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Need your support and some thoughts

Need your support and some thoughts

Old Sep 12th 2007, 2:03 pm
  #1  
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Default Need your support and some thoughts

I'm sorry i'm not very original here but i can't figure it out myself.
I'm very optimistic person usually, but last 4 months I've been rather
unhappy with no visible reason for it rather than..homesickness..
I live in a beautiful place,have a great OH,have a job, but every morning i'm trying to pull myself out of the bed and wonder where the old myself go?
I feel guilty because the saying "home is where you heart" isn't really working on me.My heart-my husb is here but still i feel so out of place.:curse:
Does anyone have the same feeling of guilt when u have ur perfect life here and it doesn't make you happy?

Sorry i don't know if it makes any sense
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Old Sep 12th 2007, 2:06 pm
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Default Re: Need your support and some thoughts

Originally Posted by Kida View Post
I'm sorry i'm not very original here but i can't figure it out myself.
I'm very optimistic person usually, but last 4 months I've been rather
unhappy with no visible reason for it rather than..homesickness..
I live in a beautiful place,have a great OH,have a job, but every morning i'm trying to pull myself out of the bed and wonder where the old myself go?
I feel guilty because the saying "home is where you heart" isn't really working on me.My heart-my husb is here but still i feel so out of place.:curse:
Does anyone have the same feeling of guilt when u have ur perfect life here and it doesn't make you happy?

Sorry i don't know if it makes any sense
Oh of course it makes sence, most of us have been through what your feeling now. Welcome to BE anyway Kida
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Old Sep 12th 2007, 2:09 pm
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Default Re: Need your support and some thoughts

Thx!I've just been going crazy lately having all this in my head
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Old Sep 12th 2007, 2:12 pm
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Thumbs up Re: Need your support and some thoughts

Four months is such a short period of time; the first few weeks one is so busy doing things that once the initial euphoria is over, things seem a bit flat. I think most expats - or certainly expat women - have gone through this and it's called "culture shock"....google it and you may realise you have it!

Try St. John's Wort (should be able to find it in Wholefoods) and that may lift your spirits. (Warning; do check if you can take it if you're on the Pill...)


http://myglobalcoach.com/_wsn/page8.html

and an article an expat wrote on this very same website about culture shock:

http://britishexpats.com/articles/fa...-homesickness/

Hope it helps! We've all been there and after nearly 13 years of living overseas (Singapore and US) I still get bouts of homesickness.....

Last edited by Englishmum; Sep 12th 2007 at 2:18 pm.
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Old Sep 12th 2007, 2:16 pm
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Default Re: Need your support and some thoughts

Originally Posted by Kida View Post
Thx!I've just been going crazy lately having all this in my head
Before resorting to happy pill's "and dont think you can do with out them", try some St Johns Wort All thanks to our lovely mod on here JG "I think she's got shares in the company" but they really do something thats for sure.
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Old Sep 12th 2007, 2:16 pm
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Default Re: Need your support and some thoughts

Hello and welcome to BE.

You've been through the 'honeymoon' period and reality is setting in. Most of us have been in your position...I use St John's Wort and find it really helps lift those blues.

Anyway you've found us now...so when you're feeling a little down just log in here there's usually someone around to chat to. Whereabouts are you in the US? There may be some members who live nearby.
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Old Sep 12th 2007, 2:20 pm
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Default Re: Need your support and some thoughts

I think homesickness seems to come and go (for me anyway) I can be fine for a good few months then horribly homesick for a while. Any chance of a trip home? That would give you something to look forward to. If it's any consolation I fee slightly out of place wherever I live
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Old Sep 12th 2007, 2:22 pm
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Default Re: Need your support and some thoughts

Thx guys!It really helps to know that i'm not weird feeling like this.

I've been living here for almost a year and this "unhappyness" started on the 8th month, before that everything was great.And nothing caused it i was perfectly fine and then one morning i woke up feeling strange and now here I am.
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Old Sep 12th 2007, 2:27 pm
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Default Re: Need your support and some thoughts

Originally Posted by Kida View Post
Thx guys!It really helps to know that i'm not weird feeling like this.

