DIVORCE.
Jan 31st 2010 | 11:15 pm
#76
Master of verbal pish©
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 22,198
Re: DIVORCE.
Ok long story short,the wife left me and as much as i tried to sort things out,counselling etc all i got was verbal abuse,lies to my friends and family painting me as an abusive alcoholic,very very upsetting to them and total ****ing shit,no i've had an email sweet as ****ing sugar asking me to sign the divorce papers.I even got shit for signing papers to say i wanted nothing from her extensive property interests/shares etc because i used a justice of the peace and not a solicitor because i could not afford one,the judge threw it out cause he thought i was getting a bad deal,i didnt want shit !!
Perhaps im bitter but what happens if i dont sign the papers,im off to Ireland in a few weeks.I expect the usual flack from the wimmin on here but i am hurt.
Perhaps im bitter but what happens if i dont sign the papers,im off to Ireland in a few weeks.I expect the usual flack from the wimmin on here but i am hurt.
or she can pay for your lawyer to have the papers signed
Feb 1st 2010 | 12:45 pm
#79
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: DIVORCE.
You do not have to pay for anything.
Under Australian law, the only type of divorce is 'No fault divorce'.
This means, regardless of behaviour of either person, the assets, money etc are all put into a pot and split between the two. It matters not whether one person has had it tough or not.
Anything you bought into the marriage with you, stays with you. Anything they bought, stays with them. Inheritance money and goods belong to the person whom inherited it.
If one partner is deemed to have a reduced lifestyle because of the divorce, then that person can claim up to 65% of the split. For example, if a mother gave up her job to look after children at home and the ex partner earns a shite load of money... that sort of thing.
Regardless of whether you bought nothing into the marriage, you supported and earned money and therefore, you are entitled to 50% of the house, goods etc.
To not claim these out of a misguided sense of pride is daft. You don't know what's round the corner and you don't know when you might need money or goods. It costs a lot of money to set up a new life and this has to be taken into consideration.
Oz said correctly, that the time you will feel you should have claimed is the time in the future when you're feeling really good about yourself. I can't stress enough that you really need to do this legally and get it over and done with. It's part of moving on.
You do not have to hire a lawyer to do any of this. The court in Australia prefers you to have a mediation session first. Your local family relationships centre is the place you go for this. If you are the applicant, you have two sessions in interview with the mediator. They then decide how to proceed.
If you've been the subject of domestic abuse (verbal abuse, name calling, shouting, intimidation, having your support networks cut out from underneath you such as your friends being told untruths about you) then you can be given an exemption certificate and then you can apply to the court to sort it out for you.
If there's no abuse and you are happy to mediate, then your mediator will help split everything up, draw up the paperwork and you're done.
You pay an amount according to how much you actually earn, so if you're a low income, then you pay less.
It's much more sensible and stops the situation ending up in court... so be careful what you choose so it doesn't bite you on the bum later. Good luck with whatever you choose.
http://www.legalaid.qld.gov.au/Legal...+law+works.htm
Under Australian law, the only type of divorce is 'No fault divorce'.
This means, regardless of behaviour of either person, the assets, money etc are all put into a pot and split between the two. It matters not whether one person has had it tough or not.
Anything you bought into the marriage with you, stays with you. Anything they bought, stays with them. Inheritance money and goods belong to the person whom inherited it.
If one partner is deemed to have a reduced lifestyle because of the divorce, then that person can claim up to 65% of the split. For example, if a mother gave up her job to look after children at home and the ex partner earns a shite load of money... that sort of thing.
Regardless of whether you bought nothing into the marriage, you supported and earned money and therefore, you are entitled to 50% of the house, goods etc.
To not claim these out of a misguided sense of pride is daft. You don't know what's round the corner and you don't know when you might need money or goods. It costs a lot of money to set up a new life and this has to be taken into consideration.
Oz said correctly, that the time you will feel you should have claimed is the time in the future when you're feeling really good about yourself. I can't stress enough that you really need to do this legally and get it over and done with. It's part of moving on.
You do not have to hire a lawyer to do any of this. The court in Australia prefers you to have a mediation session first. Your local family relationships centre is the place you go for this. If you are the applicant, you have two sessions in interview with the mediator. They then decide how to proceed.
If you've been the subject of domestic abuse (verbal abuse, name calling, shouting, intimidation, having your support networks cut out from underneath you such as your friends being told untruths about you) then you can be given an exemption certificate and then you can apply to the court to sort it out for you.
If there's no abuse and you are happy to mediate, then your mediator will help split everything up, draw up the paperwork and you're done.
You pay an amount according to how much you actually earn, so if you're a low income, then you pay less.
