Kaffy Mintcake

Perhaps this has gone the way of thank you notes, etc. Traditionally it's poor manners to include the registry information.

Yes, it is customary for the wedding party to pay for their attire. You're right, that can be tough because you can shell out a lot of money as part of the wedding party. If the bride and groom are respectful, they won't pick something that would break the bank.

ugacrew

It must be a cultural thing then. In the south particularly there is a 'way' of doing things that aren't as progressive as the West Coast where Folinksyinla is. Traditions in the South are a bit old fashioned. So to have registry info in the invite is seen as a no-no. It's like people are saying 'You're invited to my wedding and this is where you need to buy me my gifts from. So gimme gimme gimme.' It's seen as a bit obnoxious. Most people who are invited to weddings know that there is a registry involved somewhere and will do the footwork themselves of find out the list. I did this with the last wedding I was invited to. I asked the bride where she was registered and it went from there.

Kaffy Mintcake

Not sure - I grew up one hour south of Canada. Maybe it's a midwest/Southern thing. Those on the coasts have always been a different sort ...

RoadWarriorFromLP

Providing it is actually a courtesy to the guests, as they can avoid embarking on a quest to find out where you are registered. But if there are regional differences in etiquette that make it verboten in some places, so be it, I'm not going to argue.

If you do provide the information, though, I'd include it in the handy dandy supplement, of course. Engraving it in the invitation would push the envelope of hipness, to be sure. You can pass on the corporate logos, coupons and brochures, too.

TKO

Thanks for the continuing discussion, very interesting.

As for the bridesmaids dress - we paid for her friends dress but her sister insisted on paying for her own, so we didn't argue to hard. As for the guys, we've all got our kilts so no problems there.

ugacrew

For the sake of argument, what part of the country do you live?

Kim_Abdn

Just wanted to say congrats on your coming wedding!

bevinva

You can always search registries on various websites by name and date of wedding. I look at what they have listed and hit the outlet malls to get it cheaper.

another bloody yank

http://www.uglydress.com/

Rete

You're not kidding, right? You actually "asked" your guests to pay for your move?

Here in New York City area it is the norm to give a cash gift at the wedding reception (not at the service and gifts are never expected from those who are not invited to the reception). I have been to weddings in more rural areas where gifts were the norm. I'm assuming you are in the rural area location if you asked for money instead of gifts.

Rete

And not the thing done in the NE. That is what bridal showers are for.

The wedding and reception invitations are given to those you are close to and who you want to share your happiness with. It is not a plea for money or gifts.

Folinskyinla

Hi:

I asked my wife about this string -- and her comment was that notice of registration was made with Bridal Showers -- after all, this is a naked request for gifts.

She noted that it is more and more common to list the registrations adjunct to the invitations. She felt it can be tacky, but rather than as a solicitation for gifts, if done right, it serves the purpose of simply making it easier for the guests to make their purchases by knowing the couple's likes and/or needs. She also likes the idea of giving multiple registries -- some guests can afford only the $15.00 from Bed, Bath & Beyond while leaving room for the rich relatives to go to Neiman-Marcus. It also pays to remember that one need not purchase from the registry in any case.

She does NOT like seeing the requests for no gifts but money only -- which she has seen -- but this is usually from a particular ethnic group.

As the group of marriageable couples expands in California tomorrow, I'm sure there will be different ettiquete questions.

meauxna

Dirty hippies?

joto

We received an invite to a wedding in the UK and a note was put in with the invitation where the couple had registered for gifts. I didn't mind in the slightest as it makes it easier for us to choose something the young couple would want.

OurLass

Native Californian here - just ducking in to give my 2p. People do sometimes put cards in the invites, but it isn't the "done" thing. No one is really going to be annoyed if you do, but it is considered to be a little naff. Normally, though, you'd ask around with people who'd know.

The only times I've received an invitation with registry info included were when guests were being collected from a grand post-uni diaspora - many of us living in other parts of the world. The thinking was that it might be easier for the guests to log into a website and order or reserve a gift for the couple in their home town, rather than having to choose a gift and send it from overseas, with all the risks of damage in transit and customs restrictions.

Honestly, though, no one is going to boycott or badmouth your wedding if you decided to send a registry info card with your invite. No one you'd actually want at your wedding, that is!

Congratulations