Difficult to make friends in America?
Nov 16th 2012, 2:19 pm
#511
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Have to find a differentchickbeforewesetoffonourdrugriddentravels
Nov 16th 2012, 2:34 pm
#513
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
A bit of K-Stew?
Nov 16th 2012, 2:37 pm
#514
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Wotcher fakey.
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
Nov 16th 2012, 3:17 pm
#516
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
While this is a fairly interesting subject for me- I have to say that a) my personal experience in the US seems to be pretty different to many who have posted in this thread. Ive met a lot of Americans, most of whom I liked, nearly all of whom were very easy to get along with & 3 of whom are pretty good, close friends. Ive met a lot of people I found fairly impressive 1 way or other.
BUT - & this is really my point & I hope no- one finds it too provocative or even offensive- but our ( English/ British) experience of immigration in the US is probably one of the most benign & friendliest of any ethnic group in human history. As reported by some on this thread, Americans smile at us, shake our hands, ask us how y'all doing, invite us to dinner in their homes. And some of them even want to take it places & do things with us that dont bear writing about in a family newspaper if you know what I mean.
When my Grandad turned up in London in the 40s he couldnt even get somewhere to stay because stuck up English landladies wouldnt rent rooms to Irish. He and my Grandmother were confronted with outright hostility, violence, discrimination etc when Ive spoke with him about how he could handle it he just shrugged and said expect nothing less from the English, thats the way they are. This is a man who could speak 5 languages and spent 20 yrs digging ditches and having people frequently call him to his face a thick Mick, dumb Paddy- whatever. Now obviously we like to put it down to history, different eras etc but let me tell you, when my (now ex) American wife & I lived in London in the 90s loads of people came out with anti American jibes, snide remarks etc & to my shame I almost never pulled them up on it - passing it off like they did as 'just banter' & her growing unhappiness about it was largely her American inability to understand 'irony' & the English sense of humour.
I don't mean this to be as bitter or anti English as it may sound. Im English. End of story. But I think people have to be realistic.
Immigrating somewhere is hard. Its their country. They dont have to like us. But in my personal experience most Americans - or enough Americans- are fine people. If you are finding it hard believe me I sympathise- I find it hard too. But reading this thread I wonder a bit what people expect. Imho there are specific practical reasons why & also practical solutions. But maybe Id best save that for sermon # 2 eh lol. Thanks for your time.
BUT - & this is really my point & I hope no- one finds it too provocative or even offensive- but our ( English/ British) experience of immigration in the US is probably one of the most benign & friendliest of any ethnic group in human history. As reported by some on this thread, Americans smile at us, shake our hands, ask us how y'all doing, invite us to dinner in their homes. And some of them even want to take it places & do things with us that dont bear writing about in a family newspaper if you know what I mean.
When my Grandad turned up in London in the 40s he couldnt even get somewhere to stay because stuck up English landladies wouldnt rent rooms to Irish. He and my Grandmother were confronted with outright hostility, violence, discrimination etc when Ive spoke with him about how he could handle it he just shrugged and said expect nothing less from the English, thats the way they are. This is a man who could speak 5 languages and spent 20 yrs digging ditches and having people frequently call him to his face a thick Mick, dumb Paddy- whatever. Now obviously we like to put it down to history, different eras etc but let me tell you, when my (now ex) American wife & I lived in London in the 90s loads of people came out with anti American jibes, snide remarks etc & to my shame I almost never pulled them up on it - passing it off like they did as 'just banter' & her growing unhappiness about it was largely her American inability to understand 'irony' & the English sense of humour.
I don't mean this to be as bitter or anti English as it may sound. Im English. End of story. But I think people have to be realistic.
Immigrating somewhere is hard. Its their country. They dont have to like us. But in my personal experience most Americans - or enough Americans- are fine people. If you are finding it hard believe me I sympathise- I find it hard too. But reading this thread I wonder a bit what people expect. Imho there are specific practical reasons why & also practical solutions. But maybe Id best save that for sermon # 2 eh lol. Thanks for your time.
