Having just held my (37 year old) friend's two day old third, unplanned, baby & watching her (48 year old) husband's pride etc., I was searching the site for something else & came upon this thread rather late!!

I wonder what your feelings were after receiving all the replies in the post?
Anyway - Two observations. First, everyone's right to say make your own mind up without pressure re having a child at all. Don't assume you would take to it like a duck to water, even though you probably would, and don't assume it would be wonderful/awful/blissful/appalling, because although it would be all those things it's different for everyone.

Second, and again it's each to their own, but for my part I'd ignore those telling tales of doom & gloom about us oldies not being able to get pregnant. So the statistics are against it, but mother nature's quite a canny old bird. With my new man, never yet a father but absolutely desperate to be, we agreed that at 45 & 44 we'd better get on with it despite it being a new relationship! Lo & behold, first cycle of trying - we're talking mother nature here, remember - and bingo!
Yes, yes, I know lots of people sadly don't have this experience but it's not impossible......

strange to read this again - as a few weeks later i found out we were expecting a baby - sadly i lost my baby 3 months later 2 months ago we started trying again - who knows what will happen

So sorry to hear your update, but as you say, who knows!

Hi

I never felt maternal either and certainly think that i could have lived without kids. However, once the first one came along by accident, 3 others followed. They cause as many worries as they fill you with complete and unconditional love that you never feel for anyone else.
Question is , why do people have children?? I honestly don't know. To complete them? To fill a need ? To be there in your old age? To ensure your genes are carried on ? because its the ' done ' thing that people / society expects?
I can't imagine life without my children, but it also meant giving up a lot of things, including the person I once was.
All I can say is that if you do decide to have children, you won't regret it. But your life will change beyond recognition- they will add to your life, and they will also take away certain aspects. I ma glad I never actually had to make a choice, life made it for me.

Mrs Ozbaz

why "obviously"? Settling and making friends is no real obstacle.

I am male ... 37 years old... have three kids already and feel I am too old to keep having more.

keep the fingers crossed especially for this month x

In todays society, who on Earth would want to have kids?

We have global warming, the planet is overcrowded. There is now a prevalent knife culture and kids are stabbing each other left, right and centre.

On top of it, in about 3 billion years the Sun is going to crash into the Earth so there won't even be a planet and in about 1,500 years the Earths' magnetic poles are going to switch places, which will make the planet uninhabitable.

So the question I ask is:

What's the point of having kids and propagating the survival of the species when the species and all life on Earth is moving towards extinction anyway?

only have kids if you want them they are very hard work! yes they are also very rewarding but with a disabled child the hard work can nearly break you.

I felt so sorry for my parents they had us young then just as we all started to leave home my Dad died so they never had time together without children! so young is not always best

So in your families case would it have been better for your parents to have children later so they could have had more time together? Then your father would have died when the kids were very little and not gotten to know them (and vice versa). So older isn't always better either. Unfrotunately there is just no easy answer, you could be screwed either way so if you want kids you just need to do it when it's right for you.


Jeez.... why don't we all just kill ourselves now and save the effort since we're going extinct anyway! It's a bit like knowing you're going to die of cancer once you're 70 so not bothering to get the most out of your life while you're living it.

With that attitude I would agree that maybe kids aren't for you .

I see my post went over your head.

I see you have no concept of how to indicate sarcasm on the internet.

It occured to me that your post might be sarcastic, but given that you haven't had a single post yet on this thread and there were no telltale rolling eyes, smilies or laughter in your post I figured you were giving a straight answer.

If you're going for sarcasm on the internet you're going to find a way to show it.

Some of the regulars on here are easier to read because I know what they're like and would just get when they're being sarcastic. But I don't recognize your name and with no history on this thread it's easy to conclude that that's just your personality.

Done deliberately as I was just waiting for someone to bite. Well done, you've won!

In all reality, how could it NOT be sarcasm when you read the contents. I mean, talking about the Sun crashing into the Earth in 3 billion years???

Good on you... you deliverately left out all clues as to the fact that you're being sarcastic just to get a rise out of people. Then, when you do get the reaction you want you try to make it seem as though they're an idiot for "not getting it." Well let me just say that you really are an ass

You obviously have not seen some of the idiotic comments on here and some of the different beliefs people have. If you've ever looked in on some of the vaccination or flouride debates you might get a taste of what I'm talking about. This is the internet.... there are all kinds of weird people out there or just people trolling for fun. You never know who you are dealing with.

So now I know that you're not one of those crazies, and now I know what kind of person you are. Good for you.

God, lighten up. It's only an internet forum. No need to take life so seriously. People are starving in Cambodia you know.

Normally I'm in a much better mood. You've caught me on an off day (long busy weekend). You would know this if you recognized my posting history, trust me I joke around with the best of them on here. I was also being sarcastic with my original response. I only got annoyed once you tried to treat me like an idiot for responding in exactly the fashion you were going for.

I'm all for sarcasm when it's done in good fun and transparent. I don't take well to sarcasm that's baited in attempt to treat others like idiots and make themselves feel suprerior for being the only ones to get the joke. Again, you're a genius!

Anyhow... I'm off now as clearly I'm not in the mood for this sort of conversation today. I definitley have better things to do at the moment (like sleep).