Parent Nightmare
Feb 10th 2004 | 1:39 am
#61
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,638
From: Near Duloc
Hiya guys
I've been putting the parent issue to the back of my mind for a while. My mum was initially shocked, but now wants to come out there and is really supportive. Yesterday I had a phone call from my mum. My dad got really drunk at the weekend, had a "fit" when they were out at a taverna (they live in Greece) and told everyone that I was dead and threatened to take my photos down etc. He said he'd pull the phone out if he caught her ringing me and that he'd tear up my post.
I was quite upset, but I feel that this is really hypocritical since he's never really been there for me. One of the reasons that makes it easy to go is that we won't be leaving family (apart from my brother's family in birmingham, who I will miss a lot). They moved to Greece when I was 19, since then I've married and had 2 kids and my father has been to England 2 or 3 times. He's always been cold and distant and I feel I've been playing "peace maker", trying to keep him calm etc. for too long. Now i've decided to just get on with things and not let this childish behaviour get to me - I think he's just trying a last ditch attempt to control me or something. I do feel sad for my mum, but it's her choice whether she wants to put up with him.
Sorry for the waffle - not good at communicating when I'm in knots!
Larissa
I've been putting the parent issue to the back of my mind for a while. My mum was initially shocked, but now wants to come out there and is really supportive. Yesterday I had a phone call from my mum. My dad got really drunk at the weekend, had a "fit" when they were out at a taverna (they live in Greece) and told everyone that I was dead and threatened to take my photos down etc. He said he'd pull the phone out if he caught her ringing me and that he'd tear up my post.
I was quite upset, but I feel that this is really hypocritical since he's never really been there for me. One of the reasons that makes it easy to go is that we won't be leaving family (apart from my brother's family in birmingham, who I will miss a lot). They moved to Greece when I was 19, since then I've married and had 2 kids and my father has been to England 2 or 3 times. He's always been cold and distant and I feel I've been playing "peace maker", trying to keep him calm etc. for too long. Now i've decided to just get on with things and not let this childish behaviour get to me - I think he's just trying a last ditch attempt to control me or something. I do feel sad for my mum, but it's her choice whether she wants to put up with him.
Sorry for the waffle - not good at communicating when I'm in knots!
Larissa
Feb 10th 2004 | 1:43 am
#62
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,638
From: Near Duloc
PS Had a pm from Tazzy recently as I asked her about supply teaching... think she is working so probably a bit busy at the mo!
Feb 10th 2004 | 1:49 am
#63
I Know What's Going On!
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,499
From: On The Outside Looking In!
Re: parent not wanting us to go
Originally posted by Jennie
I have never used this site before so bear with me. My husband and I want to move to Perth and have just contacted an agent, we have two small children and my husband will have to complete a TRA. My Mum does not want me to go and my Dad does not say much. I think my mum is in denial as when I now mention it she says that if we do get accepted that she will cry (fair enough) and it will probably make her ill, this is now really playing on my mind and I now worry about whether we are making the right decision. The best is when she said to my husband, what are you going to get there - you will get off the plane and then what !! makes me feel like a young girl again and I am 32 and feel about 10 and then I feel angry for feeling guilty - any ideas.
Jennie from oxfordshire
I have never used this site before so bear with me. My husband and I want to move to Perth and have just contacted an agent, we have two small children and my husband will have to complete a TRA. My Mum does not want me to go and my Dad does not say much. I think my mum is in denial as when I now mention it she says that if we do get accepted that she will cry (fair enough) and it will probably make her ill, this is now really playing on my mind and I now worry about whether we are making the right decision. The best is when she said to my husband, what are you going to get there - you will get off the plane and then what !! makes me feel like a young girl again and I am 32 and feel about 10 and then I feel angry for feeling guilty - any ideas.
Jennie from oxfordshire
Steve.
