cindyabs

I had some clients who had just graduated from college and wanted to go to Disney for their Honeymoon-Disney has a Honeymoon Registry program. All they wanted for wedding gifts was money to pay for their honeymoon. Their reasoning was that they were joining the Peace Corps and going off to Africa, so they didn't want or need a bunch of stuff they would have to put in storage.

The plan was that the guests were supposed to contact me with their contributions so that I could put it toward what the couple had picked out for the honeymoon package. Interestingly enough there were only 9 people who did this, and these were mainly the bride's relatives. However, one gal called in and said, well I am from the South and this isn't how we do things, I will give a small contribution but I am also going to buy them a gift.

The Horticulturalist

*sigh*

What a waste of her money to buy them something they didn't need! When we got married one of my husbands aunts said that she would buy us either a hoover or a nest of tables, I'm not big into nests of tables and we had a hoover already, but hey ho, she got us another hoover anyway....

You can't dictate to people what to get you, but I'd really hate to think that I had got something that people either already had or that they wouldn't use.

cindyabs

I agree, it was all about what the person giving wanted, not the recipient.

Jerseygirl

According to this morning's NBC Today Program...it is now perfectly acceptable to include the website address of the bridal registry with the invitations.

Jaxbar

Okay my two penneth, just cos we are live here does not mean we have to conform to what the locals do, lets educate them and do it whatever way we choose.

i got married to an American in the UK we asked for no gifts, but if desired, money for our honeymoon, this was included in a note in the invite with directions and other info, everyone complied including the Americans, we dont do showers so dont ask for gifts otherwise.

Compare this to a wedding I went to last week where there was no mention of how to make a gift so we went to a gift store near the Church where we bought a photo frame and had it gift wrapped as did another couple we knew at the wedding, so useless gifts or what you really want?

Real friends are not offended by an honest request. i have known other people ask for money for new kitchens etc, I would rather give people what they want especially when money is tight.

ugacrew

That has to be the most backward AND obnoxious thing I've heard. That attitude is very archaic and harks back to colonial days when those you landed upon where considered substandard and had no clue what was 'proper'. Please revise your position.

Jaxbar

Sorry you feel that way but I was being fairly tongue in cheek re the educating.

The whole point of posting on here is supposed to be to discuss issues of being British in the US and how we all handle that in different ways. this is where we can say stuff we wouldnt say to our US friends and get a UK perspective.

if you seriously find that obnoxious you probably wouldnt like the UK and backward, well, pretending you dont want a gift and waiting for people to figure out how to give one seems more backward to me.

penguinbar

There is nothing wrong with putting a card in the invite saying where you are registered.I live in New York City and lots of people do that. I love Bed Bath and Beyond by the way! Even if you are not near the store you can order online. Although I always give cash as a wedding gift. Everyone seems to be happy with that!

ugacrew

That's in NYC. It's different in the South. Everyone keeps forgetting that the relatives are from there. That's what you base your decision on. Not what's exceptable in NYC or San Francisco or Chicago or.....

penguinbar

I have gotten wedding invites from friends and reltives in South Carolina, Georgia and Virginia and all of them mentioned where the bride and groom where registered. It's better then getting a bunch of the same gifts!

christmasoompa

In the UK, it's definitely the 'done thing' to put a little card in with the invitation giving details of the wedding list - I don't recall a wedding invite I've ever received that hasn't had one in.

But on the flip side, here it's considered incredibly bad manners to buy something that isn't on the list!

I'm all for the traditional etiquette (formal replies to invites, not wearing cream or black, not taking hats off until Mother of Bride does, etc, etc) but sadly so few people follow it these days and I guess informing people of exactly what present you'd like is just following the trend!

Irn-bru

When I got married I didn't put the wedding list in the invites personally I think its too pushy, I waited for them to ask, most did. It's what I did with British weddings as well, when I got the invite I asked them for the updated list (they crossed of things people had already spoken for). I never got a list in with the invites.

Maybe today people being busy just want the list in with the invites it does seem people do that now and it seems mostly expected. I guess its all down to a personal preference.

penguinbar

We just had our pre wedding party or engagement party in Scotland. My fiancees parents wanred to through us a reception before he moved to the states. Everyone gave us cash

Bob

Just noticed this, congrats on the wedding

Personally, I wouldn't bother with letting people know, unless it's for a local weird store, as most people would just stick your names into the usual suspects, BBB, WS, Potterybarn, JC Pennys etc and find your list..

One thing worth doing, have people write their name and address on a card by the guest book or whatever, that way you can send a thank you card quickly.

Speaking of, we still haven't recieved a thanky card from that wedding we went to in Rhode Island over a month ago or so...twunts.

Kaffy Mintcake

Really good advice on the thankyou's Bob - some people will never forgive a couple if they don't receive a thank you - and they can be overwhelming to keep up on. Planning ahead is key.

I also agree with you regarding the ease of finding someone's registry. I always go to: www.weddingchannel.com. You can almost always find someone's registries there - all in one place.