another bloody yank

You must have to abandon the premises when she runs the bathroom exhaust fan...

I believe in polite neighbors as well, and would have very politely told you what you could do with your "intake".

catrocks

Ummm... it's not a cult.

But I do sympathise.... we have neighbours downstairs who smoke (we're in an apartment) and our laundry room smells like smoke constantly.

But like people have said, she's smoking outside and it's her property.... perhaps it would be nice if she moved further away from your house, but it's not like she's spitefully blowing it into your a/c. Have you considered febreze?

Tracym

PMSL you ought to read the Illinois goes non-smoking thread. I am about as far from a smoker as you can imagine, I absolutely despise the stuff.

Illinois just went smoke-free in public places, a very strict law - and the smokers have to stay 15 feet from any entrances or windows that open.

And I have asthma, so I've spent a fair amount of time figuring out how far away from smoke I need to be - so as to be ABLE to breathe.

A smoker 50 feet away is really not generally even noticeable.

If you think your right to breathe clean air overrides her right to smoke ON HER OWN PROPERTY, you're definitely in the wrong state and perhaps in the wrong country. Not sure which country would agree with you actually.

As much as I dislike smoking personally, imo, you're way over the top on this one. Sounds very moralistic in addition - if she's hiding if from her daughter, or keeping it out of her house, that's her business really.

And I'd love to see some scientist turn up here - smoke does not go in a concentrated stream in one direction for 50 feet - I'm quite sure of that, but can't quote the science to back it - perhaps someone else will.

E17Avenue

Well she didn't react "politely"...

Same thing happened when we lived in a townhouse with the doors right next to each other and a shared step. So the neighbour was one foot from our front door and the smoke got in our house then. Response was identical. Rude and ignorant.

As for the smoke travelling that far, it DOES, and it DID. You may think I was hallucinating but I know when I smell smoke and I know where it comes from when I do. As stated previously, we are both sensitive to the crap.

Tracym

Well, it would have been nice if she reacted politely. But I wonder how you put it - as a request, or a demand? And I think here, a lot of people would be quite outraged to be told they shouldn't smoke on their own property - it is quite legal after all. You seem to feel that she "shouldn't" and that you are in the right. Whereas truly imo, you needed to be kindly asking a favour, which she was not obliged to grant. Perhaps you did, I don't know, but I wonder.

I do sympathise with not wanting to smell smoke - I certainly don't either. But until laws change, it's pretty much my responsibility to avoid it - I don't feel I can expect smokers on their own property to accomodate me.

My friend can't stand the smell of BBQ grills - but of course, when people grill in their back yard it makes a lot more smoke and smell than one cigarette. But... would you ask/expect that people not BBQ in their backyard?

ugacrew

I think there is a law of physics dealing with this called entropy.

E17Avenue

"Would you please smoke somewhere else in your yard, as it is going into our house"

Maybe it was the Simon Cowell accent that made her assume I was being stroppy about it.

You can throw all the laws of physics you like at me, but I smell my neighbours' smoke from yards away. Depending on air flow (wind direction) it can be in the back yard or the front. But I know where it's coming from. Since that woman moved out, I haven't smelt smoke in our yard at all, and she moved out before the weather turned cold. Maybe it was just her brand.

ugacrew

I don't blame you. I don't smoke and I can't stand the stuff. I lived in an apartment and remember having to deal with the smoke. I couldn't really move since the rent was cheap and the location couldn't be beat. However I still hated it and Febreeze couldn't cut it. I opened windows, did the Febreeze thing, lit candles, vacuumed and cleaned like a fiend, still no go. I think what would have killed the smoke was to take out the carpet and give the walls a couple fresh coats of Killz paint. Also, a massive cleaning of the air conditioner unit.

I'm glad that she moved out and has given you a reprieve from the cigarette smoke.

Bob

Depends where in the North East though don't it, Mainers aren't a bad bunch, nor NH, Vermont...I'll give you Mass and NJ though

Tracym

I'm glad she moved then, and your problem is solved.

Tracym

You know, I was thinking about this. I'm going to stick my neck out here, and hope you will take this in the sprit of kindness, in which it is actually meant.

I'm thinking about how people / requests are perceived. I was just telling a friend of mine - sometimes we are perceived differently than we see ourselves.

I perceive you, on this issue, as somewhat rightiously indignant, and that you feel you are right and the neighbor is wrong. I wonder if she did too.

I also wonder (and here then Brits, and the yanks, can chime in a disagree with me if they think I'm wrong) that sometimes the Brits and the yanks tangle, just by the way things are phrased - and are thus perceived differently than they were intended to be.

"Would you please smoke elsewhere in your yard..." would possibly be perceived by me not as a request for a favour, but rather as something you EXPECT to be done. If I was telling an employee what to do, that's just how I would phrase it. The word "please" just to be polite, but I would expect compliance. Perhaps that's not what you meant, but I suspect that's how many a yank would take it. And you're also right, sometimes the Brit accent can sound "haughty" to the yanks - unfortunate, and it shouldn't, but sometimes it does.

If I were trying to get that neighbor to do what I'd want, I probably would have said something like "I'd like to ask you for a possible favour... my wife and I are SO extra-sensitive to smoke, that even though you're fairly far from my house, we're still able to smell the smoke. I'm sure you never would have thought of that. Do you suppose there's possibly somewhere else in your yard, a bit further from us that you could smoke? I'd really appreciate it if that would work out."

Now, you might have gotten the same response. But if she was rude to that, then I'd think she was at fault.

Bill_S

Eli Lilly, for one.

keira-2007

Hah Tracy! All that coming from the lady who just last week stood in a car sales garage ever-so-not-politely telling the manager that he didn't know what he was talking about! I know it's not the same as tactfully asking someone not to smoke on their own property.. but practice what you preach girlfriend!!!

Incidentally, I can remember being in the bath upstairs at our house in England, and being able to smell fresh cigarette smoke... My hubbie was supposed to have quit smoking, so it struck me as odd. So I got out the bath and looked out the window and sure enough, there he was secretly puffing on a crafty fag... I had no windows open - only the vent that's supposed to dispel moist air... alright he wasn't 50 feet away from the house, but I could still definitely smell it very clearly!

Back to the OP's question... Illinois is very flat but it's also very nice, good schools, good jobs around Chicago area and very civilized! Which is always very important... Can't comment on the others because I haven't been, but they all sound very nice too!

tamms_1965

You called? Smoke (a gas mixture) goes from higher concentration to lower concentration in the act of 'diffusion.' Kinetic theory states that the motion of these gas molecules is rapid, constant, and RANDOM. They are bouncing off each other and anything they come into contact with like miniature bouncy balls on crack. The higher the molar mass of the gas (heavier) the longer it takes to diffuse and vice versa. I highly doubt that the OP is smelling her neighbor's cig smoke. 50 ft is a long way for one smoker's fumes to travel.

tamms_1965

It used to bother DH when he first moved to the US to hear kids yelling and carrying on when they're playing football 2 houses over, but I told him 'tough shit,' that's just the way it is. At least they're not boozing it up and cursing (or in our front garden). I actually like to see kids (of all ages) doing something that's good for them and staying out of trouble. If it means we have to listen to some occasional outbursts, then so be it.