Feb 10th 2004 | 2:07 am
#64
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 3,353
From: GC
Originally posted by Larissa
Hiya guys
I've been putting the parent issue to the back of my mind for a while. My mum was initially shocked, but now wants to come out there and is really supportive. Yesterday I had a phone call from my mum. My dad got really drunk at the weekend, had a "fit" when they were out at a taverna (they live in Greece) and told everyone that I was dead and threatened to take my photos down etc. He said he'd pull the phone out if he caught her ringing me and that he'd tear up my post.
I was quite upset, but I feel that this is really hypocritical since he's never really been there for me. One of the reasons that makes it easy to go is that we won't be leaving family (apart from my brother's family in birmingham, who I will miss a lot). They moved to Greece when I was 19, since then I've married and had 2 kids and my father has been to England 2 or 3 times. He's always been cold and distant and I feel I've been playing "peace maker", trying to keep him calm etc. for too long. Now i've decided to just get on with things and not let this childish behaviour get to me - I think he's just trying a last ditch attempt to control me or something. I do feel sad for my mum, but it's her choice whether she wants to put up with him.
Sorry for the waffle - not good at communicating when I'm in knots!
Larissa
Hiya guys
I've been putting the parent issue to the back of my mind for a while. My mum was initially shocked, but now wants to come out there and is really supportive. Yesterday I had a phone call from my mum. My dad got really drunk at the weekend, had a "fit" when they were out at a taverna (they live in Greece) and told everyone that I was dead and threatened to take my photos down etc. He said he'd pull the phone out if he caught her ringing me and that he'd tear up my post.
I was quite upset, but I feel that this is really hypocritical since he's never really been there for me. One of the reasons that makes it easy to go is that we won't be leaving family (apart from my brother's family in birmingham, who I will miss a lot). They moved to Greece when I was 19, since then I've married and had 2 kids and my father has been to England 2 or 3 times. He's always been cold and distant and I feel I've been playing "peace maker", trying to keep him calm etc. for too long. Now i've decided to just get on with things and not let this childish behaviour get to me - I think he's just trying a last ditch attempt to control me or something. I do feel sad for my mum, but it's her choice whether she wants to put up with him.
Sorry for the waffle - not good at communicating when I'm in knots!
Larissa
Feb 10th 2004 | 2:14 am
#65
Forum Regular
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 94
Re: parent not wanting us to go
Originally posted by Jennie
I have never used this site before so bear with me. My husband and I want to move to Perth and have just contacted an agent, we have two small children and my husband will have to complete a TRA. My Mum does not want me to go and my Dad does not say much. I think my mum is in denial as when I now mention it she says that if we do get accepted that she will cry (fair enough) and it will probably make her ill, this is now really playing on my mind and I now worry about whether we are making the right decision. The best is when she said to my husband, what are you going to get there - you will get off the plane and then what !! makes me feel like a young girl again and I am 32 and feel about 10 and then I feel angry for feeling guilty - any ideas.
Jennie from oxfordshire
I have never used this site before so bear with me. My husband and I want to move to Perth and have just contacted an agent, we have two small children and my husband will have to complete a TRA. My Mum does not want me to go and my Dad does not say much. I think my mum is in denial as when I now mention it she says that if we do get accepted that she will cry (fair enough) and it will probably make her ill, this is now really playing on my mind and I now worry about whether we are making the right decision. The best is when she said to my husband, what are you going to get there - you will get off the plane and then what !! makes me feel like a young girl again and I am 32 and feel about 10 and then I feel angry for feeling guilty - any ideas.
Jennie from oxfordshire
It surprised some of our clients
Cheers
Feb 10th 2004 | 3:31 am
#66
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,017
From: Coogee, Sydney
Originally posted by Larissa
Hiya guys
I've been putting the parent issue to the back of my mind for a while. My mum was initially shocked, but now wants to come out there and is really supportive. Yesterday I had a phone call from my mum. My dad got really drunk at the weekend, had a "fit" when they were out at a taverna (they live in Greece) and told everyone that I was dead and threatened to take my photos down etc. He said he'd pull the phone out if he caught her ringing me and that he'd tear up my post.
