Thats it, I've had enough......................................:curse ::curse:

When you all started out in your quest to move to Canada did anyone elses parents and Family try and stand in your way?

Things were looking good for a while, my parents were coming around to the idea of us moving to Canada and they were even talking about coming to visit us once we settled in, my sister was happy in her new flat and just got her self a new boyfriend and then BANG all hell breaks loose.

My sister is now pregnant and is due just before we move, now she hasn't got much money neither has her boyfriend so my husband and I have given her most of the baby stuff she will need (Cot, steamer, clothes, highchair, rocker etc etc) and my parents have bought her the rest including a new pram.

Now if that was you, you'd thank me for the things I have given but NO, my parents are now saying that I am jealous of her and the things that they are buying for her unborn baby (yet I have 3 fantastic children of my own and I don't want anymore). I am not jealous and there is nothing that my sister has or will ever have that I would be jealous of. My sister likes to stir and be number one in my parents eyes, she tells me that she hopes Canada doesn't work out and that she hopes I'll lose everything in the process.

I know family will try anything to stop me going but the past 8 weeks have been a nightmare, my parents are even in competition now with my husband and I (this week its who has the best IPOD - Sad I know). At one point I thought "Whats the Point" but then I looked at my children and I knew it was the right thing to do...............So Canada here we come. I really want them to see the plus side of moving and I know that it will be hard for them, but I just wished they would try.

Sorry to go on abit but I had to talk with someone.

Karla x x x

Families!!! Thought at one point my parents may object but they never really voiced much and now think move is good. Luckily OH parents spent 5yrs in Nigeria when he was little so they can say nothing. For what its worth i def think you should go now as to pull out and stay around would only give them something to gloat about??!!
Also coming from Manchester myself ---WHY would you want to stay Go girl Canada

Karla

{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I know the feeling, everyone is telling us we are doing the right things, family are well we wont see you again, youll never get on housing market again etc etc
Our trip was really hard work, with test for OH to do etc etc etc
But just arriving back at manchester airport and the taxi driving us to our house has made us more want to go
We have come back to his job not looking brilliant, but on the other hand he us being head hunted to another firm
Scared dont know if to stop or go.....but one question as a parent now that you have seen the life in canada

Where do you want to bring your kids up ??
As a parent, your mum should see the same,

Go karla, go
if you never try it, you will never know and speaking with you on and off the forum i know that you have worked hard to get where you are, you can make it there. dont worry, they may come round to the idea and i would say that your sister is the jelous one

GOOD LUCK {{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}

gill and bunch

After reading your post, my reaction is - get your kids the hell away from those selfish manipulating people - but I'm sure they are not that bad really, just you letting off steam. So, here's hoping you feel a bit better for it.
You have a dream of a better life in Canada, go do it, or forever regret it and you will soon enough resent your family for it!
They will come around - distance makes the heart grow fonder, and all that.
Just be friends with them all when you leave.

Rob.

Karla - I am not experiencing the same things as Mal's parent are both dead and his sisters very supportive. My father died years ago so only my mum left. She is 80 in March 08 and I'm trying to get her to celebrate in Canada, she may well yet.

Our children are great about everything and our grandchildren are coming around to extended holidays in Canada.

From reading your post it seems that your family is doing and saying anything they can to stop you moving away, exactly like a child stamping their foot when they can't have their own way. The still want to think they can exert some control over you, the only thing is they don't realise that through this process you are moving further away from them mentally before you actually move to Canada.

Karma for your strength to keep the family together and on the path that you want to take.

tried to give you karma but a sign came up saying I had to spread myself around a bit more first - what type of site is this lol

How pathetic. Tell them you'll stop talking to them unless they start behaving like adults. I'm sure you've got enough on your plate without having to put up with nonsense like this.

I know Canada is where I want to be, I cried once I got off the Plane after our Reccie Trip this year - I loved Canada and the thought of being stuck in Manchester is just awful. My parents are not old, they are 47 and 50, so they are much younger than many other parents. I am 26 and I feel as though I am 40 as the stress has really took its toll on me. My relationship with my husband has never been stronger and he is my rock - I am so lucky to have him.

My parents keep saying that I will not cope without him (when hes away driving), but if I can cope six months while hes away in Kosovo..............

Thanks so much for your kind words, It really means alot to me.

Karla x x x x

Karla, just think once your here in Canada they won't as easily involve you in petty squabbles. I think they are the ones who are jealous as you have the gumption to try to make a better life for yourself.

Good luck with your move and don't let others drag you down.