It's much more sensible and stops the situation ending up in court... so be careful what you choose so it doesn't bite you on the bum later. Good luck with whatever you choose.
http://www.legalaid.qld.gov.au/Legal...+law+works.htm
Feb 1st 2010 | 1:16 pm
#80
Banned
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 22,348
Re: DIVORCE.
Good advice, TP 
I understand (and take my hat off to) your good intentions Bernie, but you need to think long and hard before you decide to exit your marriage with nothing. While I fortunately havent been in an "exit marriage" situation myself, I have been in a situation where I've made what I considered at the time to be an honourable/dignified decision which placed me at financial disadvantage. The outcome of that was I was subsequently screwed over by the other parties. My point is don't expect to be treated in the same way by others because it won't necessarily happen. And if your "ex to be" has behaved in a less than honest/honourable way in the past then you have no reason to expect that she'll do anything other than that once you've given her what she wants. Sorry to waffle on
Good luck mate.
I understand (and take my hat off to) your good intentions Bernie, but you need to think long and hard before you decide to exit your marriage with nothing. While I fortunately havent been in an "exit marriage" situation myself, I have been in a situation where I've made what I considered at the time to be an honourable/dignified decision which placed me at financial disadvantage. The outcome of that was I was subsequently screwed over by the other parties. My point is don't expect to be treated in the same way by others because it won't necessarily happen. And if your "ex to be" has behaved in a less than honest/honourable way in the past then you have no reason to expect that she'll do anything other than that once you've given her what she wants. Sorry to waffle on
Good luck mate.
Feb 1st 2010 | 1:27 pm
#81
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 15,526
Re: DIVORCE.
Good advice, TP
I understand (and take my hat off to) your good intentions Bernie, but you need to think long and hard before you decide to exit your marriage with nothing. While I fortunately havent been in an "exit marriage" situation myself, I have been in a situation where I've made what I considered at the time to be an honourable/dignified decision which placed me at financial disadvantage. The outcome of that was I was subsequently screwed over by the other parties. My point is don't expect to be treated in the same way by others because it won't necessarily happen. And if your "ex to be" has behaved in a less than honest/honourable way in the past then you have no reason to expect that she'll do anything other than that once you've given her what she wants. Sorry to waffle on
Good luck mate.
I understand (and take my hat off to) your good intentions Bernie, but you need to think long and hard before you decide to exit your marriage with nothing. While I fortunately havent been in an "exit marriage" situation myself, I have been in a situation where I've made what I considered at the time to be an honourable/dignified decision which placed me at financial disadvantage. The outcome of that was I was subsequently screwed over by the other parties. My point is don't expect to be treated in the same way by others because it won't necessarily happen. And if your "ex to be" has behaved in a less than honest/honourable way in the past then you have no reason to expect that she'll do anything other than that once you've given her what she wants. Sorry to waffle on
Good luck mate.
It was actually my last visitor to Aus.... He was also manager of a large transport fleet in Milton Keynes. Basically walked away from the marriage, with 40,000 quid and the clothes on his back... which was more or less what he started with.
He now has given up his professional life and does what interests him rather than what pays him. So he goes around the world working in places like Safari Parks as he loves animals. He was actually the only person I've had here that could handle more than 3 weeks at my BiL's piggery up in Queensland. Got to say he did more in the Australian outback than any person I've ever met.
He went back and started to work as a ranger at Woburn got some kind of acreditation and apparently is now about to help establish a Safari park in the Caribbean.... on comparatively very low wages I may add. So he has totally changed his lifestye to do things that make him happy albeit with a uncertain financial future..... He would be around 36 years old.
I've heard of a few blokes turning their backs over their old lives because of a Calamitous seperation.
Feb 1st 2010 | 1:47 pm
#83
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 6,600
Re: DIVORCE.
You do not have to pay for anything.
Under Australian law, the only type of divorce is 'No fault divorce'.
This means, regardless of behaviour of either person, the assets, money etc are all put into a pot and split between the two. It matters not whether one person has had it tough or not.
Anything you bought into the marriage with you, stays with you. Anything they bought, stays with them. Inheritance money and goods belong to the person whom inherited it.
If one partner is deemed to have a reduced lifestyle because of the divorce, then that person can claim up to 65% of the split. For example, if a mother gave up her job to look after children at home and the ex partner earns a shite load of money... that sort of thing.
Regardless of whether you bought nothing into the marriage, you supported and earned money and therefore, you are entitled to 50% of the house, goods etc.
To not claim these out of a misguided sense of pride is daft. You don't know what's round the corner and you don't know when you might need money or goods. It costs a lot of money to set up a new life and this has to be taken into consideration.
Oz said correctly, that the time you will feel you should have claimed is the time in the future when you're feeling really good about yourself. I can't stress enough that you really need to do this legally and get it over and done with. It's part of moving on.
