oceanMDX

LOL, I enjoyed that.

Brit Vic

Its not all sunshine and bigger houses, Im just glad to know Im not the only one who hates life over here, and with Christmas looming, well its a hard time to get through, wishing you was home.

CalgaryAMC

You're in Virginia Beach too. No shit. What size rims you got?

martlet

I'm with you on that. I moved here 10 years ago with my American husband, after he was laid off when we were in Germany and there was no work to be had ... either there or in the UK. We live in rural Missouri and, although it is only about 50 miles from St. Louis, it could be on another planet. I'm a pretty outgoing person and have friends going back years, through several moves, but after all these years, I can't say that I have more than one solid friend in the area --- and he is in St. Louis.

Admittedly, it could be where we live, but I find Americans take themselves incredibly seriously, their PC-ness doesn't take well to my northern English bluntness and I'm forever treading on toes. Of course, it doesn't help that we are anti-war, at least, this one, in Iraq (hubbie was 23 years in the USAF, so he has earned his opinion) and we have found ourselves ostracised in our entire neighbourhood for the last 20 months, simply because we displayed a Not In Our Names sign. Hubbie was even accused of being a communist!

We would both return to England in a heartbeat, if the cost of housing hadn't skyrocketed way beyond our means. Ultimately, we may retire in France or Germany.

Oh, and I forgot to say, we have two grown daughters in the UK, with a couple of grandkids, so I suspect missing them skews my views, so ignore me.

callé

Hi Martlett.
I know the prospect of high property prices can be scary... but it seems you would have more to lose staying here! With your daughters and grandchildren in UK, and being that you hate it here, seems that you could find somewhere to live to get started back over there. We are taking a big chance selling all we have and going home but I cant see staying here and being unhappy. Hard work does not scare me and I know it will be a battle, but one I'm willing to fight.
I know what you mean about friends as well. I grew up here and have had many friends over the years. Still my closest friend is my cousin back in UK. seems 'friends' here are your friends when it's convenient for them, not through all as it should be. Maybe its just the ones i've met and would hope some are not like that. that's just my experience.
Hope you can resolve what you should do. best to you.

immunise

I too am tired of the seriousness of Americans, the bland humour, the ridiculously long working week, the ego you have to deal with daily in the work place, the fakeness of people, the crappy holiday entitlement, the awful food (I don't care what people say - having a big portion doesn't make it good food!), the high cost of living, terrible drivers, bizarre road rules, lack of street signs, did I mention bland sense of humour, people getting so easily offended at anything anyone does or says, the absolutely shocking healthcare (and I work in a hospital), the high cost of healthcare, the arly mornings, the early to bed evenings, the lack of social life, the bigger is better mentality......I don't want to go on and on, sorry.......you get the idea...8 months isn't that long is it??? This will have been the two crapest, longest and miserable years of my life, I can't wait to shred that green card on the 16th July 2005!

CalgaryAMC

But you are surrounded by comedy. You simply have to be able to enjoy the absurdity of what you see around you.

Terrible drivers, for example. What's not to laugh at? It's hysterical; they're like drunken 2 year olds behind the wheel of a monster truck. The continuous stream of near misses and chaos are invigorating. Yesterday I saw a woman mount the curb and knock her wing mirror off on a sign when she was attempting a u-turn. Ironically, the sign was a no u-turn sign. That was in the afternoon. In the morning of the same day, I saw the aftermath of a five-car pile up on I-264 that resulted after someone had dumped a full barbeque and dining set onto the highway. As I speak, one of the chairs -- looks like Haynes, but hard to say -- is still there, upright, on the shoulder.

BritGuyTN

yeah - i'm somewhat in agreement

when saturday night live is the height of entertainment you have to wonder
large portions of cheesy/greasy crap at o'chareys/olive garden/(insert chain restaurant here) are not my idea of good food

however, i live in a progressively liberal city in the south, where there is no state income tax and I can write sales tax off against federal income tax

so i get

Sunshine
Huge historic (for america) house
Great car
Ability to go to good independent restaurants where they serve good food in european sized portions
Increased driving abiity due to having to constantly watch out for cracked out individuals patrolling the main roads near here

So - as always, its what you make of it that matters

Living in new england woud take away most of the things i like about america, so the region makes a HUGE difference to the quality or style of living you enjoy (or not as the case may be)

oceanMDX

LOL! At least Virginia Beach has sharpened your sense of humor.

CalgaryAMC

Having moved to this place, I have gone through symptoms resembling the Stockholm syndrome. It started with horror and outrage, moved to despair and despondancy, and now I kind of like my captor.

oceanMDX

LOL. So, in general, how do you like living in the good ol' US of A?

oceanMDX

Just don't tell them what you really think, or you'll get a one-way ticket to Fallujah.

CalgaryAMC

Haven't made my mind up about it yet. I don't think we have entirely overcome the usual frustrations and of an international relocation. However, my wife - the American - is quite certain that she hates it, and is determined that she will never grow to like it.

It does appear to be taking a lot longer to find our feet here than it has done after previous international moves. But we may be getting older and less adaptable. I would be surprised if we were still in Virginia Beach in six months; I think we need somewhere a little bit less silly and a little bit more grown up.

NC Penguin

I had to check your location when I read about the egos of Americans. Ah, I see. You're in CA. That explains things.

I live in the South (as in N. Carolina) and I haven't run across too many egos at work nor in my personal life.

Yes, the state of healthcare in the US is shameful. Hardly the stuff of the biggest economy in the world, is it?

Every country has its good and bad points. I'm not one who'll take the US at face value and embrace all its shortcomings. Otherwise, I'd just turn into an American who has an insular view of the world and assumes anything American is the best. This is a generalization but it's surprising how many Americans think like this.




NC Penguin

martlet

Not just scary. Truly beyond us for the moment. We are hoping that before my husband's retirment, which isn't too far off, prices in England will have fallen a tad and our house over here will have risen a tad, then we will be able to afford something akin to a bedsitter. In the meantime, we visit home as often as we can, to see those grandkids.

BritGuy
That's what I used to think. Then, last year, on the morning war broke out, I was out for breakfast with a former friend. I really, honestly, truly did not want to discuss it but the friend pressed every button. She sounded exactly like a parrot, repeating verbatum .... "evil dictator"... "gassed his own people" ... "supports terrorism". I handled that well. But when she started on about "Old Europe" and started pointing out all the "faults" of the French and Germans and then telling me what the British people think, I took the bait. Before long, the waitress refused to serve me and an entire restaurant of people sat and stared at me as if I had just sprung horns and cloven hooves. Since then, people have thrown things at our house and I've had nasty phone calls.

I long to just be able to go into a pub and have a good argument with friends about BOTH politics AND religion, then order the next round, knowing there will be no rancour.

But, in the spirit of this discussion, there are things that I do love about being here, such as the open space and the wildlife. As for "things", since my husband was in the USAF, then worked for a defence contractor attached to US bases, we've always had the material benefits of American living, so they don't count for much in my equation. However, you do get more for your money.

I guess in the final analysis, my recommendation to anyone would be to give it a try, but not to burn their bridges. My brother was in the US for about ten years and loved it ... although he moved to Canada once he had a wife and kids.