Piff
xx

We stopped talking for just under a month - I was the one to make the first move and sort things out as they are my parents at the end of the day but things have still not change and they are just the same so I think its time to realise that they are not going to change anytime soon. I did try but they are not budging so do you think its wrong of me to give up on them and just carry on with the Canada plans?

I know I'm only 26 years old but I do feel alot older. I am lucky enough to be living a fantastic life but MY family will be happier in Canada and thats where we will be next year.

Karla x x x

you are not being selfish going!
your family should be supportive and making it easy for you


funny how moving makes you realise who are the persons who really love and care for you
the one who(with tears in their eyes ) whish you all the best and hope it will work out for you regardless of their own feeling of loss and sadness

while others will stand in your way and make you feel miserable about something you should be happy to achieve

so ignore the one who are making it hard for you',you have got your own familly and are doing all you can to keep it happy .
go for it and all the best
vee

Karla,

After being together nearly 10 years with the joy of the British Army to make life a little simpler for us (NOT) we got here in June. My OH works away for a month a time, so we have spent 4 weeks together in nearly 12.

Yes it gets lonely, but I invest a lot of time in my kids and have spent much of the summer home schooling my boy whos nearly 6 so he feels confident with the new school and all. I also have started a meetup group in the area so have met other moms new to being here. I am about to start college next week and all in all am finding stuff more than OK. I have great friends in the UK but they were that busy with their own lives and that used to me bringing up two kids on my own that I only usually had company in the evening when someone had a broken heart, bank balance - career etc that needed mending lol!

So yep, you will be fine as you already said.

As for parents, my dad has a bad heart condition and got himself in a total state and there was an incident that could have been the make or break of us coming. I decided rather out of character, to have a total confrontation about it, and at that point people started pulling themselves together and realising that what we were doing was for the best for our children. Confrontation is hard when you carry guilt about going, but sometimes it's the only way to a put a stop to it.

Personally I can totally see why you are leaving if that's the kind of family dynamic that you have and I wish you all the best in your future.

Also, just as a point to close, if you don't have a good sort out about it, what are you actually going to do with all the anger that you are feeling now... You are a prime candidate like the rest of us to feel low when you get here, especially when you are on your own and tired. To have that kind of unresolved crap hanging around will take it's toll. I really would advocate asserting yourself and saying enough is enough. As the last thing you need is to be all this way away festering - it will be obvious on the phone etc, and then they really have grounds for demonising you lol!

Take care, good luck and stand up for yourself, otherwise what are you teaching your kids? New starts can often only come with a bit of closure from somewhere,

All the best
Mrs M x

Tell them you're getting an iPhone when you get here. That'll teach em.

Karla...you and I have spoken before about this as I am in exactly the same position with my sister and Mum.

My Mum has now even surpassed herself and has just recently told me that she has had to get anti-depressant tablets off the Dr and he is referring her to see a shrink - so beat that one. I dont love her/think nothing of her or my Dad or my Gran or any of my family, blah blah blah.

If I don't talk to her about Canada - I dont care about her and can talk to everyone else etc etc etc and when I do we end up falling out so I cannot win.

My only sis is also due her second child on the 26th October so I am never going to be forgiven as the child will not know me etc etc and her first child adores me (naturally)

On a few occasions lately she has told peeps in front of me that she hopes we hate it and come home again This really annoyed me as I couldn't believe she could be so childish. I have always got on great with my Mum and have dreaded leaving her but the way she is going at the minute......??????

They dont seem to realise how stressful it is for those leaving and I am at my wits end with the whole lot of them I have visions of it continuing when we arrive in Canada over the phone etc.

OH family are still very supportive and cant wait to get out to see us on holidays. Of course my family have millions of obstacles already thought up as to why it will be 5-6+ years before they will be over, if ever. Bet they will be first on the plane

Try to forget about them and remember you are making this move for your own wee family and they will love you and thank you forever when they see how great a life they have in Canada.

No one likes change, the natural thing to do is resist it in anyway one can, if that means 'playing dirty', then so be it. You go ahead and do what is right for you and your family, when your parents see how happy you are they'll come round.
We have never lived near either set of parents since we got married almost 15 years ago, and our decision to move to Canada is still being questioned. You just can't please some people.
Go ahead and move, enjoy the new challenges that Canada brings, and revel in your new life.

Hope it works out for you Karla,

I am 28, (wife 26, and three kids 8,6 and 3) and know what you mean about feeling old! - my Dad has said I won't make it in Canada, although I think he probably doesn't mean it.

I think as long you as you and your husband stick together, and do what you feel is right for both you, and your children I think you will make it work.

Good luck

Chris