Whch State ? Indiana /Illinois/Ohio or Michigan
Jan 31st 2008, 5:13 am
#106
Lost in BE Cyberspace
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Re: Whch State ? Indiana /Illinois/Ohio or Michigan
You can highly doubt all you like. I did smell it. Simple as that. It may not have been 50 ft, in fact from the edge of the yard to our intake (whatever that may be) it was probably more like 30ft.
As for the option of how to ask them to smoke elsewhere, all I can think of when reading that text is the Grim Reaper saying "you Americans and all your words..."
I am definitely more Simon Cowell than I am Paula Abdul. I get the point made. If Paula Abdul gave me a compliment I'd never know it. But Simon Cowell, you know what he means from the word go. You'd think with the popularity of that show and the Weakest Link when that was around, people would get the point by now. We say what we want to say with limited output. A little bit of Germanic efficiency.
As for the option of how to ask them to smoke elsewhere, all I can think of when reading that text is the Grim Reaper saying "you Americans and all your words..."
I am definitely more Simon Cowell than I am Paula Abdul. I get the point made. If Paula Abdul gave me a compliment I'd never know it. But Simon Cowell, you know what he means from the word go. You'd think with the popularity of that show and the Weakest Link when that was around, people would get the point by now. We say what we want to say with limited output. A little bit of Germanic efficiency.
But anyway, I'm glad the neighbor moved, and you aren't bothered by it now.
Jan 31st 2008, 5:19 am
#107
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 35,082
Re: Whch State ? Indiana /Illinois/Ohio or Michigan
As for the option of how to ask them to smoke elsewhere, all I can think of when reading that text is the Grim Reaper saying "you Americans and all your words..."
I am definitely more Simon Cowell than I am Paula Abdul. I get the point made. If Paula Abdul gave me a compliment I'd never know it. But Simon Cowell, you know what he means from the word go. You'd think with the popularity of that show and the Weakest Link when that was around, people would get the point by now. We say what we want to say with limited output. A little bit of Germanic efficiency.
I am definitely more Simon Cowell than I am Paula Abdul. I get the point made. If Paula Abdul gave me a compliment I'd never know it. But Simon Cowell, you know what he means from the word go. You'd think with the popularity of that show and the Weakest Link when that was around, people would get the point by now. We say what we want to say with limited output. A little bit of Germanic efficiency.
Jan 31st 2008, 5:37 am
#108
Queen of my house
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,043
Re: Whch State ? Indiana /Illinois/Ohio or Michigan
You can highly doubt all you like. I did smell it. Simple as that. It may not have been 50 ft, in fact from the edge of the yard to our intake (whatever that may be) it was probably more like 30ft.
As for the option of how to ask them to smoke elsewhere, all I can think of when reading that text is the Grim Reaper saying "you Americans and all your words..."
I am definitely more Simon Cowell than I am Paula Abdul. I get the point made. If Paula Abdul gave me a compliment I'd never know it. But Simon Cowell, you know what he means from the word go. You'd think with the popularity of that show and the Weakest Link when that was around, people would get the point by now. We say what we want to say with limited output. A little bit of Germanic efficiency.
As for the option of how to ask them to smoke elsewhere, all I can think of when reading that text is the Grim Reaper saying "you Americans and all your words..."
I am definitely more Simon Cowell than I am Paula Abdul. I get the point made. If Paula Abdul gave me a compliment I'd never know it. But Simon Cowell, you know what he means from the word go. You'd think with the popularity of that show and the Weakest Link when that was around, people would get the point by now. We say what we want to say with limited output. A little bit of Germanic efficiency.
You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.
Jan 31st 2008, 5:39 am
#109
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Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 448
Re: Whch State ? Indiana /Illinois/Ohio or Michigan
I have heard that phrase so often I am almost off honey... and I quite like the taste of vinegar.
What I don't like is not being able to tell if someone is annoyed at me or wants to pay me a compliment, as in "honeyese" you can often not tell...
