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Need "personal" advice

Need "personal" advice

Old Apr 24th 2010, 6:37 am
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Default Need "personal" advice

I have a bit of a problem!

As some of you are aware i work away from home and called the wife last night who was VERY upset. Turns out she had gone through the computer and discovered i have looked at some "naughty" sites.

I think most guys do / have, but havent a clue what to say to her. Its not easy being stuck here talking over the phone.

Help please
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 6:46 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by verystormy View Post
I have a bit of a problem!

As some of you are aware i work away from home and called the wife last night who was VERY upset. Turns out she had gone through the computer and discovered i have looked at some "naughty" sites.

I think most guys do / have, but havent a clue what to say to her. Its not easy being stuck here talking over the phone.

Help please
Before I pass on my pearls of wisdom can you please define "naughty"?

Are we talking websites with videos of kids not listening to their parents and grown-ups running with scissors?

Last edited by Broad Shoulders; Apr 24th 2010 at 7:15 am.
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 7:20 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by verystormy View Post
I have a bit of a problem!

As some of you are aware i work away from home and called the wife last night who was VERY upset. Turns out she had gone through the computer and discovered i have looked at some "naughty" sites.

I think most guys do / have, but havent a clue what to say to her. Its not easy being stuck here talking over the phone.

Help please
Ask her what she would be happier about...Your having a wank while looking at porn on the web or turning the computer off and shagging some stranger.
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 7:22 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Dorothy View Post
Ask her what she would be happier about...Your having a wank while looking at porn on the web or turning the computer off and shagging some stranger.
absolute top reply
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 8:01 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Dorothy View Post
Ask her what she would be happier about...Your having a wank while looking at porn on the web or turning the computer off and shagging some stranger.
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 8:02 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by verystormy View Post
I have a bit of a problem!

As some of you are aware i work away from home and called the wife last night who was VERY upset. Turns out she had gone through the computer and discovered i have looked at some "naughty" sites.

I think most guys do / have, but havent a clue what to say to her. Its not easy being stuck here talking over the phone.

Help please
You should tell her that you haven't done anything of the sort and that the computer must have a virus.
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 8:04 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Dorothy View Post
Ask her what she would be happier about...Your having a wank while looking at porn on the web or turning the computer off and shagging some stranger.
Love it.

But.... Will the wife just turn round and say I'd prefer you to do neither?
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 8:14 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by verystormy View Post
I have a bit of a problem!

As some of you are aware i work away from home and called the wife last night who was VERY upset. Turns out she had gone through the computer and discovered i have looked at some "naughty" sites.

I think most guys do / have, but havent a clue what to say to her. Its not easy being stuck here talking over the phone.

Help please
We're blokes. If were not the internet, it would be a magazine, DVD, page 3, whatever.

Any guy who says he hasn't been there is a liar.
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 8:18 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

In addition to Dorothy's very sage advice, I'd recommend to your wife not to go looking for such things if she's not going to like what she finds.

I'd also recommend you set up separate user accounts on the computer, and respect each other's privacy.

I rarely even look at my husband's Facebook page. One friend of mine got upset because an old flame posted something on her husband's page (way outside of his control), another because a man she was vaguely seeing didn't add her as a friend but had her friend as a friend. Good grief, grow up.

Technology means we live our lives in public - that's not always a good thing.
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 8:20 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Centurion View Post
We're blokes. If were not the internet, it would be a magazine, DVD, page 3, whatever.

Any guy who says he hasn't been there is a liar.
So true! There are two types of blokes in the world, those that wank and those that lie!

But to the OP, what is that's upset her? The actual act of you being turned on by other women which would probably point to low self esteem in which case you should reassure her that you still find her attractive.

Or is it the secrecy that you're "sneaking" in some "you" time when she's not around and to that one, simple, ask her to join in!!

Good luck, there won't be any right answer, us women are strange complex creatures
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 8:31 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

I've never understood why some women get so upset by their fella watching porn

Ask if she wants to watch it with you mate
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 8:49 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Louiseh86 View Post
But to the OP, what is that's upset her?
Maybe he has overwritten the wedding photos saved on the computer because the hard disk was full.
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 8:53 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Be honest..

Men are born wankers, it has nothing to do with how you feel about her.

You need to explain that it is just a kind of release and is nothing emotional. Just because you have been looking at these sites does not mean that you are shagging about. Sex for women is more of an emotional thing and involves a lot more mental work than it does for a bloke. Having a wank for you lot is the equivelent of a bloody good day shoe shopping or a decent argument and cry for women and a hell of a lot less expensive.

It does not reflect on how you feel about her and does not mean that she isnt enough for you. It's just that you are playing with a toy that no-one can take off you. Does she she know of ANY BOY or man that isnt playing, pulling or scratching it, even they are not realising they are?

It's just one of those things that every bloke does but not think about how it will affect the other half.

Give her a couple of days to think that through and she'll be fine.
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 9:45 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by verystormy View Post
I have a bit of a problem!

As some of you are aware i work away from home and called the wife last night who was VERY upset. Turns out she had gone through the computer and discovered i have looked at some "naughty" sites.

I think most guys do / have, but havent a clue what to say to her. Its not easy being stuck here talking over the phone.

Help please
I am always on pornhub, Mr PP doesnt mind, I am the computer addict out of the two of us and sometimes if I see something worth downloading to my hard drive, we watch it together.

I think honesty is the key here though, I tell him about it 'Oh I saw this good/naff/odd porn clib on the site today' and then I moan that I keep getting computer viruses from it, then he tells me to not go on there so often as he is fed up with me moaning about viruses and so it begins again!

The only thing you have now is to be honest, and say that you didnt mean to hide it from her, its a bloke thing and it doesnt mean anything but what will have upset her is the face you hid it from her.

So talk to her, explain and hope she gets the message.
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 9:56 am
  #15  
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

I agree with others - you need to find out exactly what it is that is bothering her. what is it about the porn that she doesn't like?

Does she feel rejected?
Does she think you don't fancy her?
Does she have a strong moral objection to porn?
Is she missing you?


A bit of reassurance that you love her and find her attractive will probably be the way to go.
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