Is anyone else the Black Sheep?
Aug 30th 2007 | 5:48 pm
#31
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 717
From: Wellington, Nova Scotia
Re: Is anyone else the Black Sheep?
but how did you sum up in 1 paragraph what I was trying to say, i think you have just clarified my feelings for me, Thanks
Rosie
Aug 30th 2007 | 8:00 pm
#32
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 558
From: The Vancouver Suburbs... for the next few years anyway!
Re: Is anyone else the Black Sheep?
Karla,
You're doing the right thing - you obviously know yourself very well so hang in there. If you're mum's been referred to a shrink might be a good thing - people always think a shrinks going to agree with them but they often confront people's irrational feelings head on!
My problem is the opposite. I've lived in the UK for 7 years and my (canadian)family has barely paid acknowledge my existence (parents visiting for 2 weeks and seeing me once or twice), sisters who never called, emailled, etc - but now we're moving "back" they are all over us like a bad suit - they "can't wait" to spend every holiday/weekend/etc with us. Why on earth would I want to spend time with them after being ignored for 7 years? They don't see anything wrong with their behaviour because it was my choice to move away!!! They'll get a shock when its "my choice" to not see them!!!
Whatever you do you can't win!
Good luck Karla!
Emily
You're doing the right thing - you obviously know yourself very well so hang in there. If you're mum's been referred to a shrink might be a good thing - people always think a shrinks going to agree with them but they often confront people's irrational feelings head on!
My problem is the opposite. I've lived in the UK for 7 years and my (canadian)family has barely paid acknowledge my existence (parents visiting for 2 weeks and seeing me once or twice), sisters who never called, emailled, etc - but now we're moving "back" they are all over us like a bad suit - they "can't wait" to spend every holiday/weekend/etc with us. Why on earth would I want to spend time with them after being ignored for 7 years? They don't see anything wrong with their behaviour because it was my choice to move away!!! They'll get a shock when its "my choice" to not see them!!!
Whatever you do you can't win!
Good luck Karla!
Emily
Aug 30th 2007 | 9:20 pm
#33
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,112
Re: Is anyone else the Black Sheep?
Karla,
You're doing the right thing - you obviously know yourself very well so hang in there. If you're mum's been referred to a shrink might be a good thing - people always think a shrinks going to agree with them but they often confront people's irrational feelings head on!
My problem is the opposite. I've lived in the UK for 7 years and my (canadian)family has barely paid acknowledge my existence (parents visiting for 2 weeks and seeing me once or twice), sisters who never called, emailled, etc - but now we're moving "back" they are all over us like a bad suit - they "can't wait" to spend every holiday/weekend/etc with us. Why on earth would I want to spend time with them after being ignored for 7 years? They don't see anything wrong with their behaviour because it was my choice to move away!!! They'll get a shock when its "my choice" to not see them!!!
Whatever you do you can't win!
Good luck Karla!
Emily
You're doing the right thing - you obviously know yourself very well so hang in there. If you're mum's been referred to a shrink might be a good thing - people always think a shrinks going to agree with them but they often confront people's irrational feelings head on!
My problem is the opposite. I've lived in the UK for 7 years and my (canadian)family has barely paid acknowledge my existence (parents visiting for 2 weeks and seeing me once or twice), sisters who never called, emailled, etc - but now we're moving "back" they are all over us like a bad suit - they "can't wait" to spend every holiday/weekend/etc with us. Why on earth would I want to spend time with them after being ignored for 7 years? They don't see anything wrong with their behaviour because it was my choice to move away!!! They'll get a shock when its "my choice" to not see them!!!
Whatever you do you can't win!
Good luck Karla!
Emily
I have one sister and four brothers and ther will soon be two grandkids for her to look after and yet the way she is carrying on you would think I was an only child.
The upshot of this behaviour is that the rest of my siblings are starting to question why she is so hyped up about me going when they are staying and they are now starting to get jealous. They will soon all be fell out with me at this rate.
But I dont care anymore...its their loss its all jealousy
Aug 30th 2007 | 9:22 pm
#34
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,112
Re: Is anyone else the Black Sheep?
No one likes change, the natural thing to do is resist it in anyway one can, if that means 'playing dirty', then so be it. You go ahead and do what is right for you and your family, when your parents see how happy you are they'll come round.
We have never lived near either set of parents since we got married almost 15 years ago, and our decision to move to Canada is still being questioned. You just can't please some people.
Go ahead and move, enjoy the new challenges that Canada brings, and revel in your new life.
We have never lived near either set of parents since we got married almost 15 years ago, and our decision to move to Canada is still being questioned. You just can't please some people.
