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Need "personal" advice

Need "personal" advice

Old Apr 28th 2010, 1:49 pm
  #136  
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Louiseh86 View Post
I don't dispute the difference in generations etc but you say it's against nature. So really it can't be, if natures influence was that strong people would go against the norm. Believe it or not Dean, some people are happy with one person for the rest of their lives, if that's not for you then fine fair enough but don't condemn others or portray them as drones just because their opinions differ, live and let live.
nice one.
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Old Apr 28th 2010, 8:37 pm
  #137  
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Louiseh86 View Post
I don't dispute the difference in generations etc but you say it's against nature. So really it can't be, if natures influence was that strong people would go against the norm. Believe it or not Dean, some people are happy with one person for the rest of their lives, if that's not for you then fine fair enough but don't condemn others or portray them as drones just because their opinions differ, live and let live.
Very true.....
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Old Apr 28th 2010, 11:46 pm
  #138  
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Louiseh86 View Post
I don't dispute the difference in generations etc but you say it's against nature. So really it can't be, if natures influence was that strong people would go against the norm. Believe it or not Dean, some people are happy with one person for the rest of their lives, if that's not for you then fine fair enough but don't condemn others or portray them as drones just because their opinions differ, live and let live.
For every two couples that get married, one gets divorced. That's a fact. Extra marital affairs are so common it's not funny. Some people may be happy with one person for the rest of their lives however there are also lots of people that are not. the facts speak for themselves.

I didn't portray any people as drones although people do have a herd mentality and are relatively easy to control. The fact is you can't argue with nature and yet the human ego *thinks* it can change our natural instinct. If we were meant to be with one person until death do us part, nobody would be having affairs. My point of view has been scientifically proven whereas yours is nothing more than idealism and wishful thinking. You are quite free to believe what you will though, live and let live and all that.
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Old Apr 28th 2010, 11:53 pm
  #139  
 
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

It doesn't make marriage flawed... it makes the people flawed.

I have been married and am now divorced, yet I am not cynical about marriage or anti marriage. I think it *can* work if only the groundwork is there in the first place.

For every two couples who get married, one stays married. I think those numbers speak for themselves.

Last edited by TiddlyPom; Apr 29th 2010 at 1:15 am. Reason: typo
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Old Apr 28th 2010, 11:59 pm
  #140  
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by TiddlyPom View Post
For every two couples who get married, one stays married. I think those numbers speak for themselves.
Exactly.
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Old Apr 29th 2010, 12:04 am
  #141  
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by TiddlyPom View Post
For every two couples who get married, one stays married. I think those nimbers speak for themselves.
One stays married, one gets divorced. We're talking semantics there. That's a 50:50 chance of it being a success. Would you go to the casino and put your life savings on a roulette table with those odds?
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Old Apr 29th 2010, 12:31 am
  #142  
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Deancm View Post
One stays married, one gets divorced. We're talking semantics there. That's a 50:50 chance of it being a success. Would you go to the casino and put your life savings on a roulette table with those odds?
The correct name for your condition is 'pessimism dressed up as realism', me thinks?
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Old Apr 29th 2010, 12:48 am
  #143  
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by DunRoaminTheUK View Post
The correct name for your condition is 'pessimism dressed up as realism', me thinks?
I prefer to call it being sensible.

Always better to look before you leap... With marriage that is very rarely the case.
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Old Apr 29th 2010, 12:52 am
  #144  
 
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Deancm View Post
One stays married, one gets divorced. We're talking semantics there. That's a 50:50 chance of it being a success. Would you go to the casino and put your life savings on a roulette table with those odds?
I do like a little flutter here and there. Prefer the horses though. Roulette's so very... 007.

We are talking semantics...yes, but only because you were the one who bought it up. As a statistic, it's pretty good. A 50/50 chance..I'd gamble with those odds, and I have done once.
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Old Apr 29th 2010, 12:59 am
  #145  
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by TiddlyPom View Post
I do like a little flutter here and there. Prefer the horses though. Roulette's so very... 007.

We are talking semantics...yes, but only because you were the one who bought it up. As a statistic, it's pretty good. A 50/50 chance..I'd gamble with those odds, and I have done once.
There's actually far better odds with Russian Roulette! I only gamble if I know I am going to win.

50:50 is pretty good odds? Would you bet your life on that?
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Old Apr 29th 2010, 1:11 am
  #146  
 
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Deancm View Post
There's a massive difference of three generations there. They lived in a time where divorce was socially unacceptable and virtually unheard of.

As my grandparents said (and most others probably too) "you make your bed, you lie in it".

Actually, that's not true. Divorces were granted but usually only to men. They were the ones who divorced their wives but it was a highly expensive procedure.

After 1858, divorce became more accessible. If you've read the 'Mayor of Casterbridge' Michael Henchard disposes of his wife by 'leading' her on a halter to a public place and selling her. This was how divorce was done back then before more stringent law was introduced.
Bigamy was considered the 'poor man's divorce'... just having more than one wife was normal because he couldn't afford the divorce. It wasn't that it didn't happen... just that stats weren't recorded properly and people rarely spoke about it.

If you go back as far as ancient Rome, divorce was rampant. More than just your 'three generations' of acceptability. If you read Gibbons' 'Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire', he sites the decline in family as one of the reasons for the fall. Women's ages were not always noted in Roman times, but rather the amount of marriages they'd had!

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Old Apr 29th 2010, 1:13 am
  #147  
 
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Deancm View Post
I only gamble if I know I am going to win.
You can never 'know' you are going to win. Ergo, you never gamble.

50:50 is pretty good odds? Would you bet your life on that?
Having nearly lost my life once, with much worse odds of survival, then, hmmm, yes, why not.
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Old Apr 29th 2010, 1:21 am
  #148  
 
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

I can hear you googling Dean.
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Old Apr 29th 2010, 1:52 am
  #149  
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by TiddlyPom View Post

I have been married and am now divorced, yet I am not cynical about marriage or anti marriage.
Marriage is flawed, and the divorce laws are flawed. You aren't cynical about marriage because the laws favour women and they penalise men. From your point of view you're winning more with every divorce.

There are certainly people of both sexes who cannot cope with living alone. That doesn't mean marriage is necessarily the answer. But the flaw in marriage is that it expects total commitment and it is supposed to last forever. If two people live together for a short while in Australia, marriage is forced on them, even if they don't want it. Now with same sex marriages coming in, I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't forced on two people of the same sex living together even if they are heterosexual.
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Old Apr 29th 2010, 1:54 am
  #150  
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Burbage View Post
If two people live together for a short while in Australia, marriage is forced on them, even if they don't want it. ...
This does suck. I agree.
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