Joint Accounts
#106
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by sibsie
Mr Sibsie and I are having this "thing" over joint accounts. At the moment our finances are separate. I have a monthly income which goes into my account and his salary goes into his. We don't have a mortgage for me to contribute as the house is his outright and in some trust thing in his name alone.
I have some savings in Euros which Mr Sibsie wants to put into a joint $ account but I'm for various reasons, I'm not keen on bringing it over here. I have no prob in making him a beneficiary on my accounts but he's adamant that my money has to be in joint names. Suffice to say it's causing some tension! :scared:
Do you all bother with joint accounts for everything?
I have some savings in Euros which Mr Sibsie wants to put into a joint $ account but I'm for various reasons, I'm not keen on bringing it over here. I have no prob in making him a beneficiary on my accounts but he's adamant that my money has to be in joint names. Suffice to say it's causing some tension! :scared:
Do you all bother with joint accounts for everything?
That aside - in your case, as you state it:
Here's a "Rule of Thumb" which always works for me.
If it looks like a rat,
and it smells like a rat,
it's usually a rat.
#107
Re: Joint Accounts
Sibsie, I'm so very sorry that things have turned out like this for you. I can only echo what the others have said - keep your own assets separate until you decide for sure what you want to do. It sounds like Mr S is partly paranoid that, should things go down the road to divorce, you would take everything he has, as his ex-wife seems to have done previously.
However things work out for you, I wish you all the best.
Big hug.
Debbie
However things work out for you, I wish you all the best.
Big hug.
Debbie
#108
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Joint Accounts
all our accounts are joint - what's mine is hers and what's hers is mine and I don't think either of us would have it any other way
marriage, more than any other type of relationship, has to be based on total trust ... though, where pressure is coming from one side only, that trust is obviously not there ..
I feel the same about pre-nuptual agreements - how can you possibly go into a marriage, having made arrangements for its failure? that is alien to me
marriage, more than any other type of relationship, has to be based on total trust ... though, where pressure is coming from one side only, that trust is obviously not there ..
I feel the same about pre-nuptual agreements - how can you possibly go into a marriage, having made arrangements for its failure? that is alien to me
#109
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by Brit'n'TX
all our accounts are joint - what's mine is hers and what's hers is mine and I don't think either of us would have it any other way
marriage, more than any other type of relationship, has to be based on total trust ... though, where pressure is coming from one side only, that trust is obviously not there ..
I feel the same about pre-nuptual agreements - how can you possibly go into a marriage, having made arrangements for its failure? that is alien to me
marriage, more than any other type of relationship, has to be based on total trust ... though, where pressure is coming from one side only, that trust is obviously not there ..
I feel the same about pre-nuptual agreements - how can you possibly go into a marriage, having made arrangements for its failure? that is alien to me
However, sometimes having separate accounts is just a matter of convenience or personal preference. As long as nobody is keeping "secret" accounts it really doesn't indicate a lack of trust. Perhaps within the couple if their money spending habits clash.... it can just be a good way to keep the peace. Having separate accounts (in a case such as that) can actually indicate that they have complete trust in each other.
#110
Re: Joint Accounts
I've only read through to page three of this one so forgive me if I'm repeating anyone...
I'd be very concerned if I were you. My wife and I do have a joint account but it is used solely for transferring money over the internet without having to go into the bank or taking out cash. It's usually empty.
My suggestion would depend on how ballsy you were feeling.
To suggest that a Joint account makes the marriage is bollox. A marriage is a two way street.
I would suggest that you agree to put all of your money where he can access it if he puts all of his money where you can access it.
If he doesn't like it... find a lawyer!
Sounds like he got screwed in his previous marriage and is now very suspicious of it happening again. However, by acting like that, it sounds like he is speeding up the demise of his seconds marriage. How ironic.
Not a nice situation!
I'd be very concerned if I were you. My wife and I do have a joint account but it is used solely for transferring money over the internet without having to go into the bank or taking out cash. It's usually empty.
My suggestion would depend on how ballsy you were feeling.
To suggest that a Joint account makes the marriage is bollox. A marriage is a two way street.
I would suggest that you agree to put all of your money where he can access it if he puts all of his money where you can access it.
If he doesn't like it... find a lawyer!
Sounds like he got screwed in his previous marriage and is now very suspicious of it happening again. However, by acting like that, it sounds like he is speeding up the demise of his seconds marriage. How ironic.
Not a nice situation!
#111
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by Leslie66
Yeah, pre-nuptual agreements always seemed strange to me. <shrug>
#112
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by sibsie
Anyway, thanks for the support everyone. I'm sure I'll get it sorted out with my ideal being that I manage to fix something up when I go back to London for a visit next month.
Based on previous discussions, I'd say you've given it a VERY good shot. I'm going to work on an appropriate cover story to buy you 6 months.
Hang in there, and do NOT bring the money over.
#113
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by snowbunny
In a community property state, they can make sense if there is going to be inevitable "comingling" of assets, and you want to protect some of them. In my case, I have to walk the line between protecting some things for my children and sharing my income in good faith with a spouse. (A will is not enough in a community property state.)
#114
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 22,105
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by Leslie66
Well, I think what Brit's point is (and I agree with) is that if you go so far as to marry somebody then you trust them implicitly and know in your heart that they will look out for your dying wishes (in your case that your children would receive certain things). Otherwise, why not just live together or have a committed relationship outside of marriage?
Personally Sibsie, I wouldn't move money anywhere if I was so unsure of my relationship....but then again you probably already know that and have been told more than once. So I'm just repeating myself. Best of luck in the coming days ahead.
#115
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: the wrong place
Posts: 892
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by sibsie
He wants the house to stay in his name along with all his assets. He said if I bring my money over then we have have a joint current account which I'm not especially keen on as he's a bit of a control freak. Things aren't especially fantastic so I want my money as emergency exit money if needs be. He reckons we don't have a "proper" marriage until I've done it so I'm under quite a bit of pressure
if you are writing this you KNOW deep down not to do it.........it's not as if you are young kids starting out...........DON'T DO IT