Traditions really do matter and sometime they butt up against one another. The tradition of taking the piss or being cool calm and not showing your emotions is bumping up against the tradition of being polite,charming and kind toward(I like you,I think you're wonderful,you seem like a wonderful person ect) people that are showing impressive outward traits that are admired in America.But if there is anyone in the world that understands the importance of following traditions it should be the Brits.From the Monarchy,to spending time at the local Pub,to that footy thing you do with SOCCER balls(
) to Wimbledon. Tradition guides us all. So the next time we bump uglies, just laugh and say there it went again.
Nov 16th 2012, 3:34 pm
#517
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 228
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
While I agree with most of that, the stuff about traditions is very telling, to me. In America a large proprtion of the population seem to have a great deal of pride and respect for their traditions and history. Imho sometimes it can go a little too far. But England is largely the opposite in my experience. For instance the Pledge of Allegiance my children say in school every morning. I think this is an impressive, unifying ritual that seems to embue a sense of pride in many Americans in who they are and how they got there- rightly wrongly or otherwise. In England his kind
Nov 16th 2012, 3:38 pm
#518
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Posts: 228
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
of thing is largely looked on with absolute horror as jingoistic, nationalistic brainwashing blah blah blah- which of course it is if you choose to look at it that way. I grew up in a part of London where British history & identity was something to be practically reviled. This seems to have changed a bit now, at least with the recent Royal wedding and elections there seemed to be a fairly open pride in the country - which is g
Nov 16th 2012, 3:46 pm
#519
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Posts: 228
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
good I suppose- but imho fairly superficial & temporary. A lot of English people are very uncomfortable with 'tradition' & all that- & theyre terrified of being patriotic in case theyre accused of being racist. Dont know where my point is going really, I just think English and American attitudes to tradition are like practically everything else, different to the point of being polar opposites. I think you were talking about politeness, again I think in a lot of England this is kind of over rated. I come from Islngton where the streets are splashed with puddles of puke and wanna be gangbangers knife each other every week over pairs of trainers ( sneakers). Theres a lot
Nov 16th 2012, 3:47 pm
#520
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
of nice people, but there also a lot of utter scumbags who are too busy trying to nick your car stereo to say excuse me. I doubt many of them can actually spell the word 'polite'.
Nov 16th 2012, 3:48 pm
#521
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
This damn phone. Keep hitting the reply button by accident
Nov 16th 2012, 5:24 pm
#522
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Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
A big reason why I like this thread is the opportunity it provides to develope a better understanding about the Brits and the Americans and people in general. The average American(including myself) if in the UK and had potentially compliment a UK person for some small reason.And if the reaction was a bit negative from the Brit because he/she mistakenly thought the compliment was phoney or fake,most Americans would not have a clue to explain the reaction. And this is mostly because our traditions and cultures are very different.After reading this and other threads and reading the opinions of brits,the british prospective is far more apparent.
I mean look at the southeastern states in America. You are taught as a very small child to ALWAYS be very respectful to adults and address them as sir or mam.It's traditional to open a door for a woman.Lack of courtesy is considered to be very rude and boadering on poor rearing on the part of parents. Children addressing adults as Sir or Mam is not a part of the tradition in Washington or New York state for instance and therefore would not be an issue, allthough having those type manners do go a long way in social circles.
I mean look at the southeastern states in America. You are taught as a very small child to ALWAYS be very respectful to adults and address them as sir or mam.It's traditional to open a door for a woman.Lack of courtesy is considered to be very rude and boadering on poor rearing on the part of parents. Children addressing adults as Sir or Mam is not a part of the tradition in Washington or New York state for instance and therefore would not be an issue, allthough having those type manners do go a long way in social circles.
Nov 16th 2012, 7:12 pm
#523
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 285
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
5) the Israel thing. Were they perhaps Jew.........ish?
