E17Avenue

Whether they choose to move or not is up to them still, obviously.

It is their reaction when asked (politely) to do something that would assist a neighbour that pisses me off.

It's the kind of "right to bear arms", "right to piss in my own yard", "right to free speech" BS that drives me out of this country.

And it proves that the stereotype of Midwesterners as friendly is not particularly a 100% match, especially when it comes to interfering with their right to do what they want on their own property.

Tracym

You keep insisting you were polite. But that phrasing ISN'T POLITE. Not here imo.

And "friendly" seems to be defined as "doing what E17Avenue wants".

No, people do NOT like having their right to do legal things on their own property interfered with. Doing you a favour? maybe Responding to a demand? Almost certainly not.

E17Avenue

Well sorry if I failed Americanese at the entrance exam. Next time I will try some flower and see where that gets me. If it fails, it's back to the same old me. No point in using 50 words where 10 get the same response. Smoke blown in my face.

Tracym

Well at least you might have a chance at it. I hope your next attempt works out better. I suppose if you're sure there's no chance at all, perhaps 0 words is the best choice, saves on hard feelings.

It is interesting - the different phrasing sometimes. When my fiance and I are writing letters and emails (for business matters) and consulting each other - we frequently discover some phrase sounds wonderfully polite to one of us, and the other thinks it would be perceived as rude.

meauxna

Those Dale Carnegie people have training course you can go on to learn it.
Wildly popular in the UK, as an interesting aside.

another bloody yank

The thing is, you also have the right to do what you want on your property. It works both ways. If her smoking bothered you, you did the right thing by asking her to move. The problem is that you expected her to do it. You have every right to ask, but don't expect her to comply, don't get pissy when she doesn't, and be (very) gracious if she does.

YEAH! All this "Rights" BS is damn annoying isn't it? Maybe China would work out better for you?


I couldn't have said it better myself.

E17Avenue

...including breathe clean air, which is surely a God-given right, one above all personal desires.

Tracym

Minor problem - separation of church and state.

The laws are not decided based upon "God-given" rights - personal desires for lawful behaviour trump your "god-given rights" in this country.

Feel free to campaign to ban all smoking in the state/country - that IS your right. Probably won't succeed, but you can certainly try.

If you didn't like the smell of their BBQ grill - or their dog - or their truck exhaust, would you try to get them to stop that too? And feel your rights were violated?

E17Avenue

Well I am a vegetarian and I don't have a problem with the smell of grilling...

If I can smell a dog 50 or 30 ft away I would simply recommend they see a vet as that's just unhealthy...

...and there are pollution laws regarding truck exhaust in most places.

Tracym

Well my friend hates grilling smells - does she have the right to ban it from the neighborhood, so she doesn't have to smell it?

Same thing really...

tamms_1965

I hear they have some sweet-smelling air, too, esp. in Beijing.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/china/stor...605146,00.html

E17Avenue

Last thing I knew, smells from grilling are not carcinogenic...

meauxna

So that is a 'no' to the question that was actually asked (and not going off topic)?

google it; you might be surprised!

E17Avenue

Also, a grill is not particularly mobile. Whereas a human with fully functioning limbs *is*, and has full choice in where to stand in her lot. For instance, at the front end instead of the back end where all she has to interfere with is passing traffic.

I'm never gonna win this bloody argument am I, I'm gonna disappear and allow this thread to resume its original meaning (if that's even possible any more).

Tracym

Probably a wise choice.

Of course, if she stood at the front end - she'd be inhaling all the car exhaust. And it wouldn't be as pleasant for her.

My grill is on wheels - I move it around all the time. But smells from a grill permeate an entire neighborhood.

The main point is - you find the smell of cigarette smoke objectionable. Fine, so do I. My friend finds the smell of grilling objectionable. I used to have Philipino neighbors quite nearby - I'm afraid I found the (very strong) smells of their cooking unpleasant.

But these are all legal activities that people are entitled to do. They don't have to change their lives to suit you (or me). Perhaps if asked really nicely, they might. But they don't have to.