What I don't like is not being able to tell if someone is annoyed at me or wants to pay me a compliment, as in "honeyese" you can often not tell...
Jan 31st 2008, 5:44 am
#110
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Re: Whch State ? Indiana /Illinois/Ohio or Michigan
I think you are confusing tactful vs. blunt with concealed vs. honest.
Catch more flies with honey just means to be tactful and nice - at least as a first attempt. Which tends to get you better results.
You can be honest, but still tactful.
The example I gave was honest - I was asking for a favour. Nicely.
If your position is that she should do what you're telling her, your approach was honest. But unlikely to work.
Jan 31st 2008, 5:50 am
#111
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Re: Whch State ? Indiana /Illinois/Ohio or Michigan
If it's a choice between fifty pretty words against a simple polite sentence, I will always choose the latter.
If the other person perceives something else, then it can also have something to do with her judgement being "clouded"...
If the other person perceives something else, then it can also have something to do with her judgement being "clouded"...
Jan 31st 2008, 5:58 am
#112
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Re: Whch State ? Indiana /Illinois/Ohio or Michigan
You go with that, I'm sure it will work out as well for you as it has so far.
Jan 31st 2008, 6:21 am
#113
Queen of my house
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,043
Re: Whch State ? Indiana /Illinois/Ohio or Michigan
Last edited by tamms_1965; Jan 31st 2008 at 6:24 am.
Jan 31st 2008, 6:29 am
#114
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Re: Whch State ? Indiana /Illinois/Ohio or Michigan
The difference between you and Simon Cowell is key here. On American Idol for instance, he is in the position of power. When you're asking a neighbor not to do something on their own property that bothers you - then you are not in the position of power, and must instead attempt to persuade them to accommodate the favor you requested. Don't forget that it was a favor - they were under no obligation.
Jan 31st 2008, 6:32 am
#115
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Re: Whch State ? Indiana /Illinois/Ohio or Michigan
The difference between you and Simon Cowell is key here. On American Idol for instance, he is in the position of power. When you're asking a neighbor not to do something on their own property that bothers you - then you are not in the position of power, and must instead attempt to persuade them to accommodate the favor you requested. Don't forget that it was a favor - they were under no obligation.
Jan 31st 2008, 6:38 am
#116
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Re: Whch State ? Indiana /Illinois/Ohio or Michigan
But as I stated initially... it was not exactly "vinegar" that she was faced with. It wasn't all pretty and flowery and politically correct, but then again nor was her decision to stand one inch from the edge of her lot and smoke, allowing said smoke to blow almost exclusively into my lot.
Jan 31st 2008, 6:39 am
#118
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Re: Whch State ? Indiana /Illinois/Ohio or Michigan
And what about the townhouse neighbour who smoked within a foot of our front door? And still refused when asked politely?
Jan 31st 2008, 6:42 am
#119
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Re: Whch State ? Indiana /Illinois/Ohio or Michigan
You are in America. We are not all going to change to your way of doing it.
As far as the other neighbor - just because you ask someone politely, still does not mean they HAVE to comply. You are asking a favour. They are not obligated.
Now... I think it would have been nice of them to be accomodating, I would have in something similar.
Jan 31st 2008, 6:45 am
#120
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 35,082
Re: Whch State ? Indiana /Illinois/Ohio or Michigan
But as I stated initially... it was not exactly "vinegar" that she was faced with. It wasn't all pretty and flowery and politically correct, but then again nor was her decision to stand one inch from the edge of her lot and smoke, allowing said smoke to blow almost exclusively into my lot.
If you don't see any value in modifying the way you do things to potentially get a better result, what's the point of the conversation?
(note: I am not trying to win you over to my way of thinking today; I'm either over it or trying to speak your language).
I read many, many times here where a Brit will say "How RUDE" over such and so that was simply worded economically. So, I don't buy your argument that this is a national trait of efficiency. Maybe you were just too.. well, too.
