Michael

I'm going to try to clarify the tax credits a bit so that you don't have to read through Publication 503 since it is very complicated to figure out.

There are two tax credits that you are eligible for. The first is the child tax credit which is a $1,000 and is refundable. That credit is automatic whether you work or not. So if your husband or both of you have a combined income equal to or less than about $33,000, you will get a tax refund. At an income of $33,000, the tax refund will be only about $70 but if your income is $23,000 or less, you'll get about a $1,000 refund. The reason that you get a refund of about $1,000 for income at or below $23,000 is that there is no tax due for a family of 3 and therefore you get a refund equal to the child tax credit. With an income of $33,000, you still get the $1,000 tax credit but it is applied to taxes owed which is 10% of your income between $23,000-$33,000 ($10,000 * 10% = $1,000 taxes owed).

The second tax credit that you are eligible for is the child care tax credit which is a maximum of $3,000 that is 20%-35% (depending on income) of your child care expenses incurred while looking for a job or working. Although I previously stated this tax credit is refundable, it is not and can only be applied to taxes owed. At incomes below about $38,000, the tax credit is 35% but as your income increase, the tax credit slowly declines to 20% when your income reaches $71,000 or more.

The following are a couple of examples that will hopefully clarify the tax credits a bit.

Example 1:

Total Combined Income: $37,700
Tax Owed Without Tax Credits: $1,500
Total Child Care Expenses: $6,000
Total Child Care Tax Credit @ 35%: $2,100
Total Tax Owed With Tax Credits: $1,000 Refund

Example 2:

Total Combined Income: $50,000
Tax Owed Without Tax Credits: $3,245
Total Child Care Expenses: $6,000
Total Child Care Tax Credit @ 29%: $1,740
Total Tax Owed With Tax Credits: $505

In the above examples, the number may not appear to add up. For example in the first example there are total tax credits of $3,100 ($1,000 for the child tax credit and $2,100 for the child care tax credit) but the taxes owed were only reduced by $2,500 from $1,500 to a refund of $1,000. However since the child care tax credit can only reduce taxes to $0 and not more, only $1,500 of that was used and the $1,000 child tax credit was used to give you a refund of $1,000. On the second example, all the tax credits were used ($2,740 total) to reduce the taxes owed from $3,245 to $505.

Emma M

I would LOVE to cook. It's one of my passions She doesn't like me in her kitchen. I've said I want to help with household cleaning, etc. she doesn't want to know. I've even said it would make me feel more useful if I helped around the home, but nope, she blows me out.

Emma M

Yes it should! I think that many people, myself included, get so caught up in how "awful" their current situation is, and get thinking that the grass is greener. Now, with us, we thought that this was a good idea. I've lived here before so I knew what the US is like, but I was not prepared for his parents or being put in the position of sacrificing everything, including my independence. I don't think the answer is for us to go back to the UK, as that takes money, and if we had that sort of money we could just as easily move out of here with it.

Emma M

Thank you Michael for the tax credit info, I will look it over.

Emma M

I had briefly looked into this, so my info is probably incorrect, but I gathered that the joint sponsorship is more to satisfy USCIS, but the US government don't actually hold anyone to it, that they wouldn't go after a joint sponsor and get them to hold their side of the bargain if a PR filled for benefits.

Noorah101

No, it's not just to satisfy USCIS. Your sponsor and joint sponsor both signed a binding contract (form I-864) with the US government to repay any means-tested benefits you might receive. It also promises to maintain the immigrant at the minimum poverty level as designated on the I-864P (125% column). It's a contract, and it's enforceable.

The US government WILL hold the sponsor and joint sponsor to it. They will first go after the sponsor, and if the sponsor cannot pay, they will go after the joint sponsor.

Rene

Mummy in the foothills

It all sounds awful. You'll get lots of help and ideas from this lot.
Go and apply for WIC too, it'll give you vouchers for some milk, veg, eggs, beans etc each month and they are very easy to qualify for, you'll need a month of pay stubbs from your Dh and ID showing the address you are at. I've always found the WIC ladies to be very nice and helpful and you get all kinds of other info there too, like how to sign up for preschool etc.

Trixie_b

I really sympathize, BUT i will say that every single one of your answers seems to be an excuse as to why you can't change it. I know you want some TLC, and I'd love to take you out for a coffee or out of the house and help. (Sadly California's a long way)

But sometimes you need a friend or someone to say, "I hear ya, it's terrible, now shake it out and DO SOMETHING."

I understand that it's depressing, but you actually haven't got much to lose. Get up early - Start cleaning the house - say you're going to cook for your child separately from now on, tell them that he needs fresh veg for health. tell them that you need a ride to the supermarket.
And while you're there say you're going to prepare a meal as a thank you. Tell them you'll be insulted if they don't let you.

EDIT: Don't ask for permission, take control!

ANYTHING - once they taste your cooking, they may change their mind. (PS don't' serve chili and rice, Americans think it's weird apparently).

Honestly, if you continue to believe you're trapped in hell, you will be. If you think you have power to change it, even in a small way, you will be able to....

Giantaxe

It would probably be very difficult now anyway, given the UK government's new income requirements on the British citizen bringing in a non-citizen spouse.

Sponsor is presumably OP's husband and is now working. Joint sponsor is providing financial support for "groceries etc" and presumably can also point to the notional rent that the accommodation they're providing represents.

ian-mstm

If the FIL is truly an abusive alcoholic, then anything he says will be a lie. If the husband didn't think that his dad was "quite as bad as he is"... then, with all due respect to the OP, the husband is in denial... or is also lying and attempting to minimize and/or excuse dad's behavior.

Ian

Sally Redux

That is certainly an elephant in the room.

WEBlue

Or the husband may have genuinely not understood how bad his dad had become until he & his family moved in. That is quite possible, given that the couple lived in another country and only came back for visits.

The alcoholism would also explain why promises were made that are not honoured (such as the house being cleaned up for the visitors, and the babysitting offer that never happened), why the atmosphere is full of tension, in fact a lot of the unhappiness in the house. I feel for everyone concerned, but even talking straight will not solve the problems if it's alcohol dependency & co-dependency (the alcoholic's long-time partner) that is fueling them.

Best things, as everyone has said, is first for Emma to learn to drive to get herself & the baby out of that house temporarily, and secondly to eventually move the family out into their own quarters.

Jerseygirl

Emma did you drive when you lived in NC?

Emma M

Including a spouse you have been married to for over 5 years?

Emma M

No, but we did have our own apartment which helped immensely. The worst thing I got was bored when I was there lol.

Well, thank you everyone for your advice, I have read each one and I will take it on board and do something about it, but thank you for reading my rants