Go ahead and move, enjoy the new challenges that Canada brings, and revel in your new life.
What is your timeline so far?
Good post too BTW.
Aug 30th 2007 | 9:27 pm
#35
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 558
From: The Vancouver Suburbs... for the next few years anyway!
Re: Is anyone else the Black Sheep?
Sorry Alvic & Karla - got our situations confused.
Sounds like your mum is panicing Alvic - its such an emotional situation - hopefully as the day gets closer someone will start seeing sense!
Sounds like your mum is panicing Alvic - its such an emotional situation - hopefully as the day gets closer someone will start seeing sense!
Aug 30th 2007 | 9:48 pm
#36
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,112
Re: Is anyone else the Black Sheep?
Aug 31st 2007 | 2:09 am
#37
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 85
From: Antrim, Northen Ireland
Re: Is anyone else the Black Sheep?
Hi Alvic
we are going over to canada in the Halloween holidays to have a look around, we like the look of PEI. What about you?
we are going over to canada in the Halloween holidays to have a look around, we like the look of PEI. What about you?
Aug 31st 2007 | 2:14 am
#38
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,112
Re: Is anyone else the Black Sheep?
We are going to Saskatchewan hopefully at the start of November...I am aiming for Remembrance Sunday as I think that will really be a good day of remembrance then all round in the years to come.
Alison
Aug 31st 2007 | 2:51 am
#39
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,424
From: Back in Blighty!
Re: Is anyone else the Black Sheep?
Rob
Aug 31st 2007 | 4:17 am
#40
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 10,630
From: Red Deer, Alberta
Re: Is anyone else the Black Sheep?
Remembrance here is amazing (or I think it is) and is remembered (celebrated is the wrong word I think?) on the day it is.
The 1st remembrance day we had here was a Friday and daughters school invited parents and friends to their assembly, it moved me to tears. I really like the way the kids are taught what it's all about and I like the passion that goes into it. Something that seems to be missing in the UK.
Aug 31st 2007 | 4:30 am
#41
frothing loon mk 2
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 204
From: smokeatoks
Re: Is anyone else the Black Sheep?
Remembrance here is amazing (or I think it is) and is remembered (celebrated is the wrong word I think?) on the day it is.
The 1st remembrance day we had here was a Friday and daughters school invited parents and friends to their assembly, it moved me to tears. I really like the way the kids are taught what it's all about and I like the passion that goes into it. Something that seems to be missing in the UK.
The 1st remembrance day we had here was a Friday and daughters school invited parents and friends to their assembly, it moved me to tears. I really like the way the kids are taught what it's all about and I like the passion that goes into it. Something that seems to be missing in the UK.
family told us they planned to go to canada , we actively encouraged
them . we even helped financialy, at the end of the day , we didn't
want them to make our mistakes. now after 6 years we will be going ouselves
encouraged ,and sponsored by them . so go for it and look to the day
when you could help them to a better life , if they have the courage
to make the move . best wishes
Aug 31st 2007 | 4:37 am
#42
Arrived at last!!
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,354
From: Bragg Creek, AB
Re: Is anyone else the Black Sheep?
Thats it, I've had enough......................................:curse ::curse:
When you all started out in your quest to move to Canada did anyone elses parents and Family try and stand in your way?
Things were looking good for a while, my parents were coming around to the idea of us moving to Canada and they were even talking about coming to visit us once we settled in, my sister was happy in her new flat and just got her self a new boyfriend and then BANG all hell breaks loose.
My sister is now pregnant and is due just before we move, now she hasn't got much money neither has her boyfriend so my husband and I have given her most of the baby stuff she will need (Cot, steamer, clothes, highchair, rocker etc etc) and my parents have bought her the rest including a new pram.
Now if that was you, you'd thank me for the things I have given but NO, my parents are now saying that I am jealous of her and the things that they are buying for her unborn baby (yet I have 3 fantastic children of my own and I don't want anymore). I am not jealous and there is nothing that my sister has or will ever have that I would be jealous of. My sister likes to stir and be number one in my parents eyes, she tells me that she hopes Canada doesn't work out and that she hopes I'll lose everything in the process.
I know family will try anything to stop me going but the past 8 weeks have been a nightmare, my parents are even in competition now with my husband and I (this week its who has the best IPOD - Sad I know). At one point I thought "Whats the Point" but then I looked at my children and I knew it was the right thing to do...............So Canada here we come. I really want them to see the plus side of moving and I know that it will be hard for them, but I just wished they would try.
Sorry to go on abit but I had to talk with someone.
Karla x x x
When you all started out in your quest to move to Canada did anyone elses parents and Family try and stand in your way?
