bundy

Hiya love (my northern accent is coming on a treat)

Not a lot is new, most of it's pretty old, even to me. Erm, was away last week visiting my dad over what would have been mum's birthday. All a bit stressful as some evil witch of a woman crashed into the back of our car at the airport and then put in a claim against us!!!!!!!! So we're now in the whole disputed claims limbo zone and I have deep rage.

So mostly I've been sat on the phone for hours on end dealing with insurance cr*p and shouting abuse at silver BMWs.

What about you?

bundy

YAY!!!!!! Congratulations Sue!!!! Fanfare of trumpets and all that.

Women are always the best drivers

tiredwithtwins

oh dear..... a friend of mine had his brand new kia sedona written off at the weekend...by a bmw!! hope you get it sorted!

me? im not doing much. quite fed up at the moment really....my mum is still very ill - she wants them to leave her alone so keeps pulling her ivs/ng feeding tube and catheter out....she gets so dehydrated shes practically comatose so they put another drip in, rehydrate her and shes ok. its a vicious circle and it just keeps going unfortunately. despite us asking them not to, they went ahead and put a feeding tube into her through the wall of her stomach; the registrar agreed that she could not give informed consent, so despite us asking them not to, they did it anyway. if she pulls this out theres an 80% chance she will get peritonitis.

I have no motivation to do anything ........ I just cant be bothered to go to work so we are absolutely broke, and its looking like its going to be ages before we can get started on the tra/visa.....my house is a pigsty, i have no patience with the kids..... and now i have passed my test i seem to be the family taxi for every reli who wants to visit my mum.

other than that, im fine....sorry, didnt mean to dump all that on you...

bundy

Poor you Sue, sounds like you're a bit overwhelmed (and pretty much where I was for most of the last two years). Totally understand the lack of motivation and can't-be-botheredness. You don't need me to tell you that you need to be careful with yourself in case it all gets on top of you more that might be considered *normal*. It's a lot to deal with, and it's little wonder that your body and brain have pretty much gone on strike.

It's awful - truly awful - to watch someone you love suffer and to have your control over the situation taken away. We were very lucky in that mum remained very much in charge of her situation right up until the end. But I know from the times she spent in hospital how difficult and frustrating it can be.

I had to put so much on hold when mum was ill and to be honest, I've not been able to pick much of it back up. But I've replaced all the old dreams and ideas with new stuff, and it's working out so far.

You can't stop what is happening, and it has and will messed up your plans. Nothing you can do about it, so you simply have to ride it out. The old one day at a time cliche is trotted out far too often, but it's the only rule to live by in situations like these. Get up, think only about the things you need to achieve that day, give yourself a slap on the back when you manage them, and don't be hard on yourself if you don't. And remember to say no to people when you've got too much on....that's the lesson I'm still struggling to learn.

I'm having cognitive behavioural therapy at the moment (second session this afternoon) because I'm not *processing* my grief very efficiently. In other words, I'm stressed out, sad and ready to snap most of the time. It's interesting though, all these patterns of thinking we get into.

Anyway Sue, I'm ranting. Remind yourself that you're doing a cracking job at dealing with all this, and it's fine to feel a bit overwhelmed. Won't always be like this though.

Big hug xx

Grayling

'Ey up Bundy and Sue.

Hope you are both able to get through your current difficulties OK.
Things sound tough.

Just looked at the first post I put on this thread.

Nothing has changed much as far as the forum is concerned has it?

G

bundy

Nah, we've lost a few mainstays, and the smut content is nowhere near as high as it was, but otherwise it's still the same old cr*p

Grayling

That's 'cos you've not been around

G

bundy

Oh, I see. All down to me, was it?!

See, all it started to go down hill when Bixie moved down under and we weren't online at the same time. I don't know. Traitor.

Grayling

No....you were ably aided and abetted by one or two others I can think of

G

cresta57

Woooa look who's popped back in.
Have one on me.

bundy

Eeuuww, not the lime version though. Straight coke or a dark'n'stormy.

cresta57

The fridge is chilling a few Dark n Stormy as I type, part payment for replacing a tile in a rental unit. I've warmed to the Dry & Lime it's very refreshing over ice on a hot evening.
How's it going up in Yorkshire?

bundy

Hmmm, I'm still not convinced by the whole lime thing. Just doesn't do it for me

It's going very well up in Yorkshire, thanks. Stupidly busy because of trying to cram too much into life, but it's fun nonetheless.

tiredwithtwins

hiya,
just went off for a stomp round the house
I just happened to flick onto channel 5, and home and away was on - was a good catalyst for a good ol' rooar (have you come across that expression in yorkshire yet Bundy?)......feel better now i got that one outa my system (for today anyway).
multiple mums is on one of the discovery channels......jeez, makes me glad i have healthy kids. shall hug them extra hard when i get em from school this afternoon...always a good prog to watch when im feeling sorry for myself

well, i still have 3 piles of ironing to do.....gotta go for kids in a couple of hours so id better get cracking.....
hope you feel on the up soon bundy....
<<<<hugs>>>>
sue xx

bundy

I have indeed come across that expression Sue. It's a good un. Glad it's helped anyway.

See, you've found some positives already. Grab hold of the good things when you can.

Want me to come and do your ironing for you?