Leslie

Octang Frye

Sorry about that. Well, I meant a partner to share things with.

I still prescribe a course of dancing lessons.

kins

I don't really find the NE that way - I'm in Maine and I find people very genuine and friendly. But maybe I just have low standards

I do get completely sick of being asked where I'm from though...

To the OP, I'm sorry you're feeling that way. It sounds like a double whammy of work and health problems. I hope things look up soon.

Jerseygirl

It never bothers me...I'm proud to say I'm from England. Although I sometimes say New Jersey and watch the on their faces.

Redwing

Sorry to hear about your troubles RG. As others have suggested, maybe you should try a change of scenery. I can't comment on your neck of the woods, as the closest I've been was a year in Jersey, but I have not had a problem making and keeping friends. Perhaps I am easy to please, but I know there are 4 or 5 at least I could call on if I needed them, and they would come.

Thydney

Hello Rockgurl long time no see we ended up coming back and TBH this place is just as bad for eg the local hospital has just been rebuilt at £ X billion and they are already sacking staff and shutting wards. I really hate the way England has changed.

Hope things pick up

Rockgurl

Thanks all for your replies. Lovely to see some of the old timers here (meant very affectionately BTW! ).

Rete, one of the saving graces is my band, and yes we still perform. They are pretty much my closest friends and thank god for them. We do manage to have a lot of fun and have been quite successful, so it's one of the shining lights of being here. Thanks for remembering. You're right about the NE...it's become even more competitive I believe, and now the recession has started to bite healthcare, I'm really feeling it!

The illness thing has sucked the life out of me. I was diagnosed with Endometriosis, and have had 3 surgeries so far and am facing a 4th quite soon. Obviously there's no cure so it's something I've resigned myself to, but it's progressive and I do struggle sometimes. On the other hand I do go to the gym very regularly which I love, but have not made any friends there at all. It keeps me moving though.

coopa-troopa...you too eh? Do tell!

augigi....I hear you with the writing up thing. It seems like no one gives you a chance of the benefit of the doubt. It's so esy to lose your job here and you feel like to have to constantly perform and kiss ass to be one of the chosen few. I hate that.

Leslie....glad to see you haven't changed! *smooch* And no, I don't need a man! LMAO. I'm still with my partner...it will be 10 years in January.

dunroving...lovely to see you! So glad you made it back home....how brave of you! Is academia any different over there or is it similar? I'm contemplating going back to school for a higher degree but have no idea what to expect except for a big bill! And you're not an old fart in the true sense of the word...just in the fond sense! Yes I do have a GC and am probably going to do the citizenship thing very soon...this year even. After going through all of this I want to cement my options!

TimFountain...good point and glad you understand. I'm glad you have a couple of foreign friends...they must find it easy to identify with you. BTW...good memory!

Jerseygirl...when I get asked where I'm from I usually say Alabama. The look on their face is priceless. They actually believe me for a minute!

Redwing, it does make sense to move, but it's taken me so long to build what I have that in this recession I just can't face another move. Getting a job in healthcare is such an ordeal because they make you jump through a million hoops. You have to declare who your greatgrandmother was married to and what grades you got in primary school etc. You know what I mean.

Thydney, lovely to see you! Sad to hear about the hospitals back home. It was only a matter of time though as they were unsustainable before. Glad you made it home safely. What made you come back?

Octang Frye

My son's mother is a nurse. She has endometriosis. It first manifested itself in college. She was very ill with it. She started doing acupuncture and it really helped her out. As you know, most pregnancies with endometriosis are ectopic, but we have our wonderful son.

Kristin swears by her acupuncture.

Rockgurl

Thanks for that. You're actually the second person to mention that to me this week. I think I should look into it. Unfortunately, things are so far gone that my insides are all eaten away so I have to have some bits cut out (sorry...TMI ) but everything's worth a try.

Congrats on your son!

Manc

I swear a course of red wine and nights out on the piss is in order.


preferably in the UK.

JohnD63

Now i feel your pain I got that all the time when i was in Florida.

JohnD63

No, but it numbs the pain by creating another pain

dunroving

Academia is VERY different here, hence I have been trying to get a job back in the States for the past couple of years (2nd place has been the best result so far). If you need any advice on studying for a higher degree (UK? US?) feel free to pop me a PM.

Glad to hear you and your partner are still together - was reading between the lines of your earlier posts and wondering, but didn't like to jump in and ask.

Gyms are the WORST places to meet people so I'm not surprised you haven't made any friends there (but keep going, it's good for your health!). If you like physical activity and want to meet people, have you thought about using MeetUp.com (or local ads) to look for a local yoga, walking, or cycling group? From my experience, those types of activities attract a more social crowd than the gym (sorry to any BE gym-members, I know there are normal people who visit the gym but really, you do get an odd bunch at a lot of these places).

usoruk

Hi, RG-I do not remember your earlier post, but I know how you feel right now. it is difficult to make long-lasting, deep friendships especially when you move to a new country as an adult.
Most good friendships, I think, are made earlier on from school/uni's. For me my best friends are still in the UK, the few US friends I have tend to be through the kids, otherwise not much esle in common. We perhaps chat once in a while and rarley see each other except on school functions! Nobody invites anybody over for a cup of water, let alone for a cuppa!!
We previously lived in NJ, currently in AZ (and are moving back to NJ-yay!! will talk re-this on another post) and my 5 very close friends there, were themselves from overseas!! They had the same mentality as me, we all loved inviting each other over for tea and snacks, the hospitality was just the same as I had experienced in the UK, chatting over garden fence, borrowing cups of sugar, kids play dates, and genuine kindness ie I was never left standing at the frontdoor in the stifling 100+ degree heat at a "friend's" home!! I have probably only been inside 2 friends homes here. I think that is the way some people interact here.
It does bother me that I invite everyone over all the time and make lavish meals at a drop of a hat , yet nobody would invite us over - esp. here in AZ. Also, I notice that I could easlily become like them and I don't want to be like that- I think the Americans like the English kindness and gestures so it is best to do what you can, stay true to your values and how you have been brought up-ie invite prospective "friends" over- prepare a typical English tea and have a chat-they may enjoy it and get on your wavelength eventually. Sometimes it is better to stick with other expats for long term companionships, deep chats etc-they know how you really feel about things incl. humour, the good 'ole day stuff back home, and stick to the American "friends" for general aquaintances, but do not expect much from them, unless you feel a proper friendship coming on.

koetsier

Hi there

i am sorry you feel like that, however i am not sure you can put it down to the americans, i am a south african living in the UK, i have been here 7 years and at the end of the month am moving to the USA. I have felt exactly like you feel in the US, my experiences have been the same here, its just culture differences, i miss my friends back home in SA at the end of the day, the UK is your home no matter where you live it will never be home, as globe trotters these feelings are inevitable and after 7 years here i still feel the same as you. The only remedy is to return home back to where you fit in. I am also sick of everyone here in the UK asking me if i am australian! If another person says to me i love you accent i am at breaking point, for goodness sakes its only an accent, so i understand.........

sorry for your experience but the food, culture etc will never ever be home!