I was quite upset, but I feel that this is really hypocritical since he's never really been there for me. One of the reasons that makes it easy to go is that we won't be leaving family (apart from my brother's family in birmingham, who I will miss a lot). They moved to Greece when I was 19, since then I've married and had 2 kids and my father has been to England 2 or 3 times. He's always been cold and distant and I feel I've been playing "peace maker", trying to keep him calm etc. for too long. Now i've decided to just get on with things and not let this childish behaviour get to me - I think he's just trying a last ditch attempt to control me or something. I do feel sad for my mum, but it's her choice whether she wants to put up with him.
Sorry for the waffle - not good at communicating when I'm in knots!
Larissa
Hiya guys
I've been putting the parent issue to the back of my mind for a while. My mum was initially shocked, but now wants to come out there and is really supportive. Yesterday I had a phone call from my mum. My dad got really drunk at the weekend, had a "fit" when they were out at a taverna (they live in Greece) and told everyone that I was dead and threatened to take my photos down etc. He said he'd pull the phone out if he caught her ringing me and that he'd tear up my post.
I was quite upset, but I feel that this is really hypocritical since he's never really been there for me. One of the reasons that makes it easy to go is that we won't be leaving family (apart from my brother's family in birmingham, who I will miss a lot). They moved to Greece when I was 19, since then I've married and had 2 kids and my father has been to England 2 or 3 times. He's always been cold and distant and I feel I've been playing "peace maker", trying to keep him calm etc. for too long. Now i've decided to just get on with things and not let this childish behaviour get to me - I think he's just trying a last ditch attempt to control me or something. I do feel sad for my mum, but it's her choice whether she wants to put up with him.
Sorry for the waffle - not good at communicating when I'm in knots!
Larissa
Feb 10th 2004 | 3:49 am
#67
Banned
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 5,094
Originally posted by Larissa
Hiya guys
I've been putting the parent issue to the back of my mind for a while. My mum was initially shocked, but now wants to come out there and is really supportive. Yesterday I had a phone call from my mum. My dad got really drunk at the weekend, had a "fit" when they were out at a taverna (they live in Greece) and told everyone that I was dead and threatened to take my photos down etc. He said he'd pull the phone out if he caught her ringing me and that he'd tear up my post.
I was quite upset, but I feel that this is really hypocritical since he's never really been there for me. One of the reasons that makes it easy to go is that we won't be leaving family (apart from my brother's family in birmingham, who I will miss a lot). They moved to Greece when I was 19, since then I've married and had 2 kids and my father has been to England 2 or 3 times. He's always been cold and distant and I feel I've been playing "peace maker", trying to keep him calm etc. for too long. Now i've decided to just get on with things and not let this childish behaviour get to me - I think he's just trying a last ditch attempt to control me or something. I do feel sad for my mum, but it's her choice whether she wants to put up with him.
Sorry for the waffle - not good at communicating when I'm in knots!
Larissa
Hiya guys
I've been putting the parent issue to the back of my mind for a while. My mum was initially shocked, but now wants to come out there and is really supportive. Yesterday I had a phone call from my mum. My dad got really drunk at the weekend, had a "fit" when they were out at a taverna (they live in Greece) and told everyone that I was dead and threatened to take my photos down etc. He said he'd pull the phone out if he caught her ringing me and that he'd tear up my post.
I was quite upset, but I feel that this is really hypocritical since he's never really been there for me. One of the reasons that makes it easy to go is that we won't be leaving family (apart from my brother's family in birmingham, who I will miss a lot). They moved to Greece when I was 19, since then I've married and had 2 kids and my father has been to England 2 or 3 times. He's always been cold and distant and I feel I've been playing "peace maker", trying to keep him calm etc. for too long. Now i've decided to just get on with things and not let this childish behaviour get to me - I think he's just trying a last ditch attempt to control me or something. I do feel sad for my mum, but it's her choice whether she wants to put up with him.
Sorry for the waffle - not good at communicating when I'm in knots!
Larissa
Sorry to hear about the grief.