Things were looking good for a while, my parents were coming around to the idea of us moving to Canada and they were even talking about coming to visit us once we settled in, my sister was happy in her new flat and just got her self a new boyfriend and then BANG all hell breaks loose.
My sister is now pregnant and is due just before we move, now she hasn't got much money neither has her boyfriend so my husband and I have given her most of the baby stuff she will need (Cot, steamer, clothes, highchair, rocker etc etc) and my parents have bought her the rest including a new pram.
Now if that was you, you'd thank me for the things I have given but NO, my parents are now saying that I am jealous of her and the things that they are buying for her unborn baby (yet I have 3 fantastic children of my own and I don't want anymore). I am not jealous and there is nothing that my sister has or will ever have that I would be jealous of. My sister likes to stir and be number one in my parents eyes, she tells me that she hopes Canada doesn't work out and that she hopes I'll lose everything in the process.
I know family will try anything to stop me going but the past 8 weeks have been a nightmare, my parents are even in competition now with my husband and I (this week its who has the best IPOD - Sad I know). At one point I thought "Whats the Point" but then I looked at my children and I knew it was the right thing to do...............So Canada here we come. I really want them to see the plus side of moving and I know that it will be hard for them, but I just wished they would try.
Sorry to go on abit but I had to talk with someone.
Karla x x x
Aug 31st 2007 | 4:45 am
#43
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,201
From: Vancouver, BC
Re: Is anyone else the Black Sheep?
Good luck with the move over hamshank. It's nice to hear that you were such good parents that your being encouraged and sponsored over.
My parents are both in their mid-60s and I'm an only child.
At the moment they think that we are here for "just one more year", (although they are spending my inhertiance very quickly!) but OH and I have had a few discussions about what we will do if they suss that we have no plans to return to the UK and announce they want to move over, or if something happens to one of them!
My parents are both in their mid-60s and I'm an only child.
At the moment they think that we are here for "just one more year", (although they are spending my inhertiance very quickly!) but OH and I have had a few discussions about what we will do if they suss that we have no plans to return to the UK and announce they want to move over, or if something happens to one of them!
Aug 31st 2007 | 5:36 am
#44
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 85
From: Antrim, Northen Ireland
Re: Is anyone else the Black Sheep?
Dear all on the thread,
Please read below, I received it today in an e-mail, and it sort of fits for this thread......
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
We all need to read this one over and over until it becomes part of who we are !
Take particular note of Number 9!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Try everything twice. On Madams tombstone (of Whelan's and Madam) she said she wanted this epitaph: Tried everything twice...loved it both times!
2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down. (keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches
3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.
6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.
And if you don't send this to at least 4 people - who cares?
But do share this with someone ..
Lost time can never be found.
Some good advice in there, enjoy.
Antrim 4
Please read below, I received it today in an e-mail, and it sort of fits for this thread......
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
We all need to read this one over and over until it becomes part of who we are !
Take particular note of Number 9!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Try everything twice. On Madams tombstone (of Whelan's and Madam) she said she wanted this epitaph: Tried everything twice...loved it both times!
2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down. (keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches
3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.
6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.
And if you don't send this to at least 4 people - who cares?
But do share this with someone ..
Lost time can never be found.
Some good advice in there, enjoy.
Antrim 4
Last edited by antrim4; Aug 31st 2007 at 5:37 am. Reason: No attachment
Aug 31st 2007 | 5:54 am
#45
frothing loon mk 2
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 204
From: smokeatoks
Re: Is anyone else the Black Sheep?
Dear all on the thread,
Please read below, I received it today in an e-mail, and it sort of fits for this thread......
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
We all need to read this one over and over until it becomes part of who we are !
Take particular note of Number 9!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Try everything twice. On Madams tombstone (of Whelan's and Madam) she said she wanted this epitaph: Tried everything twice...loved it both times!
2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down. (keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches
3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.
6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.
And if you don't send this to at least 4 people - who cares?
But do share this with someone ..
Lost time can never be found.
Some good advice in there, enjoy.
Antrim 4
Please read below, I received it today in an e-mail, and it sort of fits for this thread......
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
We all need to read this one over and over until it becomes part of who we are !
Take particular note of Number 9!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Try everything twice. On Madams tombstone (of Whelan's and Madam) she said she wanted this epitaph: Tried everything twice...loved it both times!
2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down. (keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches
3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.
6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.
And if you don't send this to at least 4 people - who cares?
But do share this with someone ..
Lost time can never be found.
Some good advice in there, enjoy.
Antrim 4
antrim 4 , great sentiments and very true what you say . its the only thing i'll miss and thats my weekly fix of rugby, but its probably time now for me
to find out how good my fly fishing is
