Wow, sorry to hear that ffff, i do hope you are fully recovered and are feeling much better now? Yes i agree. the airlines are very good that way, i previously had to use this service myself when flying.
Sorry if my last post was a little confusing I was referring more to someone been able to meet me at the other end (England) not thinking that i would simply get in a cab to final destination even though i'm unsure of where that will be right now??? One day at a time huh Many thanks both (((Hugs)))

Wow, Beth! More power to your elbow!!! I sense a powerful new you in 2009!

It sounds like you are on the way - from what I can gather, much of middle America is engaging in the jingle mail response to their mortgage demands so you wont be Robinson Crusoe!

Thanks quoll I do feel more optimistic i must admit, i just wish i'd found the courage to open up sooner. Joining this forum has certainly helped and given me the boost i so desperately needed (sincere thanks to everyone) I'm under no false illusion that i have some challenging times ahead, but...i know it will all be worth it in the end!!

I think a great deal of your recovery will start the second you get off the plane and see a familiar anything, heck even an EXIT sign in the airport. You'll start a mental recovery that's going to feel great from the get go. Being home can do that, even as you sort through so many of the other challenges you'll be facing.

As for your house, have you considered a real estate management (letting) agent? For a fee, you can often rent out the house having them handle all the little things like broken pipe, collecting rent, etc. At the very least you might be able to recover the mortgage payment month to month until you are better settled to deal with disposing of that asset (and as you probably know now really isn't the best time to sell).

Barring that, talk to the mortgage company. The last thing they want is for you to foreclose. It's like the old wives tale--if you owe someone $1,000 and can't pay, then you have a problem. If you owe someone $250,000 and can't pay, then THEY have a problem. You probably have far more leeway than you could imagine, including perhaps a short term 'payment holiday' if you asked for it. In the end, there is 'the keys are in the mail option' but really consider if there is someway to get something out of the equity you've built up over the last few years. You'd be surprised how flexible someone with a huge debt can be.

Anyway, good luck with your next adventure.

It is not an illegal act to walk away from your mortgage in the US. They may, though it is unlikely, attempt to recover any loss in civil court. But that is a civil matter, not a criminal one.

I agree penguin, and if i wasnt for my disability i'd be kissing the ground the second i got off the plane too!! The mortgage is in my name but he is still on the title (i live in a community state) so anything to do with the house requires his signature. Renting is not an option i'm afraid (i went down that path a long time ago) and at the end of the day if sanity is all i have left...then so be it! I dont have much choice but to sell or hand the keys back! My home has already dropped 30k in the last 8mnths with no real sign of any improvement anytime soon, and although i agree now is not a good time...i don't really have much choice! The longer i stay, the worse it's getting. If i'm lucky enough and can sell quick, i can (hopefully) cover the existing balance plus realtor fees etc, if not then jingle mail it is. I have to get away from him and this extremely unhealthy situation...and fast, i really don't know how much longer i'l last if i dont! Its a new year and i'm staying positive that it will all work out in the end.....somehow/someway?? Many thanks for the input

What area of the UK would you go back to Beth?

North Yorkshire hopefully ffff.

Great.

Have you investigated any sources of help in that area for when you return?
I have a feeling in my water about you. I reckon you will be surprised how much help you are going to get.

http://www.seattle.gov/womenscommiss...s.htm#domestic

Your comments made me smile ffff...thank you, i do hope you're right! I see my doctor next week (Tues) not sure if he has to contact SS (at this end) or i do? I hate to admit it but i do need immediate physical help first. We have had 3ft of snow where i live....i cant even get to my mail box Once i speak with SS next week i am hoping we can be liaise with SS in England. Not giving up on the divorce aspect just yet either....i have a free 30min tel call with an attorney tomorrow....will know more then. I know it's limited but any legal help at this point is appreciated, who knows....it may open a few more doors and widen my options?? It's a start anyway

Thanks for the link fatbrit, have a free call tomorrow but trust me the justice system here is absolutely nothing like back home Not giving up though

Normally, I'd be persuading someone to stand up, divorce and use VAWA to take their US citizenship at this point. You have plenty of law on your side and could demand alimony off him equal to the federal poverty level.

But your post has persuaded me that you want to return to the UK and there is little, if any, chance of you returning to the US. You say there's nothing left in the kitty, and there is therefore little point in hanging around -- especially with domestic violence in the picture. The divorce can be done from elsewhere, and not paying your bills is a civil, not a criminal offense.

Get out as soon as you can -- the shelters will help, and catch the plane ASAP. There is no reason not to!

Absolutely!! I too had considered that option and under different circumstance i would have applied for my USA Citizenship...but not now!! I am also informing immigration of my return (as soon as i know when and where that will be) and will be telling them why! You are so right fatbrit....after this nightmare experience, plus all what's ahead...the chances of my ever returning (perish the thought) is ZERO!! Thank you so much for your help and comments!

Update!
Yet another exhausting week making endless phone calls resulting in one door slammed after another! I cannot believe that anyone anywhere can live (exist) like this! Its a cruel vicious circle! I have contacted every resource available including a crisis centre. I not only feel degraded....but so damn helpless! I have gotten so weak i tried to open a tin of corn beef last night (3days without food) i didnt have the strength to successfully open it and ended up slicing my finger and fainted seconds later! I was stuck on the floor for over an hour before i could reach my phone for help! I have explained everything (even at the hospital) repeatedly, and all i get back is 'You need to go home and quick' As if i didnt know this already, when i inform them i am completely dependant on someone i have had no relationships with for 4yrs, i am again told to get a 'No contact order' which yes will prevent him from coming anywhere near me....but how then will i have any financial support (which by law he HAS to provide)? I'm stuck in a system which clearly does NOT work and i get passed along like a piece of garbage. I'm exhausted beaten down and feel i have no 'Human rights' at all, and the state i live in (WA) has clearly failed me! I feel violated and helpless and dont know how much longer i can hold on?

Sorry to all who have read this for sounding off....i am just at the end of my tether with frustration. I take 3 steps forward....then 10 back! I truly feel like going public and contacting every newspaper (here and in England) and informing them of what i can only describe as a never ending nightmare! I saw on the home page GMTV were looking for people to tell their stories, and after what happened last night i was ready to open up. I sent a quick email informing them i had posted my story on the 'Expats discussion forum' Only to recieve a postmaster failed delivery back. I give up... its not just the silence anymore...i feel completely powerless in the hope of ever getting out of this living hell!! Again sorry for sounding so upset...i just dont know where to turn or what else to do???