I dont see how it affects him if he's not even in the UK. I could understand if you were really close ect. But thats not the case.
My advice would be to enjoy your move
Feb 10th 2004 | 4:47 am
#68
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: parent not wanting us to go
Originally posted by Jennie
I have never used this site before so bear with me. My husband and I want to move to Perth and have just contacted an agent, we have two small children and my husband will have to complete a TRA. My Mum does not want me to go and my Dad does not say much. I think my mum is in denial as when I now mention it she says that if we do get accepted that she will cry (fair enough) and it will probably make her ill, this is now really playing on my mind and I now worry about whether we are making the right decision. The best is when she said to my husband, what are you going to get there - you will get off the plane and then what !! makes me feel like a young girl again and I am 32 and feel about 10 and then I feel angry for feeling guilty - any ideas.
Jennie from oxfordshire
I have never used this site before so bear with me. My husband and I want to move to Perth and have just contacted an agent, we have two small children and my husband will have to complete a TRA. My Mum does not want me to go and my Dad does not say much. I think my mum is in denial as when I now mention it she says that if we do get accepted that she will cry (fair enough) and it will probably make her ill, this is now really playing on my mind and I now worry about whether we are making the right decision. The best is when she said to my husband, what are you going to get there - you will get off the plane and then what !! makes me feel like a young girl again and I am 32 and feel about 10 and then I feel angry for feeling guilty - any ideas.
Jennie from oxfordshire
Been through similar, you really do have to realise this is your life. There's loads of us who have emotional blackmail etc thrown at us.
Your family unit is the most important aspect, it's your future. You cannot hang around just because others want you too. This may sound awful but older members of your family will not be around forever and friends have a nasty habit of moving when you least expect it. I recently had one friend burst into tears when I told her we were off to Oz, the a few months later she promptly moved to Spain !!
What I think I'm trying to say is, don't stand still, because time doesn't.
Best of luck and hang on in there. You've given them plenty of notice, once they get used to the idea, things will improve. BUT don't let them put you off for emotional reasons.
Jill
Feb 10th 2004 | 4:54 am
#69
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 102
From: South West UK
Originally posted by Larissa .....<snip> They moved to Greece when I was 19, since then I've married and had 2 kids and my father has been to England 2 or 3 times. <snip>.....
Larissa
Larissa
Seriously, if they have been out of UK for so long and left you to make your own way, they have absolutely no right to comment on what you choose to do all these years down the line.
"If life will let you, who is going to stop you?"
Feb 10th 2004 | 4:59 am
#70
....is FAB
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,580
From: Sunshine Coast
Originally posted by Larissa
Hiya guys
I've been putting the parent issue to the back of my mind for a while. My mum was initially shocked, but now wants to come out there and is really supportive. Yesterday I had a phone call from my mum. My dad got really drunk at the weekend, had a "fit" when they were out at a taverna (they live in Greece) and told everyone that I was dead and threatened to take my photos down etc. He said he'd pull the phone out if he caught her ringing me and that he'd tear up my post.
I was quite upset, but I feel that this is really hypocritical since he's never really been there for me. One of the reasons that makes it easy to go is that we won't be leaving family (apart from my brother's family in birmingham, who I will miss a lot). They moved to Greece when I was 19, since then I've married and had 2 kids and my father has been to England 2 or 3 times. He's always been cold and distant and I feel I've been playing "peace maker", trying to keep him calm etc. for too long. Now i've decided to just get on with things and not let this childish behaviour get to me - I think he's just trying a last ditch attempt to control me or something. I do feel sad for my mum, but it's her choice whether she wants to put up with him.
Sorry for the waffle - not good at communicating when I'm in knots!
Larissa
Hiya guys
I've been putting the parent issue to the back of my mind for a while. My mum was initially shocked, but now wants to come out there and is really supportive. Yesterday I had a phone call from my mum. My dad got really drunk at the weekend, had a "fit" when they were out at a taverna (they live in Greece) and told everyone that I was dead and threatened to take my photos down etc. He said he'd pull the phone out if he caught her ringing me and that he'd tear up my post.