I've been living here for almost a year and this "unhappyness" started on the 8th month, before that everything was great.And nothing caused it i was perfectly fine and then one morning i woke up feeling strange and now here I am.
The reality had set in that you was here for the long haul and are you?
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Old Sep 12th 2007, 2:34 pm
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Default Re: Need your support and some thoughts

Bleedin women ..you give them a nice kitchen ...and still they moan ...
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Old Sep 12th 2007, 2:43 pm
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Default Re: Need your support and some thoughts

Originally Posted by Ray View Post
Bleedin women ..you give them a nice kitchen ...and still they moan ...
Yep it's how we are
Sometimes i wish that everything was that simple as having a nice kitchen,
but it's not..What also bothers me is that I thought i was strong and when i moved here the word homesickness wasn't even anywhere close in my head.
But then it hits u really hard and u don't understand what is going on.
I just though, maybe i should write a book about it?!

Just one more question for you guys: how long does it generally take till u start feeling normal again.(i know it's v personal, but still)

thx again everyone!
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Old Sep 12th 2007, 2:47 pm
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Default Re: Need your support and some thoughts

Originally Posted by Kida View Post
I'm sorry i'm not very original here but i can't figure it out myself.
I'm very optimistic person usually, but last 4 months I've been rather
unhappy with no visible reason for it rather than..homesickness..
I live in a beautiful place,have a great OH,have a job, but every morning i'm trying to pull myself out of the bed and wonder where the old myself go?
I feel guilty because the saying "home is where you heart" isn't really working on me.My heart-my husb is here but still i feel so out of place.:curse:
Does anyone have the same feeling of guilt when u have ur perfect life here and it doesn't make you happy?

Sorry i don't know if it makes any sense
It's a horrible feeling, i felt like i was missing out back home all the time but everyone there was envious of what i was doing. After my first visit back to the UK I felt a lot more settled although I still had bouts of feeling homesick. Having been back in the UK for 18 months I am really missing the US, probably more than I did the UK, I have been back to the US 4 times as I work as a self employed consultant for the company still and they want me back, each time was great and I felt like i was home again, I'm just so concerned about feeling what i felt before and the huge wrench again as this time it will only be myself and my son and i'd be leaving someone behind to.

Maybe a visit back to the UK would help you, you might be suprised how much you miss being in the US.

Kit
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Old Sep 12th 2007, 2:49 pm
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Default Re: Need your support and some thoughts

Originally Posted by Kida View Post
Yep it's how we are
Sometimes i wish that everything was that simple as having a nice kitchen,
but it's not..What also bothers me is that I thought i was strong and when i moved here the word homesickness wasn't even anywhere close in my head.
But then it hits u really hard and u don't understand what is going on.
I just though, maybe i should write a book about it?!

Just one more question for you guys: how long does it generally take till u start feeling normal again.(i know it's v personal, but still)

thx again everyone!
Well when some of us or most of us have felt like you do now, it seem's to take 2 to 3 year's and you battle on or give up, I've given up after 5 years now, long enough to know I'll never settle, so we are returning home next month
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Old Sep 12th 2007, 2:49 pm
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Default Re: Need your support and some thoughts

Originally Posted by nethead View Post
I think homesickness seems to come and go (for me anyway) I can be fine for a good few months then horribly homesick for a while. Any chance of a trip home? That would give you something to look forward to. If it's any consolation I fee slightly out of place wherever I live
That's pretty much how I feel. On the whole I manage to 'keep happy' because I go back home at least twice a year, and I know that it's not forever.

Being married to 'one of them' is of course different, because it could indeed turn out forever. One thing I would advise to the OP is not to have children until she is sure that she would be happy staying here until they are grown up. I have read too many stories of women being trapped in a place that makes them unhappy, without any hope of being able to return while the children are under age.
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Old Sep 12th 2007, 3:08 pm
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Default Re: Need your support and some thoughts

Yeah I'm married to an american and NO children (as you said till i figure stuff out).I really like it here logically, but the problem is that the feelings are playing tricky game with my head.I keep thinking of this place as the one where i'm gonna live for a while and..it hurts.

I went home not long ago, hoped that i would immediately miss US, but nope
everything felt familiar and mine.
I was even ok with the negatives because i didn't expect them to change.
What I really hoped is that coming back here i will look at everything with different eyes.Well i did and i didn't.
Funny never knew i've been so attached to my previous life/home.
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