The 2010 Joke thread (Definitely not child friendly, you've been warned)
Jul 17th 2010, 6:35 pm
#286
221b Baker Street
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Miles from anywhere, Victoria, Australia.
Posts: 14,125
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
A 75-year-old woman went to the doctor for a check up. The doctor told her she needed more cardiovascular activity and recommended that she engage in sexual activity three times a week. A bit embarrassed, she said to the doctor, "Please tell my husband."
The doctor went out into the waiting room and told the husband that his wife needed sex three times a week.
The 78-year-old husband replied, "Which days?"
The doctor answered, "Monday, Tuesday, and Friday would be ideal."
The husband said, "I can bring her on Monday, but on Tuesdays and Friday
I golf, so she'll have to take the bus."
The doctor went out into the waiting room and told the husband that his wife needed sex three times a week.
The 78-year-old husband replied, "Which days?"
The doctor answered, "Monday, Tuesday, and Friday would be ideal."
The husband said, "I can bring her on Monday, but on Tuesdays and Friday
I golf, so she'll have to take the bus."
Jul 18th 2010, 7:54 pm
#287
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 9,397
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
A 75-year-old woman went to the doctor for a check up. The doctor told her she needed more cardiovascular activity and recommended that she engage in sexual activity three times a week. A bit embarrassed, she said to the doctor, "Please tell my husband."
The doctor went out into the waiting room and told the husband that his wife needed sex three times a week.
The 78-year-old husband replied, "Which days?"
The doctor answered, "Monday, Tuesday, and Friday would be ideal."
The husband said, "I can bring her on Monday, but on Tuesdays and Friday
I golf, so she'll have to take the bus."
The doctor went out into the waiting room and told the husband that his wife needed sex three times a week.
The 78-year-old husband replied, "Which days?"
The doctor answered, "Monday, Tuesday, and Friday would be ideal."
The husband said, "I can bring her on Monday, but on Tuesdays and Friday
I golf, so she'll have to take the bus."
Jul 18th 2010, 9:17 pm
#288
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: 13th November Palm Cove
Posts: 693
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
So Rabbi, do you make a lot of money from circumcisions?
'No, I just keep the tips
'No, I just keep the tips
Jul 18th 2010, 9:19 pm
#289
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: 13th November Palm Cove
Posts: 693
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
What's the Difference between KINKY & PERVERTED?
KINKY is when you
tickle your Wifes Arse with a Feather and PERVERTED is when you use
the whole Duck ;-P
KINKY is when you
tickle your Wifes Arse with a Feather and PERVERTED is when you use
the whole Duck ;-P
Jul 18th 2010, 9:38 pm
#290
221b Baker Street
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Miles from anywhere, Victoria, Australia.
Posts: 14,125
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
Do we know what WIFE stands for?
Jul 18th 2010, 10:27 pm
#291
Victorian Evangelist
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Melbourne, by the beach, living the dream.
Posts: 7,704
Jul 18th 2010, 10:35 pm
#293
Account Closed
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 2,195
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
My missus was ravenous last night, she said I want you to give me something 9" long, rock hard and full of spunk.
Imagine her face when I reached under the bed and got her one of my socks
Imagine her face when I reached under the bed and got her one of my socks
Jul 18th 2010, 10:43 pm
#294
Social Grenade Thrower
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: South Coast, NSW
Posts: 3,625
Jul 19th 2010, 2:03 am
#295
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2006
Location: Bonnie Scotland
Posts: 3,681
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
Was this you Steve?
THE ROOM WAS FULL OF PREGNANT WOMEN WITH THEIR PARTNERS. THE CLASS WAS IN FULL SWING. THE INSTRUCTOR WAS TEACHING THE WOMEN HOW TO BREATHE PROPERLY AND WAS TELLING THE MEN HOW TO GIVE THE NECESSARY ASSURANCE TO THEIR PARTNERS AT THIS STAGE OF THE PREGNANCY.
SHE SAID, "LADIES, REMEMBER THAT EXERCISE IS GOOD FOR YOU. WALKING IS ESPECIALLY BENEFICIAL. IT STRENGTHENS THE PELVIC MUSCLES AND WILL MAKE DELIVERY THAT MUCH EASIER! JUST TAKE SEVERAL STOPS AND STAY ON A SOFT SURFACE LIKE GRASS OR A PATH."
SHE LOOKED AT THE MEN IN THE ROOM, "AND GENTLEMEN, REMEMBER -- YOU'RE IN THIS TOGETHER -- IT WOULDN'T HURT YOU TO GO WALKING WITH HER."
THE ROOM SUDDENLY GOT VERY QUIET AS THE MEN ABSORBED THIS INFORMATION.
THEN, A MAN AT THE BACK OF THE ROOM SLOWLY RAISED HIS HAND.
"YES?" ANSWERED THE TEACHER.
"I WAS JUST WONDERING. IS IT ALL RIGHT IF SHE CARRIES A GOLF BAG WHILE WE WALK?"
Jul 19th 2010, 11:19 am
#296
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Tropical North QLD
Posts: 21,434
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
Jul 19th 2010, 6:36 pm
#297
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: 13th November Palm Cove
Posts: 693
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs. Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.
The first woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?'
The man said 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on.
The second woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?'
The man said, 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
The third woman came to him and said, 'Have you ever
been fu*cked?'
The fellow's eyes lit up and with a big grin he said, 'No.'
She said, 'You will be when the tide comes in
The first woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?'
The man said 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on.
The second woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?'
The man said, 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
The third woman came to him and said, 'Have you ever
been fu*cked?'
The fellow's eyes lit up and with a big grin he said, 'No.'
She said, 'You will be when the tide comes in
Jul 19th 2010, 9:28 pm
#298
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 9,397
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
Source unknown....
Jul 19th 2010, 9:37 pm
#299
221b Baker Street
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Miles from anywhere, Victoria, Australia.
Posts: 14,125
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs. Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.
The first woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?'
The man said 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on.
The second woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?'
The man said, 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
The third woman came to him and said, 'Have you ever
been fu*cked?'
The fellow's eyes lit up and with a big grin he said, 'No.'
She said, 'You will be when the tide comes in
The first woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?'
The man said 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on.
The second woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?'
The man said, 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
The third woman came to him and said, 'Have you ever
been fu*cked?'
The fellow's eyes lit up and with a big grin he said, 'No.'
She said, 'You will be when the tide comes in
Jul 20th 2010, 5:53 am
#300
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: 13th November Palm Cove
Posts: 693
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
Jamaican guy goes into his local bank and puts a bag of weed on the counter. the banker says "what the hell you doing?". The Jamaican replies "i want to open a joint account".