Talk about indoctrination.
Long Island Jews and NorCal Jews are scary!!! There's a comedy about California Jews which is very funny, but I can't remember the title at the mo
Blimey terrifying!!! It's the London ones who live in NorCal who are even worse..........l Run for your lives people!!!
You can take the gal out of North West London but never take NW London out of the gal
God bless Golder's Green
What the F*** is wrong with you people? You guys are serious hypocrites...
I was leaving this thread but this I can't leave... in the midst of a discussion about the negativities of racism this is what you add?
Then you start ganging up on someone and making fun of them?!
What utter saddos...i'm really not surprised that none of you have any real life friends, geez. At least you've found each other.
Nov 16th 2012, 10:29 pm
#524
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Posts: 3,300
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
The US has become a highly disillusioned country since this century began. This is because of a blend of post-9/11 paranoia, a growing police state mentality, gross civil liberties violations, the world's second worst rich-poor gap, the world's highest debt, an increasingly monstrous attitude towards the poor, and the world's largest imprisoned population. On top of all this their manufacturing is going tits up and they are watching China expand its waistline all over their former stomping ground in the Pacific. They work more hours than most other people, for lower wages, no holidays and no healthcare, and they have a declining standard of living. Their currency has lost a staggering 94% of its value since 1933 and their entire economy hangs on the dominance of the petrodollar, which has been challenged three times in just the last 12 years (Saddam Hussein in 2000, Colonel Gaddafi in 2009, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad right now).
I support the US, always have done, and will do so in the future, but facts are facts. The neoliberal economics imposed in 1980 and pursued vigorously ever since by both parties have buggered the country totally, hollowed it out and caused massive poverty and debt. All of this is making Americans question their country in a way the British did a very long time ago, and they are disillusioned by what they see. Frankly I'm not surprised by the negative attitude I am reading about in this thread.
I support the US, always have done, and will do so in the future, but facts are facts. The neoliberal economics imposed in 1980 and pursued vigorously ever since by both parties have buggered the country totally, hollowed it out and caused massive poverty and debt. All of this is making Americans question their country in a way the British did a very long time ago, and they are disillusioned by what they see. Frankly I'm not surprised by the negative attitude I am reading about in this thread.
Nov 16th 2012, 11:04 pm
#525
Joined on April fools day
Joined: Mar 2012
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Posts: 10,642
Re: Difficult to make friends in America?
The US has become a highly disillusioned country since this century began. This is because of a blend of post-9/11 paranoia, a growing police state mentality, gross civil liberties violations, the world's second worst rich-poor gap, the world's highest debt, an increasingly monstrous attitude towards the poor, and the world's largest imprisoned population. On top of all this their manufacturing is going tits up and they are watching China expand its waistline all over their former stomping ground in the Pacific. They work more hours than most other people, for lower wages, no holidays and no healthcare, and they have a declining standard of living. Their currency has lost a staggering 94% of its value since 1933 and their entire economy hangs on the dominance of the petrodollar, which has been challenged three times in just the last 12 years (Saddam Hussein in 2000, Colonel Gaddafi in 2009, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad right now).
I support the US, always have done, and will do so in the future, but facts are facts. The neoliberal economics imposed in 1980 and pursued vigorously ever since by both parties have buggered the country totally, hollowed it out and caused massive poverty and debt. All of this is making Americans question their country in a way the British did a very long time ago, and they are disillusioned by what they see. Frankly I'm not surprised by the negative attitude I am reading about in this thread.
I support the US, always have done, and will do so in the future, but facts are facts. The neoliberal economics imposed in 1980 and pursued vigorously ever since by both parties have buggered the country totally, hollowed it out and caused massive poverty and debt. All of this is making Americans question their country in a way the British did a very long time ago, and they are disillusioned by what they see. Frankly I'm not surprised by the negative attitude I am reading about in this thread.
