion neither gave it long enough here, but having said that, I'm getting close to a decade now and it still doesn't feel like home. If money were no issue, we would likely have moved on by now. Moving back though - we've come to the conclusion that it's really not that simple. Doing this changes people, and those two families I know have both had real issues trying to settle back there again. One managed to get their kids into the same school, with the same friends and the other even managed to rent the house they had rented before they left. Neither has had an easy ride of it at all.

We were actually considering moving back while I was pregnant with our 3rd. With hindsight, it likely would have broken me, and probably still would now. Hormones and all that.

Only you can know what is best, or not know as the case seems to be. If you know that things will be changing in the next couple of years if you stay, then it might be worth seeing what you can make of that. I get the misery, the homesickness, the lack of friends and feeling alone, I really do, and so do many others on here. It really really sucks at times. But I also think that you could be making things an awful lot worse to try and move back at this point, particularly with what you're saying about nothing being in place that you were expecting (at the risk of being called a hippy nutcase yet again, maybe it's not waiting for you there because you're not supposed to go back. Obstacles to be listened to maybe). You at least know what the status quo here is for the next little bit, if you see what I mean.

Sometimes we all need a sanity check.

What's that then?