I was quite upset, but I feel that this is really hypocritical since he's never really been there for me. One of the reasons that makes it easy to go is that we won't be leaving family (apart from my brother's family in birmingham, who I will miss a lot). They moved to Greece when I was 19, since then I've married and had 2 kids and my father has been to England 2 or 3 times. He's always been cold and distant and I feel I've been playing "peace maker", trying to keep him calm etc. for too long. Now i've decided to just get on with things and not let this childish behaviour get to me - I think he's just trying a last ditch attempt to control me or something. I do feel sad for my mum, but it's her choice whether she wants to put up with him.
Sorry for the waffle - not good at communicating when I'm in knots!
Larissa
Oh Larissa you must be feeling awful.....so sorry to hear you're having such a rough time of it. It must have really hurt to hear he'd said such awful things about you. I think you're right, you've been playing peace maker for far too long and have prob been far too nice too! Don't let any of it get to you......you have to think of your own family now. All you can do for your mum is be there for her but don't get dragged into any childish arguments....(I know....my mother has dragged me into plenty!
)Keep your chin up girl! Give me a bell if you want a chat.
.....or a bevvy 
Feb 10th 2004 | 5:23 am
#71
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 407
From: VISA APPROVED!!!!!
An update since we told ours!!!!!
Dad(Mine)top bloke..says go for it..ETC!
Dad(Ali's)Now started to ask if we have heard any news ..Hows it going ETC!
Mum(Ali's)Has now started talking about great for hols..Looking forward to coming out etc!!
Mum(Mine)OOPS!!!!!!!!!!!Still not said a word about it..Won't say a word to us when she visits kids cept hello...Won't even talk to my bro when he fones from oz..!!(ALL HIS FAULT!!!!!)
Still i'm sure the great Meatloaf said "3 out of 4 ain't bad"!!!!!!!!!!or was it??
LOL
Cheers
scott
Dad(Mine)top bloke..says go for it..ETC!
Dad(Ali's)Now started to ask if we have heard any news ..Hows it going ETC!
Mum(Ali's)Has now started talking about great for hols..Looking forward to coming out etc!!
Mum(Mine)OOPS!!!!!!!!!!!Still not said a word about it..Won't say a word to us when she visits kids cept hello...Won't even talk to my bro when he fones from oz..!!(ALL HIS FAULT!!!!!)
Still i'm sure the great Meatloaf said "3 out of 4 ain't bad"!!!!!!!!!!or was it??
LOL
Cheers
scott
Feb 10th 2004 | 9:19 am
#72
Guest
Posts: n/a
Originally posted by scottalison6
Still i'm sure the great Meatloaf said "3 out of 4 ain't bad"!!!!!!!!!!or was it??
LOL
Cheers
scott
Still i'm sure the great Meatloaf said "3 out of 4 ain't bad"!!!!!!!!!!or was it??
LOL
Cheers
scott
Feb 10th 2004 | 9:22 am
#73
Bitter and twisted
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 17,503
From: Upmarket
Originally posted by ABCDiamond
I'm pretty sure you are right about the Meatloaf quote. I would put the CD on and check, but my wife has hidden them again (Just the Meatloaf oners !)
I'm pretty sure you are right about the Meatloaf quote. I would put the CD on and check, but my wife has hidden them again (Just the Meatloaf oners !)
G
Feb 10th 2004 | 9:36 am
#74
Guest
Posts: n/a
Originally posted by Grayling
Wasn't it 2 out of 3 aint bad?
G
Wasn't it 2 out of 3 aint bad?
G
And now I have something decent to listen to again.
Feb 10th 2004 | 5:52 pm
#75
I Know What's Going On!
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,499
From: On The Outside Looking In!
Originally posted by ABCDiamond
Yep, !! I just found a backup CD in my car, and checked. 2 out of 3 it is
And now I have something decent to listen to again.
Yep, !! I just found a backup CD in my car, and checked. 2 out of 3 it is
And now I have something decent to listen to again.
