Time for some realism
 

I'm ready to take on the I told you so now...

My position is this, I would like to go home, I have been terribly homesick for all aspects of my life.

However, I have my job back but my hrs have now changed from my set day on my husbands day off to whenever suits the service and likely split hours.

My son can no longer get into his old school or any of the surrounding schools where he has friends. He will need to start a new school at that difficult time of year (Jan). This has many implications, for his sister and her place at school, we need to move areas, and may well have implications for my job. If I'm unable to get drop off/pick up from their new school area because of my new hours then I will be unable to work. I don't have family support and relied on my husband and school friends occasionally if I needed it.

So we're likely returning to a life vastly changed to the one I left, Probably financially worse off returning home, especially covering childcare costs/potentially unable to work, my son has to move from somewhere he is finally settling into, to a completely new class again and area also and so does my little girl. My new hrs are going to make life very difficult be it normal working hrs or school holidays. I won't be able to around for them as much as here. Ironically my husbands job is the only thing that remains unchanged in this "adventure". Right now staying despite the homesickness and not being able to work actually seems like the only good option, a case of you've made your bed now lie on it. Especially factoring in a property unsold as yet.

People said Go, it only needs to be a year, nothing will change, and yet everything has changed. I fear going back won't be as good as I think it will now. It will be filled with stress and trying to juggle everything. Top it all off with a third pregnancy and I feel very down with all the worry of it all.

My husband says we must go home now, it's done and decided and he won't go back on it. I think HELP....please :confused:

Re: Time for some realism
 

Is the relocation about you or your family?

From what you have said previously, it was the fact that you were unable to work here that precipitated the move back to the UK. I thought your husband was enjoying it here, as were your children. I appreciate that I may be wrong.

Re: Time for some realism
 

None of those things sound like long term problems.

Re: Time for some realism
 

I don't think you are wrong. It's been quite a drama and it's all about her !

Re: Time for some realism
 

If your husband is set on moving back, what will you do?

Re: Time for some realism
 

Hi, never thought I'd say this to anyone but I think you have to let your husband off the hook. It might be maddening that he seems to have come out of the whole thing scot-free while everyone else has suffered, but you are in danger of losing a lot more if you can't let that go. I'm sure he didn't plan for the way things have turned out, and if you're honest you already know that neither you mor your kids would be better off if his career suffered too?

No-one else can decide what you should do, but much as I hate to mention the 'H' word (hormones!) if you are expecting again it will have an impact on how you feel about things. Although I would say if you're already homesick won't it be worse when you have another baby?

I don't intend any judgement of you in any of these comments, and send you hugs. I really hope you can make the right decision, and feel happy with it.

Re: Time for some realism
 

Why is your son unable to get back into his old school? Do you mean his old school in the UK? If you're moving back to the UK but to a different area surely this is inevitable. I'm not sure I really understand. Are you looking for advice? and if so on what?

Re: Time for some realism
 

If I were you I would stick it out. YOu can't go back. Whoever told you you can re-enter your old life was smoking the crack.

IF you returned, you would eventually get it back but is it really worth it?

Re: Time for some realism
 

It was, but it looks like I might not be better off either way, so it might be better for other people if just get on with it. My husband likes it, my son so so.

Constructive and helpful. Nice of you.

I'm talking about his old school or any school that has some friends in it. They are all full to the brim, we're unlikely to win an appeal based on this. This will now necessitate us moving areas. I don't know realistically... Everything's wrong everywhere.

Teaandtoday.....I absolutely take your point on board re hormones! Sally I don't know...go home. We are going to involve our son about his school, he needs to know now.

Re: Time for some realism
 

[QUOTE=ExKiwilass;11396729]If I were you I would stick it out. YOu can't go back. Whoever told you you can re-enter your old life was smoking the crack.

IF you returned, you would eventually get it back but is it really worth it?[

Dammed if we do, dammed if we don't....

Re: Time for some realism
 

or, make the choice to stop looking back and move forward with your life.

I get the homesickness, i really do. But it will get better. I promise.

Re: Time for some realism
 

Some of it comes down to gut feelings, and only you know what they are.

The longer you stay, the harder to reverse that decision.

Re: Time for some realism
 

Have to say it never did for me.

Re: Time for some realism
 

Thank you! It has done an uncanny impression of depression at a lot of times, but I'm not...

Re: Time for some realism
 

I have to say I get it now, why people can't/don't just go home. Suddenly it seems like the wrong time.