You do not have to hire a lawyer to do any of this. The court in Australia prefers you to have a mediation session first. Your local family relationships centre is the place you go for this. If you are the applicant, you have two sessions in interview with the mediator. They then decide how to proceed.
If you've been the subject of domestic abuse (verbal abuse, name calling, shouting, intimidation, having your support networks cut out from underneath you such as your friends being told untruths about you) then you can be given an exemption certificate and then you can apply to the court to sort it out for you.
If there's no abuse and you are happy to mediate, then your mediator will help split everything up, draw up the paperwork and you're done.
You pay an amount according to how much you actually earn, so if you're a low income, then you pay less.
It's much more sensible and stops the situation ending up in court... so be careful what you choose so it doesn't bite you on the bum later. Good luck with whatever you choose.
http://www.legalaid.qld.gov.au/Legal...+law+works.htm
Under Australian law, the only type of divorce is 'No fault divorce'.
This means, regardless of behaviour of either person, the assets, money etc are all put into a pot and split between the two. It matters not whether one person has had it tough or not.
Anything you bought into the marriage with you, stays with you. Anything they bought, stays with them. Inheritance money and goods belong to the person whom inherited it.
If one partner is deemed to have a reduced lifestyle because of the divorce, then that person can claim up to 65% of the split. For example, if a mother gave up her job to look after children at home and the ex partner earns a shite load of money... that sort of thing.
Regardless of whether you bought nothing into the marriage, you supported and earned money and therefore, you are entitled to 50% of the house, goods etc.
To not claim these out of a misguided sense of pride is daft. You don't know what's round the corner and you don't know when you might need money or goods. It costs a lot of money to set up a new life and this has to be taken into consideration.
Oz said correctly, that the time you will feel you should have claimed is the time in the future when you're feeling really good about yourself. I can't stress enough that you really need to do this legally and get it over and done with. It's part of moving on.
You do not have to hire a lawyer to do any of this. The court in Australia prefers you to have a mediation session first. Your local family relationships centre is the place you go for this. If you are the applicant, you have two sessions in interview with the mediator. They then decide how to proceed.
If you've been the subject of domestic abuse (verbal abuse, name calling, shouting, intimidation, having your support networks cut out from underneath you such as your friends being told untruths about you) then you can be given an exemption certificate and then you can apply to the court to sort it out for you.
If there's no abuse and you are happy to mediate, then your mediator will help split everything up, draw up the paperwork and you're done.
You pay an amount according to how much you actually earn, so if you're a low income, then you pay less.
It's much more sensible and stops the situation ending up in court... so be careful what you choose so it doesn't bite you on the bum later. Good luck with whatever you choose.
http://www.legalaid.qld.gov.au/Legal...+law+works.htm
She's absolutely spot on Bernie. I don't know much about your personal circumstances currently, other than what I've read on here. However, I'd imagine that you have been, and will continue to be for some time, substantially disadvantaged, financially, because of your marriage and its subsequent ending. Air fares, deposits for rentals, loss of National Insurance contributions, future pension entitlements, time away from your UK career, potential for a period of unemployment . . . and that's just those straight off the top of my bald head.
From this perspective alone, I'm afraid its an absolute no-brainer. Its not about taking the other party to the 'cleaners', its actually about balance and redress . . . something buddhists apparently know a good bit about.
As others have said, best of luck.
Last edited by spartacus; Feb 1st 2010 at 1:50 pm.
Feb 1st 2010 | 1:54 pm
#84
Banned
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 22,348
Re: DIVORCE.
Why are most of the emoticons bald?
Feb 1st 2010 | 2:03 pm
#86
Banned
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 22,348
Re: DIVORCE.
http://thefuntimesguide.com/images/blogs/best-faces-of-2007-baldy.jpg
Feb 1st 2010 | 2:42 pm
#90
Account Open
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 4,298
From: Brisbane
Re: DIVORCE.
Bernieboy - listen to Tiddlypom. Listen to Spartacus. They are right !!!
Leaving with nothing but the shirt on your back but with your "dignity still intact" is lunacy and while it might mean something to you now, that feeling will disappear in time.
Go for the settlement. Consider this:
In 10yrs, if you still believe that it would have been better to leave "just with your dignity and nothing else" - well you can give the money back to her then.
Whereas, the other scenario is as follows. 10 years pass, and you start to think that you made a mistake not pursuing a settlement. Trust me - she won't give you anything in 10years time...
Leaving with nothing but the shirt on your back but with your "dignity still intact" is lunacy and while it might mean something to you now, that feeling will disappear in time.
Go for the settlement. Consider this:
In 10yrs, if you still believe that it would have been better to leave "just with your dignity and nothing else" - well you can give the money back to her then.
Whereas, the other scenario is as follows. 10 years pass, and you start to think that you made a mistake not pursuing a settlement. Trust me - she won't give you anything in 10years time...
